The sacred Guru

I was reflecting on the Guru principle of the Universe recently. What it is from a disciple's perspective.

It is difficult to truly understand the Guru. Because the Guru is God Him/Herself.

However, as a disciple, one has to be able to recognise and follow a true Guru. To be able to make genuine spiritual progress.

Many say the Guru finds the disciple. Not that the disciple finds the Guru. And also that the Guru never abandons the disciple even if the disciple abandons him/her. The relationship between Guru and disciple is the deepest strongest bond- one that lasts lifetime after lifetime.

I feel the Guru represents the purest rays of God's Grace. If God is the Sun, then the Gurus are the rays of the Sun that touch the Earth and provide light in our lives. We experience the Sun through it's rays. Similarly we experience and know of God through the presence of the Guru in our life.

Words that come to mind when one thinks of Guru are: pure, holy, sacred, stainless, infinitely loving, truly selfless, true devotee of God, wise, merged with God, God Himself.

Gurus whose sacred feet have walked over the Earth have always been infinitely compassionate and loving. The hallmark of a Guru is this terrific compassion that they have for others, to the point where they do not care about any suffering they have to undergo to serve others.

Swami Sivananda showed this on numerous occasions in his own life. For example when he stayed awake all night with ill patients without charging them a penny, when he cared for sick people lovingly. And famously, when as a monk, he carried a very ill Swami suffering from diarrhoea on his shoulders for miles to a local hospital in Rishikesh. Even when immersed in sadhana, he cared for the sick and suffering.

The Buddha famously in his previous incarnation (before becoming the Buddha) gave up his own life to appease a hungry tigress who was about to kill and eat her own cubs.

Swami Chidananda (Swami Sivananda's disciple and later President of his Master's ashram) built huts for people suffering from leprosy in the grounds of his family home before he became a monk. He lovingly cared for them at a time when most people would run away from them- as proper medical treatments/cures were not available then. Swami Chidananda was less concerned about his own health and well being, and more concerned with the welfare of these unfortunate people. His ishta devata was Sri Ram, and he served them seeing Ram and only Ram within them (he later taught his students to serve seeing God in all). He felt he was serving God himself, not doing people with leprosy a favour. It was a sacred puja for him.

Contemplating the goodness, purity and holiness of beings like Swami Chidananda simply fills one's heart with delight. Where I see Swami Sivananda as my spiritual father, I see Swami Chidananda as my spiritual mother. He has such a compassionate heart. The effect of reading one of his works is to immediately want to do sadhana with even greater interest and vigour. Glory glory to Swami Sivananda, glory glory to Swami Chidananda.

This compassion, extraordinary love, love that can only be described as Godly, in fact no less than the love of God Himself- this seems to be the hallmark, the feature of true Gurus.

Ramakrishna Paramhamsa, Sivananda, Vivekananda, Anandamayi Ma- all these great saints and others- declared that all paths to God are one, and that humanity must live divinely knowing that God exists in all beings. When God exists in all beings, how can we dislike anybody or any thing? As disciples we do have these dislikes, and have to keep working on ourselves to remove them - by various techniques such as repetition of the Name of God, a potent method advised by the saints.

It is extremely sad therefore to see numerous individuals today, styling themselves as the sacred Guru, who have no such qualities of a Guru. In fact, many of them instigate violence and negative thoughts about other religions/nations in their followers. Devoid of compassion, devoid of humility, devoid of decency and good sense, full of pride and enjoying the fawning compliments of their followers, filled with pride and the spirit of sermonizing- they sit on the pedestal they have created for themselves. There are numerous people today who, calling themselves Gurus, lead their blind followers into greater and greater darkness. It is really very sad.

Not least because these people go against the teachings of the true Guru. Where the true Guru promotes love and tolerance towards all races, religions and basically everybody and everything- the false teacher promotes violence, negative thinking and dislike of other races, nations and religions. Where the true Guru says, the world is of duality- good and evil have always existed here- mend yourself, correct your defects, be indifferent to the faults of others- the false teacher denounces others, stirs up dislike of others in their followers, and causes more harm than good in the world. The true Guru is a force of peace and harmony- the false teacher is a force of chaos and disharmony.

May God in the form of the true Guru ever protect and guide us. May we always aspire to be perfect disciples and devotees. May God transform us into the devotee He wishes to see. May Guru transform us into the disciple He wishes to have. May we desire only to be true disciples (instead of being the next Guru!) and true devotees that are pleasing to Guru and God.

May our internal enemies be destroyed, may we be indifferent to the faults of others. May we keep the Name of God ever by our side as our protection, as the bestower of blessings, and to protect us from all negativity within and without, to bring all auspiciousness into our lives.

