Our Divine Parents

Hari Om,

I was reflecting recently that our Divine Parents are such a wonderful couple in every way. Now, we know as Advaita vedanta yogis, that there is only One Supreme Being which is the source of all, present everywhere, that this has become all, that this is beyond male/female/age/life/death....pretty much incomprehensible to our tiny human brains and minds. Something impossible to imagine, whose nature is impossible to describe, but spiritual Teachers all over the world describe this as being of the nature of pure selfless love, sweetness, bliss, peace, wisdom and immortality. This nameless, formless Being encompasses all names, all forms, everything and even more.

Yet this nameless, formless Being takes on names and forms in this world and also celestial forms that resemble human beings  that we humans can relate to and worship. And the purpose behind this is to enable humans to be able to meditate upon these forms and thus attain oneness with this Supreme Being.

So hence the Supreme takes on the male God-the-father "Parameshwara" form and female God-the-Mother "Parameshwari" form. They have infinite Names in Sanskrit each describing them as infinite, immortal, the embodiment of love, bliss, peace, desirelessless, full of wisdom, kindness and every virtue (and equally free of anger/pride/lust/hate and any vice).

So in Hinduism, we learn not only that we have Divine Parents, but we learn of their activities both in the celestial spheres (such as heaven, Vishnu/Siva/Devi lokas etc) but also on Earth (when God assumes a human avatar). We learn about our Parents in this way from ancient scriptures known as the Puranas, not composed by any human mind, but revealed to us by great spiritual Teachers. These Teachers also are only manifestations of our Parents also who in their infinite compassion to beings suffering in samsara, explain to us the way to attain Them...in other words, the way to return home.

Let us examine our Divine Parents in the form of the two most popular couples well known in yoga/Hindu philosophy...They who are worshiped by yogis to attain the Supreme Being (Liberation/Moksha/Nirvana....this state has many names, none of which can really describe it as per the Gurus).

The two couples are Siva and Gauri, and Vishnu and Lakshmi. (Saraswati is worshiped on Her own by yogis seeking moksha, but worship pf Her consort Lord Brahma tends to be less common compared to other forms of the Divine).

Each member of both couples represents the all-encompassing Supreme Being describes above, and is therefore worshiped in His/Her own right by yogis seeking liberation.

Even if one is partial to one form out of these, one cannot help but appreciate the sheer beauty and awe-inspiring nature of the other forms too. One is also wonder-struck at the stories of romance and human emotions expressed in the stories of these two couples, but yet, they are woven over the mysterious divine tapestry of Brahman (therefore not a straightforward human story).

Yet for all their similarities in their inner nature, these two divine couples are quite different externally.

For example, Shiva and Durga are the ultimate power couple. Shiva exudes power, strength, yogic self-control, desirelessness, lack of interest in wordly things, self-contentment, fearlessness, withdrawal of the mind inwards towards the Supreme (He is usually pictured seated immovable in deep meditation).
Interestingly also, though Shiva Himself represents supreme wealth (both spiritual and material), He assumes the garb of one who has nothing- no flowers, no jewels, no pretty clothes. Only snakes as garlands and amulets, a tiger-skin as his robe, the glittering crescent moon decorating his matted locks. Yet, for all His rough appearance, He is simply unsurpassable in beauty.
He is visualised as handsome man with beautiful features, despite being dressed as a beggar. His inner beauty makes Him all the more beautiful. This powerful combination of external beauty and internal beauty make Him absolutely adorable to all. Since time immemorial, his devotees have repeated His great mantra (such as "Om Namah Shivaya") and many others with deep love and fervour, and thereby attained their beloved Siva. Who would not feel bliss repeating the Name of such a great One? After all, He is the very essence of our being, our very own Self.

Durga embodies extraordinary yogic tapas like Shiva. She matches Him in Her ability to withdraw Herself from the world and meditate (in Her famous avatar as Parvati). Like Siva, She combines this with a hugely dynamic energy that destroys evil. When one pictures Durga, one thinks of God manifesting as Power (the Power of good). She is depicted as seated on a lion, holding celestial weapons in her delicate hands, out to protect good and destroy evil. Like Shiva, She is incomparably beautiful....with an exquisite shapely delicate feminine form, but yet tremendously powerful.

While Shiva is generally pictured in the mind's eye as serene and motionless, seated in meditation (except in His highly energetic tandava form), Durga is almost always seen as a form with great energy and great activity....activity to win the battle for good over evil.  Unlike Shiva who appears withdrawn, Durga appears completely involved.
Shiva and Durga complement each other beautifully. They are both depicted as extraordinarily beautiful in form, fierce (in a loving parent way), yet infinitely compassionate and loving. Durga is no demure shy female....She is power embodied, strength embodied....She is the One to go crying to if one is feeling scared of anything at all in the world, for She is afraid of nothing, and all the bad guys tremble at the very mention of Her Name....She grants absolute security to Her devotees and makes them pure in mind and heart....

And how romantic are the stories of Shiva and Durga....one is simply wonder-struck by the sheer beauty of the romantic Lilas of our Divine Parents as this couple. And what is even more fascinating is that underneath all the seeming romance, there is no lust at all....only pure selfless love, the love that is divine in nature. There is absolutely no lewd, crude lust here. On the contrary, it is all pure, desireless, deep true love.....a love that loves for no reason, because it is simply one's nature to love.

Now moving on to Vishnu and Lakshmi and some of Their avatars in human form.
Vishnu is depicted as equally handsome as Shiva (unsurprisingly, as they are of course, two forms of the One Parameshwara, God as male). He has all the inner qualities of Shiva, but His external garb is different. He is dressed charmingly with exquisite flower garlands, jewels, clothes - all these ornaments obtain their beauty from Him.
He is jut as beautiful and alluring as Lord Shiva, but just in a different way. Unlike Lord Shiva, Lord Vishnu does not appear withdrawn from the world. Like Durga, He is seen as actively involved in our human world and all worlds (Shiva is too of course, but just appears to be deep in meditation most of the time). Lord Vishnu is the One who takes human form as avatars, such as the well-known Sri Rama and Sri Krishna.

His consort Goddess Lakshmi is the embodiment of sweetness and virtues. She is portrayed as lovely, delicate, demure and shy....quite different from Her other form as the fiesty Mother Durga. She is the Mother who is prayed to for material and spiritual wealth, children and both earthly and spiriual attainments. She is symbolic of all that is good and pure in the world.

Both Vishnu and Lakshmi take on avatars as humans at the same times, forming complementary couples. Sri Rama is the ideal married man and human being, His wife Goddess Sita is the embodiment of a loving dutiful wife. Sri Krishna is the Purna Avatar (full avatar of God), He is handsome, cheeky, humorous and playful. His lovely consort Sri Radha is more serious in temperament than Him, and is also fiesty (She freely tells Him off when She is not amused by His humorous behaviour). She is the embodiment of devotion, pure love for the Divine, the ideal devotee.

Lord Vishnu and Goddess Laksmi exude sweetness, traditional beauty and tender love.
Lord Shiva and Goddess Durga exude energy, unconventional beauty and fierce love.

Both are stunning Divine Couples and one feels fortunate to belong to a spiritual tradition where one is taught not only that one has Divine Parents, but also has the chance to read about Their activities (known as 'Lilas' in sanskrit).

Not only this, one knows, as a child of the yogis, that one can oneself meet and experience these forms of the Divine. They are not made up characters by some talented author. No, yogis from time immemorial have retreated into caves (or indeed into one's room in a modern house), and devoutly worshiped the male and female forms of the Divine described above. They have then been blessed with Their Vision ('Darshan' in Sanskrit) and been granted supreme bliss and wisdom or moksha/nirvana.

 Shiva, Durga, Vishnu and Lakshmi are perfectly real. They are, in fact, more real than you and I. You and I are temporary beings on this earthly planet. We are here today, gone tomorrow. But these forms of our Divine Parents have existed since time immemorial and will continue to exist for eternity....worship of Them holds the key to Their eternal realm, our true home.

Hence the strong traditions in yoga that have existed forever.....each based on which of the three (Siva, Vishu and the Goddess) is chosen as the main deity for worship (yoga advises developing undeviating love and devotion to one form of God of one's choice while respecting other forms of God of course).
 Therefore there exists the tradition of Siva-worshipers (Saivites), Vishnu-worshipers (Vaishnavites) and Goddess-worshipers (Shaktas). All in truth worship the same One Supreme Being, but only in different external forms.

