The sacred Guru-disciple bond

 Hari Aum.

It is nearly ten and a half years since I started this blog. So many events have taken place during this time, both 'good' and 'bad' (from a higher perspective, I suppose one could say that even the 'bad' was actually good as it was in accordance with the will of God and ultimately for my benefit).

I have come some way, and have so much longer to go. So, so, so much longer. I am grateful to God for what He has given me, both materially and spiritually. And there is so much more that I want-- specifically spiritually. If the spiritual journey can be likened to the distance from the Earth to Moon then I feel like I have travelled maybe just a few hundred feet into the air.

It is not comfortable to think about the journey that is ahead. Every day that passes takes one one day closer to the day we leave this planet (sorry if that sounds a bit gloomy but it is true). When there is an important task to fulfill, and the deadline (no pun intended!) looms, one feels a bit uneasy. Death is our deadline. God is to be realised when we are still alive, that is what the yogis say. They also tell us that human life is a rare and precious opportunity given to us to attain our spiritual birthright, namely God-realisation. To fritter away our precious life by running after the petty trifles of this world is not the best use of this great blessing that we have been given. 

On this immensely challenging yet rewarding spiritual journey, the Guru is our trusty guide and companion. He or she inspires us to get started on the spiritual path. S/he keeps us going every step of the way. And finally s/he grants us the goal of spiritual life, namely spiritual wisdom.

The Guru is therefore a tremendously important part of one's spiritual life. S/he will appear in the life of every one of us when the time is right. There is a saying that 'marriages are made in heaven' (though many married couples might question this from time to time!). Well, the Guru-disciple bond is very much made in heaven. It is decided by God Himself. 

The Guru is a manifestation of God. A unique manifestation who has one foot, as it were, in the spiritual world, and the other foot in the material world. S/he is a bridge connecting two worlds and is therefore capable of leading people from the material to the spiritual.

Cultivating a strong bond with one's Guru is therefore a vital necessity for spiritual progress. So what can we do to cultivate this bond, this connection, this relationship? 

I would like to share the view of my Guru Sivananda on this subject. And I would also like to share my experiences of attempting to cultivate a bond with him as I regard him as my Guru.

Sivananda says very simply "Obedience is better than reverence". And that in a nutshell, is it. He advises disciples to obey the Guru-- meaning, follow the spiritual instructions of the Guru in letter and in spirit. Be sincere, be true, he says. Be true to yourself. This is the key. The Guru delights in the disciple who, while adhering to the spiritual precepts provided, makes spiritual progress. The Guru wants nothing more than for the disciple to express his/her full spiritual potential and attain God. This is the wonderful nature of the Guru.

This obedience, this sincerity in the application of the Guru's teachings in one's life is the way to cultivate a bond with the Guru. This application needs to be consistent, done daily and regularly (not occasionally when one feels like it). One needs to make an effort to plod on steadily no matter whether life feels easy or challenging. 

On that note, I would like to share some of my experiences of cultivating a bond with Sivananda since I discovered him nearly eighteen years ago.

I discovered Swami Sivananda in early November 2004. I was at university in my second year of studying medicine. It was the holy Muslim month of Ramadan. The national students union had suggested a day for 'solidarity fasting' where non-Muslims could fast along with their Muslim friends to create a closer bond between communities. Some of my friends (who were from various different countries) and I randomly decided to participate in solidarity with some of the Muslim students whom we knew. We spent a day without eating or drinking anything and attended lectures as usual. It was actually quite a useful experience. 

Afterwards, we were invited to the 'iftar' in the evening, the meal where the day's fast is broken. When I attended, an eminent university scholar of Islam (a European convert to Islam) gave an interesting speech about the benefits of fasting. He quoted people from various religious traditions saying that, despite the many differences between religions, fasting is one aspect that unites them all. When he talked about the Hindu view on fasting, he mentioned Sivananda. That was the first time my Guru's name fell upon my ears. 

He said "Swami Sivananda says 'Fasting controls passion. It checks the emotions. It controls the senses also. It is a great penance. It purifies the mind and the heart'". For some reason (destiny I suppose), these words produced a deep impression on me. I wondered "Who is this Sivananda?". When I returned to my student room, I looked him up online and came across the website of the Divine Life Society based in Rishikesh, India (the organisation that he started). From then onwards, I was hooked. My life and priorities changed fundamentally from that time onwards.

I found myself reading his books, experimenting with the various spiritual practices he had written about, attending the local Sivananda Centre. Within six months, I decided to take mantra initiation and was permitted to do so. Later I completed the  one month Sivananda Teachers Training course in 2006 during the university summer holidays. 

