Start of Purascharana Three

Hari Om,

I started my third purascharana on January 24. This was a "Ravi pushya yoga" day as per vedic astrology and a good day to commence sadhana. I am doing 11 malas a day again. At this rate, it will take around 22 months to complete the purascharana (providing this is maintained with no increase/decrease in malas) so I should complete it by the end of November 2017. The next two years will be challenging with worldly activities such as buying my first home and potentially starting a family. With God's Grace, hopefully the purascharana will continue steadily in the midst of all this. I met a kind elderly monk from the local RamaKrishna centre last weekend who gave an excellent philosophical talk. Later when I met him for advice, he told me that God's Grace is the most important thing in sadhana. (Self-effort is needed to please God and bring His/Her Grace of course.)

Meanwhile I completed one month of a simple 1 mala a day Durga mantra sadhana (Om Sri Durgayai Namaha). With this I was both thanking the Goddess for giving me the grit to do regular japa in the last four years despite some very trying circumstances. I was also praying to Her to give me spiritual stamina to keep up the next purascharana. In the middle of all this, a small but interesting event took place related to house buying. My husband and I have been looking for a suitable house to purchase for the last four months. We had not really found a house we liked and we did not easily agree on all houses either which made it more tricky to select one. About three weeks ago, after another unsatisfactory viewing of a house, I went to bed feeling frustrated and decided to have a chat with the Divine Mother, in the form of Lakshmi on this issue.

As yogis, we know that Mother Lakshmi represents far more than the crude material wealth that people often worship Her for; She represents all virtues, all blessedness and auspiciousness and also spiritual wealth. She is the embodiment of every good quality. I generally prefer to worship Her as Radha rather than Lakshmi, as I somehow feel I am praying for money when I worship Her as Lakshmi. This is because of social conditioning; because of growing up in Delhi where "Lakshmi" and wealth are virtually synonymous. I like material comfort as much as anyone else but I know this can be an impediment on the spiritual path. I don't know what secret material desires my mind may harbour (only She knows and can destroy these) but I don't like asking Her for wealth generally, especially as She has already provided quite enough to live comfortably.

Anyway on this occasion, I broke with my tradition and worshipped Lakshmi as Lakshmi, the Giver of material wealth. I said Mother, I need to buy a house- it will be used for both spiritual and material purposes. You have made me a 'house-holder', now please provide a house! If You had wanted me to take sannyasa, then You should have organised this instead of getting me married. Please help me because this house-buying business is really dull (I was fed up of viewing endless houses) and I also feel this process is a serious distraction in my sadhana (was very time consuming). Please let it be over soon!
But let me successful in this house buying only if You ultimately feel this is the right thing for me....I may ask You for all sorts of things, but please only grant what I ask if You agree....because You are wiser than me and always want what is truly good for me....(I like the principle of this prayer in many other situations too....Thy Will be done seems the safe thing to say...one prays that one may say this sincerely)....

The next day, I came across an advertisement online of a rather nice house on a popular website used to sell houses in this country. My husband and I went to view it that weekend. It was of a moderate size and adequate for our needs (not too large/small), a good commute to work for both of us, and in a good neighbourhood. For once there was no argument at all and we agreed it was the right house and that we should put in an offer to purchase it. There were other interested buyers who also made offers for the property; however the seller decided to accept our offer. We are now in the process of the legal and financial arrangements for the sale. So I really feel that Mother Lakshmi answered my prayer to help with the tedious business of house buying! Hope the sale goes through successfully now (can take 2-3 months for the legal process) and the place becomes a house of true tapas.

Coming back to the purascharana, I am continuing to do this verbally (will also consider doing a small amount mentally as I would like to develop this ability). The RamaKrishna Swami said the key thing is faith in the mantra. He said it was fine to do it verbally and visualise the deity in the heart as I am doing. He also said I should not put myself under any pressure to do mental japa and just do whatever feels natural and comfortable.

I also told him I did not like the word "house-holder" at all as this phrase makes me feel spiritually doomed! (Many books by yogis appear to say Sannyasis are first class spiritualists while the householder is merely a second class spiritual citizen who probably won't get far in spiritual life).
 I said surely spiritual life should be about one's state of mind (how much it thinks of God) and not about labels like "Swami" and "householder".