Swami Sivananda's writings on the Guru Principle in the Universe
http://www.dlshq.org/download/gurutattva.htm

Adi Sankaracharya's Guru Ashtakam slokas in praise of Guru set to beautiful music
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QqCji-oDTlA

Prostrations again and again to all true Gurus, to the Guru who is God Himself as Teacher.

Om Sri Gurave Namah. Om Namo Bhagavate Sivanandaya. Om Namo Bhagavate Chidanandaya.

Om Krishnam Vande Jagat Gurum.

Navaratri sadhana

I am approaching the half way point of the current purascharana. Have been doing more japa in the last three weeks as I have had more time- have been doing 4 hours a day on average. Not a huge amount, but it's a big jump from the 1/2-1 hour a day I was doing in the past few months while inundated with work pressures, exam preparation and organising my wedding. I wanted to do six hours a day but my mind just could not take it (not could my body- everything ached after sitting still for an hour).

The last three weeks have been the first continuous period of time in the last few years that have been mostly dedicated to sadhana (without work/any major outside commitments). It was surprisingly tough. The mind is so ambitious and hopeful, but when it actually comes down to doing things, it is not so easy. I have had four one hour sessions of japa since September 1. This is going to continue until Sept 21. After that I will have to reduce back to 1 hour a day for a while as I am moving house next week and have tons of packing to do. Might try and increase the japa again next month on moving home, before traveling to India. I have also done some homams at home and have been doing tarpanam in the last few weeks as it is pitru paksha (the two week period to pay homage to our ancestors and get their blessings for material and spiritual progress).

The obstacles in the more intense sadhana were many. Various cravings grew stronger- e.g. chocolate, a weakness of mine (luckily am skinny otherwise would be in even more trouble). Also have had difficult being disciplined with routine- going to bed on time is surprisingly hard. My interest in vedic astrology also re-surfaced in the past three weeks and I have been reading about it in between my japa- almost obsessively in fact, mostly trying to get insights into my spiritual path from it. I've been telling myself it is an apara vidya, a limited form of knowledge and therefore not something I ought to spend too much time with. I would be better off doing some spiritual reading instead. However my interest in it has remained and I have decided to use it as a spiritual tool and dedicate my studies in it to the Divine- may bet I am meant to learn more about it. I also suddenly have a wish to learn about vastu- the ancient Vedic science of design and construction based on natural laws. I am going through a Jupiterian phase according to vedic astrology, hence possibly the revival of interest in all these esoteric subjects. I have also started a beginner's online course in Sanskrit which I am enjoying very much. Fortunately I can read Devanagari script which makes learning this language a lot easier.

Anyway I am now getting to the halfway stage of this, my second, purascharana. I feel that the Divine Mother alone is the inspiration and strength to keep going with this and other sadhanas. She is after all, called Iccha shakti (will power), Kriya Shakti (power of action) and Jnana Shakti (power of learning). It is good that Navaratri is coming up next week as this is a good chance to do some simple yet effective sadhana to say thank you to Her and invoke Her blessings for ongoing sadhana.

My plan is to do three malas a day of Om Dum Durgayai Namah on the first three days that are dedicated to Durga. Then three malas a day of Om Sri MahaLakshmyai Namah for the next three days of Lakshmi. And then three malas a day of Om Aim Sarasvatyai Namah for the following three days to pay homage to Mother Saraswati. Finally on Vijaya Dasami I would like to do a homam with just ghee offerings to the Divine Mother to the chanting of all three mantras, and also the Navarna mantra of Mother. I will also aim to do an abhishekam, bathing the deity in milk and water once daily throughout the nine days after chanting of mantras.

Spirtual sadhana seems to involve a lot of rising and falling. I see it a bit like being a ice skater or a ballet dancer. People who excel in these fields have to suffer many falls and injuries first, before maturing over many years and then being able to deliver flawless performances. Spiritual life seems similar to me. It is not for those afraid of failure, and a few cuts and bruises. It is hard work to deal with one's errant mind that always wants its own way. One fails and fails again. (Drat that chocolate) Yet I think the secret is that one must rise again and again from the ashes of failure, a bit like the mythological bird, the phoenix. One needs to emerge from the ashes like the phoenix, inspired and strong, ready for another day. Another day of sadhana and possibly failures, but each bit of sadhana is one step closer to success. And when the Divine Mother has us in Her lap, and looks after our sadhana, there is nothing to fear and all is ultimately well.

Om Aim Hrim Klim Chamundaye Vicche

Unglamorous spiritual experiences

I was mulling over the subject of spiritual experiences today. What have I actually attained after two years of consistent daily japa, and about nine years of being sporadically on the path? That doesn't sound like very much actually when compared to the likes of people like my Guru Swami Sivananda who meditated up to 14 hours a day for 12 years!

Still the mind wants returns. I was feeling a bit grumpy and depressed, thinking it is all futile and I am going nowhere. My mind is sometimes well-behaved, sometimes all over the place. Concentration is not easy. It's an uphill battle.

