Reflections on sadhana to get a Darshan of God

Hari Aum

I was mulling over the subject of karma yoga again today. Karma yoga means the service of other living beings with the feeling that one is serving God. This is done without a feeling of pride, and with the feeling that one is able to serve due to the grace of God (all our faculties have their origin in God anyway).

Recently I re-read the book about a sadhu who left his million-dollar business to do arduous sadhana in the Himalayas (Om Swami- not the television showman). He was a serious sadhaka for many years even as a businessman. After making a lot of money at a young age (by about age 30), he became a monk to do sadhana to get a darshan (vision) of the Divine Mother, his ishta devata. 

He performed intense sadhana for about two years in the mountains, bearing severely cold weather and braving the elements while living in a forest. He did hours of meditation and worshipped the Goddess with mantra, yantra and tantra. After all this, he finally got what he was yearning for- darshan of the Divine Mother. He obtained the object of his desire- God.

I was reflecting upon the nature of my own sadhana today (as I do from time to time). I often ask myself "Am I doing my best?" "Am I doing enough?" "Is God satisfied with the sadhana I do?" Will He give me darshan one day?". 

I feel my life will have been in vain unless I attain whatever spiritual goal it is that God has put me here to attain. One has to become worthy to attain God's darshan. I ask God often to make me worthy. 

The word 'liberation' is confusing. It cannot be grasped by the mind as it is beyond the mind. Only God genuinely knows what liberation is. We use all sorts of words to describe it but don't really get it, words like Salokya mukti, Sarupya mukti, Savikalpa samadhi, Nirvikalpa samadhi, the list goes on. 

I tell God I have no idea what liberation is, but You know what liberation is, so please help me attain this (in accordance with Your own command in the form of various Gurus).

I hear the stories of yogis wearing the ochre robe, wandering in the mountains in solitude, braving the elements. Some do practices that are highly secret and appear exotic to the ordinary city yogi. They sit on special asanas, roll beads of special materials, utter secret mantras and perform hidden rituals. All this I hear of with wonder. 

And I ask God sometimes (mostly when I feel ignored by Him)- "Do you want me to don the ochre robe and wander in the Himalayas like these yogis?" If this is what You want, then feel free to motivate me to do it. But if You feel that simple sadhanas like karma yoga and japa yoga are equally pleasing to You, then don't ignore us karma-japa yogis! Please also give us your darshan, not just to the exotic yogis in the mountains.

I have not done any exotic, secret sadhana today like some Himalayan yogis do. But I have spent several hours in a clinic treating sick people whom I am convinced are a manifestation of God. I also spent a significant amount of time visiting a sick elderly patient at home today (as he was too unwell to come to the clinic) and provided treatment for him to make him better. This is part of my daily work. I feel fortunate that my patients seem to be satisfied with the care I provide - when they say “God bless you”, I feel that God is blessing me through them and feel strangely happy.

There are no exotic mantras in my sadhana, no yantras, no tantras. It is all very prosaic and ordinary. Very simple in fact. Just daily mantra japa and daily service of humanity. 

Sometimes, I ask myself, should I be doing more exotic sadhanas? Can God ever be satisfied with such ordinary, simple, normal sadhana done in a busy city environment, far away from the pristine Himalayas. 

I sometimes ask God- do You value this? Do You feel this is good enough? Is worshipping You in human form acceptable as a serious sadhana? Or do You want me to abandon medical work and become a yogi in solitude in the hills? Are You more satisfied with the impressive yogis in the Himalayas who brave the elements rather than with people like me who am doing such ordinary day-to-day work? Is twirling a japa mala made of special beads of greater importance than twirling the stethoscope and treating sick people? What sadhana do You want me to do?

But I also say to God-  mountain yogis may remember You by staying awake all night doing meditation, but I have also remembered You frequently during busy night shifts in hospital. Does my sadhana not count? Is my staying awake to serve You less pleasing than the yogis in the caves?

Also, mountain yogis may not eat for hours while in meditation. But I have also not eaten for several hours at a time while serving You during my busy 12 hour on-call shifts in hospital. Does this not count? Is it not pleasing to You when I put service before self?

I tell God- like the mountain yogis, I too have sacrificed sleep and food on many occasions in worship of You but in my own way. Does my sadhana not count?

The mountain yogi says he sees You everywhere in the mountains. I too try to see You everywhere in the city. Are You less present in the city compared with the mountains? How can this be when the yogis say that You are everywhere.

