Dance, music and deities

 Hari Aum.

Of the many spiritual paths that exist in the world, the yogic tradition gives devotional music and dance a very special place. 

In the Srimad Bhagavatam, the well-known scripture praising Narayana, the great sage, Shuka, famously said to King Parikshit:

"Kaler dosha nidhe Rajan, asti hyeko mahan gunah, 

Kirtanadeva Krishnasya muktah sangah param vrajet"

Meaning:

"The age of quarrels (the present one that we live in) is indeed an ocean of wrongs (defects) O King, 

However, it has one supreme virtue (or benefit), which is that the mere singing of the names of Krishna, grants one the supreme destination (spiritual wisdom/liberation).

It is for this reason that virtually every yoga tradition of ancient and modern times adores devotional music, particularly singing the names of God.

One can sing the names without any musical instrument and without any accompanying dance. That is perfectly effective for spiritual seekers-- the key of course is devotion. One can sing in any way one pleases in order to connect with God; there are no rules or restrictions at all.

However, the ancient sages of the yogic tradition also taught a specific type of music and dance to their disciples to help them develop and express their devotion to God. Just like there are ancient teachings and books on yogic philosophy (Upanishads, Puranas and so on), architecture (Vastu) and medicine (Ayurveda), there are ancient teachings on music and dance.

It is said that God Himself is the Lord of music and dance. Hence the reason why Shiva is famously known as 'Nataraja', the King of dance. Similarly Krishna is known as Murali dhara, or one who holds the flute. And He also is known for being a lover of dance (including in the famous Lila with the gopis of Vrindavana). Similarly Sarasvati is known as Veenavani, the Goddess who plays the beautiful veena. She is known as Kaladhara, the patron of the arts, and is regarded as one who excels in music and dance.

Music, as we all know, has great power over the human mind. An unpleasant, harsh, grating sound immediately sets our nerves on edge; we feel distressed, upset and feel we need to get away as soon as possible. In contrast, a melodious, sweet, charming sound, be it a voice or an instrument, is pleasing to the ear. We want to hear more. Music powerfully influences our emotions. It can generate happiness, sadness, fear, energy, relaxation and so on. Within moments of starting to listen to a particular type of music, many of us begin to feel different-- our mood reflects the emotion expressed by the sounds we hear.

Dance also plays a key role in yoga and devotion. Just as the human voice can be used to express devotion to God (by chanting, singing and so on), the movements of the human body can also do the same.

This is, in fact, the basis of most of the famous classical dance traditions of India. These dance forms are thought to be thousands of years old, and a number of them are said to have originated from the teachings of a sage known as Bharata muni. His teachings are known today as 'Natya shastra', the art and science of music (including singing and playing of instruments) and devotional dance.

Over time, the music and dance of the Natya shastra evolved and there are numerous, beautiful and elaborate musical traditions in India. One way of categorising the musical traditions of India is Hindustani (North Indian) and Carnatic (South Indian). In terms of dance forms, there are some well-known ones, including Kathak, Kuchupudi, Bharatanatyam, Mohini Attam and Orissi. All of these traditions of music and dance require several years of rigorous training and practice with a suitable guru. They require a high level of physical fitness and mental discipline. And traditionally, these dances have been performed in temples all over India as a sacred art, a form of dance designed to please the Divine.

In these dance traditions, the dancer often performs to the accompaniment of vocal and instrumental music. As the singer sings a devotional song (often narrating a story about, or praising, the Divine in various forms such as Shiva, Narayana or the Goddess), the dancer attempts to bring the words being sung to life. She/he moves face, hands and body to convey the meaning of the song to the audience and to portray the emotions being sung about. Just as music can transport the audience into a different divine world, so also, the dancer attempts to bring the Divine to life before our eyes and transport us there too. 

Many children in India take up classical music and dance when they are young (around age 5-6) and study these for varying lengths of time. Due to Indian society placing a significant emphasis on the importance of good academic performance, music and dance unfortunately tend to be abandoned at some stage or another. When I was growing up in India, I recall a mathematics teacher telling the entire class, as we approached the first major set of examinations aged around 15, that we must now give up all hobbies and interests and apply our minds exclusively to our studies and academic performance. There was no time, she said, for things such as music and dance, if we wanted to excel in our studies. There may have been some truth in her words  but it does sound a bit extreme.

I grew up in a family of professionals who were all very focussed on academic performance and therefore, music and dance were regarded as a nice hobby, but not something to be taken too seriously.  I therefore learnt Carnatic vocal music and Bharatanatyam dance for a few years as a child/teenager, but then stopped these as I grew older and had to focus more on my studies. I remember enjoying this music/dance greatly and fragments of what I learnt stayed with me for years long after I abandoned my formal learning of these subjects.

Anyway, a couple of years ago, during the pandemic, I decided to take up formal learning of classical vocal (Carnatic) music once again (via online lessons due to restrictions on social mixing!). I found this did wonders for my sanity during lockdowns and the strange times that we were living in. And, I feel that there is a special joy in singing the devotional songs composed by the great poet-saints of this tradition (Purandara dasa, Thyagaraja and others) now that I have developed an interest in spirituality (which I did not have when I learned some of this material as a child). 

The same applies to dance. As I approach the next decade of my life (turning forty years of age this month!), I thought I really must do some form of regular exercise that is also enjoyable (I find going to the gym rather dull and brisk walking is ok but really not much fun when it's cold and rainy as it often is in winter). Over the years, whenever I've watched a dancer performing Bharatanatyam, I have wished that I had never given it up. I find it so sublime, so very beautiful.  

