The meaning of renunciation and detachment

Hari Aum.

Renunciation and detachment are said to be the essence of spirituality. I would like to share my understanding on these subjects as I see them. This is partly because I feel these are much misunderstood concepts, and that the misunderstanding of these can cause serious harm to oneself and others. I have had direct experience of this harm in my own life and would like to enable others to avoid this if possible.

Renunciation and detachments are qualities of the mind. Contrary to popular belief, renunciation is not about leaving one's relatives, one's job and donning the orange robe. And equally, detachment is not about becoming cold and unloving, about shutting off one's emotions, or about becoming robot-like.

Renunciation is letting go of the idea of me and mine. Detachment means letting go of desire for worldly things. Both primarily involve an inner change in angle of vision. Instead of saying 'my husband', 'my wife', 'my child', 'my parents'- there is a subtle change, and one instead begins to think 'God as my husband', 'God as my wife', 'God as my parents', 'God as my child' and so on. The husband, wife, child and parents are not to be necessarily discarded. The feeling of 'my' is to be discarded. The understanding needs to be developed that all is God- and that God is manifesting as one's home, one's family, one's workmates and so on.

Equally detachment means getting detached from the idea of me and mine, and letting go of desire for worldly things. It involves developing a desire for, an attachment to God. Swami Sivananda used to say "Detach and attach". Detach your mind's desires from the world, and attach your mind's desires to God. As explained above, this does not mean you leave the world (you cannot anyway) - it means you leave the idea of the world, and develop the idea of God. You begin to feel that the world itself is God in manifestation.

The development of this angle of vision of seeing only God everywhere and wanting God alone, is called true renunciation and true detachment. This involves loving the whole world as one's family (not ceasing to love everybody including one's family). This involves loving the world as a manifestation of God.

In the twelve years since I discovered  my Guru and yoga, I have met quite a few Swamis who seem to have an incorrect notion of detachment. As a result, many of them have become rather cold and lack compassion for fellow human beings and also sometimes towards themselves. This is not detachment. This is himsa or violence- towards oneself and others. This cannot lead anywhere good on the spiritual path.

Equally renunciation is not about replacement. It is not about replacing one's home with a large Ashram, or about replacing one's job with the role of the head of an Ashram or acquiring some important job in an Ashram. It is not about giving up one's name and fame in the regular world, and trying to obtain name and fame as a Swami. It is not about replacing one's small-time home/job/family with an even grander home/job/family in the name of Sannyas. This is what quite a few Sannyasis seem to do today.
They leave their relatives and acquire many new relatives in the form of disciples/students/fellow seekers, they leave their small or big job and obtain an even bigger job with greater name/fame as a Spiritual Director, Ashram founder, Trustee or something similar. After acquiring more name, fame, wealth and relatives that the average house-holder they then look down upon the poor house-holder and suggest he/she is not 'renounced' enough,  when they have supposedly 'renounced' everything. What sort of renunciation is this? It is a mockery of Sannyas.

I am not saying that Sannyasis should not live in big Ashrams and fly around the world to teach people. This is vitally important. But why call allow yourself to be called Guru Maharaj, praised and flattered by all? Why all this before attaining God which is the reason one took sannayas? Many God-realised teachers have come; today their teachings are available to all in the form of many centres, books and, best of all, via online access. We do not need more and more teachers with no direct experience of God.

After attaining God, one can teach and hold great titles if God desires this. All great spiritual teachers of humanity who were really able to uplift and truly serve humanity first discovered the pearl of spirituality within the ocean of their mind. They had direct experience of God.
They did not become Guru Maharaj, MahaMandaleshwar, Ashram Director, Founder of XYZ spiritual organisation etc etc first. This may have occurred later and was as worthless as straw to them- what value can such titles have, that represent praise from mere human beings, when one has obtained the Grace of God Himself? Does one need a certificate of approval from human beings when one has got this from God Himself?

Equally obtaining such praise from human beings, without first attaining God, can become a serious obstacle in the life of the unwary seeker after God. Power and fame have lead to the downfall of many a yogi.

Anyway my point is, claiming to be a renunciate after acquiring a large ashram, a number of disciples, fame, wealth and power is nonsense (if one has not yet attained God). Far better for spiritual life to be a simple unassuming house-holder with less trappings of name/fame/power etc.

