Completion of purascharana five

 Hari Aum.

I finally managed to complete purascharana five this week. I started it in mid-March 2020 just as the pandemic began and it's taken me two years and nine months to complete it (around a year longer than originally intended).

This purascharana has been a unique one (my 'pandemic purascharana'). It's been the most rewarding and the most challenging (as I've mentioned in previous posts). Looking back, the main theme of it has been truth. During this purascharana, various events have taken place that have compelled me to speak my truth, take actions in accordance with my truth (some of these have been very difficult) and living according to the truth (this is still a work in progress). There are also been a strange sort of emotional catharsis, involving looking at my life as a whole (from childhood till date), sorting out some complex dynamics within the extended family, and reaffirming my decision to commit to this practice no matter what else happens in my life. 

I have had to seek the help of God and Guru more than ever before to maintain my sanity in the midst of the numerous challenges, both material and spiritual, related to every aspect of my life (especially my health, which is currently relatively ok, thankfully). To say it has not been easy would be an understatement. Nonetheless, as the saying goes 'What doesn't kill you makes you stronger', I have survived it so far. 

The only time I nearly gave up this practice was after the dream of the angry Mother Kali that I had in September this year (described in another post). No amount of obstacles has put me off this mantra practice, not health issues, not people issues, not work issues. But that dream was really quite alarming not least because it felt very real (I'm still not sure fully what to make of it). Afterwards, I felt wary of meditation for a few days, scared of looking inwards, worried that I might be developing some sort of Kundalini trouble or something else. I then remembered Sivananda saying in one of his books that spirtual seekers claim to be enthusiastic about having some spiritual experiences but the moment these begin to happen they get frightened and attempt to abandon their practices. He says one must have courage to walk the spiritual path. After some prayers to God and Guru to keep me sane (and protect me from any Kundalini disturbances), I continued the practice at a very modest seven malas a day. 

I am relieved that it is finally completed. And happy. And really, really tired and drained. My plan is to take a break from this practice for around six-seven weeks and then start the next purascharana in early February (I'm still sticking with my plan to complete the eight in a row). I will continue the slow and steady approach when it comes to sadhana as, based on my experience, I have realised that a daily, regular practice over a period of time is what produces results. 

I want to ensure that I keep this up (and hopefully I will be able to, God-willing). I will not do any heroic large amounts of japa per day. The next purascharana will probably be a modest 7-9 malas per day (yet to figure out which) so that I can keep it up in the midst of my various responsibilities including home, profession and other duties. I am also doing much more kirtan these days due to my having taken up the devotional singing in the past couple of years.

I am going to reward myself for plodding on with this practice despite everything and managing to complete it. The lower mind is going to be placated (it's been grumbling for a while! ;) with a variety of nice things (including dark chocolate, movies, outings etc). After soothing my shattered nerves for some weeks (and having sufficiently bribed the lower mind! :) I will then hopefully be in a good position to take up the next purascharana with renewed enthusiasm and commit to this practice which may take another 2-3 years!

I won't deny that I'm both curious and wary about what the next purascharana will bring. The last two seem to have generated some definite spiritual experiences and I wonder what might happen next. The mantra certainly seems to be doing something both internally and externally in my life. My approach will be to keep up the discipline, maintain an open mind, and accept whatever the universe throws at me with as much grace as is reasonably possible (I'm not entirely pleased that it's been throwing all sorts of stuff at me for a while now, but I feel I simply have to accept it as a sort of 'karmic purgation', a necessary part of spiritual life. Nobody has ever said that spiritual life is easy).

In the coming six weeks, until I start the next sixth purascharana, I will do a light and easy worship of the Divine Mother to express my gratitude to Her for all Her love and support. There really is nobody quite like Her. I will recite one mala a day of the MahaLakshmi mantra from this Friday onwards. And also recite the Saptasloki Durga at least once a week and more often if I feel like it. I will also continue with the devotional music and dance. 

On that note, I will say goodbye for now. I wish all of you a wonderful Christmas. I'm planning to take up the study of the Upanishads shortly after quite a long break (Sivananda recommends this to all his students regardless of their spiritual development as they provide useful insights for every grade of seeker). I will write about this subject in the coming weeks as it is an extremely interesting body of literature that deals with numerous spiritual topics (from a Jnana yoga approach, the yoga of wisdom, in contrast to the Puranas which have a more devotional approach).

Om Namo Narayanaya.

Hari Aum Tat Sat.