Worries, the need to know, and surrender

 Hari Aum.

The majority of us tend to worry. Worry is a form of fear say the yogis. We fear what we do not know. And in this great universe that we live in, we actually know very little. We do not know our future, why things happen the way they do, why the universe is the way it is, why people are the way they are. 

The scriptures give us some hints but it can be quite difficult to truly grasp the meaning of what they say. Worry occurs when we wonder if things will go the way we want, or rather, when we fear that they will not. We wonder if we may lose the things we have and not acquire the things we want in life. 

It is natural to worry, when we consider that we are relatively tiny beings in this vast universe, subject to both internal and external forces that we barely understand. It is natural to feel anxious and alarmed at times, especially in the current uncertain world we live in, a world filled with war, natural disasters, pandemics, economic crises etc.

We human beings like to know things. We strive to learn about the universe, about ourselves, in order to live life on our own terms, to be successful (however we choose to define this), to be happy.

Worry unfortunately robs us of the happiness that we seek. It can be very diffcult to rid ourselves of this habit. Some amount of worrying of course may be regarded as sort of helpful, possibly as protective. We may take sensible action and precautions based on our worries to ensure our wellbeing and that of others. This is ok, probably a good thing.

The problem comes when we worry about things beyond our control, when we become anxious about wanting to know things that we cannot easily find the answers, when we seek assurances that cannot be easily given. 

We ask various questions-- what, when, why, how, where? To a limited extent, we may find some answers (and even these may not always be satisfactory). Much of the time, there may be no answers at all.

Why is the sky blue? Apparently the answer is due to the fact that air molecules scatter more blue light than other wavelengths. And of course our eyes and brains are designed to perceive blue wavelengths of light as blue. Why though? Why were we made this way? There is no answer. It just is that way. There is a Higher Intelligence that knows, but It won't tell us just by our demanding to know.

There seem to be some criteria that we need to meet to persuade the Higher Intelligence to reveal Its secrets to us. Ethics, discipline, spiritual practice, done for years-- this seems to be way. Looking inwards rather than always outwards. Conducting experiments within the laboratory of one's own mind, rather than always in a physical laboratory.

A key criteria seems to be surrender say the yogis. Trusting that this Higher Intelligence wants the best for each one of us, connecting with It somehow (through methods known as spiritual practices), and then, most importantly letting It get on with it.

This is very difficult. Our worrying nature and needing to have satisfactory answers all the time to our questions can get in the way of surrender.

The Higher Intelligence or God is said to be extraordinary, impossible for our little human intellects to even begin to comprehend. Its manifestations, both in terms of the physical world and our inner world, are so diverse and varied, that we would not be able to understand it even after many lifetimes of study.

Yet we ask this Intelligence "What are You doing? Why are You doing this? How did this happen?" etc etc. We also tell It-- "I want this to happen but not that to happen". "I am pleased You did this but I really don't like that You did that". Despite our lack of understanding of things, our worries compel us to tell the universe what to do.

The Universe, God, Higher Intelligence cares about us, because we are literally made up of Him/Her. In the scriptures, the yogis use the analogy of a spider in an attempt to describe the connection between God and the universe. A spider produces a fine, strong, silken thread from its body and weaves a wonderfully intricate web in which it resides. Later, when it has had enough, it eats the old web thus recycling the material, and then creates a new one when it pleases. 

Similarly God is said to create this universe out of Him/Herself, maintain it for a while, and then draw it back into Him/Herself. Why, we ask? To find out, we take to the spiritual path. How can we find happiness in this world, we ask. Again, the answer is the spiritual path, say the yogis. We need to find the Weaver of the universal web to discover our happiness.

There is a World Wide Web today which is comprised of all the information online-- this is a modern web that connects us. But the yogis say, the real web is much bigger, and it connects all beings, all life. And most interesting of all, the Weaver of this web, is hidden within each one of us. Just as the spider lives in its beautiful web, so too the Divine resides in the material 'web' that It has created.

This Divine Weaver weaves in mysterious ways, He/She is our true identity, we are ourselves the weaver and the world we create for ourselves, both internal and external, is our very own web. We can trap ourselves or free ourselves depending upon how we approach our lives. 

