Wednesday, 24 February 2021

Being spiritual does not mean being a doormat

 Hari Aum.

This is a message for all readers committed to walking the spiritual path. We live in a world where many unspiritual qualities are valued and even encouraged. Some of these include being able to lie effectively without being caught, the ability to be loud and aggressive, push people down to lift oneself up, be deceptive/false, project false confidence and numerous other negative qualities.

We encounter individuals who value such qualities everywhere--within the family, within the workplace, in society everywhere.

This puts us in a bit of a dilemma. We do not want respond in the same negative way as these individuals as that would involve us abandoning our own path, which emphasises cultivation of the opposite spiritual qualities. So many of us respond by being kind, considerate in return, or even indifferent. This can sometimes give these negative individuals the impression that we are weak and unable to stand up to them-- such people often mistake kindness for weakness. Their negativity towards us can therefore increase further. 

Some people are particularly negative and being around them is harmful for our psychological and physical health (stress affects all parts of the body and mind). In the world of psychology, such extremely negative people (who rarely change), are known as 'toxic individuals'. Psychologists advise that the only option when dealing with such individuals is to set clear boundaries as to what is/is not acceptable, and if necessary, even walk away. This is not easy particularly when it comes to family. However, for many of us, there can come a time when this is the option to preserve our own health and sanity.

It is important to remember that there is a spectrum with regard to caring for the needs of ourselves and those of others. That spectrum involves three categories: selfishness, self-care and self-destruction. Selfishness involves only caring about our needs, without any consideration at all for the needs of others. Self-destruction involves only caring about others' needs without any consideration at all of even our basic needs (such as the right to have health and happiness, to have the freedom to live the way we like).

Self-care is the balanced approach. With this approach, we certainly give care to others. However we also respect our own right to health, and our right to live the way we feel is right for us-- including the spiritual life.

Selfishness and self-destruction are two extremes; these will prevent us from making spiritual progress and pull us down. However, self-care is the golden middle path. It recognises that while we must respect the needs of others, this does not mean allowing people to walk all over us. It recognises that we must be preserve our own health and wellbeing in order to be of any use to others. 

This is an important point that many doctors often make to patients. People who look after others (for example, children/elderly/disabled etc) who have many needs, often forget to take care of themselves. This can lead to their health breaking down. If our own health breaks down, we cannot look after anyone else. This applies to all of us. 

So let us remember-- preserving our own health and sanity is a sacred responsibility. This allows us to be the best we can we be, to give the best we can give to society and the world during our time on this planet. We were not born to be abused by other people, in any way, physically, emotionally/psychologically etc. 

By allowing negative, toxic people to remain in our close social circles, we harm ourselves and others who are close to us (e.g. our other family members) and close off our opportunities in life (as such people gradually wear down our self-esteem and make us feel incapable and dependent on them). Being spiritual does not mean being a doormat and allowing toxic people to walk all over us. If necessary, we should have the courage to walk away from such individuals before they harm us any further.

It is surprisingly difficult to recognise toxic people especially within our family circle as we get used to their behaviour. This does not make them any less harmful however. Yogis have a word that describes such people-- 'kusanga'. They strongly advise staying far away from kusanga individuals in order to live a contented and spiritually fulfilling life. And they strongly advise cultivating 'satsanga'--the company of people with good qualities who are committed to increasing the goodness within themselves.

I am including a useful psychology article related to this topic below as some of you may find this useful. The author is a psychotherapist who describes how to recognise toxic people and ways to deal with them. 

https://livewellwithsharonmartin.com/set-boundaries-toxic-people/

May God protect us all-- from toxicity inside and outside ourselves. May He give us the strength to walk the path of dharma and cultivate satsanga and avoid adharma and kusanga.

Om Namo Narayanaya.

Hari Aum Tat Sat

Saturday, 20 February 2021

Gita chapter 18- summary of yoga and the secret of success

 Hari Aum.

We are now going to study the final chapter of the Gita. It is one of the longer ones, and here, Krishna summarises the essence of all the paths of yoga. He teaches us the spiritual way to perform actions to free ourselves from the bonds of karma. He also tells us the meaning of spiritual knowledge. In addition, He reminds us that we must each perform our duties in life, based upon our own unique life circumstances. At the end of the chapter, He reveals the secret of success in yoga, the one thing that guarantees that we will succeed in the spiritual path.

The chapter begins with a request from Arjuna. He tells Krishna that he wants to know the essence of sannyasa (renunciation) and tyaga (letting go/giving up, usually applies to material objects).

Krishna responds by saying that there has been some debate about the meaning of true renunciation. Some people say that all actions should be abandoned, while others say they should not. He then tells Arjuna to listen to His final opinion on this subject.

He emphatically declares that three types of actions should never be given up. These are actions that involve:
1. Yajna or Sacrifice (i.e. worship of the Divine via homam/sacred fire rituals, and other means)
2. Dana or Giving to others (including things such as wealth, knowledge, food etc)
3. Tapas or Austerities (performing certain actions to gain control over the senses and the mind, e.g. fasting etc)

Why should these be done? He gives the answer.