A few weeks ago, I saw a Bharatanatyam performance at a local cultural centre of Indian dance and music and found it amazing as always. Afterwards, I thought, may be this is just what I need to ensure some fitness for the next decade! There are a number of 'mature students' of this subject today so I thought I might not be the only one looking to learn this at my stage in life. I therefore approached a few local teachers (all of whom reassured me that they do indeed have students of my age!) and have been accepted by one Bharatanatyam guru as her disciple! 

So, I now have a weekly class and 'dance homework' along with my Carnatic vocal class and 'singing homework'. My three year old looks at me with some bemusement as I sing and dance around the house (my teachers tell me she is very likely to absorb at least some of this by mere observation and listening. I hope to introduce her to these subjects when she is a little older in case she enjoys them and wants to take up formal learning).

When I attend my dance teacher's home for my weekly class, I find myself standing facing a large brass statue of Lord Shiva dancing-- in His form as Nataraja. True to the devotional tradition, my lesson begins with an invocation to the Divine, with seeking the blessings of the Goddess (in the form of the Earth, upon whom we dance). And as I tap my feet and move to the rhythm being played by my teacher, I feel that I am dancing in front of Shiva, dancing for Shiva. It is actually quite a nice, devotional feeling! (It is again quite different to when I learnt the subject as a child without any special spirtual interest; the dancing means more to me now that it did at that time).

My teacher also tells me that the practice of yoga is a valuable aid in dancing. This form of dance requires a fairly high level of general fitness but also flexibility to perform it well (particularly in the more advanced stages). As a beginner, taking this up after a break of decades, I am going slow and steady. This has inspired me to take up a bit of yoga again (despite training as a yoga teacher years ago, I've been a bit sporadic with my practice in recent years). So, as I approach the next decade, (God-willing) I'm hoping that music, dance and yoga will have an important place in my life once again.

I would highly recommend these subjects to anyone with an interest (particularly if you are a 'mature student' who would like to try but are just a bit shy!). My teachers tell me there is no upper limit to the age when one can learn (as long as one is reasonably physically healthy of course). The oldest student of my dance teacher was actually in her 60s when she began and she went all the way to a very advanced level-- I therefore feel there may be some hope for me! I'm not aiming to be an advanced professional of course, but I would love to develop enough skill to be able to perform to a decent level particularly to some of the lovely devotional songs that are my favourites.

So, with that message to consider taking up music and dancing too (if you are so minded), I will leave you with some links highlighting the beauty of Bharatanatyam (please see below). (There are many beautiful examples online; I just happened to like these).

The first link (below) highlights what I was saying earlier about the dancers portraying a divine story. The singer is singing a famous classical song by a poet-saint about the glorious wedding of Lord Rama to Goddess Sita. The dancers (who are sisters) are enacting the song. 

One dancer acts as Rama, and the other as Sita. You see them exchanging flower garlands, walking around the sacred fire, Rama placing the wedding necklace around the neck of Sita, them showing each other a mirror (some of the classical wedding rituals) and so on. The dance beautifully expresses the love between Sita and Rama, and their beauty and glory.

As you watch, you might feel that you can see, in your mind's eye, the actual wedding of Rama and Sita. And if you do, well then you are effectively meditating on God in this form (thinking about God is a form of meditation, whether you do it with eyes open or closed, while looking at a picture or at a dancer).

Dance in praise of Sita and Rama:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tu_o0UvLNwQ

This link (below) is a playful performance by a talented group of young dancers. They are mainly displaying some of the classical dance moves and techniques of this tradition (rather than portraying an elaborate divine Lila though they praise Lord Shiva as Nataraja). 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3tKUvf1AIYM

The final link (below) is a famous classical song (Swagatham Krishna) in praise of Lord Krishna, describing His divine nature and qualities:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jeyqnsw5Ubc

Om Natarajaya Namah. Om salutations to the Cosmic Dancer.

Om Namo Narayanaya.

Hari Aum Tat Sat.

P.S. Just want to add three more favourite Bharatanatyam performances that are very beautiful:

1. In praise of Goddess Durga, a dance set to the great hymn composed by Adi Shankaracharya known as the Mahishasura Mardini (She who slays our inner demons and gets rid of the outer ones too):

Om Sri Durgayai Namah

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jSsJBZJMfFQ

2. In praise of Goddess Sarasvati, patron of the arts:

Om Sri Sarasvatyai Namah

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P2qmRc1YEU0

3. In praise of Lord Shiva:

Om Namah Shivaya

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JWhA3ldZcyY

Hari Aum Tat Sat

Spiritual fall and spiritual vigilance

 Hari Aum.

This post is about a topic which is not exactly a pleasant one but it is important. It lies at the very heart of spiritual life. It can make the difference between spirtual progress and a spiritual downfall. It is something that we all need to think about right from the very beginning of our spiritual lives until the spiritual goal is attained. That something, is the inner darkness which exists along with our inner light.

I've been planning to go and watch a movie as it's been a while and so, a few days ago, I decided to check out the website of the local cinema. As I skimmed past the various pages providing information on the films that are currently being shown, a picture advertising one of them suddenly caught my eye. It was a picture of a nun. 