If we reject our connection with the Divine Weaver within, our lives can unravel very quickly. It is hard work then to repair the mess. A delicate web, once broken, takes great effort to repair. If we recognise that we are in fact one with the Divine Weaver within, the yogis tell us we can weave the most beautiful things, a life that is truly blessed.

And so, the yogis tell us to be vigilant. Be careful, they say. Watch what you weave in your life. Make sure the thread you create frees you and does not bind you down. Weave the thread of virtues, of discipline, of surrender into your life, they tell us.

All this is not easy to do, because our minds are created with many layers. And as we walk the spiritual path, we begin to discover these layers and dealing with them can be challenging. One aspect of the mind is prepared to surrender but another aspect often is not (this is known as the 'ahamkara' in Sanskrit or the 'ego', the individual self which wrongly feels it knows best, better than the Higher Intelligence).

Despite the complexity of the universal web in which we live, despite our tendency to want everything our own way, despite our egoistic nature, the yogis tell us that we must learn to surrender to the Divine Creator of this web. 

What does this surrender mean? I was reflecting upon this recently. It seems to involve a sense of trust, of faith, and also of giving up the need to know everything all the time. One trusts God as one's true wellwisher and friend. One has faith that He/She exists and is wise, good and capable of ensuring our welfare. And because one has this trust and faith, one gives up the need to know all the answers.

Small children often ask their parents "Why?". It is not always easy to explain everything to a curious but not yet fully developed toddler mind so one tries to provide a simple answer set at the level of understanding of the child. Similarly, when we ask the universe, "Why?", we probably get a relatively simple answer based on our limited human capacity to understand things that are way beyond us.

As children of the Divine, we can trust that He/She loves us and will weave a beautiful life for us, if only we can allow this to happen. We need to trust the Divine, have faith and connect with Him/Her through spiritual practice. 

Part of the process, I feel, involves saying "I don't know, and I don't need to know. I'm tired of asking 'Why?'. You know what You are doing, and that is good enough for me. Because I trust You, I have faith in You, I know You will do only what is good for me and all the world. Please just allow me to play my part in this world in accordance with Your wishes".

And this surrender, this giving up the need to know everything, can help us to worry a little less in an increasingly uncertain, complicated world. A world that sometimes feels like a messy web, rather than a beautiful one. We are free though, to consult the Divine within and weave our own future, our own destiny. 

Sivananda reminds us that we are 'masters of our destiny'. We are free to act as we please in general (but must then face the consequences in accordance with the law of karma). He says that the more we connect with the Divine within, the more truly free we become (free of the vagaries of the mind and our lower nature/ego).

Speaking of spiritual practices, all mantras to the Divine will help to generate this feeling of surrender over time. We can therefore recite any one we like for as long as is comfortable for us every day (even a little will be beneficial over time).

However, when we feel particularly in need for protection, when we feel we really need to call out to that compassionate aspect of the Divine within for help in negotiating this complex web of life, there are specific mantras that we can chant. These are mantras for protection and of surrender ('sharanagati mantras').

I have mentioned some of these below (these mantras are described in Sivananda's book 'Japa yoga' and in his translation of the 'Devi Mahatmyam'): 

a) Sri Krishnah sharanam mama

b) Sri Ramah sharanam mama

c) Om Sri Sita-Ramah sharanam mama

d) Om Sri Ramachandrau charanau sharanam prapadye

e) Om Durgam devim sharanam-aham prapadye 

f) Om Neelam devim sharanam-aham prapadye

g) Om Sriman Narayana charanau sharanam prapadye

(Broadly these mantras mean "I seek refuge in/surrender to Krishna/Sita/Durga/Rama/Narayana")

h) "Om namostu te Mahayogin, Prappanam-anushadhi mam, 

Yatha tvaccharanam-bhoje, rati syadana-payini"

(Meaning as per Sivananda: 

"Salutations to You, O great Yogin! Pray, direct me who have fallen at Your Feet, so that I may find unfailing delight in Your Lotus-feet.")

Om.

May God, the Divine Weaver of this universe, bless us all. May He/She guide us so that we may weave a beautiful life that will be a blessing for both ourselves and others.

Om Namo Narayanaya.

Hari Aum Tat Sat.