The glories of the ashtakshara mantra: Part 2

 Hari Aum.

Around four years ago, I attempted to provide a translation of the 'Ashtakshara mahatmyam" to the best of my ability based upon a modest grasp of the Sanskrit language.  This consists of a conversation between sage Vyasa and his son, Shuka, and describes the many spiritual and material benefits of reciting the ashtakshara mantra of Lord Narayana (the link to the post is below). 

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The ashtakshara mahatyam describes the theory of spiritual practice with regard to this mantra, i.e. what should happen over time as we recite it. The practical side of this is left to us-- the rishis intended that we would practice this mantra regularly and gradually experience the benefits they described for ourselves.

As we all know, spiritual life is not easy. It involves work, a lot of work-- largely done by ourselves upon ourselves, with the help of God and (if we have one) Guru. The spiritual journey is also usually a long one (lasting a lifetime or more). 

If we have already done a lot of spiritual work in previous lifetimes, then the amount left for this lifetime may only be a little and we will attain the spiritual goal relatively soon. But, for the majority of seekers, there is still plenty of spiritual development to be done in this lifetime. And, for that, we have no option but to commit to a regular, daily spiritual practice (there are, of course, no shortcuts on the spiritual path).

Over the years, I have written on this blog about some of the highs and lows of spiritual life that I have experienced. For example, in the post below, I provided a summary of some of the positive benefits and also the challenges that I have experienced while reciting this mantra for some years. 

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There are two main challenges as far as I can see on the spiritual path. One is having to deal with past karmas. The other is inner and outer obstacles. However, the mantra helps one to handle both of these. I would like to explain this a bit further.

If a spiritual aspirant decides they wish to attain knowledge of their true spiritual nature in this lifetime (and this is the goal generally advised by all Gurus), then all their past negative karmas from countless previous lifetimes need to be purged in one lifetime. This will not be easy or pleasant.

Very few, if any, spiritual seekers attain God after a pleasant, comfortable life. Most of them undergo all sorts of experiences that would generally be regarded as unpleasant from a material perspective, that produce mental and physical suffering. This is not only a chance to purge karmas but an opportunity to develop faith in God and form a close bond with Him/Her (the ishta devata) who helps one through these.

This is where the glory of mantras, and in my experience, the ashtakshara mantra, comes in. Based on some recent events, I would like to write a little more about the practical benefits of reciting this mantra. 

It is said that the mantra itself is the devata; it is itself the very deity one is worshipping, in the form of sound. As Vyasa explains in the ashtakshara mahatmyam, this mantra helps us to destroy past negative karma, protects the mind from creating new negative karma, and also actively creates good karma and thus material happiness. 

But, most of all, it helps us transcend all karma, both good and bad, to create a bond with God, a spiritual connection with that Being who resides within each one of us. And, eventually, it helps us realise that we are one with that Being, that is our true essence, our true nature.

I would say that the universe allowed me to settle into a habit of repeating the mantra daily for a few years before unleashing a huge amount of karmic purging onto me. If the significant challenges had come up as soon as I started the practice, I may have simply given up, or perhaps not, I really don't know. 

But in any case, I am very grateful to have been permitted by God to have developed a habit of daily mantra japa and to have experienced some of the positive benefits of mantra chanting before the real spiritual challenges started some years ago. 

It is the recitation of this mantra alone that has helped me to cope with everything that I have faced in life. This mantra, given by my Guru, I feel has connected me to both my Guru and the Divine (both as Mother and Father).

Why am I writing a second post on the glories of this mantra now? Well, the reason is that I have further experienced some of its glories! 

Last month, I wrote a post saying the spiritual 'silver jubilee' that is occurring this month was not sweet at all. Only Diwali sweets were in sight (and I've already had plenty of those over the years!), but no darshan of Narayana, no sign of Him at all, either in dream or in the waking state. 

I was very frustrated, upset and annoyed with Him at the time of writing that post. This was mainly because I felt ignored by Him. Nothing happens without the will of God. It was He who must have created in me a desire to have His darshan at the present time-- and that wish had not been fulfilled (I last dreamt of Him ages ago). I was beginning to feel quite abandoned and that was not a good feeling.

During this Navaratri, which began last week, I had a dream of Lakshmi, and then later (in the same dream) of Her and Narayana together. It was a very simple but beautiful dream and I woke up feeling very happy. 

After this dream, I felt that Narayana had finally listened and responded-- He had heard me when I said I wanted a darshan of Him in some form. This felt necessary for encouragement (especially after dealing with all the challenges in recent times) to keep going on the spiritual path. (I also see this dream as indicating that I should continue with my regular worship of the Divine Mother, particularly as Lakshmi).

Despite my being grumpy with Him at times, despite my various flaws and imperfections, despite my lower mind (with all the 'shad ripus') being alive and kicking, despite all this, He heard me and He showed up in my dream in accordance with my request.

