Hari Aum.
The inner battle within the spiritual seeker is a lifelong journey which only ends when one attains God-realisation, i.e. recognises one's true eternal nature as one with God.
Until then, there is a constant struggle between the two aspects of human nature-- the divine and the undivine. The divine thoughts within us are our inner 'devas' (demi-gods). The undivine are the inner asuras (demons). The cosmic battle between the devas and asuras that the Puranas (spiritual scriptures) describe occurs within the human mind too. This battle occurs everywhere in the material universe, on a micro level (within people's minds, hearts and homes) and on a macro level (between countries).
As one walks the spiritual path, this battle only intensifies. As the higher mind grows stronger by developing a connection with God and Guru, the lower mind grows more rebellious; it wants to resist this submission to God.
I thought I would write a short play on this battle, as a conversation between the higher and lower mind. It may seem a bit light-hearted, but at its core, there is a serious message. This battle is very real. It is taking place, on some level, in every one of us, in every spiritual seeker.
When it goes wrong, when the higher mind gives up, and the lower mind wins, the spiritual seeker loses much, and suffers greatly. When the higher mind wins, the seeker experiences true joy, peace and bliss, which comes from closeness to God. But as we will see, the higher mind can only work by also taking into account the existence of the lower mind. We need to accept all aspects of our being as we walk the spiritual path.
So, let us begin. Let us imagine a conversation between the higher and lower mind.
Higher mind: sitting quietly doing some mantra recitation.
Lower mind: (bored, aimlessly wandering about). Looks at the higher mind. Gets frustrated with it and then says "Hey, we need to talk."
Higher mind: "Ok, but not just now. I'm doing some mantra recitation/japa. I need to finish another 20 minutes and then we can talk".
Lower mind: "No! It needs to be right now! 20 minutes is too long!".
Higher mind: "Ok. Let me just finish this mala. I need another 5 minutes."
Lower mind (rolls eyes): "Ok then. Hurry up".
Higher mind: completes the mantra recitation and then says "Ok, what's up?"
Lower mind: "What's up?! Are you kidding me? Everything is so difficult and you are saying 'What's up?'. There needs to be some serious change around here. I'm not happy."
Higher mind: "What's the trouble?"
Lower mind: "What's the trouble?! I'll tell you what's the trouble! The trouble is, there's too much discipline around here. Not enough fun. What the world regards fun, I mean. Not your 'fun'-- your japa and kirtan. That is so boring".
Higher mind: "I'm sorry you don't find japa and kirtan fun. It is actually quite nice once you really get into it".
Lower mind: "Yes, well, it's not my style, ok? I need to have more normal fun. I'm talking about that phrase your Guru disapproves of; you know, the 'eat, drink and be merry' lifestyle. That's what I want. I'm tired of all this self-control and discipline business. It's getting us nowhere. You said there would be bliss and peace on this path. Well, where is it? Nowhere, that's where. All we are getting is trouble-- illness, meeting difficult people, that's it. I've had enough, I tell you!"
Higher mind: "Well, this is just part of the process. Before spiritual bliss can be experienced, there needs to be a thorough cleansing of the mind and purgation of past negative karmas. All this difficult stuff we are going through is part of the spiritual journey; every spiritual seeker has to go through this."
Lower mind: "All I can say is that I'm really fed up. We've been on this path for nearly twenty years-- that's when you first started talking about this spiritual nonsense and dabbling in meditation and suchlike. It's been a long time and I've put up with it so far. But I think the time has come for a change of scene. We need to be more normal, live a regular life. Eat what we like, drink what we like, have fun the way everybody else does. Stop thinking about spirituality and God all the time. That is really tedious."
Higher mind: "True peace and happiness are found only in God. You know that. You can see the world around you. The suffering, the challenges. As Sivananda says, one portion of joy is mixed with several portions of sorrow in this world. Nothing lasts here. Everything fades away. Death takes away everything here. There is an immortal realm though, the place where we truly belong. We are on our way there. It's a state of consicousness that can be achieved through the practice of spiritual disciplines and yogic ethics."