We are indeed fortunate to be able to hear of and admire our Divine Parents in such exquisitely beautiful forms (externally and internally) as Siva, Durga, Vishnu/Rama/Krishna, and Lakshmi/Sita/Radha.

Sivananda says the path of devotion (one of the four main paths to God in the yoga tradition) is sweet in the beginning, sweet in the middle and sweet in the end. Other paths certainly have their merits and are also good.... but he and many Gurus, say that the path of bhakti reigns supreme in terms of easiness to practice as a sadhana, as well as efficacy and the joy experienced throughout.

May Siva, Durga, Vishnu and Lakshmi (or whichever form of God we worship) grant us supreme devotion, love for love's sake for Him/Her in this very lifetime.

Hari Aum Tat Sat.

Completion of second purascharana

Hari Om.

I completed the second purascharana of the Om Namo Narayanaya today (my Guru mantra that I was initiated into nearly 11 years ago). It has been an eventful two years with passing a major post-graduate medical exam, getting married, dealing with some unpleasant personal health issues (including a cancer scare), taking six months out to travel in India including a pilgrimage, returning to Europe and starting work as a doctor, and now the process of looking to buy a house before thinking of starting a family. All in all, in a material sense, it has been very active. However, the thread of japa has fortunately run through all these events and has supported me in all of this.
 For this I am grateful to my Mother Durga, through whose Grace I feel I am able to do sadhana. To say thanks to Her I am going to do some Durga mantra sadhana before starting my next purascharana.

The coming Friday, December 18, is the monthly shukla paksha (bright lunar fortnight) Durga ashtami day that is sacred to Her. The plan is to start a simple sadhana to say thanks to Her on this day. I will do one mala a day of "Om Sri Durgayai Namah" daily for around four weeks from this day until the next Durga ashtami day on January 17. I will also recite the Saptasloki Durga as often as possible during this time, ideally once a day.

Then with Her blessings, I hope to start the next purascharana of the Om Namo Narayanaya mantra on January 24, which is an auspicious day to commence sadhana as per vedic astrology (Ravi pushya yoga). From tomorrow until that day, I will reduce my daily malas of japa of Om Namo Narayanaya from 11 to 5. This is to allow the mind a feeling of rest before committing to another two years of 11 malas a day.

I invited a priest home last weekend to perform a Vishnu homam with offerings of ahutis to the Om Namo Narayanaya mantra. I am unable to do a homam with 80,000 mantra repititions as per the traditional rule of purascharana completion (would be a huge and very long homam/homams). However when I previously spoke to the elderly Swamiji at my Guru's Ashram (the Sivananda Ashram in Rishikesh) who has been guiding me from the start of the first purascharana,  he said not to worry if I could not do this. He said the main purpose of extended practices such as purascharana is to develop a habit of remembering God regularly and the reason to aim for a certain number of repetitions was to give the mind a target to work towards. He said it was not important to become too fixated on the numbers. In other words, he reassured me that it was not necessary to do homam, tarpanam and marjana if I was unable, and simply advised remembering God and being regular in the japa.

With this in mind therefore, I can honestly say that I have completed 800,000 repetitions for a second time today. However I have not performed any elaborate completion rituals. In terms of completion rituals, I only did a relatively small puja and homam last weekend with the help of a priest (it did take four hours though.) I have done a similar homam and puja twice previously during this purascharana. And that is it. I do not intend to do a further 80,000 repetitions for completion as Sivananda himself advises if one cannot do the homam etc. This is based on the authority of the elderly Swamiji  mentioned above. If I now did a further 80,000 repetitions of japa, I feel my mind would burn out and lose motivation to start the next purascharana which I do not want. Therefore I will do whatever is needed to keep my mind willing to continue the japa practice steadily, even if it means not adhering strictly to every formal rule.

Although 11 malas a day takes only about an hour, it has been kept up daily for several months, and there has been an element of anxiety every day about making sure this happens no matter what else is happening in my life. Therefore, my mind feels like it needs a break from this anxiety.... some 'down time'. I am going to grant my mind six weeks of down time to relax and prepare for the next purascharana......during this time as mentioned, the japa will be reduced to only 5 malas a day (25 minutes). The memory of this down time will I hope keep me going at the slightly more intense pace of 11 malas over the following two years. That worked last time and is therefore the plan once again.

I am also going to use this down time to reflect on my Guru Swami Sivananda's 20 important spiritual instructions and see if I can improve my practice of these.

Once again, I dedicate this purascharana to world peace, for the physical, mental, moral and spiritual wellbeing of all beings everywhere. May a third world war, particularly a nuclear war, be averted by the Grace of God-  this is my most ardent prayer. May humanity learn to live in peace with each other and with fellow spiritual beings in the form of other species on this planet. I feel such a prayer is worship of the Universal form of God, His virat swaroopa. I also pray that, through the performance of such purascharanas, I may attain true devotion to God in this lifetime itself. As my Guru says, once this is attained, nothing more remains to be attained.

Hari Aum Tat Sat

The play of Gunas in our minds

Hari Om.

It is well known in yoga philosophy that there are three Gunas or qualities present everywhere in the Cosmos, both externally and internally within ourselves. These are termed sattva, rajas and tamas in Sanskrit.

Let us analyse these gunas in terms of the human mind and then see how they interact within us to help or hinder our spiritual practice. Lord Krishna says in the Gita (Chapter 6)- Mind alone is friend, Mind alone is enemy, One should lift oneself with the help of one's mind and not allow it to pull us down. Yoga philosophy is very clear that we are not our minds. We say "my hat", "my clothes", "my body", "my mind"- in other words, mind also like the body, clothes and hat is a possession of ours- it belongs to us...but it is not us. No, yoga philosophy says clearly, you are the Immortal Self, ever pure, ever above the vagaries of your mind, Realise this and be free. And to realise this for ourselves of course, we have taken to the spiritual path.

So with regard to the mind, sattva refers to all qualities that help us live in harmony with others here on Earth and which help us to move onwards on our spiritual journey to realise God. This includes kindness, wisdom, determination, hard work, self-analysis, self-correction, non-judgementalness, compassion, forbearance, patience, humility and many other good qualities.
Rajas encompasses negativity such as anger, pride, lack of self-awareness, lack of self-control, rudeness, hate, impatience....these are hot bubbling emotions that consume a lot of energy.
Tamas is also a type of negativity but of a different sort. This involves apathy (the feeling that I don't care about myself or anything), laziness, dullness, foolishness, inertia. While rajas is about over-activity in the mind, tamas is about under-activity. Sattva is the golden middle way- the path of harmony and balance.

We know as sadhakas, we need to increase sattva in our minds to help us progress and reduce rajas and tamas. This is done in a variety of ways, including through diet, yogic exercises, karma yoga and of course practices such as mantra japa, puja and other devotional exercises.

Let us now examine our minds with regard to some attitudes to our sadhana that we may experience at different times.

The Sattvic mind has this attitude to sadhana:
I am a pure divine soul in reality, I have simply forgotten this, I must discover my essential nature, this is why I have been born as per my Guru and the scriptures (these are the words of God Him/Herself).
My Guru has said Yoga is about acceleration, about speeding up this spiritual evolution (what would take millions of years can take one or a few lifetimes).
I have faith in my Guru- he/she said I must try hard to achieve the spiritual goal of life in this lifetime so I must try.
Also I have faith in God- I may see a hundred flaws in my mind but I know God's Name is all-powerful as per my Guru and the scriptures, therefore I will not lose heart. I will carry on with japa even when the mind is as restless as a monkey, or even when it is as dull as can be. Under no circumstances will I stop my sadhana.
May God always help me to walk the spiritual path, without Him/Her, I would surely fall, but with Him/Her, success is the only option.
Come on, mind, let us do more and more sadhana. It may take one lifetime or a few, it does not matter. Let God do as He/She wishes with us, and He/She knows best. I am in good hands. All is well.