I am writing this post only to say that He hears us when we are frustrated, He hears us when we are angry, He is sympathetic, He is kind and compassionate. It is true that He does not just show up every day in our dreams or in the waking state when we demand it, but He does show up when we really need Him to, when we need encouragement to keep going upon the spiritual path. This has been my experience.

And the ashtakshara mantra connects us with Him. It helps us to form a close bond with Him. It draws His grace upon us.

The main positive feature about my spiritual life is that I repeat the ashtakshara mantra every single day (while attempting to follow the yogic ethics), come hell or high water. The capacity to do this, despite living a fairly busy 'worldly life', is in my view, due to the protecting grace of my Guru and the Divine Mother. 

Every morning and every evening I sit down for at least a few minutes and recite this mantra no matter what condition I find myself in (currently sticking with the 7 malas per day which is quite modest, and of course, frequent remembrance during the day as far as possible). If there is no time to have a seated session (fortunately that is unusual), I walk about and recite this mantra silently or aloud (if there is nobody about) to myself while performing various chores. If it is late at night, and I am very sleepy, I do not generally give in to the lower mind's wish to sleep unless the mantra japa for the day has been completed.

So, japa of the ashtakshara mantra remains a top priority in my life. I feel it is the basis of all other dharmas, all artha, kama and the quest for moksha and parabhakti. As sage Vyasa says, the four goals of human life (dharma, artha, kama and moksha) are rooted in the recitation of the ashtakshara mantra which grants all these. I feel this mantra has greatly benefited me both spiritually and materially over the years.

So, in summary, all that I can say, is that the ashtakshara mantra is wonderful, it is glorious. It connects us with the Divine, and allows us to feel His grace and blessings and His living response to our call to Him. 

I would therefore say that it is well worth reciting this mantra daily (and I will very much continue to do so, God willing). (Of course, our Gurus say that all names and mantras of the Divine, including from other spiritual traditions, are equally powerful and protective-- so some form of daily recitation of these based upon our own inclination would be wise).

Om Shri Lakshmi-Narayanabhyam Namah. I wish all of you a very happy Navaratri. Let us continue to pray for our own spiritual progress and the welfare of all beings.

Om Namo Narayanaya.

Hari Aum Tat Sat.

Crystals, healing and a dream of Kali

 Hari Aum.

As I've mentioned in previous posts, I am not really a fan of the passive wearing of stones, crystals and the like for healing or as remedial measures for karmic issues (seen in the Vedic astrology chart). The yogis say this is a lesser method than the recitation of mantras and heartfelt prayer and I would agree.

However, I recently discovered that crystals can be used with active involvement of the mind to amplify the effect of mantras, including those related to healing. 

It is not unusual to hear patients sometimes say that they were mostly well for a long time and then they experienced a run of bad luck. They describe going through an unpleasant period in life where a series of health issues occur one after the other. I would say my experience has been a bit like this lately. After years of mostly good health, I seem to be going through a not so pleasant phase. 

I have had a relatively healthy lifestyle for most of my adult life (normal weight, relatively good diet, regular exercise) but find myself facing one health issue after another these days. Some of them are pretty random and not that usual-- e.g. I found myself struggling to walk for a while due to developing 'tarsal tunnel syndrome' (much less common than its cousin 'carpal tunnel syndrome') completely randomly. I recovered from that only to develop a few bouts of infection (possibly pandemic related, possibly not). 

You know the saying, 'desperate times call for desperate measures'. I was feeling sick of being sick and thought I need to explore a new healing modality-- something targeting the 'energy body'. I did a course in basic pranic healing years ago and recalled a friend, who is an energy healer, telling me that crystals can be very helpful. 

I therefore looked up some online resources on this and purchased a book that had good reviews. I then bought a few crystals to start my experiment. The results were quite extraordinary-- good but not in the way that I had expected as I will explain ahead. Before I tell you about my experience with the crystals, I need to share a bit of information related to this.

I've already mentioned in previous posts that the Divine can communicate with us through our dreams. Before I go any further, I would like to state that each and every one of us, as children of the Divine, receives help and protection from our Divine Parents. Just as a mother loves her child, regardless of whether he or she is behaving well or badly, the yogis and saints of all religions tell us that we are loved by the Divine, very dearly in fact, much more than we know. This applies not only to us human beings, but also to all of Creation, including animals, birds and insects, and creatures in other realms of existence in the universe. The Divine therefore tries to help us, even when we are busy with our material lives.

Last year, in February, we were in the middle of the delta wave of the pandemic, perhaps the worst one in terms of mortality. Many countries were in lockdown and life was difficult for many of us. I too, like many people, was busy juggling childcare (my daughter was about a year and a half), household duties and professional work. My spiritual practice was continuing but with difficulty. I also had some mild health symptoms at the time that I dismissed as probably nothing serious (as I felt I did not have the time to look into this anyway).