I stopped to take a closer look wondering what it was about (aside from regular movies, I like watching movies about religious figures including those about the lives of inspiring nuns and monks). As I looked at the title, I was dismayed to see that it was not a religious movie but quite the opposite-- it belonged to that most revolting of film categories known as horror films. I had the misfortune of being told some horror stories as a child and was deeply disturbed by them. They seem to glorify the power of that which opposes God and I have therefore never watched these sorts of movies and have no plans to ever do so. 

As I looked at the picture of the nun who was standing with her eyes closed, I noticed her melancholy expression and tears of blood trickling down one of her cheeks. It was an awful sight. The title of the movie was even more dreadful-- I honestly do not even feel comfortable repeating it here, but it basically indicated that this woman was the target of very negative energies that are opposed to God.

After realising that this was no godly film, I rapidly clicked another page to move away from the picture as fast as possible. I wanted to forget that face, that expression that seemed so tortured. But the strange thing is that the memory of her face stayed with me. I found it extremely disturbing and frightening. I wondered why. I don't like ugly scary pictures but am not usually so upset by them.

Hours later I found that I was still very disturbed by the picture of the nun who was being tormented from within. It actually made me feel quite emotional, rather tearful. I sat down to think why I was reacting this way. And realised that perhaps this picture had struck a chord deep within me; it revealed an unpleasant truth of spiritual life. 

Movies with strange and ugly monsters can be scary but we know that they are not real. When the movie ends, the monsters end with it. They do not follow us afterwards. We are able to leave them behind. However, there are monsters in spiritual life too. The dark side of our nature. Recognising and dealing with this side of our nature is the very essence of spiritual progress, of moving godwards. Refusing to see this side and allowing it to grow and take-over, is the very essence of a spiritual fall.

In the past couple of weeks, the news channels have written about the painfully huge extent of abuse within the Catholic church. Since the 1950s, apparantly over 200,000 children in France alone were abused by people in positions of trust-- nuns and monks and their seniors. And this is just the tip of the iceberg of abuse that has taken place. A natural response of many people reading this would be to feel angry and upset that such crimes could be carried out for decades. 

The yoga traditions have not been free of abuse either. Almost every mainstream tradition of recent times has similar appalling events connected with it. And it pains me to say that some of the most senior disciples of my own Guru Sivananda have been tainted by similar abuse (this information is freely available in the public domain). After they left the ashram of Sivananda and became heads of their own spiritual organisations, they committed all sorts of abuse against their disciples, ranging from physical and psychological to sexual and financial. Everywhere that humans exist, abuse seems to exist alongside. Even in the spiritual realm, where we are supposed to work on transcending the inner darkness and embrace the inner light. This is the most painful paradox of all.

In medicine, doctors are taught to recognise the signs of abuse in adults and children and to seek urgent help on behalf of anyone suspected of being a victim. In my line of work, I see the effects of these various types of abuse, particularly physical, sexual and psychological. People's entire lives are often ruined when this occurs. The wounds to their minds and hearts are very deep and sometimes do not ever fully heal. 

In many cases, those who have committed these crimes have robbed these people of joy and peace in life, condemned them to find it difficult to trust other human beings, deprived them of forming meaningful relationships and compelled them to live with depression and anxiety. Mental health treatments (medication and talking therapies) can help to reduce the suffering to an extent, but it rarely fully erases the painful effects of the abuse. To varying extents, people learn to cope with this suffering and attempt to live as normal a life as they can.

So why is it that abuse is rife in society including in monastic circles? Why is this relevant to us as spiritual seekers? We are seekers of God, we are not abusers. Surely this does not concern us, that is what many of us would like to say. Abuse is an uncomfortable subject. As it is not beautiful or devotional, many of us would prefer to close our eyes and avoid thinking about this altogether. It is other people's concern we would like to say, nothing to do with us.

Well, actually it does concern  us. If not us, then who? As spiritual seekers, the abuse that occurs in spiritual circles is very much our business. In medicine we say that seeking help for those affected by abuse is everybody's business. Everyone has a duty to protect oneself and others from abuse. This is in fact a sacred duty. We must not watch silently if we notice that someone is being targeted. We need to tackle the issue by informing the relevant authorities and if required, the local police. 

And then there is the unpleasant subject of our own lower nature. Dealing with external abuse by other people is one thing. Dealing with our own dark side is another, even more challenging task.

We all know the six broad categories of the internal enemies in spiritual life according to the yogic tradition-- these are called the 'six enemies' or 'shad ripus' in Sanskrit. They are craving/lust, anger, greed, pride, jealousy and delusion. If we are perfectly honest with ourselves, we will find that one or more of these in particular attacks us every day. The more spiritual practice we do, the more our past samskaras (mental impressions) of these qualities from various lifetimes will bubble up from the deeper layers of the subconscious mind. We may then be afraid to look within as the sight is often terrible. 

There is nothing worse for a spiritual seeker than to see and experience the utter chaos of the lower mind. When it wakes up with a vengeance, when it rebels against the higher mind, when it rushes off into the external world and refuses to turn inwards to contemplate the God within. Dealing with the lower mind that becomes more rebellious the more we attempt to move Godwards is the most painful spiritual experience.

And perhaps this is what happens to many monks and nuns who becomes abusers. (I would like to state that I am not in any way defending their actions which are absolutely appalling. I believe they must face justice. However I am simply trying to understand the internal mental process that may have contributed to their committing such heinous crimes). 