He says these three should be done as they purify the person doing them, He says these are 'purifiers of the wise'.

However, Krishna then says that mere performance of these external actions is not enough. 

Note-- The internal attitude with which these actions are performed is very, very important. Without the correct inner mindset, the purification will not occur. Let us remember that it is the mind that requires purification (i.e. freedom from the lower nature involving pride, anger, desire, greed, jealousy and delusion). Therefore, naturally the correct mental attitude is everything, vitally important for these external actions to help us grow spirtually.

So, with what attitude should we perform these three types of purifying actions? 

Krishna says, we should perform these actions with two important inner attitudes:
1. No attachment (i.e. neither liking/disliking the action)
2. No craving, no desire, for a specific result of the action (e.g. achievement of wealth, name, fame etc)

He then says that people who give up their duties because they do not want to make the effort are rajasic, and those who give these up out of foolishness are tamasic. Neither of these two attitudes will lead to spiritual progress. 

He says that a person who performs necessary actions (such as the three types previously discussed), simply because it is the right thing to do, without any attachment to the action, nor any craving for the result, has a sattvic mindset. This mindset leads to spiritual progress. This sattvic method of performing actions, He says, is true sannyasa, true renunciation.

He then declares that people who perform actions with this sattvic attitude, are not subject to the law of karma; they break the bonds of karma, and thus get liberated from samsara (the cycle of birth and death). 

In contrast, the rajasic and tamasic types of people are bound by their karmas, both good and bad (and have to be reborn to experience these; they continue in samsara).

After discussing the secret of breaking the bonds of karma through the performance of proper actions with the correct mindset, Krishna now turns to another important topic. The topic of true knowledge.

He says that people who understand that there is One Being (God) pervading everywhere, in all beings and things, are wise. Their intelligence is sattvic. 

However, those who believe there are many different beings and things separate from each other, they are rajasic.

And those who cling to a single thing as if it alone is everything, that delusional attitude, He says is tamasic.

Krishna then gives a further explanation of the qualities of sattvic, rajasic and tamasic people.

He says that:

1. Sattvic people:
-do their duties without attachment or desire for reward
-do their duties with enthusiasm and firmness
-are unaffected by success or failure, they have mental balance
-have an intelligence that can distinguish correctly between dharma (goodness, duty) and adharma (what is wrong, what should not be done). They have a proper understanding of bondage and liberation and what should and should not be feared.
-have the capacity to control their senses and their minds
-accept some suffering (in the performance of spiritual practices etc) initially in order to experience the lasting bliss of Self-realisation. Krishna says they experience poison (suffering) initially, and later nectar (spiritual bliss).

2. Rajasic people:
-do their duties with a desire for rewards such as name, fame, wealth etc. 
-are egoistic, proud, cruel and mentally impure
-are affected by joys and sorrows (when they get/do not get what they want); lack mental balance
-put a lot of effort into trying to satisfy selfish desires
-cannot understand the difference between dharma and adharma
-indulge in sensual pleasures which are initially like nectar but later like poison (as they lead to suffering in samsara)

3. Tamasic people:
-perform actions without any understanding as to whether or not these are right or wrong, or whether they even have the capacity to perform them, or whether they will cause harm.
-are of unsteady mind, false, malicious/want to harm others, vulgar, lazy, procrastinating, gloomy and stubborn
-think that adharma is dharma; have a completely warped mind that thinks that wrong actions are right
-like pleasures related to sleep, laziness and carelessness, which are delusional in the beginning and in the end

Krishna declares that all of creation, all beings, whether godly, human or ungodly, contain these three qualities of nature, namely, sattva, rajas and tamas (the godly will be more sattvic, the ungodly will be more rajasic/tamasic. Humans of course fall somewhere in between).

After Krishna describes people based on sattva, rajas and tamas, He describes them in another way-- as brahmins, kshyatriyas, vaishayas and shudras. (In the Bhagavatam, in the Uddhava Gita, a much more detailed description is given. He states that people are categorised into these four types based on their nature-- not on their birth as misguided elements in Indian society have thought over the centuries. He says all four groups are 'noble' and His devotees provided they perform their duties with a sattvic attitude).

Krishna describes people who nature is:

-Tending towards the acquisition of wisdom, as brahmins. He says such people have a duty to practice self-restraint, forgiveness, austerity, purity and peacefulness.

-Tending towards performance of actions are kshatriyas. He says their duty is to be generous, courageous (protect those who require protection), be strong and be rulers.

-Tending towards the acquisition of wealth are vaishyas. He states their duties include cultivation of food (agriculture), trade and business.

-Tending to serve others (rather than lead them) are shudras. Their duty is to serve in whatever capacity they are able.

All four classes described above, Krishna says, can attain liberation by performing their duties based on their own nature and life circumstances. He emphasises the importance of performing one's duties (and not running away from them).