I then randomly had a dream about the Goddess. In my dream, I had a dream in which I met the Goddess (no particular form, She was just the Divine Mother) along with a 'companion' goddess (In the Shakta tradition of Goddess worship, the Mother is said to have various 'shaktis' or companions who serve Her). 

In this dream within a dream, I had a fairly long chat with the Goddess. We discussed various things, none of which I could remember when I woke up. There was only one part of our conversation that I remembered-- She had told me to seek a specific type of medical advice. 

I was puzzled by the dream and Her medical recommendation. How peculiar I thought. Why would the Goddess come to me in a dream, and why on Earth would She ask me to get such specific medical advice, I wondered. Perhaps it is just my imagination, I thought. 

It is auspicious to dream of the Divine according to my Guru Sivananda so I was happy. But I did not take Her advice seriously, thinking it was probably just my imagination. I saw the dream merely as a sign that I should continue my spiritual practice. I wrote the dream down and did not think about it much afterwards. Until something specific happened some months later.

In October last year, the well-known nine day celebration of the Goddess known as 'Navaratri' took place. The final tenth day, known as Vijaya Dashami, is a day of great celebration, symbolising the victory of good over evil, of the Divine over the undivine. Like many other spiritual seekers, I too performed worship of the Goddess during Navaratri and had made plans for some worship on Vijaya Dashami. 

Sadly, it was not to be. I woke up on the morning of that day in mid-October in extraordinary pain, of a type I have never experienced before. I do not want to bore you with too much information about my medical issues, but suffice it to say, I ended up in hospital and was diagnosed with a condition that took months to recover from. I was told I was very unlucky to have this health issue (apparently can happen randomly to anyone in my age group), but also very lucky to get away without needing any surgery. 

I was completely stunned by this unlucky turn of events. It was then that I recalled the dream of the Goddess eight months previously. If I had sought the medical opinion that was advised in the dream, my condition would have been detected much sooner and I would not have had to face the significant health problem that I did along with the major disruption to my life.

I learned after that not to dismiss my dreams so lightly. Not to always doubt and question myself. I am often so concerned about not deluding myself in these matters that I end up going to the other extreme-- refusing to listen to the Divine. A bad idea as in this case.

Ok. So having shared that experience with you, let me now come to the present and back to the topic of cystals. 

The yogis say that crystals can amplify energy, both good and bad. They can be used for energy healing. Before using them, it is said that they need to be physically and energetically cleaned. Physical cleaning involves washing them with water (some say salt water). Energetic cleaning includes various methods such as exposing them to incense and also chanting mantras of God.

As you know, I am a fan of mantras. I trust nothing in the world so much as my mantra. I therefore held my little group of crystals in my left hand one day in the past week as I did my usual mantra recitation of the ashtakshara of Narayana (holding my Tulasi japa mala in my right hand at heart level). 

I visualised Narayana within me (in the anahata heart chakra) and prayed to Him for help and healing both for myself and for all. I asked for His blessing that the crystals would be cleansed and charged with His holy mantra that I was reciting. I prayed that these crystals would help to heal me and all those who needed healing in the world. I felt nothing special during this practice except a strong feeling that the crystals had been blessed.

Now, many people who use crystals for healing say that they can be held in the hand or even placed on the different chakra points on the body to enable healing. When I went to bed that day, I was exhausted. I thought I would try my luck with placing these crystals, that I had meditated with earlier, on the main chakra points on my body. I did so intending to combine this with some ashtakshara mantra japa but accidentally fell asleep.

I then went on to have some dreams of the Divine. In one dream, there was a battle between Rama (the avatar of Narayana) and Ravana (the demon-king) though weirdly, it was happening in a domestic setting (in a home including my extended family). Rama was slowly winning the battle. This dream was mildly disturbing (as it was a battle after all and all battles between good and evil have an element of stress associated with them) but not too scary. I woke up in the early hours of the morning after this, quickly wrote it down on my phone (as I tend to do with these sort of dreams) and then went back to sleep.

The next dream was much more dramatic and peculiar. Once again, I had a dream within a dream that involved meeting the Goddess. This time, She came as Kali, the fierce, evil-destroying, protecting form of the Divine Mother. 

(As I mentioned in recent posts, I have switched over to worshipping the Mother as in Her sweet and gentle form as Lakshmi (as advised by a spiritual mentor). I have never been a regular Kali worshipper though She is the ancestral deity on my father's side and has been worshipped by my family for generations (we have a small temple for Her on our land in Kerala, India). I always felt the Mother is One, and by worshipping one form, I worship all Her forms. I have not done any Kali worship for many months.)

Anyway. In the dream, I felt She manifested within me (in the dream within the dream, that is). I could not see Her entire form but could feel Her (a bit like you can feel your heartbeat but cannot see it). And She was very wrathful. She was angry with humanity as a whole. She spoke with a powerful voice with a lot of force (I had goosebumps later as I remembered Her voice as I wrote this dream down after I woke up) and there were two reasons for Her anger. 