Many of them may have genuinely desired God when they embarked upon spiritual life. When took their spiritual vows to serve God, and live according to the teachings of the saints of their tradition, many of them would have been earnest and sincere. Some of them may even have been greatly spiritually advanced before their fall.

Sivananda cautioned his disciples when they left his ashram. He warned his students in his writings to never give up spiritual vigilance. He told them that they must never break the spiritual rules. For monks, the age-old yogic tradition is to never mix freely with women or live in close proximity to them under any circumstances. The same applies to women who have taken monastic vows. 

This may sound very outdated and radical but, if we pause for a moment, we will be able to see that there actually was some sense in this. The fact is that the vow of celibacy is not easy to keep as a lifelong commitment. If one is really serious about this, at the very least, one will need to minimise the company of those who who may lead one in the opposite direction. Mixing freely with the opposite gender while attempting to be celibate is a risky approach. The universe itself challenges those who take vows of celibacy. Call it Maya, call it the lower mind, whatever one wants to call it, the challenge appears. And it is an immense challenge from within.

It is said that the negative forces themselves come to challenge those who seek God. And this is the most concerning part, the greatest challenge comes from within, not from outside. It comes from the lower mind. If there are monsters in books and movies, we can avoid these. If there are monster-like people in our social circles, even they can be removed from our lives. But what shall we do with our inner monsters? We cannot escape them so easily. We need to face them. And this is the most frightening part of all, facing our inner darkness.

We can close our eyes to avoid looking at any monsters in the outside world. But when we close our eyes in meditation, that is when our inner monsters may manifest themselves the most. The witnessing aspect of our mind, which develops as we walk the spiritual path, becomes painfully aware of the six enemies within. We watch the mind think about one object after another in the world, and replace the thoughts of God with these futile worldly thoughts. Despite knowing what we need to do, we do the opposite. Why?

Arjuna asks Krishna this very question in the Bhagavad Gita. In Chapter 3 (karma yoga), verses 36, he asks Krishna why it is that people are compelled to perform lowly unrighteous acts against their better judgment (against their own higher mind). In other words, knowing that the cup contains poison, why do we still grasp it and drink deeply?  

Krishna provides him a reply in the next verse (37). He says, it is due to intense desire, and anger (an emotion generated when desire is not met). These two, He says, are the real spiritual enemy. They are the greatest amongst the monsters within our minds. On these two, rest all the other inner monsters (desire/craving being number one).

In verse 39, He says, "O Arjuna, wisdom is enveloped by this constant enemy of the wise in the form of desire, which is insatiable like fire". He goes on to say we must slay (worldly) desire, which is the destroyer of wisdom and realisation. 

(Please see link: https://www.dlshq.org/download/bhagavad-gita/#_VPID_23 )

As we all know, this is much easier said than done. In fact, the moment we vow to give up desire for something or the other, it is guaranteed that the universe will challenge us by providing us that very thing. Our lower mind will at once wake up and say "What's this? I cannot let the higher mind have its way! I will put up a fight!". And the internal challenge is an extremely major one. Serious spiritual seekers, advanced yogis and others who had made substantial progress, have had a devastating spiritual fall due to relaxing their spiritual vigilance. Due to breaking the yogic rules or sometimes due to being placed in certain situations.

I had my first significant experience of this in my early 20s. One day, around sixteen years ago, while at home, I lit a lamp on my private altar and solemnly vowed before God that I would practice brahmacharya for life; I would never marry I promised and my life would be dedicated to the monastic tradition. I was serious about this plan and had not taken this decision lightly (it had taken me two years to separate emotionally from a fiancé whom I deeply cared about and I had also incurred the wrath of my family due to my spiritual plans-- the whole process had been very stressful). I was sure that I wanted God though, and so felt that it had all been worth it. I thought that this was the right way for me to reach Him. 

After this little private ceremony, I felt very contented. In relief I thought I am finally free to practice my spiritual life without trouble from any boyfriends (and, a senior Swami had said that, as soon as I finished my medical studies, I could join the Sivananda organisation as a trainee yogi on the path to potentially become a nun/Swamini). None of this happened of course. Literally a month after taking this vow, I found myself in a peculiar situation where the most un-nun-like thoughts appeared in my mind.  It was completely unprecedented. 

"What is going on?" I asked God angrily. "This is a terrible joke. I take a vow of brahmacharya committing to You and this is what You do!". But unfortunately, it was no joke, and a year later, things had reached a stage where a close friend looked sympathetically at me and said "It's a sort of infatuation, isn't it?". "I guess so" I said gloomily. "I don't know what to do with myself" I thought feeling horrified realising that my spiritual dream of being a monastic was slipping away. "It's bound to go away if I give it enough time". It did not though. I finally realised that I was not going to make it as a nun. "Better to try and be an honest householder than a false nun", I thought. And so, feeling like a spiritual failure, I gave up my plans for monastic life and resolved to pursue spiritual life as a householder. 

Years later, when I discovered the level of abuse in religious organisations, I felt thankful to God that I had not joined any of them. Better to practice spirituality in the quiet of my own home I felt. I also feel that household life has been surprisingly helpful for my spiritual life and probably suits me much better than being a nun would have (I continue to have great respect for the monastic tradition though and believe that this is absolutely the right path for some people. I realise that it is not higher or lower than householder life though; just an alternative path). It seems that perhaps it was the will of God after all that I should become a householder and practice spirituality this way.