Lower mind: (frustrated) "Why are you always so gloomy and depressing? Why do you always talk about disease and death? What is the matter with you! Cheer up, for heaven's sake! Sure, death exists. We've all got to die one day. So what? Let's just enjoy the pleasures of life while we can. Forget all this talk of death and immortality-- it is all nonsense. Not worth thinking about."
Higher mind: "It's the only thing worth thinking about in truth. As I said, everything fades away. If we don't pay attention and live well, we will leave here with huge feelings of regret, that we did not make the most of life."
Lower mind: "There you go again! What a killjoy you are. No fun whatsoever. You and your Guru are seriously over-the-top. Constantly talking about the problems in life. Why can't you just enjoy the good stuff around here? On that note, I want to suggest some major changes in our mode of living."
Higher mind: (uneasily) "Really? What changes do you want to see?"
Lower mind: "I want to see a lot of changes. Basically, I want to be normal. I want to stop living according to these yogic ethics for a start. Ahimsa, Satya and Brahmacharya! What the heck is that about? Complete waste of time. I want to lose my temper when I feel like and show people who's boss. I'm tired of trying to be polite and forgiving all the time. I don't want to be that way anymore!"
"Also, I'm seriously sick of this Satya (truthfulness) nonsense. What's wrong with a few white lies occasionally? What's wrong with telling a few bigger lies on occasion too? Lies can be really useful you know!"
"And this 'brahmacharya' or self-control stuff is really rubbish too. I want to have fun-- eat whatever I please, drink whatever I please and hang out with whoever I please. I want to start eating meat again. We've been vegetarian for nearly two decades. Waaaay too long! Time for a change. I want fish for dinner--I miss fish, used to find it really tasty."
Higher mind: (quietly) "You know we can't give up the yogic vows. They form the very basis of happiness, here and hereafter. They are in accordance with the law of karma, the law of God. They are based on dharma or righteousness-- and without dharma, there is no happiness. That is the divine law. We have to live by the laws of God, of the universe, we cannot make up our own laws and expect to be happy. That just won't work".
Lower mind: (dismissively) "Karma, sharma, what nonsense. What God, where God? Where is God? Look at all the misery around us! He made this world, it's His fault it's such a mess. Don't talk to me about God!"
Higher mind: "I'm really sorry. We just cannot give up those vows. They are absolutely essential. We'll be destroyed without them. I'm willing to compromise on some other stuff though. How about you eat some more sweets? We've been a bit tough on that lately."
Lower mind: (angrily) "Sweets! You think you can bribe me with a few sweets! I'm not that stupid. I'm not going to be fooled so easily. Sweets is just a part of it, I want all the changes I just mentioned. I want a complete revolution, a massive change in lifestyle. Do you get it?"
Higher mind: (calmly) "No. That is not going to happen."
Lower mind: (furiously) "No? No? Who do you think are? You act like you're the boss around here, the way you think you can call all the shots. Well, let me tell you, you're not my boss, and I'm not having it anymore. I want to eat fish and other types of meat-- I don't care if animals suffer. I want to eat and drink what I like-- I'm not interested in the effects of diet on meditation, that's nothing to do with me. And most of all, I don't care about your God and Gurus and their laws of karma and dharma. All that means nothing to me. Nothing! I want to live life on my terms, not theirs!"
Higher mind: (breathing deeply and trying to stay calm) "Listen, I know this is hard. Living a human life on this planet today can feel really hard. There's a lot to deal with. I get that. Everyone including us has their own troubles. Dealing with our issues and the issues of people around us can be tough. It's hard work. I know none of this is easy."
Lower mind: (bursting into tears) "Yes, it's not easy. Not easy at all."
(Sniffling and dabbing nose) "You think you're so wise. You say you're after God. And in the process, you act as if I'm the enemy, and you neglect me, you behave as if you want to destroy me. But what right do you have? Who said you're allowed to do that?"
"Do you not know what your precious Puranas say about me? They say that the God you worship is the origin of everything-- everything including me. If you read the description of the Virat Purusha (cosmic form) of Narayana (in the Bhagavatam), you will find all aspects of me included-- desire, anger, pride and all. That's right, I come from God too, just like you and everything else does. You have no business to crush me. God created me just like He created you. It is up to Him alone as to what happens with me. If you try to crush me, I will destroy you."