Firstly, She was very angry about the killing of birds and animals by human beings. Two, She was greatly angered by our attempts to alter human DNA (in a way that was against Divine will). Although I could not see Her complete form, I was somehow aware that She had raised Her right hand in front of Her with Her index finger pointing (as if for emphasis). As She did this, She said that She could destroy the entire world in a second (if humanity did not improve that is). As She said this, in the dream I felt my upper arms were burning.

I felt very afraid seeing Her wrath. I feared that I might burn up myself due to Her anger. Though I was fearful and therefore struggling to think properly, I tried to calm Her by addressing Her by Her peaceful names-- I said "Lakshmi, Sita, Shanti". 

I had the thought in my mind that I should not call Her by Her name 'Sati' (which represents an avatar of Hers where She burned Her body in a yogic fire). After this, She calmed down and the experience ended.

I then woke up in the dream (was still dreaming). And found myself on a ship with other people. There was a lot of killing going on there-- I could see birds and animals being slaughtered in large numbers by people. I then told them of my experience with the Goddess. They did not take what I was saying seriously. 

I then felt Kali returning and found myself raising my own hand in the dream as I spoke with force. I said that She had said that She could end the world. I had asked Her for forgiveness on behalf of myself and the world. They then seemed to listen on some level. I then woke up from the dream into real life.

Needless to say, the dream of a wrathful form of the Goddess saying She was extremely angry with humanity and would end the world (if things did not improve) was very disturbing. I wrote it down feeling goosebumps all over myself. 

I then found myself asking various questions-- is this for real? Did She really come? Is She truly angry? Why did She come to me? (I am an ordinary doctor, I do not have any influence over animal slaughter and weird genetic experiments in the world!). What should I do now? 

I felt I needed advice from someone who knows more about these matters. By the way, although I have been vegetarian for nearly two decades and do not particularly like animal slaughter, I am not an animal rights activist in my normal life. Neither of the two topics raised by the Goddess in my dream are subjects that I think much about in my regular daily life (I was not even particularly aware that there is active experimentation going on into manipulating human DNA in a way that has never happened before).

I had previously already arranged for a priest from a local temple to come to my house on the morning, after the night during which this dream took place, in order to perform a MahaMrityunjaya mantra havan for my health (which is still bothering me). He is also a devout worshipper of the Divine Mother. 

When he came, I told him what had happened and asked him for his opinion and advice. He seemed to think the dream was real. He said that the only one who would know what this meant and what to do about it was the Divine Mother Herself. He advised me to pray to Her to give me some indication as to what She wanted me to do. I agreed to do so.

We then did the MahaMrityunjaya havan. At my request, the priest included offerings to the Divine Mother with the Navarna mantra as part of this. We prayed for health, for peace, for all. (I also wrote to my spiritual mentor for advice regarding this and am awaiting her reply).

In the meantime, I felt that I should probably share this with you. It is not rocket science to look around and see how disturbed the Earth is today, how unhealthy the environmental situation is. Nature or Prakriti is a form of the Divine Mother. When Nature is disturbed, the Mother is essentially unhappy. There are floods, fires, droughts and famines all over the Earth-- this year has been particularly bad from this perspective. In addition, we have various wars and the ongoing pandemic situation. 

Regardless of whether or not you or I take my dream seriously, the fact is, the world is going through some major disturbance currently. Scientists everywhere are warning us of the serious effects of climate change and that this can impact the future of the human race on this planet.

As children of the Divine, we have a responsibility to do our part to help resolve this. I do not wish to prescribe or recommend any rigid rules for living, but based on my recent experience, I would like to suggest the following:

1. Let us all consider the impact of our diet on the environment and on other living creatures. Let us avoid inflicting suffering upon living beings by careless choices regarding diet and lifestyle (this applies to food, clothing and so on). 

Let us consider, when we buy something, whether it is truly in accordance with the vitally important spiritual principle of 'Ahimsa', or non-violence or kindness to living creatures. This is the vital essence of spiritual life. 

Absolutely no spiritual progress whatsoever is possible for us unless we commit to and try our best to practice this in our daily lives. 

2. Science-- now this is a bit weirder. Based on my online research since this recent dream, it appears that some scientists are working on manipulating human DNA (it seems that one scientist in Asia has recently created twin girls with altered DNA including abnormal changes that he did not intend and could not control).

I am a big fan of science. As a doctor, I chose this as my main subject to study in life and I am in awe of the fascinating discoveries that continue to be made by our scientists. 

However, I would just like to say, that in general, it is wise not to meddle with things that we cannot fully control. We are very clever as human beings, but not always as clever as we think. We should educate ourselves on what is happening in our world, including in the world of science. And perhaps, we should not blindly support every single scientific venture as an automatically good thing.

Science has created many wonderful things in this world and many terrible things (including nuclear bombs that can destroy the entire Earth in moments). To those working in the field of science, in laboratories, all I would say is, please be cautious. 

