Religious acceptance, kindness and the grace of God

Hari Aum.

I would like to share a few thoughts on the subject of religious acceptance (I’m deliberately not using the phrase ‘religious tolerance’ as this has a somewhat negative connotation implying that there is something undesirable that one has to ‘tolerate’. ‘Acceptance’ sounds much more understanding and embracing than mere ‘tolerance’ and that is what is needed).

As we all know, human beings are frequently at war with each other. Whether it is in the home or at work or on a larger scale between countries, there is perpetually some form of conflict on this planet. It destroys happiness and peace but yet we fight each other with no empathy, self-awareness or sense.

Therefore before discussing religious acceptance, I’d like to briefly reflect upon religious fanaticism which is sadly a major source of conflict between people. There are fanatics in every religion and philosophy (there are also those who are fanatical about atheism). Humans have an extraordinary capacity to be fanatical. What is the meaning of the word ‘fanatic’? The Cambridge online dictionary provides the following definition: “a person who has very extreme beliefs that may lead them to behave in unreasonable or violent ways”.

Why do we humans become fanatical? The yogis would say this is rooted in ego, in pride. We have a natural tendency to like to feel superior to others. We like to think we look better, have more wealth, are more intelligent, are more noble and have more success than others. Sadly, we also have a tendency to bring this attitude to our spiritual lives. We like to think our religion is better, our spiritual practice is better than that of others. Some people like to feel that they are much more spiritually advanced than others (when usually this is not the case).

Unfortunately for us, spirituality and ego move in diametrically opposite directions. The more ego, the more superiority we bring into our spiritual lives, the more we move away from God and shut the door upon His grace. This is why we make little or no spiritual progress even after many years of spiritual practice. 

None of us is perfect. If we were, we would not need to follow a spiritual path—we would experience our natural spiritual state of closeness to God. But we are where we are. And it is wisdom to acknowledge that. We do not ourselves any favours by pretending otherwise.

So having accepted that we are all imperfect and in need of the grace of God, let us examine our behaviour on this planet. One terrible manifestation of ego is religious violence. The hand that raises a sword or fires a gun or sets off a bomb to harm others is a terrible hand indeed. The tongue that mocks the true devotion of other spiritual practitioners is a terrible tongue indeed. The mind that thinks cruel thoughts and hates true devotees of another spiritual path is a terrible mind indeed. There is absolutely no genuine spirituality at all in these terrible minds, tongues and hands-- it is the basest, most dreadful manifestation of the ego.

We are all unfortunately susceptible to this terrible behaviour, that manifests due to uncontrolled ego, when we lose self-awareness. We must recognise this and correct ourselves whenever we drift in this spiritually dangerous direction.

It is not wrong to speak up against violent fanatics of any religion. But it is wrong to support fanatics of our own religion while condemning and mocking the true devotees of other religions.

Sadly we find ourselves repeating this mistake over and over again. We are drawn to support all members of our own religion, including the harmful fanatical elements, while condemning all members of other religions including the true devotees of God.

As we know, the Gurus of the Advaita Vedanta philosophy (the mainstream, most widely-practiced form of Sanathana Dharma or Hinduism) emphatically declare that there is one God and that this one God has many names, forms and manifestations. Among the many names of God, the yogis tell us that Narayana, Shiva, Krishna, Rama, Durga, Shakti, Ganesha, Subramanya are some important ones. Equally, they tell us the names of Buddha, Jesus, Mary, Allah and Jehovah are sacred and worthy of our reverence.

They also describe various sins or offences against these holy names; this is written at the end of the Japa Yoga book by Sivananda. He mentions ten offences against the holy names and mantras of God which must we need to take care to avoid as much as possible in order to make spiritual progress. Two of these are: “vilification of saints and devotees”, and “differentiation among divine names’.

To put it simply, people who worship Rama while despising Allah and Jesus and their true devotees cut themselves off from the grace of Rama. 
Similarly, those people who worship Allah while hating the true devotees of Rama and Jesus shut the door upon the grace of Allah. 