The Rajasic mind has this attitude to sadhana:
No no, no time for japa today, I have to cook, clean, check my emails, write a blog entry, go shopping, check facebook/twitter/whatever social media site, ring my friend, meet that person etc etc.
(If it decides to do sadhana)- Hurry up, hurry up and finish the japa, I've got many more things to do today for pity's sake!
Or at other times, it says, Yes sadhana is very important....but I can't keep doing this sadhana all my life, or even for a few lifetimes....it's too long, I simply don't have the patience......I want to attain God by the age of 40....quick quick, hurry up and attain God.....hurry up and come God...(it doesn't matter that I'm not yet fit to experience You.....just give me a short-cut pleaaaase?!)....

The Tamasic mind has this approach to sadhana:
Oh I'm so depressed.....my sadhana is taking me nowhere. Poor me. I know my Guru (and all Gurus) say you cannot measure the effects of sadhana with the ordinary mind that I have. I know they say the effects of japa, kirtan, karma yoga and other sadhanas are very great but not easily visible. But still, I am not able to really believe this. I don't really trust them.
I also don't really trust myself, or have any faith in myself. I am a very hopeless character. Look at me - I am soooo bad! Anger, lust, pride, jealousy and more nasty qualities all reside in me. I am a verrry depraved person.
 God would never like me. I will not get His/Her Darshan for at least a billion years. What is the use then of my few malas of japa a day. It's pitiful, simply pathetic.That too, my japa is done without any feeling, or real bhakti. I do not have any bhakti. I am just a good-for-nothing.
 Yes I know the story of Ajamila. How he said "Narayana" once without even intending to call for God, and all his sins were wiped out and he attained the Grace of God. But I am even lower than him. Ok it's true I have taken the Name of God a few times but I feel my sins are more powerful than the Name of God!  So poor me, alack-a-day, I am doomed...
 As the tamasic mind reflects in this way on an apparently miserable situation, it concludes that there is no point in continuing any sadhana. It says....my sincerity is all fake anyway....I am simply fooling myself, I am not a genuine seeker.....I may as well just give up now...I simply want to crawl away and do nothing except sigh over my very sad situation....
If one gently asks the tamasic mind, well, how about doing some sadhana to emulate the Gurus as they themselves command, it angrily says.....How dare I even think I can become like Sivananda, Ramanuja and other spirtual greats. How dare I? Yes these great Gurus may tell me a 1000 times that I am a divine being with divine potential like them. But no, I refuse to accept what they say. I like to keep these noble Gurus on a very high pedestal and consider myself very low. It is simply egoistic to want to be great like them! It is better to just accept that I am a lowly being and not bother doing any sadhana than be egositic and want to be like them.
No I refuse to listen to what they say (ironically, the tamasic mind doesn't consider this to be egoism!). Ok they may say "Obedience is better than reverence", they may say "For God's sake stop worshiping me, but instead do some sadhana and become like me!".....but I say, no Guruji....you are up there, you are very great...I cannot be like you, I cannot do sadhana like you.....no I shall not even try to obey you in this.....please save me Guruji, even though I am lazy and do not want to do any sadhana.....I know they say, God helps those who help themselves, but I can't help myself Guruji....I simply can't...help me please.....please ask God to make an exception in my case and grant me instant effortless Samadhi....(LOL :)

I don't know about you but I see all of the above types of thoughts in my mind. I witness this tussle between the sattva, rajas and tamas in my mind.
For example, my sattvic mind says cheerfully, Come let us do japa now, it is very good for us in every way. :)
 The rajasic mind says Ok fine, but hurry up and finish fast, I've got other things to do you know....and while you're at it, hurry up and attain God because this sadhana business is really exhausting.... :(
The tamasic mind says glumly, Ok, we can do japa, but what's the point, we've got sooooo far to go on the spiritual path, what's a few malas of japa gonna do (we're not Ajamila).... :(

(I do not literally talk to myself in this way (not always anyway! ;) ,  but such types of thoughts do arise....am writing them in this format to make it clearer).

Anyway, at present, I feel the sattvic mind by God's Grace has won a little ground over the other two minds to keep some form of sadhana going. It's very useful to monitor our states of mind and see what Guna is predominant.....

To summarise,
Rajas and Tamas are self-sabotage. Destroying oneself from within through doubt, lack of belief in oneself, Guru and God.
Rajas is about self-aggrandisement....feeling oneself to be very important....this will lead to utter destruction on the spiritual path....as it fattens the ego with a sense of superiority and creates separateness from God....
Tamas is self-denigration.....this will also lead to utter destruction on the spiritual path. It is harder to detect than rajas sometimes as it can be mistaken for humility at times....because of the difficulty in detecting this, it is a dangerous hidden enemy within us and is, in some ways even more dangerous than rajas (which is cruder and easier to see so can be recognised and dealt with sooner). Self-denigration subtly destroys our self-confidence under the pretext of humility, and thus erodes our motivation to continue on the spiritual path.....it prompts us to quit the spiritual path altogether or do sadhana dully at a snail's pace, thus not utilising this lifetime properly to realise God...

In the case of rajas, one feels superior to others, to the Gurus and to God...
In the case of tamas, one feels inferior to others, to the Gurus and to God.....
Both are a case of egoism, two sides of the same ego coin, that prevent us from experiencing a sense of oneness with others, with the Guru and with God.

Sattva is self-affirmation. It is absolutely based on trust and faith in God. Faith in God on three levels:
1. Faith in oneself, as a child of God. Yoga philosphy/Vedanta says all is God. The sattvic mind says I am a part of God. My true nature is one with God. My mind may manifest all sorts of rajasic and tamasic nonsense and try and convince me otherwise....but I will not believe these thoughts in my mind....I will believe my Guru who says I am a child of God, that I am divine, stainless, ever pure. I am beyond all the three Gunas in reality, my nature is was and ever will be one with God. Therefore to experience my true Reality, I will with confidence, take the Name of God, knowing this is the way to God....
2. Faith in Guru, as a manifestation of God. The Guru tells us to do sadhana and reveal our true nature which is that of God, like the Guru also did. To obey the Guru is to obey God, therefore the Guru is to be obeyed (not merely worshiped, though that is also good). The Guru/God wants our highest welfare and gives advice to achieve this.
3. Faith in God.....here one says, I will not take lightly stories from the Puranas about the extraordinary saving grace of the Name of God.
Stories such as that of Ajamila and others are not merely from a time long gone and now only for reading purposes....there is a deep spiritual meaning to these events, and a serious relevance to my own life today, living in this modern world.
God remains as accessible to me today, as He was to Ajamila and Gajendra a long time ago. I will with great seriousness therefore take the Name of God, knowing that as it removed Ajamila's burden of sins, it will destroy my negativity and sins too and bring me face to face with God.....

Let us therefore develop a 'gunas thermometer', a witnessing component of our mind that watches our thoughts. Let us regularly monitor our mental gunas temperature....and try our best to stay in the warm balanced sattvic zone, and as far as possible avoid the heated agitated rajasic and the cold dull apathetic tamasic modes of thinking.

Thus we ensure that we follow Lord Krishna's command in the Gita to lift ourselves to experience our real Self/God, through the help of our minds. 

Hari Aum Tat Sat.

Thoughts: our spiritual money

Hari Om.

I was recently reflecting on the subject of thoughts. They are so subtle, one can't see them or touch them....most of us struggle to control them. Yet they are the very basis of our experience of life, our speech and our actions.....and therefore, our happiness, sadness, success, failure, everything really!

Strange how we don't learn how to manage our thoughts when we are in school. The only time mainstream society seems to bother about helping people to learn to think properly is in cases of patients with serious mental health issues such as depression, anger management problems, obsessive-compulsive disorders etc. Such patients are offered various types of therapies to help change their thought processes which are harming them and others- one such therapy that is quite successful is "Cognitive Behavioural Therapy".

But what about the rest of us who may not have such serious mental health diagnoses, but also suffer the same problems to an extent e.g. sadness/anger/fear etc are all emotions that trouble us from time to time in life. I personally think all people should be taught how to manage their thoughts in a healthy way- eg how to deal with angry thoughts in a healthy way (should I punch a wall, punch someone or maybe listen to some music and calm down? Lots of people have no clue how to handle powerful emotions. Even if we know what to do with our anger, it can be so difficult to practice. (My husband will vouch for this....after we've had a shouting match.... fortunately not that common but this does happen, I'm ashamed to say).

So it's crazy! We live in a world of perpetual thought- our thoughts and other people's thoughts (we are exposed to others' thoughts via their speech/actions).  But we barely know how to control them.