Krishna then outlines the key features of people fit to attain realisation. He says that such people are:
-calm, peaceful
-undisturbed by life events whether joyful or sorrowful
-free of negative qualities such as pride, anger, greed and cravings
-with pure intellect
-able to control their mind and senses
-live in solitude 
-always engaged in concentration and meditation
-disinterested in worldly acquisitions, have detachment 

Upon attaining the Supreme Brahman, Himself, Krishna says that beings are:
-serene, being established in the Supreme
-the same to all beings 
-free of grief and desire
-filled with supreme devotion to Him

The role of devotion to the Supreme:

Krishna then says that it is by devotion that one is able to know Him in full, and having known Him, one enters into the Supreme (i.e. realises one's one-ness with the Supreme).

The role of His Grace:

Krishna states that when the devotee does all actions while taking refuge in Him, His grace upon the devotee allows him/her to obtain the eternal, indestructible abode (the state of liberation).

He states that the Lord resides in the hearts of all beings and causes beings to move 'as if mounted upon a machine', i.e. it is by His will alone that everything happens.

He then gives two final extremely important pieces of advice, as follows:

1. "Manmanaa bhava madbhakto, madyaaji maam namaskuru;
Maamevaishyasi satyam te pratijaane priyosi me"

Meaning:

"Fix thy mind on Me, be devoted to Me, sacrifice to Me, bow down to Me. Thou shalt come even to Me; truly do I promise unto thee, (for) thou art dear to Me."

2. "Sarvadharmaan parityajya maamekam sharanam vraja;
Aham twaa sarvapaapebhyo mokshayishyaami maa shuchah."

Meaning:

Abandoning all duties, take refuge in Me alone; I will liberate thee from all sins; grieve not.

The chapter then concludes with a declaration by Sanjaya (an attendant of King Dritharashtra), who has heard this sacred conversation between Krishna and Arjuna (as a result of a special blessing). 

This sloka is also known as the 'eka-sloki Gita'-- the essence of the Gita in one sloka (spiritual merit is said to accrue to one who recites it).

Sanjaya says:

"Yatra yogeshwarah Krishno, yatra Partho dhanurdharah;
Tatra shreervijayo bhootir-dhruva neetirmatirmama."

Meaning:

"Wherever there is Krishna, the Lord of Yoga, wherever there is Arjuna, the archer, there are prosperity, happiness, victory and firm policy; such is my conviction."


Conclusion:

So we have now studied the eighteen chapters of the Gita. Krishna has told us of the different paths of yoga-- wisdom, action, devotion and meditation-- and we need to apply these to our own lives in order to attain the spiritual goal. 

His final advice: "Seek refuge in Me, I will liberate you, grieve not" is a promise that many Gurus refer to. We need to wholeheartedly seek God (in any form that we are drawn to) and it is His assurance to us, that He will protect and deliver us from suffering and grant us spiritual peace and bliss. This is the secret of success in spiritual life.

Om Namo Bhagavate Vasudevaya.
Om Krishnam Vande Jagadgurum.
Salutations to Lord Krishna, the world teacher.

Hari Aum Tat Sat.

Tuesday, 2 February 2021

Dreams as an aid on the spiritual path

 Hari Aum.

Dreaming is an experience that many of us go through every night when we sleep (whether or not we remember). My Guru, Sivananda, has written an entire book on the subject and I had discussed this in a previous post (Feb 2018).

I'm writing this post to say that, even as spiritual beginners, our dreams can give us indications of whether things are going well or less well in our lives. Many dreams are based on our real life experiences. However, some dreams occur to encourage and help us on the spiritual path, or to warn us of difficult times ahead. Occasionally, we may have dreams that predict what is just about to happen in our lives, or dreams of things that may have happened before this lifetime. As a spiritual beginner, I have had experience of these types of dreams.

Dreams can be a form of communication between Ishwara/God and us. When we are going through a difficult time, God may appear in our dream to give us encouragement and hope. This has happened with many spiritual seekers including myself and is always a wonderful experience. The dreams that I have had have been of various forms of God (Krishna, Vishnu, Shiva, Kali, Devi) and saints (Sivananda, Chidananda, Aurobindo, Ammachi, Dalai Lama). Sometimes they have contained messages relevant to my life in the waking state; while at other times, they have felt like an encouragement to keep going on the spiritual path (for example, when I have been going through a challenging time). 

I have been doing daily japa without a break since November 2011 (i.e. around nine years), and can say that the frequency of this type of spiritual dream has certainly increased with time. The interesting thing is that I am still very much a beginner on the spiritual path and have some way to go before attainment of mental purification and the spiritual goal. So, based on my experience, encouraging spiritual dreams can occur even in spiritual beginners (not only in advanced yogis).

It is therefore worth keeping a diary of unusual dreams, particularly those of God, saints, mantras, and also disturbing dreams, and reflect upon whether there may be any meaning to them. In Sivananda's book on dreams, there is a section at the end on the interpretation of dream symbols which I have found very useful. This is a link to the book (see below):

https://www.dlshq.org/download/dream.htm

I hope the first month of the new year has treated you well. I wish you the best for your spiritual practice in the coming months. May these challenging times during the pandemic enable us to learn lessons for quick spiritual progress.

Om Namo Narayanaya.

Hari Aum Tat Sat