Another thing about being a house-holder is that your family will freely criticise you if they don't like something- you will get ample opportunity to test yourself in the face of abuse and injury! On the other hand, if you become a great sannyasi, people will simply touch your feet all day, nobody will dare criticise you (because if they do, you will be displeased and kick them out of your ashram)- and in the absence of criticism, your ego will get fatter and fatter. And that is the end of your spiritual life.

So my message for young 20-somethings who have recently discovered spirituality and are consumed with the fire of renunciation is be very cautious. Think deeply about your life. Do not be too hasty in dumping your family, your job and everything else. Ask yourself- can you see God in your family? Can you see God in your workplace?  Or do you feel you can only see God in an Ashram? Are you seeking after name and fame in joining an Ashram, or are you happy to be an unheard-of  nobody there? If you truly examine your conscience and find it clear, and feel the best way you can serve humanity and God is by joining an Ashram, then by all means do so. On the other hand, if your conscience pricks you regarding your parents and dependents, do not abandon them- listen to your conscience, feel the presence of God in your parents/family and serve them well. This will also lead you to God.

And do not make the mistake that I made if possible. The wise learn from the mistakes of others (though sometimes you just have to make your own mistakes, suffer and learn the hard way). At the age of 22 when I discovered my Guru, while in my second year at medical school, I announced to my family that I was going to leave my studies and join the Sivananda organisation as a volunteer/karma yogi (with the view to taking vows of brahmacharya and later sannyas). I thought this was the only way to God. My mother shed tears and threatened to throw me out of the house and not speak to me at all. The rest of my family were annoyed and confused. My fiance who I broke up was extremely upset by my behaviour. I remained unmoved by all their tears and threats, thinking this was all a test of my courage and determination. I felt that although difficult I must walk this path. I caused a lot of pain to others and felt pain myself. I approached the most senior Swami in the organisation and asked her for permission to join them- she advised me to finish my studies and only then make my decision- she said you must finish what you have started.

Reluctantly then, I decided to continue my studies but made an arrangement with my mother that I would do this only if I was allowed to move out of home and live in the local Sivananda Centre. I said that before joining them for good, I wanted to observe them closely. I wanted to see if the private life of the Swamis and Ashram residents matched their public face in the satsangs. It was a wise decision that I made. The scales fell from my eyes. I found that the Swamis and brahmacharis were genuinely good people for the most part, but they were not more saintly than anyone outside the Ashram. They also had petty jealousies, power struggles, anger issues etc like anyone else. Some of them seemed cold and cut off from emotions in the name of renunciation and detachment. I decided that I did not want to join an organisation and get caught in internal struggles for name, fame and power.

In the meantime I found joy and inspiration in my medical work. I felt that it was my vocation to make my medical work into a sadhana. Hence my decision to continue as a doctor in the world (for now anyway- man proposes and God disposes so one never knows what the future holds).

My point is that any job can be yoga (not just the Swami job), you can teach yourself to see God in anyone (even your family, not just Ashram dwellers). By all means join an Ashram if that's what you want to do, but understand your intention well, and examine your conscience thoroughly to ensure you are really acting unselfishly in doing this.

And one final message for those spiritual house-holders who are made to feel inferior for being house-holders by Swamis (who are Directors/Mandaleshwars etc). Remember far better being a lowly house-holder than a powerful Swami.

Power and God do not mix well. Stay humble, do sadhana, and fear not. If you have a mantra, you have the treasure of the world with you. The orange robe and kamandalu (water pot) are not the essence of sannyas. The mantra is the essence of sannyas. The essence of renunciation and detachment is the mantra. Get mantra diksha if possible, and water the seed of mantra sown in you with regular daily practice. Serve all well seeing God in them. This is very difficult but has to be done to make spiritual progress.

Keep quiet and tolerate insults/abuse from your wife/husband seeing God only in them- that is much more difficult to do than renouncing them and will lead you to God quicker. ;) (I am not saying one should tolerate domestic abuse here obviously- that is unacceptable. My point is, one should learn not to react to every petty criticism that people make including one's own so-called near and dear ones).

But seriously, my Guru also said that one should change one's mindset to that of a renunciate to make spiritual progress, not merely change one's external circumstances. Changing one outer circumstances is relatively easy, changing one's mindset is much more difficult but essential.