As sadhakas, we sit for half an hour to concentrate- we mostly wrestle with our minds during this time, and at the end often think, phew that's over for now, that was hard work. Of course at other times, it may be more easy/pleasant to concentrate, but on the whole, it is no easy task.

And yet, the Gurus say, from the spiritual perspective, if one wants spiritual success, then thought is spiritual money, thought is the Way to the Goal, to God. Thought is a very valuable resource, the golden key to Moksha/Nirvana.

We've all probably heard sayings such as "time is money", "Penny wise, Pound foolish" (meaning being careful about saving the small change/pennies, but being careless with the bigger currency/pounds)....the Indian equivalent would of course be "Paisa wise, Rupee foolish".

In the spiritual world, thought is spiritual money. (Yes in spiritual life, time is money, but thought is even bigger money). You get spiritual success by thinking of God. Oh how easy it sounds, but how difficult it is. Just think of it and you get it! But there is a caveat. You have to think of it, *all the time*. Not so easy now. You have to think of God all the time to get Him.

So if thoughts are spiritual money, how are we spending ours? The more spiritual money we spend on God, i.e. the more we think of God,  the closer we draw to Him/Her and the higher our chance of attaining God in this lifetime.

Penny wise, pound foolish is a wise proverb that can be applied to spiritual life. If one spends half an hour in a day thinking of God, and 23.5 hours thinking of other things, then that is being spiritually 'penny wise pound foolish'. One is simply throwing away one's spiritual money, one's valuable thoughts. 

Ideally one should spend the greater part of the day thinking of God (saving the spiritual pounds), not simply spending a little time thinking of God (saving a few spiritual pennies).

So our thoughts that glide and slide this way, our thoughts that meander here and there often with little rhyme or reason, these thoughts are everything in spiritual life. They are the key to our success.

We have to get some control of them. We can't just let them go all over the place like a crazed drunken elephant.

The Gurus offer some words of caution here in mind management. They say the mind is like an elephant.....it has to sway from side to side as it walks. So let it sway...but a little, not wildly. If you try and control the mind-elephant too strictly, it will get angry and turn against you. If you leave it to its own devices,  it will go wild and play havoc with you.

Therefore we have to be wise mahouts of our mind-elephants....gently tapping it from time to time with the stick of the name of God and various spiritual practices to keep it going on the spiritual path. In this task, we are best of asking God Himself for help with controlling this difficult thing that He made. It is no easy task.

So if thought is spiritual money, I should be pretty careful how I plan my day to avoid thinking about rubbish and make sure I think about Him. I need to be picky about what I read, who I hang out with, where I go, what movies I watch....how boring this sounds, but it is exactly the advice our spiritual masters give us. They say, be picky, be choosy. Don't just let the mind-elephant go wild.

For example, this year I have been reading and following the news more avidly than previously. What has been the result? More mental agitation and stress and revulsion at the horrific things that people do. It does not help that journalists rarely report any of the good things that people do.

So after reading some of the recent world events,  my mind at one point was jumping about, saying Oh my God, how can people kill each other in the name of God....what madness! After a while, it calmed down. I began to think, the world has not been a nice place really, say for the last 1000 years of history at least. But this has not stopped many people from achieving their spiritual goals in life.

For example, Meera practiced her sadhana in the midst of an invasion of her land by people who disliked her religion, it did not stop her attaining Hari. Swami Sivananda was born in India when it was under foreign rule and he lived during the second world war- this did not stop him meditating on and attaining God. In fact, after attaining God, he was a great help to the rest of humanity in spreading the message of peace rendered powerful by his own direct experience of God.

Similarly all the spiritual masters of recent times, Ramakrishna, Ananadamayi Ma etc lived in times when the political situation in their country was very bad, where irreligion and adharma was the norm in politics. None of the disturbing world events around them could entice them into thinking too much about this. No, they thought obsessively only about one thing, i.e. God. They were very stingy with their spiritual money, with their thoughts, directing these only to God. We need to save our spiritual money like them, be stingy with our thoughts like them. We need to be able to say...I'm not going to waste my thoughts on that not-so-nice person, those bad events, whatever....I'm going to spend my thoughts wisely to get what I want, what I came here for....i.e. God.

I was therefore telling myself, ok there's war, killing and madness all over the world, so what's new? It was worse in the time of Meera, Ramakrishna and Sivananda- they lived in a land subjugated by foreign rulers. At least I have always lived in countries where I am relatively free to think and live as I want.

Why then should I spend my thoughts, my spiritual money, on horrible world events and even a possible third world war. It would be more useful for me, and possibly for the world, if I direct my thoughts to God and send out some peaceful thoughts- instead of more agitated thoughts.

So I've decided to save my spiritual money, my thoughts, a bit better from now on. In the time of Meera, I'm sure she did not spend too much time wondering about the terrible foreign invasions of her land...she wisely spent her time thinking about Hari. I think I'd best do the same. Let the messy world affairs be taken care of by that Hari who knows how to handle these.....I'll just mind my own business which is to think more of Hari...after all, that's the reason for my taking birth here.

Hari Aum Tat Sat.

How to perform purascharana- simple guidelines

Hari Om.
  
This article aims to provide some general guidance for anyone considering a mantra purascharana (also written by some as 'purushcharana'). These writings are based on the teachings of my Guru Swami Sivananda (of the Divine Life Society, Rishikeh).

What is a purascharana?

A purascharana is primarily an extended mantra recitation practice. It involves recitation of a mantra as many lakhs (100,000) times as there are syllables in the mantra.
E.g. A five syllable mantra such as Om Namah Shivaya requires 5 lakh japa (5 x 100,000).
A 24 syllable mantra such as the Gayatri mantra requires 24 lakh japa (24 x 100,000)

The four traditional components of purascharana are:

1. Japa - as many lakh recitations as there are syllables in the mantra being chanted (as described above)
2. Havan/Homam - fire offering with mantra. Number of mantra recitation needs to be 1/10th the number of japa.
3. Tarpana- water offering with mantra. Number of mantra recitation needs to be 1/10th the number of that done with havan
4. Marjana- water sprinking. Number of mantra recitation is 1/10th the number done with tarpana

After these four steps, feeding of the poor and charitable actions are traditionally undertaken.

Swami Sivananda and other Gurus say that if havan, tarpana and marjana cannot be undertaken in the required amount due to circumstances or other constraints, extra 10% japa of the original purascharana can be undertaken instead- and then charitable actions can be done.


Purpose of purascharana: 

This can be undertaken for spiritual progress or a specific material purpose. Spiritual purposes are regarded as best- the result of such purascharana is to develop bhakti and feel the presence of God at all times. This enables one to attain the final goal of life- liberation, one-ness with God, freedom from the pains of samsara and eternal peace, wisdom and bliss.

Rules and purascharana:

One usually needs to follow some rules as far as possible when undertaking purascharana- these relate to diet, conduct and so on (see below).

One should not avoid doing purascharana because one cannot follow every rule. This is very important. The name of God is immensely purifying and can be taken in any state, pure or impure. As Sivananda says, there is gain and gain alone in doing japa. If you cannot follow the rules regarding diet etc, do not worry. Just start the japa in whatever way possible, and the rest will naturally follow in time.

How many purascharanas?

It is worth starting with one at least. After that one can decide how one feels about doing more. In general one may have to do several purascharanas to attain God, as per Sivananda. This is because much purification of mind is needed through the mantra recitation. All negative emotions such as anger, greed, lust, pride, jealousy etc have to be gradually eradicated and the opposite virtues cultivated. Only a pure mind can attain God. Hence prolonged practice is required. The Gurus say a sincere seeker can achieve this in one lifetime however. In fact, they command us to utilise our precious human life, which is very difficult to get, to  achieve the goal in one lifetime.

General tips for purascharana:

This is a simple basic set of guidelines for anyone considering a purascharana. They are based on the teachings of Gurus such as Sivananda and others.

1.  Attempt to follow the yamas and niyamas (or yogic ethics) to the best of your ability. Without trying to practice these, one can make no progress on the spiritual path. This is the foundation of yoga.  Your sadhana will help you get better and better at practicing yama and niyama so do not worry if you cannot practice these perfectly. Perfect practice of Ahimsa, Satya etc is only possible for the Self Realised anyway. One should make a valiant attempt to practice these, however, even as a beginner on the spiritual path.This shows at least that one accepts and commits to developing these ideal virtues.