I tell God- do not spurn and ignore us karma yogis. We too should be regarded as Your worshippers. In the mundane city environment, our worship can be as intense and sincere as that of any yogi in the mountains.

And are You not the One about whom the yogis say:

“Mookam karoti vachalam, pangum langhayate girim. Yat kripa tam aham vande, Paramanandam Madhavam”.

I salute that blissful Madhava (Krishna), whose grace enables the lame to cross mountains and the mute to become eloquent.
This prayer invokes the great grace of God that makes unfavourable situations favourable and grants success. His grace can make the environment in a city as favourable as in the mountains. It comes down to what sadhana He wants from us individually.

And so I tell myself, I must follow my own path. I put faith in the words of my Guru who advises the combination of karma yoga and japa yoga for quick spiritual evolution.

Every one of us has a unique path to God. My path is that of karma yoga and japa yoga. I have somehow ended up acquiring knowledge of medicine. I feel I must put this knowledge to use, that it was given for a reason. I feel I cannot turn away, it is my duty to make my medical work into a spiritual practice as long as this feels right to me.

There are times when I watch documentaries about wandering sadhus and read books about yogis doing solitary meditation when I feel a yearning to be like them. At the same time, I strongly believe that I am serving God by serving my family and humanity as a whole though my home and work life. Deep inside I somehow believe that I am on the right path for me.

I firmly believe that sincerity is the key to success in pleasing God and attaining spiritual progress. I feel cleansed by serving humanity as a doctor and though my mantra purascharana practice. There is much more mental cleaning to do and so I must continue my sadhana.

We may not all be able to become wandering yogis. But it is possible to become sincere yogis even when living in cities. Every act that we do, can be done as a worship of God. My Guru advised this.

Each one of us is bound to come across others in need on a daily basis – everywhere there are people who are anxious, worried, depressed, need someone to talk to, physically sick, poor, lacking in food, lacking in medicine. We could serve these people in some way if we wanted to.

We look for powerful sadhanas. But I feel there is no more powerful sadhana than serving humanity as a manifestation of God.  There is a sea of humanity all around us, waiting to be served. It is not easy. But it is essential. So says my Guru.

Karma yoga is essential for the purification of the mind and heart. Spiritual truths can only be seen by a pure mind and clean heart- so say the yogis. I will conclude with a quotation from my Guru on this subject: 

Swami Sivananda says (see below for link to full article): 

“To stop the breath by means of Kumbhaka for two hours, to twirl the beads for twenty-four hours, to sit in Samadhi for forty days in an underground cellar without food by cutting the frenulum linguae of the tongue and practising Khechari Mudra, to stand up on one leg in the scorching heat of the summer sun, to do Trataka on the sun at midday, to chant Om, Om, Om in silent and sequestered jungles, to shed an ocean of tears while doing Sankirtan-all these are of no avail unless one combines burning love for Him in all beings and a fiery spirit of service in serving Him in all beings."

"Aspirants of the present-day are sadly lacking in these two indispensable qualifications. And that is the root cause why they do not make any headway at all in their meditation in solitude. They have not prepared the ground, I mean the Antahkarana, by protracted practice of love and service in the beginning."

"I have seen several Bhaktas in all my experiences of life in this line- Bhaktas who wear half a dozen rosaries around their necks and wrists, and mutter Hare Rama Hare Krishna day in and day out with a long Japa Mala in their hands. These Bhaktas will never approach a sick man even when he is in a dying condition and give him a drop of water or milk, and ask: "What do you want, brother? How can I serve you?" Out of curiosity they will be just looking at him from a distance. Can you call these people true Vaishnavites or Bhaktas?"

"Can there be an iota of real benefit in their meditation or Bhajan? A Jinda Narayana (living Narayana) in the form of a sick patient is in a dying state. They have not got the heart to go and serve him or even to speak a few kind and encouraging words at a critical juncture, when his life is trembling in the balance! How can they expect to have Darshan of that all-merciful Hari when they have hearts made of flint? How can they hope for God-realisation when they have not the eyes to see God in all beings and the spirit of service to serve Him in all these forms?”

http://sivanandaonline.org/public_html/?cmd=displaysection&section_id=636

Many of us complain that we have no time for sadhana. But this is not true. We just need to change our angle of vision as Sivananda says. Then the home becomes a place of tapas, of intense sadhana, not less than the cave of any mountain yogi. 

So let us have faith in the Gurus that 'Nara seva is Narayana seva' (service of humanity is service of God), and strive to do our daily work with this attitude. May we all become worthy of the darshan of God. 

Hari Aum Tat Sat