At this stage, I was seriously contemplating leaving medicine to join the Sivananda organisation as a trainee yogi with the aim of eventually taking monastic vows (I went through a painful relationship break-up with the express purpose of pursuing this goal). However, when I asked for permission to do this, I was turned away by a senior Swami who told me I must first finish what I had started i.e. the medical course, and then decide if I still wanted to join the organisation. 

Three years later, after I finished medical school, the Swamis asked me if I still wanted to join. At this stage, various things had happened that made me realise that the path of monasticism was unfortunately not for me. It was very difficult for me to accept this (a huge blow to my ego apart from anything else!). I had also discovered some senior doctors whose medical practice had really inspired me and made me realise that medicine could actually be quite spiritual if done the right way. I therefore decided to continue to train as a doctor and keep up spiritual life as the foundation. I also decided that I would one day marry and seriously practice spirituality as a 'grihastha' (householder).

I have done as I decided. I have plodded along the spiritual path, having good and bad days, having good and bad phases. There have been times when I have felt on a spiritual high, with the mind constantly thinking about God and mantra, feeling very connected to God and Guru. These have been times of peace, joy and a feeling of fulfilment. 

There have been times which have been just the opposite-- the mind filled with worldly thoughts, finding it impossible to concentrate for more than a few seconds on God. These times have been filled with spiritual despair and immense frustration. 

So I have regarded Sivananda as my Guru for eighteen years. Initially, he was a figure in a book, on a website, a picture on an altar. Over time, as I began to practice his teachings, I felt him to be my inspiration, my spiritual muse as it were. I meditated upon him sometimes, I imagined him within my heart, I talked to him (as one sometimes talks to God) and I sang spiritual songs to him. I began to feel that he could hear me. I began to feel his pictures looked alive, as though he was looking at me and listening (they always seem alive now whether or not I'm having a good day spiritually). 

And then, after I published the third Krishna book, in August 2018, he appeared in a dream for the first time (I felt he approved of my writing the Krishna books as I did it as a form of spiritual practice which I dedicated to him). I was facing some challenging issues at the time. They were of a 'worldly nature' and I did not want to ask him to resolve them as I felt I should only ask him for spiritual blessings. 

Out of the blue, I dreamt of him towards the end of a particularly difficult night (during which I'd had a splitting headache, a migraine)--in the early hours of the morning. The dream was weirdly detailed-- we spoke as if we were meeting in person. I discussed a specific worldly problem in great detail with him. He listened and asked me a few general questions which I answered. At the end of our conversation, I felt I could ask him for a blessing-- this could be resolution of the wordly issue, or a spiritual blessing. 

Knowing that he always advises his disciples to ask only for spiritual blessings (and leave worldly matters for God to handle), I felt the latter option was the right one, and asked for this. I asked him to bless me that I would attain God in this very lifetime (though I know that even if the Guru blesses one with this, there is still no guarantee as the disciple still has to put in much effort. The disciple must play his/her part as spiritual wisdom is not a freebie). In the dream, he  agreed and blessed me by placing his hands upon my head three times. That portion of the dream then ended. Afterwards I dreamt that I was going to the Sivananda centre to do some 'karma yoga' (voluntary work) which I used to do in real life. Later, when I woke up, I thought "Well, that was a nice dream!" and felt happy (ecstatic was more like it actually). 

But I tend to doubt and dismiss my spiritual experiences (out of fear of giving undue importance to things and deluding myself) and thought, 'it's just a dream, my imagination. He didn't really come to me (why would he)!' Six weeks later though, the worldly problem that I had discussed with him in the dream, was resolved. It was quite extraordinary and unexpected. I was delighted and began to feel that the dream of Sivananda had something to do with it. I thanked him then and am still extremely grateful. 

Two-and-a-half years later, in April last year, I dreamt of him again while going through a spiritually difficult time. A few days prior to the dream, I told a friend that I felt I was a terrible disciple, an awful student, a disappointment to Sivananda. If I met him now, I said, how disappointed he would be, how unhappy he would be with me. Saying this, I actually burst into tears and the friend said something sympathetic which didn't really make me feel much better. 

A few days later, on Easter Sunday, again out-of-the-blue, I dreamt of Sivananda in the early hours of the morning. This time, it was a much briefer conversation than the last dream. We were at his ashram in Rishikesh (where I have been a few times in real life). In the dream, he went down some steps to the Ganga and then came back up and met me (in real life, there are several steps leading down from the ashram to the river). He said only one thing "If you carry on the way you have been doing, you will attain" (attain the spiritual goal that is). That was it. I then told him that his book 'Japa yoga' was a great inspiration for me. He simply smiled. 