For a description of yama and niyama, see my article dated May 1, 2018 (link below)

http://mantrayoga.blogspot.co.uk/2018/05/yama-and-niyama-ethical-foundation-for.html

2. Obtain a mala (most have 108 beads), or a watch, to keep count of mantra recitations. Purascharana  requires exact precise recording of mantra done. Keep a diary- write down daily how many recitations of the mantra were done using watch/mala. Pronounce the mantra clearly, and not-too-slow and not-too-fast (For instance, it takes me 5 minutes on average to do one mala comfortably. I keep a diary of how many malas were done daily).

3. Decide how many recitations/malas of the mantra you will do per day. Decide over what period of time you will complete the purascharana. (For example it takes me two years on average to do one purascharana of my mantra).
As far as possible, aim to do the same number of malas/recitations every day, not more, not less. This creates a good habit in the mind and helps long-term commitment to do mantra. If there is a crisis/some reason why the number of malas cannot be done, do not worry- but do at least one mala on that day or even a few recitations. If there is an ongoing problem, one can reduce the number of daily malas and increase again once the issue has resolved. However, once the purascharana begins, no day should pass without recitation of the mantra even if just a few times. No break in daily japa should take place as far as possible.

 4. Try to eat a sattvic clean diet- reduce or eliminate meat/eggs/rajasic foods as much as possible. Favour sattvic foods- vegetables (not fried), fruits, grains, lentils. dairy. Do not be too extreme with this or the mind will rebel, but do not be too lax either or the mind will take undue advantage.

5. As far as possible, try to do japa at the same place and same time daily. If not possible, do not worry. Do sadhana anywhere, at any time, but do sadhana. 

 6. Decide whether you wish to repeat the mantra mentally, whisperingly (lips moving, no audible sound) or verbally. Doing one or a mixture of these is acceptable- whatever feels natural and comfortable.

7. Select a concentration point to focus on when repeating the mantra verbally or as a whisper. When you do mental japa, your mind focuses on the sound alone, there is no room for visualisation. Mental japa is considered more powerful that audible/whispering, but the key here is concentration. If you can hear the mantra better verbally compared to mentally, then repeat the mantra verbally. Ability to repeat the mantra clearly mentally will come as the mind becomes purified. (I personally repeat the mantra verbally- I like doing this alongside visualising the form of my Ishta Devata and sometimes doing manasik puja alongside).
Choose as your concentration point either the point between the eyebrows (ajna chakra) or the centre of the chest (anahata heart chakra). Here, visualise either light or the form of the deity whose mantra you are repeating (eg Narayana/Shiva/Durga etc)– or something that represents the Divine to you. If you do not like visualising, that is fine- simply repeat the mantra and focus on the sound alone. Sit in a suitable asana – sukhasana or other – and keep the spine relaxed but straight when doing the practice. 

 8. Before starting any japa session, recite some slokas. Include a mantra or short invocation to Ganesh and Guru (Teaching Principle of God; may not may not involve a human form, depending on whether or not you have chosen a Guru for yourself), and then repeat some prayer verses to the deity whose mantra you are repeating for the purascharana. 

For example, I say “Om Gum Ganapataye Namah. Om Dum Durgayai Namah. Om Hreem MahaLakshmyai Namah. Om Aim Sarasvatyai Namah. Om Shri Gurave Namah. Om Namo Bhagavate Sivanandaya. Om Samastah Gurubhyo Namah. Om Namah Sivaya. Om Sri Ramaya Namah. Om Namo Bhagavate Vasudevaya. Om Narayanaya Vidmahe, Vasudevaya Dhimahi, Tanno Vishnu Prachodayat. This may sound a bit long/odd, but it suits me, takes about 2 minutes and focuses my mind. So select some prayers that you like and repeat them.

9. Decide clearly the purpose of your purascharana. It is good to have some goal in mind. Spiritual goals are best, ideally, acquisition of true love for God/bhakti, knowledge of God/jnana and mukti/liberation from the ego/attainment of God consciousness. Also dedicate this practice to world peace and the welfare of all. You are one with God, and God is all, so ultimately this means you are dedicating your sadhana to your true self which is all. 

10. For help to choose a suitable mantra for purascharana, see the article dated August 14, 2017 (link below).

http://mantrayoga.blogspot.co.uk/2017/08/how-to-choose-mantra-to-attain-god.html

11. For help to choose an auspicious day to start the purascharana, see the article dated August 13, 2017 (link below).

http://mantrayoga.blogspot.co.uk/2017/08/choosing-muhurtha-to-start-sadhana.html

12. For some practical advice on how to successfully complete a purascharana, see the article dated May 8, 2018 (link below).

https://mantrayoga.blogspot.co.uk/2018/05/practical-tips-to-successfully-complete.html

13. For some information on doing manasik puja (mental worship of the deity) along with verbal japa, see the article dated October 21, 2018 (link below).

https://mantrayoga.blogspot.com/2018/10/how-to-do-manasik-puja.html

14. Finally check out these links which give good advice on japa yoga and purascharana as per my Guru Sivananda:

Japa yoga book by Sivananda- wonderful book with detailed information on every aspect of mantra japa including purascharana:

http://gurudevsivananda.org/japa.pdf

Sivananda websites on japa yoga

     http://www.dlshq.org/teachings/japayoga.htm

     http://sivanandaonline.org/public_html/?cmd=displaysection&section_id=525
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        Hari Aum Tat Sat. 

The art and science of sadhana

Hari Om.

Sadhana is both an art and a science in my view.

I feel the science of sadhana involves:
-following certain rules and regulations for example relating to food, sleep, breath-control/pranayama, mastery of posture/asana, maintaining personal cleanliness, avoiding crossing the Meru bead when using a japa mala, sitting for meditation facing north or east, wearing sattvic colours during meditation, keeping the altar room clean etc. In other words, it is all about rules. Good rules of course. These rules are definitely important (especially for beginners on the path) and primarily involve the body rather than the mind (they indirectly exert a positive influence on the the mind).

On the other hand, I feel the art of sadhana involves:
-direct development of the mind, intellect and emotions, one's higher faculties and involving all these in contemplation of God. It involves developing a feeling towards the Divine, having some regular contemplation of the Divine, feeling that God is one's friend/brother/sister/mother/father/husband/wife- someone beloved.
One develops a desire, a longing for God. This longing motivates one to do sadhana. This is the real work of sadhana. Cultivation of that inner bhav or feeling for God.
Chidananda says "refer to God in whatever you do." If you crack a joke, he says, privately share it with God." May say something like "Did You find that funny too? Well, I hope so, since my sense of humour comes from You!"....if one is fed up after a long day at work one might say "Thank You for helping me survive this day. You know this is all about You. All this toil and trouble I go through at work is ultimately for the highest prize- You. Money is ok, it is needed to keep this instrument alive. But the instrument will fail me one day. But You never will." It is saying to God "Can't believe we're stuck in this traffic again." Or alternatively singing a little kirtan while stuck in traffic.
Real sadhana involves silently dying inside, dying of frustration of being trapped in this cage of mind and senses, that frustration that is made worse by the fact that few seem to understand or share it...."when can I be fit enough to get Your darshan"...."when can I have a taste of nirvikalpa samadhi....I am so bored of the games of this world and the senses...."It is that heroic attitude of saying "Ok, may be another million lifetimes remain for purification, but I will do a bit more intense sadhana TODAY". It is giving importance to Today, the only day we really have.

The art of sadhana ultimately involving God in that endless stream of consciousness, of thoughts in our mind. Which way does the stream flow? When the stream revolves around God, one is developing the art of sadhana.

Too many people focus merely on the science of sadhana/religion (I can do the scorpion asana, I eat only strict vegetarian food, I wear this particular dress etc)- all these may be important but are not enough.

One needs to keep God in mind. As spiritual beginners we may not be able to do it 24/7 but this is still our aim. Therefore we dip into His/Her remembrance time and time again during the day. When brushing our teeth, when at our work desk, when cooking, when ill, when happy, when going to sleep. The day needs to be periodically filled with thoughts of Him in order to be able to attain Him. What a painfully long journey it seems. Yet we must keep going. There is no other way.