Recognise that there is something higher than the human intellect, there is a Higher Intelligence that governs things. Let us not attempt to play God. That would be the worst manifestation of the lower self, the ego, and that leads only to destruction and sorrow in the end. 

Let us work with the Divine, in accordance with divine principles, and not against this Intelligence. That way, we can ensure that we benefit fully from science without creating suffering for ourselves and others.

3. Mantras and prayers-- I have said this before and I will say it again. Mantras are a very effective and powerful form of prayer. The name or mantra of God is one with God Him/Herself. Invoking the grace of God upon this Earth by daily mantra recitation is one of the best forms of service that we can offer to humanity and all beings. It is one of the best forms of prayer that we can do to please God and obtain His/Her blessings for ourselves and others. 

Please, let us recite mantras and prayers daily. No amount is too small with regard to this. A single recitation of a name or mantra of God has its own power, its own effect. Let us do some mantra chanting every day, even just for a few minutes.

Anyway. That sums up my main message for now.

Since this dream, I wondered if the crystals that I had charged with the Narayana mantra had something to do with the experience of Kali. Further reading on the subject suggests that it might have. It appears that crystals can activate the energy centres in the astral body known as 'chakras'. One needs to be very careful using them.

I have decided to back off a little bit with using crystals during my prayers. The only reason I would like to use them is to amplify the power of the ashtakshara mantra when praying for world peace and the general welfare of all beings. This, I feel, is a safe and appropriate use of these stones (however, I still feel I need to be quite cautious with them after my recent experience).

With that, I will conclude here.

The nine day period of worship of the Divine Mother is coming up soon. Please let us all do some worship of Her during this time for the general welfare of the world. 

Om Shri MahaKalikayai Namah.

Om Shri MahaLakshmyai Namah.

Om Namo Narayanaya.

Hari Aum Tat Sat.

The sacred Guru-disciple bond

 Hari Aum.

It is nearly ten and a half years since I started this blog. So many events have taken place during this time, both 'good' and 'bad' (from a higher perspective, I suppose one could say that even the 'bad' was actually good as it was in accordance with the will of God and ultimately for my benefit).

I have come some way, and have so much longer to go. So, so, so much longer. I am grateful to God for what He has given me, both materially and spiritually. And there is so much more that I want-- specifically spiritually. If the spiritual journey can be likened to the distance from the Earth to Moon then I feel like I have travelled maybe just a few hundred feet into the air.

It is not comfortable to think about the journey that is ahead. Every day that passes takes one one day closer to the day we leave this planet (sorry if that sounds a bit gloomy but it is true). When there is an important task to fulfill, and the deadline (no pun intended!) looms, one feels a bit uneasy. Death is our deadline. God is to be realised when we are still alive, that is what the yogis say. They also tell us that human life is a rare and precious opportunity given to us to attain our spiritual birthright, namely God-realisation. To fritter away our precious life by running after the petty trifles of this world is not the best use of this great blessing that we have been given. 

On this immensely challenging yet rewarding spiritual journey, the Guru is our trusty guide and companion. He or she inspires us to get started on the spiritual path. S/he keeps us going every step of the way. And finally s/he grants us the goal of spiritual life, namely spiritual wisdom.

The Guru is therefore a tremendously important part of one's spiritual life. S/he will appear in the life of every one of us when the time is right. There is a saying that 'marriages are made in heaven' (though many married couples might question this from time to time!). Well, the Guru-disciple bond is very much made in heaven. It is decided by God Himself. 

The Guru is a manifestation of God. A unique manifestation who has one foot, as it were, in the spiritual world, and the other foot in the material world. S/he is a bridge connecting two worlds and is therefore capable of leading people from the material to the spiritual.

Cultivating a strong bond with one's Guru is therefore a vital necessity for spiritual progress. So what can we do to cultivate this bond, this connection, this relationship? 

I would like to share the view of my Guru Sivananda on this subject. And I would also like to share my experiences of attempting to cultivate a bond with him as I regard him as my Guru.

Sivananda says very simply "Obedience is better than reverence". And that in a nutshell, is it. He advises disciples to obey the Guru-- meaning, follow the spiritual instructions of the Guru in letter and in spirit. Be sincere, be true, he says. Be true to yourself. This is the key. The Guru delights in the disciple who, while adhering to the spiritual precepts provided, makes spiritual progress. The Guru wants nothing more than for the disciple to express his/her full spiritual potential and attain God. This is the wonderful nature of the Guru.

This obedience, this sincerity in the application of the Guru's teachings in one's life is the way to cultivate a bond with the Guru. This application needs to be consistent, done daily and regularly (not occasionally when one feels like it). One needs to make an effort to plod on steadily no matter whether life feels easy or challenging. 

On that note, I would like to share some of my experiences of cultivating a bond with Sivananda since I discovered him nearly eighteen years ago.