However, the picture of the tormented nun still struck a chord with me because her inner strife represents a painful reality of spiritual life that every seeker experiences (whether monastic or householder). The yogis say, the spiritual path is as thin and sharp as the edge of a razor. A slight wobble and one can easily fall off. The nun in this picture represents a spiritual fall, a person who has gone over to the dark side, the ultimate tragedy for one who was seeking God. It is not merely a movie. In real life, we have seen that people who were genuinely seeking God, who loved God, have somehow fallen along the way. 

Those who have embraced monastic life only to become abusers are also souls like us, they too have the divine within. But somehow they have had a terrible fall. The unspeakable crimes that they have committed will cost them dearly in this and future lifetimes. The law of karma is inexorable, it operates without fear or favour, so say the yogis. Even those who escape human justice will pay the price for their actions in the court of the Divine. It is extremely sad and heartbreaking. It can happen to any one of us. We are not immune. We may not become abusers (God-willing we never will), but we can still be severely influenced by the lower mind which drags us downwards away from God.

I am a fan of the Star Wars movies as I feel they portray the battle between good and evil in the universe quite nicely. The central protagonist in the most recent movie from 2019, is a character called "Rey". She is a fighter on the side of the good. She is brave, fearless, attempting to vanquish evil forces and liberate those who suffer oppression. 

There is a scene where she has visions of something frightening. Something even more scary that the most scary of the negative energies she has encountered outside. That is her lower self. At one stage in the movie, when she is setting forth for the final battle with the negative forces, she sees a terrifying vision of herself. Within her mind, she feels afraid as she sees her own lower self manifesting as leader of the negative forces, drunk with power and desiring glory and conquest. She knows that she has so much power that the evil side wants her on their side. They promise her rich rewards if she agreed to switch sides and join them. 

Her own lower mind loves the idea of joining the dark side. It pictures her sitting proudly on the evil throne wielding so much power. And Rey fears that more than anything else she has ever encountered. Her inner darkness is the most terrifying thing in the universe. It is a terrible inner battle that she nearly loses. Fortunately for her, events occur in such a way that the forces of good in the universe arrive at a critical moment to protect her, to stop her from the inner fall. 

All this may sound dramatic, but it is not. It is very, very real. This inner battle is painfully real. We will have to face our inner monsters, our inner darkness one day. It is hidden at the beginning of spiritual life. The more we walk the spiritual path, the more we experience the inner light, and simultaneously, the more we notice the opposite, namely the inner darkness. The appearance of the inner light reveals the inner darkness in all its terrible form.

At this stage, terrified by what we see, we turn to God for help. Fortunately for us, He resides in our hearts. And His light is a light that transcends both our inner light and our inner darkness. And He can never be defeated. His names in Sanskrit include 'Aparajitah' (the undefeatable), Dhama (the Supreme light), Bhakta vatsalah (One who loves His devotees) and Parameshti (the Supreme One, the greatest of all, residing in the hearts of all). These names belong to the famous and beautiful prayer known as the 'Vishnu sahasranama', the one thousand names of Vishnu or Narayana. 

(Please see link: https://www.swami-krishnananda.org/vishnu/Sri_Vishnu.pdf )

We will need His help to create such a strong light within our being that all darkness simply fades away. The yogis say our inner darkness is merely an illusion; it has no permanent reality. But, while we exist in this world, subject to the spiritual laws of dharma and karma, we experience this as a part of our reality, alongside our inner light.

Constant vigilance is ultimately needed, constant contact with God and His name or mantra to protect the mind, to create this divine light within ourselves. We cannot rest for even a second, we cannot relax, for the moment we do so, we will see that the mind goes downwards, that is its very nature. It is an uphill task all the way. And that is why Krishna says "Abhyasa tu Kaunteya", i.e. "Keep practicing Arjuna", when the latter complains that it is all too difficult. "Keep practicing", He says, and most of all, "Come to Me, seek refuge in Me". 

The most famous line in the Gita which occurs at the very end of the book, and is quoted in all ashrams and yogic centres, is this:

"Sarva dharman parityajya, Mamekam sharanam vraja, 

Aham tvam sarva papebhyo, Mokshayishyami ma shuchah".

Meaning:

"Leaving aside all dharmas (actions), come to Me alone for refuge, 

I will free you from all sins and grant you liberation, do not grieve (lament)".

Previously in the Gita, He tells us to keep our minds fixed on Him with devotion and perform all the worldly tasks and duties that we need to as an offering to Him. And afterwards, with this concluding statement, He gives us a powerful assurance that if we do this, if we remain connected with Him, He will grant us protection (from our lower selves), wisdom and freedom from all sorrow. He will grant us knowledge of our true inner reality as being immortal, blissful and one with Him.

Om Sri Krishnam Vande Jagadgurum. 

Om Dhamaya Namah. Salutations to the Supreme Light that dispels all darkness.

Om Namo Narayanaya.

Hari Aum Tat Sat.

Accepting the will of God

 Hari Aum.

I visited a Krishna temple earlier today that I have been to many times over the years. It is a popular place and is usually quite busy particularly at weekends. A temple, like any other place of worship, is of course a place where people go for a variety of reasons. One can pray anywhere but there is something particularly helpful about a special spot dedicated for the purpose. (Just as one can study for an examination in various places but there is something special about a library-- it is quiet, peaceful and has the right atmosphere). 