One practical piece of advice for people who work in a mundane environment based on Chidananda's recommendation to remember God. Before every new task at work, say your Guru mantra a few times. And keep a record of it to see how you are progressing in God remembrance.
For example, I repeat my Guru mantra five times before calling each patient into my room. I make a small circle on a piece of paper on my desk to indicate I have done so. At the end of the clinic, I count how many circles I drew- this gives me an idea as to how many times I could remember God during my mundane worldly activity. Initially I used to forget to recite the mantra before calling in the patient. Now I am getting better at it. Until one's mind spontaneously attaches to Him and calls Him continuously, one has to practice in this precise manner. One has to observe, measure and practice to the best of one's ability. Sivananda used to say, be absolutely precise in recording the amount of japa done- bhav will come with repetition.

P.S. Second purasharana update:

I have entered the last three months of the second purascharana this month. I want to crank up the sadhana a little in this last phase. An auspicious time in the year is coming with Janmashtami, Navaratri and the month of Kartik all on their way.

I recently started a new job four months ago and have been busy getting used to this lately. I have been thinking a lot about work recently. Now that I am comfortably established in my work for the most part, I want to place a greater emphasis on thoughts relating to sadhana.

I want to think less about worldly things once I get home from work (like what today's patients were like, what's in the news today etc).
I want to think more about God instead. During the final phase of this purascharana, I want to significantly increase the quality and quantity of sadhana.

Quality for me in the next three months means:
-more svadhyaya, a cleaner diet (less rajasic foods like biscuits and chocolate and more sattvic foods like fruit, kitchri etc), better sleep-wake cycle (have to break the terrible habit of sleeping late acquired from working late in the past), get up earlier in the morning for sadhana, seriously limit internet (stop reading the news online daily- a recently acquired bad habit that leaves my mind agitated at the sheer self-destructive behaviour of humankind), more kirtan (always feel I should do more), more satsang, more asana (got to aim for at least 4 times a week), daily pranayama (doing abt 3-4 times a week currently).

Quantity means more frequent remembrance of God (not increasing the number of japa malas which will stay at 11 per day).

One has to look at it this way. One day one will be close to God Realisation....one will be within three months of this experience. One day it has to become that close. It cannot be forever millions of lifetimes away! What if these three months are it for me? I have to commit to sadhana as if it is. Because I will never get these three months of sadhana time back again.  And even I don't attain God after the next three months, with this attitude I should at least be able to make great strides in my sadhana. Sometime one just has to be optimistic (while being realistic too). Nothing is ever lost as Krishna says in the Gita. On that upbeat and hopeful note, I am off to bathe and settle down for some evening sadhana.

Hari Aum Tat Sat

Obedience is better than reverence

Hari Om,

These are some reflections on my japa practice of purascharanas and my way of drawing inspiration from my Guru Sivananda's own intense japa practice during his lifetime. I have written down my thoughts and it is mostly words addressed to my Guru. I was feeling very de-motivated recently regarding my spiritual life (it all seemed pretty hopeless) and I felt I needed to draw up a clear plan of action to keep motivated and keep going. This is such an attempt (whether or not I succeed in this plan depends on God's plans for me of course).

I was just mulling over these words of my Guru. “Obedience is better than reverence”. Sivananda said he wanted his students to try their utmost to live the divine life and realise God in this lifetime- or rather to become true devotees in this lifetime, let God give realisation when He/She  wishes. Reverence for the Guru is important, but not enough to please the Guru- one has to follow his/her teachings sincerely and grow towards the divine ideal that is pleasing to God and Guru.

One of Sivananda’s favourite techniques to transform the undivine into the divine was japa.  He said sitting, standing, walking and talking….even in your dreams, all the time you should be doing japa.

I was thinking about my own japa practice recently. How small and insignificant it seems when compared to the huge and heroic efforts of people like my Guru who did several hours of japa a day during his intense twelve year sadhana period after renouncing the world to realise God. When I compare myself to them, it is like I am just learning to run, and they are like Olympic champions in running.

But I must learn to run like them. Sivananda used to say, don’t merely revere me but obey me, become like me, achieve what I did. Achieve this like I did through hard work, tapas, austerity and devotion. This is the spiritual fee he demands from his students.

But how to become like you, Guru? The answer I realised lies in closing the gap a little between the disciple and the Guru. 

Guru is God, but before he became one with God, before he became a perfect instrument of God, when he was not yet a Guru, he was simply a bound soul, a bound soul like me.  When one understands that one’s Guru also evolved through the stage where one currently is (in some lifetime or the other), one also feels hope of achieving the same consciousness as the Guru. Otherwise it seems impossible.

So Gurudev, I must remind myself that you were not perfect before you became Realised, you too had flaws that you corrected. Thinking about your flaws is necessary for me to recognise that my flaws too can be corrected like you corrected yours. 

During his sadhana period, Gurudev wrote instructions like these to himself “do not hate, forget any injury immediately like a child, it kindles hatred, do not revenge, bear insult, bear injury, give up salt, give up sugar, serve rogues” – all this shows that he was training his mind to develop along these lines, to give up thoughts of hatred/revenge, to learn self-control by giving up salt/sugar, to learn to see God even in the wicked. In other words, he did not have these qualities in perfection, otherwise why would he have needed to train his mind? If you do not hate, you do not have to tell yourself not to hate. So it means Gurudev also experienced negative emotions in his mind, like hate/revenge etc. The difference is that unlike many people, he decided to get rid of these emotions by tapas and thus experience the divinity within.

So when I feel anger and dislike (a form of hatred really) at times, I must remind myself Guru, that I am not that bad- I too can change like you did.

And now Gurudev, to be able to set myself some targets of transformative japa for this lifetime, I have to do something a bit audacious, something unimaginable, but something that will help motivate me so this audaciousness is necessary, i.e. I must try and estimate how much japa you did in your sadhana period! 

I feel japa is the key to my spiritual transformation, just as it was for yours. You may have come into this lifetime far more advanced spiritually than me Gurudev, but I have to believe that it is possible for me also to attain true devotion in this lifetime (Sivananda used to say, attain devotion, realisation will come of itself when God wants).

I want to pay the spiritual fee you demanded from your students Gurudev. Your fee was that your students do intense sadhana throughout life to attain God. To be able to motivate myself, I must analyse your sadhana and gain inspiration from you. I feel I have to do the impossible- estimate how much japa you might have done in that 12 year period, and set myself an approximate target for this lifetime. Without this, I have no idea of the amount of japa I may have to do, and no clear plan.

Gurudev, your mantra was the 12-lettered dwadasakshari mantra-  Om Namo Bhagavate Vaasudevaya. This mantra is a bit longer than mine. May be you repeated this mantra with deep devotion with every breath- something I may not be able to do for lifetimes. But for now, I have to set myself a realistic target- so for that I have to estimate how much purascharanas you perhaps did in that 12 year period before you got the Darshan of Lord Krishna and attained God Realisation.

You always said the japa should be done slowly with feeling Gurudev. And you tell your students, that while they must do japa with bhava, yet they must keep a record of the number of malas done with scientific accuracy. Although the feeling with which japa is done is most important, the number of japa done is also important. Because you say in your writings, that with prolonged practice, feeling comes. Prolonged practice is therefore the key to developing true devotion.

So let me try to estimate what type of prolonged practice I must do in this lifetime to develop devotion Gurudev, using you as my inspiration.

Having said dwadashakshari mantra a few times, I believe one can say about 10 malas of this mantra in an hour, with clear pronunciation. Any faster than this, and one may mutilate the words and it sounds ugly. You did not believe in rollercoaster fast japa Gurudev, so I believe you did it slowly with feeling, as you advise your students. So I assume you maybe did about 10 malas per hour.

And Gurudev, you used to do hours of japa a day, standing in the cold waters of Mother Ganga, from 4 am and sometimes finishing japa only at sunset.  During your intense 12 year japa period, you also provide medical services to the sadhus and other poor people for free. You probably repeated your sacred mantra during these services, as you advise your students to do, but this was not part of your formal seated japa time. Therefore I will assume that you did about 6 hours of japa a day averaged across the 12 years.  This assumption is also based on your written advice to whole-time aspirants to do 6 hours of seated japa a day. 

Let us say Gurudev, that out of 365 days a year, at least 300 days every year were spent by you in this intense tapas (the other days you may have been more focused on karma yoga/service of the sick and so on)- i.e. 6 hours of devout japa a day- this is an average across the 12 year period.