Equally, those people who regard themselves as devotees of Jesus but despise and vilify the true devotees of Rama and Allah will be closed off from the grace of Jesus. 

After years of so-called devotion, such egoistic people remain hard-hearted and cruel, devoid of empathy and compassion towards others, and then wonder why they make no spiritual progress.

The yogis tell us that the sublime, sacred spiritual feelings that arise in all true devotees when they contemplate God are the same, whether they worship Rama, Allah or Jesus (these sublime feelings are absent in the crude, egoistic consciousness of fanatical followers who only succeed in offending God and earning His punishment by committing violence in His name).
 
The grace of God comes to us in proportion to our empathy towards others (devotees, atheists, agnostics and all), our ability to control our ego and practice kindness towards all beings (including animals, insects and plants) as much as is possible.
 
We widely open the doors of our consciousness to His presence and grace when we rejoice in the true devotion of others to Him, whether they belong to our own or another religion. A genuine devotee of God will always delight in the sincere devotion of others in God because he/she knows the joy of worshipping God. In fact, a true devotee will always feel love towards other devotees of God, whether they worship Him by the same or different names. It is only those who have never truly tasted devotion to God who despise the devotion of others.
 
Please note that (as I mentioned in a previous  post ‘being spiritual does not involve being a doormat’), the need to become self-aware and control our ego, does not imply that we allow harmful people to walk a all over us and abuse us. As a doctor, I have met many patients who have suffered intensely and been psychologically damaged due to the selfish, toxic, abusive behaviour of people around them (including family members in particular as we have no choice in selecting them; it is our karma to have had contact with them-- we need to learn and grow from this experience).
 
When dealing with such toxic individuals (especially if they are biologically related to us), it can take time to recognise that they are destroying our lives (both healthwise and spiritually). But once this recognition dawns and the truth is clearly before us without any doubt, that is the time to take wise action. And the wisest thing to do is to kindly and firmly show them the door. It is very difficult to set clear boundaries with toxic individuals as they are accustomed to not caring about the feelings of others; being disrespectful and regularly transgressing the boundaries of others is the norm for them. 

Maintaining a healthy relationship with them is virtually impossible--they expect the highest standards of behaviour from others at all times and are completely unforgiving of anyone else's errors. At the same time, they virtually never truly introspect, examine their own negative behaviours or make any improvements (their behaviour is deeply entrenched over one or more lifetimes); and while behaving in this appalling manner, they expect others to instantly forgive the harm they do. Sadly therefore, psychologists almost unanimously declare that relationships with such people must inevitably end if one wants to live a healthy life.

Showing such egoistic toxic individuals the door protects us from further harm and allows us space to heal from the damage they have inflicted. It also gives the toxic individuals the opportunity to reflect and change if they choose to do so--but that is really none of our concern, it is between them and God. They will face the consequences of their karma, as we all must do. We cannot rely upon them at all and must focus on taking excellent care of our own health, sanity and spiritual lives by maintaining a safe and healthy distance.

There is simply no wisdom in sacrificing oneself at the altar of their ego. The only correct place to sacrifice oneself is before the altar of God, the one who has our best interests at heart. We cannot allow selfish, toxic people and fanatics to destroy our precious lives when we have so much to give to the world, so much to do and achieve, including and especially in our spiritual lives.

 
So we have to walk this tightrope—being self-aware and cautious in not offending other true devotees while accepting them fully. And keeping out of our lives, toxic individuals and religious egoistic fanatics who sin against God and try to drag us down with them. It is a challenging balance indeed but it must be done if we are to progress spiritually. It takes honesty and courage to walk the spiritual path and that is what we need to maintain this balance.
 
Praise be to God in all His manifestations, including Narayana, Allah, Jesus, Shiva, Durga, Jehovah and Buddha. May He give us all good sense and intense true devotion to Him. May we receive His grace and prosper, both spiritually and materially.
 
Om Namo Narayanaya.
 
Hari Aum Tat Sat.