I read books of yogis having divine visions, seeing deities, chatting and laughing with them, getting Darshan of their Ishta. And wonder, how much more do I need to do?

That is clearly not the right approach.

The sensible side of my mind reads what Sivananda says as a cure for depression/irritability/frustration on the spiritual path: "Say Thy will be done. Let go." That makes a lot of sense.

God knows what is best for us. I ought to be grateful that He has given me a desire for liberation and the determination to do a little sadhana. Sometimes I am able to sincerely say "Thy will be done, I want nothing" as Guruji advises. At other times, my bartering mind asks God "when can I have liberation?". Then in despair, knowing that the bartering attitude is not good, I can only say "please help me to develop a vestige of real devotion".

What would divine visions grant me after all? May be God knows that it would only fatten my ego, even subtly. Why want more illusions in this already strange illusory not-what-it-seems world? It would only mess me up further. May be that is why He has not given me any fancy spiritual experiences.

I ought to be grateful that God has given me blessings such as increasing remembrance of Him and repetition of my Guru mantra, a thirst for spiritual life and spiritual practice. Constant remembrance of God leads to Him - and Krishna reminds us in the Gita- one who sees Him everywhere is never separated from Him.

The only weird out-of-the-ordinary experiences I've had have not been glamorous at all- in fact, they have been highly unpleasant. But they have seriously whetted my appetite for repetition of the the mantra/doing japa, and so I am grateful to God for them.

In the past ten years, I have had 4-5 odd experiences of altered consciousness. I look like I'm having a seizure, but I'm not- because I'm conscious during it and that is not normally the case with people who have seizures.  Out of the five episodes, three were triggered by pain/emotion, so the neurologist concluded this is not epilepsy, but rather, a variation of a normal faint.

During the seizure,  I experience a very unpleasant state of consciousness. Prior to the onset, I feel a burning sensation in my solar plexus, and my body sweats, and then the world disappears in the twinkling of an eye. Very suddenly.  In place of the world, there is a terrific blackness and the sensation of speed- tremendous speed- difficult to describe. It feels like I myself am this blackness. There is a sense of struggle, of not accepting what is happening, of wanting to come back- this produces fear, not least because it feels like I am dying. In fact,  my personality does die, albeit temporarily, because in this state, there truly is no me as I know myself in the waking world. There are no thoughts, no idea of who I am, of my name, my relations or this world at all. Just the frightening blackness. I've never seen blackness like that in the waking world.

Out of curiosity, I did some reading recently as to what this unpleasant state of consciousness could be. The closest description I have read comes from Swami Muktananda where he describes yogis turning back in fear when their meditation leads them to a terrifying blackness that feels like they are dying. He calls this the "black light". He states this is the experience of the causal body, and the yogi who remains fearless, goes beyond this to the supra-causal state, the  beautiful "blue pearl". I feel the causal body could be what I experienced.

In the midst of that darkness and fear, somehow the Name of God always appears. There are no other thoughts in that terrifying blackness. The words "Narayana", "Keshava" have arisen in the past. And afterwards (it lasts about 2 minutes, but feels like an eternity to me at the time), I come back to my normal consciousness, in a completely terrified state (sometimes undignifiedly shouting the Name of God). I feel tremendous relief at being back, at returning to the waking familiar state, and marvel how quickly this world of names and forms can disappear and reappear. I also realise the uncertainty of life (how quickly it is lost) and the value of the Name of God.

People who have witnessed my undergoing this experience describe what we doctors would call a generalised seizure. My body goes completely stiff initially, eyes rolling, breathing almost stops, pulse drops very low- then arms and legs jerk and finally I come back again. They say it lasts about 2-3 minutes but in that state, it feels much longer.

On one occasion it happened after japa (in 2006), on another it happened in the middle of the night for no reason. On two occasions it happened when I felt pain, and on one occasion when I was observing a patient in pain. So pain has been a trigger at times, but not always.

So the only unusual experiences I have had, have not been at all glamorous. No beautiful Gods and Goddesses here. Only blackness, and then the Name of God. Each time it has happened it has powerfully shown me that when nothing else can help, the Name alone can. That God alone is really there for me.

This hasn't fattened my ego (as far as I know anyway), it has just scared the hell out of me. And taught me an invaluable lesson i.e. While alive, repeat the Name of God, repeat the mantra- hang on to it for dear life.

These experiences are the basis for my desire for japa. I would not be doing purascharanas were it not for these unglamorous events so I am grateful to them. I have seen how the Name protects me. And I want to make sure I form a habit of repeating it so naturally, so regularly, while living in this body, so that when I meet the final darkness, when this personality of mine really dies, the Name naturally arises in my mind and I go to the One who is the Name. Ideally I'd like to realise Him while in the body rather that waiting till the last minute (i.e. death) of course but that depends on Him.

Hari Om Tat Sat