 How many purascharanas does that make of your mantra Gurudev? Let us calculate.

12 letters in the mantra means one purascharana is 12 x 100,000 = 1200,000 repetitions.

At 10 malas an hour, doing 6 hours a day, for 300 days a year, one would do 10 x 6 x 300 = 18000 malas a year.

In 12 years, Gurudev,  you may have done 18000 x 12 =  216000 malas japa

= 23, 328, 000 repetitions

= 23, 238, 000/ 1200,000 purascharanas

= 19.44 purascharanas

So Gurudev you may have done at least 20 purascharanas in this 12 year sadhana period, may be even 25 in that 12 year sadhana period.

This is interesting, as you mention a famous yogi Madhusudhana Swami who realised God halfway through his 18^th purascharana of a Krishna mantra. So doing 1-2 purascharanas in a lifetime is not enough. One may need to commit to at least 15-20, may be more in a lifetime- may be do this number repeatedly in many lifetimes.

So when great Gurus had to do about 20-30  purascharanas to attain God in one lifetime, I may have to do at least this, may be many more.

 Let me see how long it would take me to do 20 purascharanas. Let me be very realistic. I do one hour of japa a day at present- 11 malas. I do not have the sheer energy and stamina needed to do 6 hours of japa a day for years- at least that is my state today (may change in the future). At a push, I could do 6 hours a day for a few weeks at a time during a special period eg Navaratri, but  not every day for years.

Doing one hour of japa a day most days, with some extra hours of japa during special spiritual festivals, I can do a purascharana in 2 years. It would therefore take me 40 years at this rate to do 20 purascharanas. A forty year commitment (assuming I live another 40 years) it has to be then. Minimum.

My body is 32 years old now- so another 40 years, means I will be 72 years old. Great- not that old. :) If I still haven’t achieved God then, I might have another 10 years or so after that age before my body packs up.

My current second purascharana is due to finish in late Nov- early Dec this year. i.e. 1.75 purascharanas down, 19.25 left to go!

Sivananda and other yogis said that it was God’s grace alone that gave them the necessary stamina to keep going, to stay motivated on the path of sadhana. 

I feel it is Durga, Parvati, Katyayani, my beloved Mother who gives me the strength to do sadhana. So therefore, with this plan in mind (bearing in mind, that man proposes and God disposes), I say to Durga, if it is Your/Hari’s wish that this lifelong sadhana takes place, then give me the necessary determination and motivation to keep going no matter what happens in my life. 

I have plans to buy a house, to have may be one child  and other worldly stuff planned- but let japa continue through all this, let all this worldly activity aid my spiritual life and not be a hindrance- let it be a way of learning life's lessons-  and if any of these plans goes against God’s wish for me, let it not happen. Let only that which God (my best well-wisher) wants for me happen. 

Right now I have the idea to do these purascharanas until the body becomes old. So God and Guru, if it is your wish that this happens, give me the strength and determination to do this – no matter what happens in life. I will have to face numerous crises in life I know it - life is not a piece of cake I have seen (one has to face disease/suffering and death of beloved ones)-  but let the japa continue no matter what.

So here’s to a lifetime of purascharanas! If Durga, Hari and Guru are willing. And in this way I plan to honour my Guru’s command – obedience is better than reverence.

Hari Aum Tat Sat

Two worlds

Hari Om.

Was just reflecting on my day today- the feeling of living in two worlds. I get up in the morning, do a short session of japa (about 20 minutes), then start the usual stuff- breakfast, getting ready and driving to work. I keep a tiny 'altar' consisting of a minute Ganesh and a postcard size picture of my Guru and Krishna on my desk (in a hidden position where my patients can't see it) in my clinic room. In between patients, I repeat my mantra 1-5 times and make a note of this (to encourage me to keep up the habit). On finishing work, I drive back home, eat, bathe and after some chores, do some more japa. Additional stuff comes up from time to time, but that's my basic weekday routine.

I was just thinking I really do feel I live in two worlds. At home, I read the works of Gurus and feel I can more easily live in their thought world..."God is everywhere they say..."Look....a pot exists, a potter must therefore exist. Similarly the world exists- intricate and extraordinary- therefore an extraordinary Creator must exist- get to know Him/Her/That". So the Gurus say. And my heart says- Yes, I feel it....the world is amazing, the Creator must be amazing....I want to know, to experience this. These words of the Gurus from their books make me repeat my mantra with renewed enthusiasm.

But when I enter the outside world, I feel like a fish out of water. Taking the name of God here is an odd behaviour....thinking or talking of God in the outside 'mainstream' majority world is seen as an odd thing, so one has to keep quiet. No talk of God during my worldly day of seeing patients, doing chores etc. "How are you doing? Nice weather today- glad it's not too hot/raining!" Such is the mundane conversation that occurs outdoors.

The contrast between the materialistic and spiritual viewpoints is crazy and extreme. One side says it "the sun", the other says no it is "Surya dev"! One side says the rain is only an automatic process, the other says no it is a deliberate act of God! In this way, the materialists and spirtualists disagree on all worldly things that we experience daily.

The Gurus says the great light in the sky is not "the sun" but a living being full of Grace, a manifestation of the Supreme Light of God- "Surya dev" or "Surya Narayana".  In the Gita, Krishna says Surya is His manifestation. My heart says yes to these ideas/thoughts...I can accept them...Surya obviously nourishes the world, is life-sustaining- giving and sustaining life is a quality of God. (Surya can also take life away, this is also a quality of God).
But from childhood, I was taught to think of the sun as just a hot ball of matter, in which a complex nuclear reaction takes place- and taught to speak of this alone as "the sun"- an impersonal, lifeless, ball of matter.
Then when I discovered my Guru Sivananda, and learned that this is a manifestation of God, I feel like mentally bowing to this great light in the sky, and see it as "Suryadev" or "Narayana". It is not a dead ball of matter for me, it is a living being, the Grace of God working constantly to keep all life on earth alive.
But in day to day conversation, this divine light in the sky, has to be referred to as "the sun" not as "God" or Narayana. People would be worried if I said "God is shining bright in the sky today".

The sad thing is even many spiritual people would think it pretentious to speak of the sun as Surya, and materialists would just think one was mad. So with both groups mostly, one has to keep one's thoughts hidden, private, and speak in a way that is suitably materialistic and not related to God.
In the mainstream world, basically most of the time, I feel I have to hide my thoughts and speak as though there is no God at all, and that it is all lifeless matter.

The sun/Surya issue is just one example. There are so many things in the world that are extraordinary, exquisite, beautiful and worthy of admiration. But expressing awe and wonder at this, especially with reference to God, is not something that most people do or like to hear....mostly people just get on with one mechanical action after another.

So it is difficult for a spiritual aspirant like me trying to think constantly on God because of living in two worlds. The world of the materialists (the majority)who believe there is nothing but what the senses perceive- to them it is all lifeless matter. And the world of the spiritualists, the Gurus, who believe, everything, absolutely everything is God. (Sivananda used to prostrate mentally, sometimes physically, to the rivers, mountains, his toilet, animals everything- seeing God alone in these). There is no "sun" to them, only Krishna/Shiva/Durga/Brahman. There is no dead matter, all is living spirit. But there are very few such spiritual people today to hang out with.

I find it hard work to have to keep moving between these two worlds. I find it a struggle trying to maintain an inner spiritual outlook/viewpoint, while externally appearing to agree with the materialistic viewpoint and concealing my inner world (to avoid seeming pretentious/mad).

Sometimes I wish I lived in a world of Rishis....where everyone was either a spiritual teacher Rishi/Guru, or a spiritual student like me. In such a world, one would always talk of SuryaNarayana not of "the sun". When it rains, one would say "Krishna/God is sending quite a bit of rain down today!" (In the Gita, Krishna says He sends forth and holds back rain- an example showing that God runs the whole Universe).....instead of the usual "Oh it's raining again.....must be a weather front" (lifeless matter viewpoint). But there must be a good reason why God has sent me here...no doubt this is the right place to be (though it is hard work).

