Hari Aum.
I am writing this post in honour of Mother Kali. For those unfamiliar with Kali, She is a form of the Divine Mother, of fierce appearance, who destroys all negative forces-- both inside us and in the outside world. She appears in the famous Devi Mahatmyam, the great prayer that describes the glories of the Divine Mother (I will aim to write another post about Her divine actions/ Lilas sometime).
Like many people, I have had my share of challenges during this pandemic. Recently, things were particularly difficult for various reasons. It has been a struggle to continue the daily mantra japa and I have been just about managing (9 malas daily of the ashtakshara mantra at present). Other aspects of life, including at home and at work, have also been challenging.
I am not a person who normally worships Mother Kali. I have great respect for Her-- She is a manifestation of my favourite form of the Divine Mother, i.e. Durga. In addition, She is the family deity on my father's side of the family (generations of ancestors have worshipped Her, including by conducting regular worship at the small family temple dedicated to Her at my father's ancestral home in Kerala). However, I have never been really drawn to worship Mother Kali-- that is until now.
Three nights ago, I had a dream in which my husband and I were at some sort of Ashram where worship of Mother Kali was being conducted. We were participating in the chanting of various mantras and prayers to Her. In the dream, She Herself was present. I cannot remember much more than this, except that it all seemed perfectly natural. When I woke up, I remember feeling happy that She had appeared in the dream. That morning, my father surprised me by saying he was going to arrange a Kali puja at the family temple to celebrate my upcoming birthday-- I was glad to hear this.
Since the dream of Mother Kali, I have been feeling significantly more peaceful. I felt that Her appearance in the dream was Her saying that She is there for me no matter what happens, whether 'good' or 'bad'. In Her honour, I feel like conducting some worship specifically for Her. Due to issues with lack of time, it has to be a simple worship. I have decided to chant Her mantra 108 times daily for one month, in addition to the Narayana mantra that I recite daily. I consulted a senior Swami and mentor from my Guru Sivananda's tradition for guidance on this -- she advised me to practice the mantra with 'complete humility' as she said Kali allows no space for any ego manifestation.
I do have my individual sense of self, the ego (this exists until one attains the spiritual goal which I am yet to attain). Also, like most people, I have a mixture of qualities, both good and bad. Therefore, I cannot perform any perfect, completely flawless worship. I am of the view that one can please God only by the grace of God. Despite one's imperfections and flaws, He/She is kind and merciful to us.
Therefore, I can only say to Kali-- let me worship You, in the way You wish to be worshipped. Allow me to do so. All the good and all the bad in me, this I offer to You (as Ramakrishna advises)-- as You alone are the origin of all beings and things.
I have commenced the one month of simple worship of Mother Kali. The purpose of the worship is for health and peace, for myself and for all beings, as we are all children of the One Mother.
I was reflecting that the One Divine Mother has so many forms, some have a sweet and charming appearance, such as Mother Lakshmi. Others have a fierce and dramatic appearance such as Mother Kali.
But, no matter what the external appearance, the Mother is the Mother. She has the same heart inside. She is the embodiment of love, kindness and compassion regardless of the external activities She is engaged in-- whether it is giving Her children the spiritual and material gifts they ask for, or whether it is the complete destruction of all negative forces (within and without us).
Whether She appears as Lakshmi or Kali, in reality, She is the same Mother. And a Mother loves Her children, nourishes them and does what is best for them. We can trust Her to do this for us, no matter what form of Hers we worship. She is always there for us, She is always on our side, our greatest well-wisher, our most reliable friend. Life after life, She is always our mother. Biological mothers perform the role She assigns to them-- regardless of whether or not these earthly mothers fulfil their roles in our lives, our Divine Mother is always there for us, watching over us, taking care of us silently.
Even as Kali, She is Lakshmi inside. Even as Lakshmi, She is Kali inside. She is One. We need not fear our Mother, no matter what form She takes. We can trust Her completely to do what is right for us. Through Her grace alone, we can conquer all negative forces (including anger, fear and other lower emotions) and emerge triumphant in the battle of life, and finally attain the supreme spiritual goal.
Glory to the Divine Mother, the embodiment of love, who has many wonderful forms, including Kali and Lakshmi.
Prostrations to Her, who delights Hari in the form of Lakshmi, and who delights Hara in the form of Kali or Durga.
Om Shri Mahalakshmyai Namah.
Om Shri Mahakalikayai Namah.
Hari Aum Tat Sat
P.S. In general, according to my Guru Sivananda's tradition, one should seek advice from one's Guru or some senior person in one's lineage before embarking upon Kali worship in particular (this is also advised, but not an absolute must, in the worship of gentler forms of the Divine, such as Lakshmi, Parvati, Narayana or Shiva, where the purification is more gradual). This is because Kali worship can produce rapid purification of the mind and this may involve having to face some seemingly challenging situations in life. Therefore, performing this type of worship under spiritual guidance is advised.
P.P.S. For those unfamiliar with Sanskrit/Indian languages, please note that the name of Mother Kali is not to be confused with 'Kali yuga', the age of quarrels.
In English, Kali is spelt the same in both, but in Sanskrit and Indian languages they are written and pronounced very differently.
Mother Kali's name is pronounced as Kaali in Sanskrit (with a long 'a', rhymes with the Indonesian island 'Bali'). In contrast, the negative energy, 'Kali', associated with the current age, is pronounced with a short 'a' (somewhat like the 'culi' in 'culinary').
In summary, the two words confusingly written the same way in English as 'Kali', are completely the opposite in meaning (one is positive/Divine Mother, the other is negative) and pronounced differently. Hope this makes sense.