(Note--some time after I wrote this blog entry, I checked my written record of this dream that I had made in the morning after it happened. I wanted to check if I'd missed anything important. But I have not. This message was essentially the key part of the dream (I wrote down his exact words as I remembered when I woke up that morning). There were a few other minor details which are less important such as my getting a bit teary-eyed with happiness upon seeing Sivananda (as it felt like meeting a long-lost parent) and touching his foot etc as a mark of love/respect, but that was not the key. 

In the dream, I also asked him for clarification on what he meant, and he responded by repeating the same message. I had the impression that he was asking me to carry on with the mantra purascharana practice, karma yoga and other elements of sadhana that I had been doing over the years. In the dream, I then went away and reflected upon his words. I then returned to ask him to bless me that I would succeed in following his instruction-- I had the feeling that he did when I woke up but could not remember this fully.  At the very end of our conversation, I said that, as I could not usually see him physically, his book 'Japa Yoga' was a great inspiration for me. That was when he smiled). 

I woke up feeling very very happy. I felt that he was saying that he was not disappointed in me, that he was not upset with me, that I should continue spiritual life, no matter what was happening in my external life. I again doubted myself later thinking maybe it was just my imagination. But that dream has had a lasting impact on me; somewhere deep inside, it felt very real. 

And so, I feel my Guru has my back, he is responding to me. He is not just a picture anymore. He is not just a spiritual person who wrote books, a yogi who lived in the past century, a distant person from another generation, a Guru of only other people, a far-away figure. No. No. A thousand times, no. He is not that at all.

He is a living being, he knows what his disciples are going through, he is with us every step of the way, whether we know it or not. Even when we stumble and fall, especially when we stumble and fall, he is there with us. He does not let us go, even when we do. 

I am writing this today for every spiritual seeker,  as a reminder that you are not alone on this journey. No matter what you are going through, regardless of whether or not you have found your Guru, you are being cared for and protected every step of the way. You are not alone. The universe, God, your Guru, has your back. You can trust them. You just need to keep going.

I want to be perfectly frank. I am an extremely average spiritual seeker. Very, very average. As I said previously, I have some moments when I feel really connected to God and Guru. And others, when I really don't, when I forget God for a while. The constant remembrance of God that I aspire for is really not happening right now. 

It feels more like constant remembrance of the world. I am fed up of myself and literally have to apologise to God after every session of mantra meditation these days because of the way my mind wanders. It is absolutely dreadful (the only small hope is that when I sing spiritual songs, I have good concentration). One of my daily requests to Him is to sort this out, to get me back on track. But the response currently feels very limited.

Yet. Yet, He looks after me, in the form of Sivananda he takes care of me. He tells me to just keep going, no matter what. The yogis say, we are not the body, mind, thoughts, feelings, emotions, intellect, senses, none of it. This is just not who we are. We are Spirit. We are one with God. We always were, we still are, and we always will be. Regardless of whether or not we know it at this moment. 

Therefore, the message today, is hang in there. No matter what, just hang in there. This blog is not being written by a person who has achieved spiritual success. It is being written by someone who is right in the middle of the spiritual struggle. 

And that is why, despite my many flaws, I write. I am not perfect, I am very, very far from it. But I believe that spiritual perfection is my true nature, as it is yours. We all have a right to know this, it is our spiritual birthright.

So let us continue with spiritual practice. As Sivananda said-- if you continue your spiritual practice, you will attain the spiritual goal. I strongly believe this message was not just for me, it is for you too. And that is why I am writing it here. Never give up. That is his message, it is the message of all Gurus. Never give up on yourself, on your true Self.

On that note, I am now going to go off and do a bit of my mantra meditation with the faith that it will help (regardless of the level of mind-wandering!).

In summary, the only thing that is needed to cultivate the bond with one's Guru, a true living bond, is spiritual practice. Every single day. Every *single* day. 

This needs to happen regardless of what is happening in one's life. Regardless of how good or bad the quality of the spiritual practice feels. The mantra or name of God needs to be recited every single day. 

That is all that I have done. I have recited the mantra that I was initiated into by the representative of my Guru every day for nearly eleven years (prior to this period, the recitation was sporadic). The practice of this mantra obtained from the Guru (via his lineage) has been the heart and soul of my spiritual practice (the mantra received from the Guru is called 'Guru mantra'; it is a link between the disciple and Guru/God). Everything else (all other spiritual practices such as karma yoga, puja, homam, even kirtan etc) has been built upon this foundation. 

I feel this practice has helped me build a living connection with my Guru, my Guru who is one with God. And it continues to help me forge an ever-closer bond with him.

Om Namo Bhagavate Sivanandaya.

Om Namo Narayanaya.

Hari Aum Tat Sat.