It is tiring to mentally try to maintain a different viewpoint from the mainstream. It is exhausting to keep reminding oneself, against the mainstream view, that no all is not dead matter- all is living Spirit. I feel the mantra helps....but even repeating the mantra in the outside world has to be a top secret....a secret from one's friends, one's family, one's boss, the shop assistant etc etc....because very few practice this and they would think one was bonkers (which would make dealing with them difficult!)....so spiritual life is lead in secret. It is not easy at all.

Anyway, enough talking. Am off to do some japa. Am home now after work, and Surya Narayana is sending gentle evening rays that touch my arm. It is a good feeling. :) Imagine rays of light leaving Surya and touching us here on Earth (Doh....not Earth! It's Mother Earth according to the yogis...the "Earth" is of course "Bhu devi" the Earth goddess). Wish my mind had been trained from childhood to call all things by their proper Sanskrit Divine names at least mentally. Anyway, better late than never (i.e. retraining the mind to think right).

Hari Aum Tat Sat.

Durga and the Devi Mahatmyam

 Hari Om,

Today is Tuesday and I just finished reading the English translation of the Devi Mahatmyam for the first time. For those unfamiliar with this, the Mahatmyam tells of the actions and glories of the Divine Mother. It is an important text for any devotee of the Goddess.

My book contains the original Sankrit verses with English translation of each chapter written by Swami Sivananda. I started reading it a while ago and then unfortunately got distracted by other things and stopped after a few chapters. I suddenly felt like reading the rest of it today.

 I can read Sanskrit (the Devanagari script) but am a beginner student of this language (doing an online course) so it takes me a while to learn to recite new slokas properly. I can read shorter prayers in Sankrit like the Aditya Hridayam and Narayana Suktam reasonably well but feel a bit daunted by the sheer length of the Devi Mahatyam. I would like to slowly learn to recite the whole thing in Sanskrit but this is a long-term project.

For now I read the Saptasloki Durga, a short summary of the entire Mahatmyam. And today, I read the remainder of the Mahatmyam in English. I read about Durga's battle with Dhoomralochana, Chanda, Munda, Raktabija, Shumbha and Nishumbha.

Gurudev Swami Sivananda tells the story very charmingly in English....including phrases like "the hosts of Asuras were nicely chewed between Kali's jaws". :)

I love the fact that Devi is described as more beautiful than the most beautiful, and more terrible than the most terrible. In other words, She is an absolute terror to evil in whatever form in exists. It is a relief to imagine that God can be dreadful to cure and punish evil.

One feels fear when one imagines the horrible evil things that go on on this planet of ours. The dreadful crimes one reads about in the news. Also one's own mind can be afflicted with foolish and ignorant thoughts- despite realising this, the thoughts will not easily go away.  Samskaras of thousands of lifetimes are not easy to defeat.

All these problems would make one feel utter despair at the futility of it all- were it not for the Power of God. It is such a relief to think that God's Power is so much more powerful than all the nasty things in our minds and in the world. It is so good to think that mere chanting of the Names destroys to ashes all this nasty stuff floating about in our consciousness and in that of others. That the Names bring peace and good fortune to all.

In the Mahatmyam, the Divine Mother promises that She will manifest whenever and wherever evil and adharma rear their ugly heads and destroy them. We really need Her presence here on earth today.

It was so interesting to read of Her various manifestations in the battle against the evil Asuras described in the Mahatmyam:
-Brahmani, the consort of Brahma, arrives on a Swan, and uses the water from Her kamandalu (water pot) to stun the baddies.
-Varahi, the counterpart/Power of Vishnu's avatar Varaha, is terrible with Her tusks.
-Narasimhi, the Shakti of Vishnu's avatar Narasimha, with terrifying teeth and claws wreaks utter havoc amongst the Asuras.
-Indrani, wife of Indra, is devastating with Her Vraja divine thunderbolt.
-Lakshmi, consort of Vishnu, arrives majestically on the divine eagle Garuda, with Her Discus, Conch and Mace and unleashes utter destruction amongst the Asuras
-Finally, Kali - an absolutely extraordinary form of the Divine Mother, frightens the Asuras simply by Her very appearance. Her actions prove to the Asuras that they were quite right to be frightened! Wearing a garland of Asura heads, with dreadful eyes and a lolling tongue, She consumes them like fire consumes a dry forest.
-In the midst of all this chaos, Durga or Ambika Herself is charming and playful- and destroys the Asura army almost like a little girl destroys her toys when she is tired of them. Incredible and awe-inspiring.

The symbolic meaning of this great battle is explained by Sivananda. This battle according to the yogis actually takes place in our minds.

The demi-gods represent our noble thoughts: kindness, humility, wisdom, self-control, selflessness, diligence, regularity, patience, faith, devotion, goodness, truthfulness, generosity, will-power, self-discipline, willingness to improve ourselves, ability to take good advice and many more.

The asuras of course represent the harmful thoughts in our minds (thoughts that harm us and others): such as pride, anger, greed, excessive cravings, selfishness, cruelty, falsehood, pretentiousness, stinginess, laziness, procrastination, heedlessless, doubt, poor self-esteem, being unneccesarily critical of others, self-centredness, narcissism, refusing to see our own faults and so on.

As spiritual aspirants, our initial task is to vanquish the asuras in our minds and estabilish the devas there so that we may then be fit to experience the Supreme God ever-present within us. But as in the stories, our devas or good thoughts are all too easily vanquished by our asuras or bad thoughts. Laziness overcomes hard work, pride overcomes humility, anger overcomes patience, critical nature overcomes love of others, falsehood overcomes truth....and so the tragedy continues. This is what is happens in us and is also taking place all over the planet today.

But things take a turn, when like in the stories, we go running to God for help. Many Vedic stories begin with the noble devas being miserably defeated by the powerful nasty Asuras. The devas realise their efforts have failed and invoke the Supreme God to come to their aid. Once the Supreme enters the picture, the Asuras' days are numbered. It is only a matter of time before they are all destroyed and the devas are once again restored to their rightful places.

If one does not recognise the Asuras and does not go running to God for help, then the Asuras take over our consciousness and wreak havoc. This is what we see everywhere today and is the root cause of all misery on our planet.

As spiritual aspirants we have no hope at all against the asuras within us without the help of the Divine. Calling the Divine is what we do when we do japa, puja, homam and other worship. We are asking God to come and remove the nasty undivine elements in our minds, and to establish the divine devas there.
This is in order to attain that Supreme God Him/Herself, whose nature is ineffable peace, wisdom and beauty.

So God is the goal and God is the way to that goal.

I personally feel utterly appalled when I see the thoughts that often appear in my mind. Anger, impatience, irritation, greed, cravings -all these and more awful thoughts and feelings assail me fairly regularly. I have noticed a small but significant improvement over the last ten years since I started doing sadhana, particularly the last three years when I have been doing sadhana regularly.

One improvement is that at least I have some awareness that I have a problem. Half of society (perhaps more) have no idea of the asuras they harbour in their minds. As I have at least some self-awareness, I feel a need to call upon God to help rid me of the asuras in my mind.

Here the thought of Durga cheerfully destroying all the Asuras brings me great relief. I feel that if I call Her, She is bound to nicely destroy all my asuras, and clean me up mentally. Despite all my failings, I feel confidence that all will be well. Because of one reason alone- the Name of God exists and is within my easy reach.

It is important to remember, we are not our thoughts. It is our duty to clean up our thoughts yes, but we are not them. We are not the good thoughts in our minds, and we are not the bad thoughts either. Our true nature is beyond the mind, beyond thoughts.

We are pure stainless consciousness and are ever one with the Divine. We are doing sadhana in order to recognise this- as the yogis say, to see this as plainly as one might see a fruit sitting in one's hand. Knowing that our true nature is pure and divine, no matter how disturbing our thoughts are, let us not feel despair, guilt or shame, but with hope and determination, valiantly continue the practice of calling the Name of God.

When we do this, all is well. Spiritually, I feel like an very small infant in very dirty diapers- not at all advanced. The dirt is the asuras in my mind. Is this just humility? Or is this the truth? It feels like it is the truth! Naturally therefore I need to call my Mother to help me out. And truly, I feel She listens when She is called. :)

Here is a nice rendition of the Sapta Sloki Durga by Anuradha Paudwal. This sloka is easy to recite even for a beginner. All days are good for recitation, especially Tuesdays and Fridays (days of Goddess as per Vedic Astrology).

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e7y0p8d3MHM

Om Dum Durgayai Namah.

Hari Aum Tat Sat