Also I like to remind myself that Malati Tapovan Mataji, a simple unassuming housewife disciple of Sivananda attained God as a result of tapas done while living in her ordinary home in Delhi looking after her husband and three children, while many Sanyasis who had 'renounced' their homes and were living near Sivananda did not attain God at all.

The sannyas path is the right path to God for some, the house-holder path is the right path to God for others. Let nobody tell the spiritual house-holder than he/she cannot be a renunciate, and that he/she cannot attain God. Renunciation and detachment are of the mind.  Let us request God Himself to decide what path we should walk at any point in time - householder renunciate, or ashram-dweller renunciate, or wandering renunciate. That is the only way we can ensure we're walking on the right path.

Hari Aum Tat Sat

Pingala's example: overcoming despondency in spiritual life

Hari Aum.

Despondency is a common and serious obstacle in the spiritual path. This is likely to grip most sadhakas at some point or the other during their spiritual life. One may be gripped occasionally by a mood of anxiety and melancholy - at such times one may wonder,  how can this herculean task of controlling the mind be achieved? How can all desires be eradicated? When will the mind be freed of the six enemies of spiritual life (pride, anger, lust, greed, envy and delusion)? When will jnana dawn? When will bhakti be attained? When will the ego be transcended? When will God be attained?

One hears the clarion call of one's Guru and other spiritual greats saying "Exert. Do sadhana. Reveal your true nature as we have done". But the mind asks all the questions described above- essentially wondering how this is ever going to happen.

One quails at the thought of comparing oneself to a Sivananda or a Vivekananda. One thinks I am like an ant, they are like an elephant- where is the comparison? One may sometimes despair at one's own mind which repeatedly runs after sense objects, which can only think of God for a limited time in the day before it needs a dose of worldly thoughts. How can one compare oneself with the spiritual greats who thought of nothing but God in order to attain God? The mind may make assumptions such as "I'm sure the minds of the spiritual greats were never as weak and worldly as my mind is....it's going to take aeons for me to attain God".

This type of despairing negative thinking reduces one's motivation on the spiritual path and becomes a serious obstacle and a self-fulfilling prophecy. If one believes one cannot attain God, one will not exert properly and one will not attain God. On the other hand, if one believes one has a chance, one will exert maximally and the rest is in the hands of Guru and God- at least one can say one tried one's best (and God surely will help those who help themselves as the yogis say).

At times like this it is useful to remember the lives of certain people from the Puranas. For example the story of Pingala. Pingala was a lady who slept with people for money - in modern terms, a sex-worker. She focused on the bodily pleasures alone with little interest in spiritual matters. One day, the story goes, a thief brought her a parrot as a gift. Someone had taught the parrot to say the mantra /name of God "Rama". The parrot frequently said "Rama, Rama!" and Pingala found this name interesting and pleasing to the ear and also began to say "Rama, Rama". Over time by repeating saying "Rama", her mind was purified and she attained God. And as per the Puranas, she attained God one lifetime I may add (not millions of lifetimes).

If a lady without any interest in spiritual matters such as Pingala could attain God in one lifetime by simply uttering the name of God without even understanding its meaning, then why not the rest of us? We can tell our mind "We may not be a Sivananda or a Vivekananda, but surely we are not less than Pingala. We can do what she did. We must have a chance if she had!". It may take one lifetime or more depending on the will of God, but we need not despair. (We know of other Puranic characters too such as Ajamila and Ratnakar/Valmiki who started at a very low level and attained spiritual heights by uttering the name of God).

The yogis say the name of God is infinitely powerful and purifying for the mind. Who then are we to say "It is bound to take millions of lifetimes"- is this not demonstrative of a lack of faith in the name of God. It may take millions of lifetimes to attain God or one or a few- let God decide. But let us note that, based on the Puranas, He does not keep people who say His name repeatedly waiting for millions of lifetimes- as demonstrated in the case of Pingala and yogis of modern times.

Plenty of yogis were arrogant, ignorant and downright unspiritual at the start of their spiritual lives- they were transformed by contact with their Guru and the name of God. Examples of modern saints who started off rather unspiritually include Swami Chinmayananda and Swami Vishnudevananda. Swami Chinmaya went all the way up to Rishikesh to write some nasty things about how Swamis are a hoax. However the holy atmosphere and sadhus transformed his nature and his latent spiritual samskaras unfolded and he did intense tapas for years and is said to have attained God.