So, we go to places of worship for so many different reasons. We go to ask God to help us with this or that issue, to express gratitude for what we have been given, to ask for devotion, for health, for spiritual progress and so on and so forth. When we go to ask Him/Her for specific things, it sometimes can look a little bit like going shopping-- in the sense that we have a list that we need to tick off. "Hi God, thank you for what You've given me so far, I'm really grateful. However, I'd like You to help me out with my house, car, family, health, wealth, work etc etc". And then we expectantly wait to see what God will do. Will He help us? Yes, of course. What we need and what we want are not always the same though. He/She will give us what we need, not always what we want. Sometimes He/She may give us what we asked for, only for us to discover that what we wanted was maybe not such a good idea. We are allowed to make mistakes and learn from these experiences.

A time comes for most of us, particularly when we've been trudging along the spiritual path for a while, and experiencing that seemingly never-ending battle between the higher and lower mind (that continues until one attains God/Self-realisation), when we realise that we can do better than this. We realise that going to God with an endless shopping list is actually not such a smart plan. We recognise that God has His/Her own plan for the universe and for every single being within it. It becomes apparant that what we are asking God for is actually lesser that what He/She would want to give us.

One imagines a parent asking a three year old, "What would you like for your birthday?", and the child after thinking for a while, might say "A red balloon! Red is my favourite colour!". And the parent might say, "Yes of course you can have a red balloon!" and privately think, "Well, that can be part of your present, but I have so much more that I actually want to give you, not just a balloon that will last a few days!". Our relationship with God feels a bit like this. We are His/Her relatively ignorant children, we do not understand the will of God, spiritual laws, the universal plan. We look at our lives with a limited mindset, based on our own small ideas of what we need to be happy. 

Those of us who are spiritual seekers know, on some level, that we need more than people, houses, cars, work, wealth and so on to make us happy. We realise that we need God and that He/She is number one. He/She is the centre, the pivot around which the rest of our lives turn. Everything gradually begins to align to His/Her presence in our lives once we establish a connection with Him/Her through our spiritual practices. 

And then we reach a point, where we start wondering "What is the point of my shopping list for God?". "Why should I ask Him/Her for this or that?". "He/She knows what is best for me, this is increasingly clear. Am I not standing in His/Her way by making all this requests?". 

So finally, one makes only one request. That well-known phrase that spiritual teachers everywhere advise their students to sincerely say to God-- "Thy will be done". One realises that this is, in fact, the most sensible prayer one can ever make. Because He/She alone knows what this entire universe is about, why we are all here, what we are meant to be doing on this planet, why the world is the way it is and all these other complex questions to which we never seem to find a real answer.

In some ways, we live like hamsters running in a wheel. We wake up in the morning, get ready and rush about performing various tasks. The day ends and night arrives. We go to sleep for a few hours, then wake up and repeat the same cycle. Days, months, years and decades pass in this way, and before we know it, our time is up. Our lifetime is over and it is time to go. Where shall we go, leaving everything behind? Leaving all those things behind that we had asked God to give us? None of them will go with us. Only our karma (our noble and ignoble deeds) and our sadhana (spiritual practice) will travel with us to the next realm and will influence future lifetimes, so say the yogis.

So today, when I was at the temple, I was thinking as I looked at the deity, "I've stood here before You so many times over the years. And usually when I'm here, I ask You for something or the other, whether it is spiritual or material. You know my list pretty well."

"But today, I truly just want to say one thing because I feel it pretty strongly-- I know You have a plan for me (like You have for everyone). And I also know that I do not know this plan. And furthermore, I know that Your plan will be good for me. Because You are both wise and good."

"So today all I have to say, is let me truly accept Your plan for me, let me accept Your will.  Whatever it is that You want me to be, let me be just that way. Whatever it is that You want me to do, let me do exactly that. From now onwards and always, let things be this way. Make me sincere in accepting Your will, Your plan for me. For a change, I want what You want (even though I realise I mostly have no idea what that is!). I trust You, and I know that Your will is the best thing for me and for everyone."

I've said "Thy will be done" many times before. But this was possibly the most sincere I've been in saying it. I've come to realise in recent times that we limit ourselves when we ask God for our list of things. It's natural of course to make requests, both material and spiritual, and there is no harm in doing that. It's a human thing and that's ok. But in the end, after we're done with the experience of making all those requests, it just feels right to say to God, "Ultimately, when all is said and done, I want You to do what You feel is best for me".

There is a certain sense of relief in making this prayer. It really takes the pressure off us having to try and get things right all the time in our lives. In submitting to the will of God, we can rest and relax on some level knowing that He/She will do what is good for us.

Om Namo Narayanaya.

Hari Aum Tat Sat

The head and the heart: war and peace

 Hari Aum.

I thought it would be interesting to reflect a bit on two important aspects of the human mind, namely the head and the heart, and their connection. The head represents our intellect, and the heart represents our feelings and intuition.

Both of these aspects of our being are very important and have their own role in our lives. When they function well, when they are in harmony with each other, they can enable us to live a life that is true to ourselves, that is joyful and fulfilling. A head and heart working together, that are on the same page, allow us to feel peace and bliss. And when we feel this way, we are naturally much more likely to be healthy, inspired and productive. All aspects of our life, both spiritual and material, progress well when we experience this inner peace, this inner harmony between head and heart.

