Hari Aum.
The yogis teach that death is a continuation of life. The soul which inhabits the body continues its journey of spiritual evolution after death.
This post is being written as a tribute to the Irish singer, Sinead O'Connor who passed away yesterday (the cause of death has not been revealed; however she had significant mental health issues and had openly admitted to have been suffering intensely since the death of her son by suicide last year).
As many of you would know, she was an iconic figure known all over the world (and one of my favourite singers), amazingly talented, very courageous and and also at times, controversial. Her life seems to have been one filled with great pain and sorrow throughout (beginning with the appalling abuse meted out to her by her mother and ending soon after the passing of her son). I hope and pray that she, and others like her (who have lived a life of painful abuse) find peace.
In the Gita, Krishna says that death is certain for those who live, and birth (rebirth) is certain for those who die (unless they attain spiritual Realisation during their lifetime or at the time of death).
Death may be certain, but the type of death is not certain; that depends upon our karmas during our lifetime (and previous lifetimes). All of us must die one day, and it is our daily deeds and spiritual practice that determine whether our death will peaceful, difficult or a mixture of the two.
And our deeds are a product of our minds, and our minds are deeply influenced by our childhood and upbringing. The 'programming' of our minds when we are young by our parents and other caregivers can help or hinder us in our life journey.
It is said, in the world of psychology, that the adult version of each of us, houses an inner child. The child version of ourselves never completely disappears even after we grow up; it still exists in a little corner of our being.
The experiences that we may have been through in childhood, both happy and sad, both wonderful and traumatic, remain with us, within our minds in the form of this inner child. Healing any suffering undergone by this inner child is necessary to heal ourselves, for the adult version of ourselves to feel truly happy and fulfilled.
To give an example, I had a consultation with a patient recently, a young woman in her late 20s, who told me that she frequently had angry outbursts that were affecting her life and relationships. She was anxious that this could be a symptom of some serious underlying mental health issue (such as a personality disorder or even bipolar disorder).
On delving a little into her medical history, it was revealed that she had undergone a significant amount of physical and psychological abuse as a child. This abuse was not something that she had had an opportunity to process and deal with.
There was nothing in her medical history to suggest that she had any issue other than significant anger management issues. In the world of psychology, anger (and sometimes tremendous anger) can sometimes be regarded as an understandable reaction to having experienced serious abuse by those who should have been there for us, who had a duty to care for and love us, especially those who brought us into this world, i.e. parents in particular, but this can also apply to other relatives and persons in positions of trust, such as religious figures and teachers.
Now no parent can be expected to be perfect, and many may have their own issues in life that impact their ability to care for children; however, nothing can ever justify any form of abuse by anyone. If we have experienced any sort of trauma in life, we have a duty to seek professional help and sort this out (and not take it out on those around us).
Like with many other mental health conditions, treatment for anger/anxiety issues can include medication or talking therapies and, as doctors, we are very much guided by patient preference (there is no question of forcing of any treatment on the patient).
I suggested to this particular patient that her significant anger issues may perhaps be related to her childhood experiences of significant abuse and that speaking with a trained counsellor about this, with a view to processing it and letting it go over time, may be worth exploring (this does not work for everyone but can be of help to many). I reassured her that there did not seem to be any evidence of any other disorder at the present time. She agreed with this suggestion and I therefore made arrangements for her to have access to this type of treatment.
Coming back to Sinead O'Connor, her life seems to be one of tragedy, of unhealed abuse of the most terrifying kind. And the extent of abuse that she suffered as a child, was so intense that she seems to have carried the burden of it all her life. As is often the case, this appears to have affected her very sense of self, her sense of self-worth.
And speaking of anger issues related to abuse, she was known for expressing her anger (sometimes in quite a dramatic way) when she felt she needed to. She spoke up strongly against those individuals and institutions which were shown to have committed acts of abuse and called for justice for their victims. She attempted to provide a voice for those who did not have one. Unfortunately, though, it appears that she was plagued by her own suffering and had thoughts of suicide right until the very end of her relatively short life.
Speaking of suicide, while death by this method can sometimes seem appealing to those for whom life sadly feels like an endless round of suffering, the yogis firmly declare that this is absolutely not a solution. In fact, they declare that suicide only exacerbates the problem. In their view, the soul that ends its life in the body of its own accord and departs the Earth often finds itself in a state of confusion and significant distress. Furthermore, the karmas that it was trying to escape in the first place will all need to be faced and dealt with one day in a future lifetime. And this is likely to be a very challenging experience.
Therefore, from a spiritual perspective, the yogis firmly but kindly say that suicide can never be an answer to the problems we may face in life. However, it is a fact that depression is very common today (especially post-pandemic) and suicidal thoughts are relatively common in those who experience depression (even if they have no plans to ever act on them). If one is depressed, and having dark thoughts of this sort, the sensible approach according to the yogis (and modern medicine), would be to see a doctor urgently and get help.
As I have mentioned in previous posts, all souls are connected, regardless of the labels we place upon ourselves (whether family, friends, strangers or anything else).
So, today, I propose that we pray for Sinead O'Connor, and for all those whom she represents, namely people who have undergone extraordinary suffering in life, who may be known and unknown to us.
While all mantras of God can be recited for the peace of departed souls, the Mahamrityunjaya mantra (of Lord Shiva) in particular is granted a special place. This mantra is recited daily for this purpose in the ashram of Swami Sivananda (and this is followed in many other spiritual traditions too).
Let us therefore recite the Mahamrityunjaya mantra for a few minutes for the peace of this extremely talented singer and fellow soul, whose life contained an unusual amount of suffering, and who had the courage and conviction to use her own life experience to work for the betterment of others.
Let us also pray for her son whose death by suicide last year caused her so much anguish. May they both find peace and rest at last. May God bless them and all those who have been through a similar experience. May God give mental peace and strength to all beings on Earth.
Om Trayambakam Yajamahe, Sugandhim pushti vardhanam,
Urva rukamiva bandhanan-mrityor mukshiya mamritat.
Meaning:
Om I worship the Three-eyed Lord Shiva, who is fragrant (with virtues), the One who nourishes all.
Just as a ripe cucumber falls away from the stalk (that binds it), may I too fall away from death (that binds me) for the sake of immortality.
Om Namah Shivaya.
Om Namo Narayanaya.
Hari Aum Tat Sat.
P.S. I will leave you with a link to the famous song that made Sinead O'Connor well-known all over the world: "Nothing compares to you" (I feel the overall sentiment of this beautiful song could apply to God, Guru and also to all those whom we love uniquely in our lives):
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