I discovered Swami Sivananda in early November 2004. I was at university in my second year of studying medicine. It was the holy Muslim month of Ramadan. The national students union had suggested a day for 'solidarity fasting' where non-Muslims could fast along with their Muslim friends to create a closer bond between communities. Some of my friends (who were from various different countries) and I randomly decided to participate in solidarity with some of the Muslim students whom we knew. We spent a day without eating or drinking anything and attended lectures as usual. It was actually quite a useful experience. 

Afterwards, we were invited to the 'iftar' in the evening, the meal where the day's fast is broken. When I attended, an eminent university scholar of Islam (a European convert to Islam) gave an interesting speech about the benefits of fasting. He quoted people from various religious traditions saying that, despite the many differences between religions, fasting is one aspect that unites them all. When he talked about the Hindu view on fasting, he mentioned Sivananda. That was the first time my Guru's name fell upon my ears. 

He said "Swami Sivananda says 'Fasting controls passion. It checks the emotions. It controls the senses also. It is a great penance. It purifies the mind and the heart'". For some reason (destiny I suppose), these words produced a deep impression on me. I wondered "Who is this Sivananda?". When I returned to my student room, I looked him up online and came across the website of the Divine Life Society based in Rishikesh, India (the organisation that he started). From then onwards, I was hooked. My life and priorities changed fundamentally from that time onwards.

I found myself reading his books, experimenting with the various spiritual practices he had written about, attending the local Sivananda Centre. Within six months, I decided to take mantra initiation and was permitted to do so. Later I completed the  one month Sivananda Teachers Training course in 2006 during the university summer holidays. 

At this stage, I was seriously contemplating leaving medicine to join the Sivananda organisation as a trainee yogi with the aim of eventually taking monastic vows (I went through a painful relationship break-up with the express purpose of pursuing this goal). However, when I asked for permission to do this, I was turned away by a senior Swami who told me I must first finish what I had started i.e. the medical course, and then decide if I still wanted to join the organisation. 

Three years later, after I finished medical school, the Swamis asked me if I still wanted to join. At this stage, various things had happened that made me realise that the path of monasticism was unfortunately not for me. It was very difficult for me to accept this (a huge blow to my ego apart from anything else!). I had also discovered some senior doctors whose medical practice had really inspired me and made me realise that medicine could actually be quite spiritual if done the right way. I therefore decided to continue to train as a doctor and keep up spiritual life as the foundation. I also decided that I would one day marry and seriously practice spirituality as a 'grihastha' (householder).

I have done as I decided. I have plodded along the spiritual path, having good and bad days, having good and bad phases. There have been times when I have felt on a spiritual high, with the mind constantly thinking about God and mantra, feeling very connected to God and Guru. These have been times of peace, joy and a feeling of fulfilment. 

There have been times which have been just the opposite-- the mind filled with worldly thoughts, finding it impossible to concentrate for more than a few seconds on God. These times have been filled with spiritual despair and immense frustration. 

So I have regarded Sivananda as my Guru for eighteen years. Initially, he was a figure in a book, on a website, a picture on an altar. Over time, as I began to practice his teachings, I felt him to be my inspiration, my spiritual muse as it were. I meditated upon him sometimes, I imagined him within my heart, I talked to him (as one sometimes talks to God) and I sang spiritual songs to him. I began to feel that he could hear me. I began to feel his pictures looked alive, as though he was looking at me and listening (they always seem alive now whether or not I'm having a good day spiritually). 

And then, after I published the third Krishna book, in August 2018, he appeared in a dream for the first time (I felt he approved of my writing the Krishna books as I did it as a form of spiritual practice which I dedicated to him). I was facing some challenging issues at the time. They were of a 'worldly nature' and I did not want to ask him to resolve them as I felt I should only ask him for spiritual blessings. 

Out of the blue, I dreamt of him towards the end of a particularly difficult night (during which I'd had a splitting headache, a migraine)--in the early hours of the morning. The dream was weirdly detailed-- we spoke as if we were meeting in person. I discussed a specific worldly problem in great detail with him. He listened and asked me a few general questions which I answered. At the end of our conversation, I felt I could ask him for a blessing-- this could be resolution of the wordly issue, or a spiritual blessing. 

Knowing that he always advises his disciples to ask only for spiritual blessings (and leave worldly matters for God to handle), I felt the latter option was the right one, and asked for this. I asked him to bless me that I would attain God in this very lifetime (though I know that even if the Guru blesses one with this, there is still no guarantee as the disciple still has to put in much effort. The disciple must play his/her part as spiritual wisdom is not a freebie). In the dream, he  agreed and blessed me by placing his hands upon my head three times. That portion of the dream then ended. Afterwards I dreamt that I was going to the Sivananda centre to do some 'karma yoga' (voluntary work) which I used to do in real life. Later, when I woke up, I thought "Well, that was a nice dream!" and felt happy (ecstatic was more like it actually). 

