Hari Aum.
In the world of medicine, we talk about something known as the 'fight or flight response'. Many of you may be familiar with this term which describes a physical response to stress.
When we are anxious or stressed by something, our bodies react by rapidly producing a cocktail of stress hormones (especially adrenaline). The role of these is to protect ourselves. These hormones cause our hearts to beat very quickly thus sending plenty of oxygen to our muscles. We can then choose to stay and fight, or turn and flee, whichever we feel is the best option depending upon the threat that we perceive.
If it is a tiger, we may turn and run away as quickly as possible. If it is an aggressive person we are compelled to face, we may have no choice but to stay as calm as possible (externally!) and try and defuse the situation as best as we can. Either way our fight-or-flight response is our mind and body's instinctive response to protect us in stressful situations.
I have also observed that this happens in spiritual life. When something unexpected happens here, we can feel stressed. When we are stressed, our response towards God may also be to either fight or flee. In both the waking and dream states, there are certain things that we are accustomed to, things that are familiar and that we would class as quite normal.
However, when things begin to happen, either in the waking state or in dreams or both, that do not fit with our experiences till date, or our expectations of how things should be, we can feel quite distraught and stressed. There usually is nobody to immediately run to for a definitive solution. We find that we are expected to figure this out ourselves with the help of God and Guru.
It is inevitable that during the course of spiritual life, provided one has a consistent spiritual practice (no matter how simple) and one at least attempts to follow the yogic ethics, that some experiences will begin to happen. The purpose of these is likely to encourage us to continue, a sort of reassurance that we have the grace and protection of our Guru and God, and sometimes they can also be a few spiritual tests.
As I mentioned, the typical inbuilt response of the human mind, when dealing with such unexpected situations is to feel stressed by it all, and alternate between fighting or fleeing these experiences.
Whether fighting or fleeing, we are in a state of resistance towards God. "I don't like this", we say, "Stop it now! I refuse to accept what You are doing (fighting)", or "I'm going to stop/change my spiritual practice, as I don't like the results! (fleeing)". "This is not what I wanted as the result of my spiritual practices."
And if we feel particularly cross with God, we might even dare to say, "I think You are being really mean to me! I don't know why anyone would ever call You an 'ocean of compassion' as You don't seem to be showing me any! First You design this world full of people with never-ending problems, and then You have the audacity to get annoyed with Your own creation! If You don't like my behaviour, why did You create me in the first place? Why did You create this world? What is the matter with You?!"
"Why this, and why that? What, when, why, where, how, who!". Lots of questions pour into our minds as our human intellects struggle to make sense of what is happening.
After a while, one calms down a bit. And possibly goes to a temple, a place of calm and quiet. :) A place where the turbulent mind finds some peace. And here, when we pray, we receive some answers. Some clarity appears regarding our many questions and (often self-created) problems.
One such situation happened with me today. I've made no secret of the fact that the past couple of years has been filled both with blessings and with challenges-- there have been both positive, encouraging experiences and negative, difficult ones (this of course fits with the experience of our world of duality described by the yogis).
When I went to my local temple earlier today to join in some spiritual singing, I merely looked at the deity (Krishna in this case) and mentally said "I am not going to repeat all my issues, as You know them anyway. Please just resolve everything on all fronts, both spiritual and material". I then enjoyed myself singing along with a large group of people and it was very pleasant.
Some hours after I got home, it dawned upon me that my approach towards these experiences given by God is the cause of my problems (rather than the experiences themselves). All religions emphasise the spirit of service to God. They all teach that the most effective approach that brings peace to the mind is to actively seek the service of God.
Many of us do this as part of our spiritual practice (in the world of yoga, we call the path of service of God 'karma yoga'). However, we are usually less happy to take this approach when stuff happens that we do not like. Then our prayer to God is usually to fix it, make it go away or something along those lines. "No", we say, "I can't be having with this!".
Whereas what we should probably say is "Ok, so You've created this situation/given me these experiences that I do not understand and I accept this". "Now tell me, how can I serve You with this? What do You want me to do?".
There is a shift in focus when asking this question about service. Instead of asking God "What can You do for me, Why are You doing this to me?" (there's a lot of me, me in this approach), one shifts the focus to God and says "Ok, what can I do for You? How can I serve You?".
And, the yogis say, God is generally pleased with this approach, and we are very likely to find that He/She will answer this question if we ask sincerely.
In a previous post, I mentioned that we spiritual seekers may go from "No way" to "Ok" in these cases. But this "Ok" is still lacking enthusiasm, it is a bit nervous and cautious, and not entirely sure. A more enthusiastic spiritual approach would be "How can I serve You with this xyz situation/event/etc that You have created in my life?".
A bit of spiritual enthusiasm is probably what is needed. For example, when I had the dream of Mother Kali last September, my response was to go into major flight mode (instead of being grateful and happy). I did not dare to meditate for a few days, I was positively petrified of looking inwards at the heart chakra, I was fearful that I might be becoming the victim of some Kundalini malfunction. (Nothing untoward happened though, it was all self-generated fear).
I was ready to give up all my spiritual practice, and did the bare minimum number of malas of mantra japa until I calmed down and mustered up the courage to restart my practice a few days later. Similarly, when other odd events have occurred in recent years, I find that my first response is to shut down and go into the usual spiritual fight or flight mode. Really not helpful at all, I now realise.
Anyway, as in all spheres of life, the first step to resolving a problem is to recognise there is a problem, and that one needs to do something about it.
I feel the reply from Krishna today to my request to resolve all my problems was very simple-- I feel He told me to stop seeing them as problems. And instead, I feel His suggestion was for me to shift my approach to a more service-oriented one. And so, I am now changing my tune a little-- from "Why on Earth is all this happening?" and "I think You are really mean and lacking any compassion!" to "Ahem, thank You very much for these experiences. I haven't got a clue as what You are doing here, but please show me how I can serve You through these?".
As you can imagine and may also have experienced yourselves, it can take a while to change ingrained habits. So, it would be unrealistic to expect this spiritual shift to happen overnight. It will probably take several months (may be much longer) to really express this approach fully. But I am making a start at least. And every journey begins with the first step.
So, now I say to Krishna "Thank You, I can see that You are actually quite compassionate. I know You have a plan for everyone including me. Show me what You want me to do with what You have created in my life, what do You want from me?". The answer will always be spiritual progress no doubt, but this can be achieved via a variety of practices and actions-- and it is there that we will all need His guidance.
This actually reminds me-- at my school in Delhi, India many years ago, I recall the motto on the emblem was "Service before self". Like most other students, I never really thought deeply about it at the time. I was there from nursery to age 16 so it was something I just got used to seeing every day emblazoned on my uniform and at various places all over the school.
But I see now that there is good sense in this approach from a spiritual perspective. Service before self, at every step in spiritual life-- whether life is looking good, bad or downright ugly. One just can't go wrong with that motto.
This is not to say that one should not be sensible and take care of one's basic needs (as I have mentioned in other posts such as 'Being spiritual does not mean being a doormat' and 'selfishness, martyrdom and spiritual balance')-- but yes, I can see the wisdom of this approach more clearly now.
So, I'd like to suggest this approach may be worth trying for anyone else who is experiencing any oddities or challenges in spiritual life or life generally. Instead of the usual fight or flight response towards God, the 'service before self' approach may be more useful (I will keep you posted on how this goes in my case! :)
On that note, I will conclude with:
Om Namo Narayanaya dasoham tava Keshava.
Hari Aum Tat Sat.
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