In contrast, when these two, the head and the heart, are at war, the reverse happens-- we feel unwell, we feel unhappy, stressed, tired and depleted. We feel exhausted-- the reason for this fatigue is that this inner war within the mind consumes a lot of energy. We constantly struggle with our thoughts and feelings. Sometimes the head has the upper hand, at other times the heart does. We feel pulled in all sorts of different directions (in extreme cases, it can feel like inner torture; one aspect of our mind literally tortures the other by refusing to accept or acknowledge it).

As a result of this inner conflict, all aspects of our lives are negatively impacted. The body and mind both suffer. We are unable to focus deeply, we do not sleep well, we feel anxious and panicky, our body produces stress hormones which wreak havoc on the various organs. These stress hormones can produce all sorts of unpleasant physical symptoms. All in all, life ceases to be enjoyable. It becomes a constant struggle, very unpleasant indeed.

So, as this inner war within the mind is so damaging to our lives, let us examine why this happens. What actually leads to this inner conflict? Why do we turn upon ourselves? Why do we reach a stage where we are at war with our own selves (as this seems so counterintuitive, so counterproductive)?

Well, to be able to understand this, we need to examine the nature and role of the head and the heart in our lives.

 What is the head or the intellect's role? It is meant to help us understand ourselves and the world around us. It enables us to process information, analyse and weigh this carefully and make decisions. These decisions are meant to be for our welfare and hopefully that of others too. The intellect likes to see itself as being sensible, logical, rational and analytical, as being calm and composed. It feels safe and happy in this domain, when the mind behaves this way. 

Very importantly, the intellect likes to be able to understand, to comprehend things. It therefore likes to receive information via our five senses that can be understood in accordance with the laws of nature as they are known today (based on modern science). It feels comfortable when things happen in accordance with these comforting and predictable scientific laws. 

When a ball is thrown up into the air, the intellect is pleased when it falls down-- that is what it expects in accordance with the law of gravity. What goes up must come down. The intellect feels greatly alarmed when things do not go in accordance with these natural laws. If a ball is thrown into the air and stays there, the intellect would be very frightened. 'What on Earth is happening?!', it would exclaim. 'Good God, how can this be!', it would say. Why, what, how, wherefore, these are the questions the intellect asks. Most important of all, why? Why this, and why that? 

The head seeks to understand and give us information, so that we feel in control, in charge, safe and protected. There is nothing worse that feeling out-of-control and therefore vulnerable from its perspective. Being vulnerable is dangerous says the head, being in control is safe. "I've got my head in the right place" the intellect says in satisfaction when it feels that things are going well according to its plan.

"I need to know everything, and be in control and in charge of everything in my life, so that I can be safe and feel protected as much as possible"-- this is the mantra of the intellect. 

Now, this is a noble aim indeed. But sadly for the intellect, the universe is not designed entirely according to its wishes. No, the universe has its own ideas. The universe is created by a Higher Intelligence, much higher than the intellect. The intellect cannot grasp or understand this Higher Intellect and is frequently flummoxed by its ways. 

"Why is this happening?" laments the intellect, when it finds that the Higher Intelligence is doing something that does not fit with its expectations of life or with scientific laws. This is a significant issue particularly in spiritual life because the intellect is unfamiliar with the working of the Spirit, of spiritual laws. 

The lower intellect often tries to deny the existence of the Higher Intelligence as it does not like to feel there is anything higher than itself (this is a manifestation of the lower ego, a major obstacle in spiritual life). It therefore rejects the feelings of the heart that says that God exists, that everything will be ok if one accepts the will of God in life.

Even when the intellect accepts the existence of God, it finds it difficult to hand over control, hand over charge to this Higher Intelligence --because handing over charge feels scary, there is a lack of trust. The intellect likes to trust only itself (and not God, let alone anyone else), but unfortunately, it is usually not at all as clever as it would like to be. It therefore frequently finds itself in deep water in life when it gets cut off from God and is unable to find the solutions it desires. This leads to feelings of discontentment and general frustration in life.

Let us now examine the heart representing our emotions, feelings and intuition. Before we go deeper into this subject, let us take a moment to reflect that in society, the emotional mind is usually despised, mocked and looked down upon. "He/she is so emotional!" people may say in a derogatory fashion. "Don't be so emotional!" we are told by our loved ones at times. "Don't display your emotions, keep them in check (to avoid looking ridiculous)!" is the message that is ingrained in many of us from childhood. 

And as for 'intuition', many people see this as an airy-fairy, made-up nonsense and are very suspicious of it; they do not even believe it exists, let alone trust in it (I have to admit I was this way for most of my life, and it is only because of some events that happened in recent years, that I have been compelled to accept that intuition is very real and that one can experience something higher than the intellect).

This unhealthy attitude towards one's emotions and feelings is rife (to varying extents) in societies all over the world and affects both men and women. In many countries, unfortunately this is especially targeted at boys and men.  Men in particular are often compelled to suppress and hide their emotions and pretend these barely exist due to peer pressure (known these days by the term 'toxic masculinity'). They are told that they need to 'act tough' and 'be manly' all the time and that suppressing their feelings is a necessary part of this. As a result, sadly, they are especially at risk of the inner war that I mentioned earlier, the war between the head and the heart. They often find it harder to recognise and accept their feelings as they judge themselves so harshly and society can judge them too. 

Fortunately, with increasing awareness of mental health, and the need to tackle anxiety, depression and so on (which are all hugely on the increase worldwide, especially in the current times of strife), there is much more discussion about the need to acknowledge and accept one's feelings. This is still hard for many men and women to do, especially when the feelings are uncomfortable and inconvenient (will come back to this again a bit later).