But I tend to doubt and dismiss my spiritual experiences (out of fear of giving undue importance to things and deluding myself) and thought, 'it's just a dream, my imagination. He didn't really come to me (why would he)!' Six weeks later though, the worldly problem that I had discussed with him in the dream, was resolved. It was quite extraordinary and unexpected. I was delighted and began to feel that the dream of Sivananda had something to do with it. I thanked him then and am still extremely grateful. 

Two-and-a-half years later, in April last year, I dreamt of him again while going through a spiritually difficult time. A few days prior to the dream, I told a friend that I felt I was a terrible disciple, an awful student, a disappointment to Sivananda. If I met him now, I said, how disappointed he would be, how unhappy he would be with me. Saying this, I actually burst into tears and the friend said something sympathetic which didn't really make me feel much better. 

A few days later, on Easter Sunday, again out-of-the-blue, I dreamt of Sivananda in the early hours of the morning. This time, it was a much briefer conversation than the last dream. We were at his ashram in Rishikesh (where I have been a few times in real life). In the dream, he went down some steps to the Ganga and then came back up and met me (in real life, there are several steps leading down from the ashram to the river). He said only one thing "If you carry on the way you have been doing, you will attain" (attain the spiritual goal that is). That was it. I then told him that his book 'Japa yoga' was a great inspiration for me. He simply smiled. 

(Note--some time after I wrote this blog entry, I checked my written record of this dream that I had made in the morning after it happened. I wanted to check if I'd missed anything important. But I have not. This message was essentially the key part of the dream (I wrote down his exact words as I remembered when I woke up that morning). There were a few other minor details which are less important such as my getting a bit teary-eyed with happiness upon seeing Sivananda (as it felt like meeting a long-lost parent) and touching his foot etc as a mark of love/respect, but that was not the key. 

In the dream, I also asked him for clarification on what he meant, and he responded by repeating the same message. I had the impression that he was asking me to carry on with the mantra purascharana practice, karma yoga and other elements of sadhana that I had been doing over the years. In the dream, I then went away and reflected upon his words. I then returned to ask him to bless me that I would succeed in following his instruction-- I had the feeling that he did when I woke up but could not remember this fully.  At the very end of our conversation, I said that, as I could not usually see him physically, his book 'Japa Yoga' was a great inspiration for me. That was when he smiled). 

I woke up feeling very very happy. I felt that he was saying that he was not disappointed in me, that he was not upset with me, that I should continue spiritual life, no matter what was happening in my external life. I again doubted myself later thinking maybe it was just my imagination. But that dream has had a lasting impact on me; somewhere deep inside, it felt very real. 

And so, I feel my Guru has my back, he is responding to me. He is not just a picture anymore. He is not just a spiritual person who wrote books, a yogi who lived in the past century, a distant person from another generation, a Guru of only other people, a far-away figure. No. No. A thousand times, no. He is not that at all.

He is a living being, he knows what his disciples are going through, he is with us every step of the way, whether we know it or not. Even when we stumble and fall, especially when we stumble and fall, he is there with us. He does not let us go, even when we do. 

I am writing this today for every spiritual seeker,  as a reminder that you are not alone on this journey. No matter what you are going through, regardless of whether or not you have found your Guru, you are being cared for and protected every step of the way. You are not alone. The universe, God, your Guru, has your back. You can trust them. You just need to keep going.

I want to be perfectly frank. I am an extremely average spiritual seeker. Very, very average. As I said previously, I have some moments when I feel really connected to God and Guru. And others, when I really don't, when I forget God for a while. The constant remembrance of God that I aspire for is really not happening right now. 

It feels more like constant remembrance of the world. I am fed up of myself and literally have to apologise to God after every session of mantra meditation these days because of the way my mind wanders. It is absolutely dreadful (the only small hope is that when I sing spiritual songs, I have good concentration). One of my daily requests to Him is to sort this out, to get me back on track. But the response currently feels very limited.

Yet. Yet, He looks after me, in the form of Sivananda he takes care of me. He tells me to just keep going, no matter what. The yogis say, we are not the body, mind, thoughts, feelings, emotions, intellect, senses, none of it. This is just not who we are. We are Spirit. We are one with God. We always were, we still are, and we always will be. Regardless of whether or not we know it at this moment. 

Therefore, the message today, is hang in there. No matter what, just hang in there. This blog is not being written by a person who has achieved spiritual success. It is being written by someone who is right in the middle of the spiritual struggle. 

And that is why, despite my many flaws, I write. I am not perfect, I am very, very far from it. But I believe that spiritual perfection is my true nature, as it is yours. We all have a right to know this, it is our spiritual birthright.

So let us continue with spiritual practice. As Sivananda said-- if you continue your spiritual practice, you will attain the spiritual goal. I strongly believe this message was not just for me, it is for you too. And that is why I am writing it here. Never give up. That is his message, it is the message of all Gurus. Never give up on yourself, on your true Self.