Similarly Swami Vishnu refused to bow down at the feet of his Guru Sivananda on their first encounter thinking why should I bow down to any Swami! Swami Sivananda understood his thinking and surprised him by prostrating fully before him - this act taught Swami Vishnu the importance of humility and the understanding that God resides in everyone- he then became Sivananda's disciple, did intense tapas, spread yoga teaching and the Om Namo Narayanaya mantra around the world for peace.

So plenty of people who became spiritual greats in one lifetime had latent spiritual samskaras but also serious flaws of pride, ignorance etc at the start of their spiritual lives. In one lifetime, they took the name of God and thus allowed it to transform them completely and realised their true nature as one with God.

Why then shall we despair? Let pride, anger, delusion and other negative emotions assail us again and again - we simply need to continue our practice which will weaken these negative qualities with time, and strengthen the opposite positive qualities of humility, patience, wisdom, kindness and so on.

If Pingala could do it, then by God, so can we. Nil desperandum, never despair - as Sivananda says. It was possible for other yogis in one lifetime. It may be our destiny too- we will never know if we don't try.

Om Namo Narayanaya.  Om Namo Narayanaya. Om Namo Narayanaya.

Hari Aum Tat Sat

P.S. 
6.5.2016:
I was reading the autobiography of Sivananda (available free online on the Divine Life Society website) recently. I was under the impression that he did japa standing hip deep in the Ganga for 12 hours a day for 12 years non-stop before he got the Darshan of Sri Krishna. It appears I was wrong. He did indeed do this sadhana of doing japa standing hip-deep in the water for hours at a time, but he combined this with a very active element of service to society as a manifestation of God. He set up a free dispensary and found time to treat sick people (was a doctor before he became a monk) and did this during much of the 12 year sadhana period. He also spent time daily in study of spiritual books such as the Gita and Upanisads, and also from time to time, visited Mahatmas to obtain their blessings. In his autobiography, he writes that japa and karma yoga must be combined for genuine spiritual progress. He advises years of hard work in service of society alongside japa as absolutely essential ingredients for spiritual progress as this purifies the mind and develops noble qualities such as compassion, patience etc.

I have sometimes thought to myself that my medical work interferes with my ability to do hours and hours of japa, and have at times been slightly despondent that I do not have the capacity to do 10-12 hours of japa a day at present. I wondered if I was doing enough to make some decent progress in this life.

As per his autobiography, Gurudev took renunciation in Rishikesh in 1924 aged around 36 years after giving up his medical career abroad. He then went on a pilgrimage in 1925 and mentions another one in 1931. So he was clearly not doing 12 hours japa every day standing in the Ganga in Rishikesh for 12 years as he was going on pilgrimages etc-  though he was most likely doing this mentally all the time/for many hours a day. Between 1926 and 1930, there is no mention of any travel etc- I assume during this time he remained in his kutir in Rishikesh doing intense tapas. He is said to have attained God somewhere between 1924-1934 before starting the DLS in 1936.

Anyway, this gives me some encouragement that I'm on the right path, and that my medical career is not an obstacle but rather a help, and doing japa while immersed in external activity can still be a means to God. One has to keep reminding oneself again and again and keep the self-doubts at bay.

Also it is useful to remind oneself that spiritual life is a marathon. Not a sprint. One needs endurance, perseverance, self-belief, grit, discipline, determination and training to successfully run a marathon. One needs similar mental stamina to keep running the spiritual marathon. One should also never be tempted to wildly start sprinting fast in a marathon- that will result in prematurely burning up all one's energy and will prevent one from being able to complete the run. Pacing oneself is vital to ensure one completes the marathon.
 Similarly one should never impulsively try to do insane amounts of meditation/japa for several hours a day without careful thought and planning- if one can do this comfortably then well and good, but excessive strain and tension is not at all good- one does not want to burn out and stop altogether.

One cannot stop during a marathon, one has to keep running, even if slowly at times, and faster at other times. Because if you stop you lose momentum and it's harder to start again. Same thing with spiritual sadhana- at times one may do a lot and intensely, at other times one may slow down and do less, but every day one needs to do something- some japa, some meditation etc- one simply has to keep running until one reaches the destination.

Hari Aum Tat Sat