Personally I feel that success lies in choosing the path God wants for us, be it sannayasa or house-holdership. If everyone who took up the life of sannyasa and householdership, said O God, Thy will be done- let me do this only if You think it's the right path for me, the world would probably be full of much more happy sannyasis and householders today (Rather than Swamis who fall from their pedestals due to various scandals, and householders who are constantly stressed and miserable). Because God would be standing by us in our path of Sannyasa and householdership.

 The venerable Swami agreed with me and said not to see myself as a "householder" or bother with titles such as "householder" or "Swami". He advised me to simply see myself as a "child of God". This pleased me greatly as I already have this feeling and am happy to cultivate it further. While doing japa, I often like to visualise myself aged two and unable to walk properly (literally stumbling on the spiritual path) and seated at the holy feet of Hari, Durga/Radha and my Guru Sivananda while doing the japa......I visualise Them watching me indulgently....as parents would affectionately watch their small child's antics.....I also sometimes imagine myself as a very small child tucked in bed with my Divine Mother Durga with Her arm around me when I wake up at night feeling disturbed and cannot go back to sleep.......many a time, I have slept very well afterwards......it is a most comforting feeling... :)

Jaya RadheShyam. Jaya SitaRam. Jaya DurgaShiva. Jaya LakshmiNarayana.

Hari Om Tat Sat

Path of bhakti and jnana

Hari Om.

I was recently reading an online book by Swami Krishnananda, disciple of Swami Sivananda called "The Path to Freedom".  He was praised as a great jnani by his Guru Sivananda.
In the book, he talks about the mind, the forceful nature of desires, the inner asuras anger and desire, the true nature of moksha,  the essential qualities required in a spiritual aspirant and so many interesting things besides. It is a truly excellent book of jnana written by a great jnana yogi who was also a great bhakta (see link below).

http://www.swami-krishnananda.org/freedom/freedom_15.html

After reading it, I felt gratitude to Swami Krishnananda for clarifying some important concepts in yoga.....he writes with such clarity and wisdom. At the same time, I felt a certain frustration....it's like reading about the ingredients of chocolate, how to make chocolate, the pitfalls in making chocolate, the different flavours of chocolate....but never actually tasting chocolate. (I'm referring to moksha being like chocolate here...pardon the very simplistic example but chocolate makes sense to me, unlike moksha which is a very difficult concept to grasp- mainly because it is not a concept at all but an experience that cannot be described in human language).

And also one is daunted by the sheer effort needed to tread the path of jnana as described by Swami Krishnananda......complete mind-control almost from the start....mastery over the senses, mastery over the mind, utmost discipline at every moment of one's life, tremendous power of concentration.....after reading this book, the feeling I had was feeling utterly daunted, almost bereft of any hope that this can be achieved....Ultimately theory is very nice....but quite useless until we can translate it into practice.

I compared the feeling I had to reading this great book of jnana with reading a few pages of the "Sayings of Sri RamaKrishna" that I had read previously that day (see link at end of page). After reading that book which is an exquisite blend of bhakti and jnana (with an emphasis on bhakti as the way to moksha), I feel hopeful, optimistic, motivated.
Like many Gurus, Sri RamaKrishna praises the Name of God as the philosopher's stone....it can convert the cold hard heartless ignorant human being into an embodiment of kindness, divine love and wisdom.
An amazingly, this Name is easily available. Simply by possessing human vocal chords and a human mind (both gifted free of charge by God), one is able to avail oneself of this fine gift, the Name of God....after reading books by bhaktas, one feels "Ok, I can do this....it's not easy by any means, but yes, I can do this type of sadhana....it's definitely do-able". No doubt one must strive to cultivate discipline and self-control on the path of bhakti too, but one has one's Ishta Devata to turn to for help at every step....

Bhakti and jnana are equally valid and true paths as per the Gurus, in the sense that both lead to the Supreme. But most Gurus say that in this modern Kali yuga, the path of bhakti is supreme because it can be practiced more easily by the people of today. The practice of jnana requires supreme self-mastery by will at the very beginning....one has to have conquered a great number of one's desires even to be able to start on this path. In contrast, the path of bhakti involves surrender to God, invoking the Grace of God, and this Grace leads to one's desires falling away....one does not fight alone to conquer one's lower self, one invokes the help of God in this fight....thus victory is certain eventually.