On that note, I am now going to go off and do a bit of my mantra meditation with the faith that it will help (regardless of the level of mind-wandering!).

In summary, the only thing that is needed to cultivate the bond with one's Guru, a true living bond, is spiritual practice. Every single day. Every *single* day. 

This needs to happen regardless of what is happening in one's life. Regardless of how good or bad the quality of the spiritual practice feels. The mantra or name of God needs to be recited every single day. 

That is all that I have done. I have recited the mantra that I was initiated into by the representative of my Guru every day for nearly eleven years (prior to this period, the recitation was sporadic). The practice of this mantra obtained from the Guru (via his lineage) has been the heart and soul of my spiritual practice (the mantra received from the Guru is called 'Guru mantra'; it is a link between the disciple and Guru/God). Everything else (all other spiritual practices such as karma yoga, puja, homam, even kirtan etc) has been built upon this foundation. 

I feel this practice has helped me build a living connection with my Guru, my Guru who is one with God. And it continues to help me forge an ever-closer bond with him.

Om Namo Bhagavate Sivanandaya.

Om Namo Narayanaya.

Hari Aum Tat Sat.

Purusha sukta

Hari Aum.

The Purusha sukta is a famous Vedic hymn to God- perhaps one of the most well-known. I confess that I have been more interested in the Narayana sukta and Shri sukta than in this hymn. Recently I was wondering what hymn may be good to recite to ensure a healthy pregnancy (in addition to my usual daily japa). It may sound odd but the spate of funny dreams continues - I woke up recently after dreaming of some chanting and the words 'yagnaya' and 'yagyapataye' playing in my mind. I googled these words to try and figure out which prayer, if any, these were from and came up with the Purusha suktam (these words form part of the shanti/peace mantras that one chants before reciting the hymn).

As I said, I never used to read or hear the Purusha sukta as I liked the Narayana/Shri suktas much more. After this dream, out of curiosity, I read about the Purusha sukta and then discovered that doing a homam with this mantra is a good prayer to avoid complications in pregnancy.

While it is true that one must face whatever karma (negative or positive) one has to face, there is no harm in invoking divine protection to either lessen the negative karma or give one the strength to bear it. In fact, this is advised by yogis such as my Guru, Sivananda. I have no idea how this pregnancy will go but thought I might as well arrange for a priest to perform the Purusha sukta homam as a prayer to Vishnu to seek His blessings.

My mother, husband and I therefore went to a beautiful local South Indian temple today where a very kind Sri Lankan Tamil priest performed the homam for us. On my way to the temple, I felt very unwell and nauseous, probably due to morning sickness. I have also been dealing with some stressful news regarding the health of my father in the past couple of days which probably contributed to the nausea.

On arrival at the temple, I prayed to Vishnu to ensure that my health permitted me to sit through the homam without having to rush to the bathroom to throw up. Fortunately, the homam passed uneventfully and I felt much better both physically and mentally afterwards. In fact, I felt so peaceful afterwards that I did not want to leave the temple at all. My appetite (which had vanished due to the nausea) returned and I managed to eat some breakfast.

Afterwards, I said to my mother and husband that I feel that temples and homams are wonderful ways of seeking refuge from the daily stresses of life (both from the strain of physical health problems and from mental stress). Temples (and other places of worship) are wonderful places where people recharge their minds, bodies and souls. They are a very valuable part of society and it is good to do what one can to support them.

Anyway, I plan to continue to listen to the Purusha sukta from time to time during this pregnancy. I have written this post for other pregnant women in particular- you may find it soothing and beneficial to listen to the Vedic chanting.

Please see below for a link to a rendition of the Purusha sukta by the famous Challakere brothers who are regarded as experts in Vedic chanting:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_ikKPiCK53s

This is an explanation of the meaning of the Purusha sukta by Swami Krishnananda, disciple of Swami Sivananda:

https://www.swami-krishnananda.org/invoc/in_pura.html

A simple translation of the Purusha sukta by Stephen Knapp with the shanti mantra:

https://www.stephen-knapp.com/purusha_sukta.htm

In a nutshell, the Purusha sukta praises God as the Supreme Being, whose body includes all bodies (hence He is described as having thousands of heads, eyes, feet etc as all the parts of the multitude of creatures He has made belong to Him alone). It describes God as being the source of the past, present and future, the source of all things, the immortal One.

Please note that Vedic hymns such as the Purusha sukta require significant training to be able to recite perfectly with correct intonation and pronunciation. These hymns are said to have wonderful, spiritual and material beneficial effects when one hears or chants them correctly. However, the reverse negative effects may be experienced if chanted incorrectly. If one is not confident in chanting these correctly, it may be best to just listen to another chanting which also gives the spiritual benefits. I have not learnt to chant this yet, so simply enjoy listening to the Challakere brothers chanting.

Hari Aum Tat Sat