So, coming back to the heart-- what is it exactly? The heart represents all of our emotions, both higher and lower. The higher emotions include love, compassion, kindness, respect, empathy, selflessness, concern for the welfare of others and a wish to serve others. The general theme of our higher emotions is that they are based on higher values such as compassion, truthfulness and self-control (these are the yogic ethics 'ahimsa', 'satya' and 'brahmacharya'). We can call this the spiritual heart, the higher aspect of the human mind. 

When we experience these higher emotions regularly, when we invite and strengthen them within us, we grow closer to our divine nature, we express this more truly. The more we act in accordance with our higher emotions, the more divine our life becomes. Not only this, we form a closer link with the God within us. Now God includes both Higher Intelligence and Divine love, so the higher emotions become a gateway to access this divine aspect of our nature. 

We thus develop our intuition, which is that aspect of our being which acquires information directly from the Higher Intelligence without the assistance of the five senses, thus transcending the intellect. The intution rests upon our cultivation of higher emotions, upon the spiritual heart. It stands above the human intellect in its capacity to know the truth as it is connected to God Him/Herself.

In contrast to higher emotions, our lower emotions act as a block between our mind and God. Feelings of selfishness, fear, anger, cruelty, disrespect, contempt, ill-wishing, superiority, jealousy, hatred and so on are completely the opposite of our true divine nature. These lead us downward. When we encourage these sorts of feelings, we cut ourselves off from all Divine support. 

We then find ourselves in a difficult position in this world. Without a connection with the Divine, the lower mind/emotions finds itself relying entirely on the intellect. The intellect is also tarnished by the lower emotions. It becomes cloudy and unclear. It makes poor decisions and poor judgements. It finds it hard to see things clearly in the midst of the turbulent negative emotions in the mind. As a result, the intellect makes errors in judgement and propels us to act wrongly. And when we act wrongly, we set in motion the wheel of negative karma-- we will suffer for this sooner or later. 

Therefore, we see that the head and the heart are both extremely important. They need to both be acknowledged and work in harmony for us to live a happy and productive life on this planet, both spiritually and materially.

In summary, a healthy head or intellect requires a healthy spiritual heart or cultivation of higher divine emotions. This includes truthfulness and compassion in particular. When the heart is healthy, the emotions are clean and non-turbulent, and the intellect can see things clearly. Intuition also develops due to the closer bond with our divine aspect. Then we find ourselves able to understand ourselves and the world better and make good decisions. We feel happy and peaceful. When we seek the will of God, of the Higher Intelligence/Divine love, we find ourselves making the best decisions of all. Because the wisdom of God far exceeds that of our human heads.

"I need to cultivate higher emotions, live an ethical life based on truth and compassion, and seek the will of God in my life as this makes me feel safe and protected"-- this is the mantra of the healthy spiritual heart (higher emotions and intuition).

"I need to look after myself and my feelings at all costs and do not care what happens in the process to other people and their feelings"-- this is the mantra of the unhealthy heart (lower emotions).

I want to say something additional about truthfulness here. The view of the yogis is that this is the single most important virtue that needs to be practiced in the current spirtual age (or 'yuga'). This virtue alone, they say, will lead to all other virtues including selflessness, non-violence and self-control. When we know we have to be truthful, we will want to act in such a way that we have nothing to hide. There is nothing worse than living a life of denial of the truth. 

The practice of truth is therefore of paramount importance in developing the higher emotions. It is necessary for the development of devotion, of concentration upon God and for spiritual progress. Without truth, there can be no spiritual progress whatsoever. This includes recognising our own truth, namely, seeing our thoughts and feelings as they really are, and these may not always be convenient to us.

There can be times when it is not easy to accept the truth. This is one significant reason why the head and heart go to war. The heart experiences something-- it may be related to the spiritual or the material world-- but the head is unwilling to accept this experience. The head tells the heart that this should not be, it cannot be, it must not be. The heart however cannot stop feeling what it does. It is its nature to feel after all. Telling it not to feel is like telling water not to flow or telling fire not to burn. It is made to be this way. 

Therefore, regardless of whether or not we feel comfortable sharing our feelings with others, we need to, at the very least, be comfortable accepting our feelings as they are. This is part of what is called 'emotional intelligence' (this is the intelligence of the heart, which is as important as that of the head). There is no right or wrong when it comes to feelings (positive ones I mean). How we act on our various feelings in life is another matter altogether and that requires us to consider our circumstances and that of others and seek the will of God. 

And when we feel that we are heading towards, or are already in the midst of, an inner war, it is wise to seek the guidance of God to help resolve the situation. The help of God will ultimately be good for both the head and the heart. This is another place where the mantra can be very useful. 

The mantra, which is God in sound form, is described by the yogis as something that brings peace to our lives, it balances all aspects of the mind, gives us the inner strength to live our lives according to the higher values of truthfulness and so on. Recitation of a mantra of God will over time lead to harmony developing between the head and heart, and between our inner and outer lives. We must be true to ourselves if we are to progress on the spiritual path. We need to ask God to enable us to live a life based on truth, based on dharma/righteousness if we are to experience our true nature.

Om Satyaya Namah 

Om prostrations to God as Truth

Om Namo Narayanaya.

Hari Aum Tat Sat