Sivananda and RamaKrishna say the beginner bhakti yogi and beginner jnana yogi are like a baby kitten and a baby monkey. The former mews for its mother who promptly arrives and takes it off with her; it places itself in her care and she ensures its welfare. The baby monkey clings by its own strength to its mother as she leaps and bounds through the wildnerness....if it lets go, it will fall...it relies on itself not it's mother to stay safe. The bhakti yogi relies on God for his/her progress in spiritual life (one must feel one is making a genuine self-effort of course...though actually, even this can be seen as the Grace of God)...while the jnana yogi, relies on him/herself mainly.
Another example comparing the two paths by Sri RamaKrishna is that the bhakta wishes to taste sugar (God/the bliss of God), while the jnani wishes to become sugar (merge in God). This is only the wish at the beginning of the spiritual path....of course, in the the end, the true bhakta also becomes a jnani, and a true jnani becomes a bhakta....love of God and knowledge of God are interdependent as the yogis say.....

As a beginner on the spiritual path, much as I like reading books by jnanis, I must say, there is something special about reading the books of bhaktas....such as Swami Sivananda, Swami Chidananda, RamaKrishna Paramhamsa and others. Reading the books by such beings makes one marvel at the greatness of the Soul, of God....one cannot help but respond to the call of these great beings to take up sadhana actively and strive to attain the Supreme as they did. 

Coming back to Swami Krishnananda's book, after reading this, I felt my mind reeling with the sheer effort of trying to understand That which is beyond the mind/intellect. Reading his book is like reading the Upanisads....how can one understand these concepts when one does not have the equipment needed to understand?
It is like trying to explain mathematics to a snail......it would just look at you blankly, not knowing what sounds you are making (assuming it can hear you). I feel like the snail when jnanis talk of the Brahman of the Upanisads, beyond speech, beyond mind, Who is the eye behind the eye, the ear behind the ear etc, Who is here, there and everywhere....! These are beautiful concepts certainly, but by definition, impossible for the human intellect to comprehend.....no wonder the mind reels in dismay....

However, when the bhaktas speak of Krishna/Shiva/Durga/Radha, Their Lilas, Their Names, Their Grace, how accessible They are, how Their Name is a bridge between worldly consciousness and God consciousness, the many yogis who have succeeded on the path of bhakti.....well, that is so much better, positively enjoyable to listen to in fact. Yes, Lord Krishna/Shiva/Durga are all-pervading and are the Brahman of the Upanisads too, but They are much more accessible to our human minds in Their personal forms (rather than the impersonal Brahman).....by attaining Them, one attains everything that is to be attained in spiritual life. No doubt, Krishna being equal with Brahman, is the eye behind the eye, the ear behind the ear. the foundation of this entire world, and is present, here-there-and-everywhere,  but it is so much more pleasant to contemplate Him or Lord Shiva or the Divine Mother than the impersonal Brahman (in my view anyway)....

 The sadhana prescribed by bhaktas is do-able....whereas that prescribed by jnanis feels almost impossible (for most people anyway) ....I guess this is the key. What sadhana is actually do-able....and each of us is different....no doubt there are some for whom jnana is the right path, but for the majority of us, it seems bhakti is indeed the suitable path.....

Representing the views of many lovers of God since time immemorial, the great advaita yogi, bhakta and jnani, Sri Madhusudana Saraswati composed the following lines:

"I know of no other Reality than the lotus-eyed Lord Krishna, of dark hue like the rain-laden clouds, lips like the red bimba fruit, His face shining with the brilliance of the full moon, wearing a yellow garment and His hands adorned by the flute."

A beautiful rendition of the above lines by the great musician Pandit Jasraj:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QenwYPCmlf4

This book "Sayings of Sri RamaKrishna" is simply superb.....reading even a few lines occasionally infuses one with spiritual strength and motivation to keep going on the spiritual path....

http://www.estudantedavedanta.net/Sayings%20of%20Sri%20Ramakrishna.pdf

Hari Aum Tat Sat