Due to a combination of recent ill health (fortunately now better), exam stress (four weeks away!) and the stress of working full-time, I have been forced to slow down the pace of my second purascharana. I am now doing seven malas a day i.e. 35 minutes japa a day. I will intensify it again in a few months God-willing once things calm down.
I am currently doing a wonderful e-course called Practicing the Presence of God which examines the lives of three Christian mystics to learn from them. The course just involves receiving some emails and reflecting on them and then putting the teachings into practice in daily life. The three mystics are Brother Lawrence, St Thérèse of Liseux and Jean Pierre de Caussade. The course is mentored by Father Thomas Keating, a Trappist monk in his 90s and a wonderful spiritual teacher. He emphasises the importance of converting ordinary life into sadhana. To remember that God is with us in our most mundane and boring moments- writing an email, washing the dishes, texting a friend, talking on the telephone. He reminds us that we need not wait for some miraculous experience to feel God's presence. Life itself is a miracle. We are just so used to experiencing this miracle that we don't realise it is one.
I find Brother Lawrence's technique suits me the best. He used to have a chat with God. I am rather introverted and quiet in a crowd (though can be chatty on one-to-one basis) and naturally find this appeals to me. The senior Swamiji in the Sivananda Ashram in Rishikesh also told me that talking to God can also be considered a meditation. It was he who first told me about the interesting story of Brother Lawrence.
Despite the slow down in my purascharana, I find some consolation in the fact that I do continue my conversation with the Divine. It sometimes annoys me that it feels like a monologue- I occasionally feel irate that God doesn't talk back to me. At other times I don't worry because I know that God is continuously talking to me through others, through life events, and that even my own thoughts and words ultimately have their source in Him.
Sometimes, I do wish He would just appear in a straightforward way in a human form though (with flute and all) so I could speak with Him like Arjuna and others did. This universal form is wonderful, but I also wish I could see Vishnu in His four armed form and also as Krishna. I would also love to have darshan of Durga. It seems like an outrageous impossible wish to dare to aspire for a Darshan of God but great sages assure us that this is possible.
See this inspiring article by Gurudev Sivananda assuring us that Darshan is quite attainable:
http://sivanandaonline.org/public_html/?cmd=displaysection§ion_id=1083
Am off to do a bit of japa and study now. Have study leave today- am thoroughly fed up of exam revision. Can't wait to be done with the exam and return to a calmer life of japa and sanity.
Hari Aum Tat Sat
On a random note: this Sufi music on Rumi's poetry by Gurumaa is just so beautiful (actually the whole album called Zikr, meaning God remembrance, is wonderful)
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=4I60ZHdx5Og
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=4I60ZHdx5Og