(Looking dangerous) "Many spiritual seekers have fallen down, very very low, due to the power of the lower mind. You know that don't you? You've seen and heard about this. People falling off the spiritual path, giving up all spiritual practices. Swamis breaking vows of sannyasa (renunciation) and mistreating disciples, householders neglecting their duties and performing undivine actions-- all this is due to the power of us lower minds. I too can do all this and much more. I have my own power-- given by God, given by His aspect called 'Maya'. I know what I am, I too have been created by God for a purpose. If you do not respect my right to exist, I can become very nasty indeed. You won't like that, believe me!".
Higher mind: (swallowing nervously) "Listen, I hear you. Don't get extreme. I'm sorry if I've been harsh on you. I was just trying to do the best for us both. As you rightly say, God is the origin of both of us. I was just trying to get us both back to our origin as I know that is where we will find lasting happiness. I know we both have the same goal-- to be happy".
Lower mind: "Yes, but you've been too extreme. I don't get to do enough of the stuff that I like, and this has been getting worse with time. I want to have a more regular life-- watch some regular, non-spiritual movies, listen to regular music (not kirtan/bhajan all the time!), have a more fun diet (stop policing me constantly!). If you let me have more fun, I'll let you do your dull stuff that you claim will bring us lasting happiness....mantra japa, kirtan, whatever. But your stuff needs to be in moderation too, just like my fun!"
Higher mind: (feeling some relief) "Ok, I'm sorry if I've been extreme. I really am. You're not my enemy, and I'm not your enemy. We're friends. We both want happiness. And happiness is God. I'll do the work to get us there, all you need to do is let me do it. And you're right, you do deserve to have your version of fun sometimes. How about we go for a 'regular' non-spiritual movie sometime? And ok, you can have some more sweets, I'll try not to police you so much."
Lower mind: (dabbing nose, and looking at higher mind out of the corner of the eye) "How about some fish for dinner? Oily fish is good for the heart you know, that's what science says!"
Higher mind: "Now don't push your luck too far-- no fish! Ahimsa is vital, we cannot support the killing of other living beings, that is not an option. There's no compromise on the commitment to yogic ethics, we won't get any happiness without them. I've agreed to some more sweets, and a movie. That's it for now. We can do more stuff as we go along. And I'm being really moderate with the mantra japa now-- doing a very modest amount, along with a little kirtan now and then. I hope that is ok?"
Lower mind: (sighing) "I guess so. This spiritual business is really very dull. Such a long boring road. But it's true that this world is no piece of cake either. Look at it-- pandemics, economic crises, wars, lunatic politicians. No fun at all. I suppose you're right to look for more lasting happiness elsewhere, in God or wherever."
Higher mind: (smiling) "I'm glad you agree with me that this world is no piece of cake. And yes, we will find happiness in the One who made us both. Thank you for agreeing to let me continue the mantra japa and spiritual practices-- I really appreciate it. It will be worth it, I promise".
Lower mind: (rolling eyes again) "Yes, whatever. Finish your mantra japa quickly, I can't wait to get hold of some of those chocolate biscuits sitting in the kitchen!"
Higher mind: (also rolling eyes) "Ok, ok. Just be quiet for a bit and I'll get it done! Sheesh."
Lower mind: (smiling, thinking about the chocolate) "Ok, I'll be quiet for a little while!"
End of play!
As we walk the spiritual path, it is important to take along all parts of our being-- the higher and the lower. It is common for spiritual practitioners to see the lower mind as the enemy, to try to crush it. This has unfortunate results. After being crushed for a long time, it recoils like a snake and can bite one viciously. Over the years, I have met people who have walked the spiritual path for a while and then broken important vows that they took as they could not bear it any more. It is necessary to be patient and gentle with ourselves as we go through the many experiences and challenges of life, including spiritual life.
The spiritual journey is a long one with many surprises, both 'good' and 'bad'. It takes tremendous patience to keep walking this path, and we need the help of all aspects of our being, both the higher and the lower mind, to whatever extent possible. And, as long as we do the mantra practice every single day, come hell or highwater, we will make steady progress on the spiritual path, as we will remain in touch with God, the One who is the origin of all aspects of our existence.
Om Namo Narayanaya.
Hari Aum Tat Sat.
