Hari Aum.
Om Namo Narayanaya.
Brahmacharya is a Sanskrit word that consists of a combination of two words-- Brahman and Acharya. It literally means the activity or conduct of the Supreme Being, Brahman. And a key feature of Brahman is the absence of any worldly desire.
One who has fully conquered all material desire is called a true brahmachari. According to Sivananda, only one who is fully enlightened can be called a true brahmachari. The state of samadhi is attained when one become free of all worldly desires.
The Upanisads famously declare "Tat Tvam Asi" i.e. "You are That (Brahman)". And, "Aham Brahmasmi" i.e "I am Brahman (applies to each one of us)".
The great Guru of ancient times, Adi Sankara, declared
"Brahman satya, Jagat mitya. Jivo Brahmaiva Na Aparah."
Meaning: "Brahman alone is true/real, the material world is a (temporary) illusion/false. The individual soul (Jiva) is no different from Brahman (the Supreme Truth/Being)".
But despite these declarations, we still feel that we are jivas, individual souls. And we are full of worldly desires. We cannot be perfect brahmacharis right away even if we want to be-- because we are yet to recognise our oneness with Brahman/the Supreme.
To overcome our material desires, as spiritual seekers, our Gurus advise us to practice brahmacharya to the best of our ability based upon our individual life circumstances. This involves paying attention to our minds, the number of worldly desires that we have and managing these in a spiritually beneficial way.
Brahmacharya for a spiritual seeker is often associated with control of sexual energy in particular. Yogis regard the desire for sex as the most powerful desire in existence (as it is, after all, associated with creation). Handing this desire is one of the greatest challenges of spiritual life according to them (and many of us would probably have experienced this ourselves, particularly if we have been walking the spiritual path for a while).
The yogis tell us that sexual energy is a manifestation of the divine energy called the Kundalini (that rests in most people in the energy centre at the base of the spine). This is the energy of God. It is a sacred energy. Contrary to widely-held beliefs in both material and spiritual circles, there is nothing impure, wrong or dirty about sexual energy in itself. It is a pure energy.
However, to be expressed as a pure energy, this Kundalini/sexual energy needs to be handled with the divine qualities of ahimsa/non-violence and satya/truthfulness. (When it is expressed with hatred, violence, exploitation and falsehood, unrighteous behaviours such as rape and cheating occur which lead us spiritually downwards.)
Not all spiritual seekers are obliged to express their sexual energy. Some choose to be lifelong celibates. And that is perfectly fine if that is their true calling in accordance with the will of God. This is one form of 'brahmacharya' meant for those living monastic lives in the yoga tradition.
However, the majority of spiritual seekers (both in ancient and modern times), do choose to express their sexual energy. Usually this is within the bounds of a long-term relationship or marriage. Many Gurus, including Sivananda, have stated that householders/people who are married/in relationships, are also expected to practice brahmacharya, or control the expression of sexual energy. Aside from practicing ahimsa and satya, they advise doing so by being moderate in sexual relations (the definition of 'moderate' depends upon on the couple) and learning to see the divine in our partners.
There are many people today professing that sex can be a spiritual path. I would politely disagree (and I would respectfully recommend avoiding anyone offering to teach sacred sex as there are a large number of false and dangerous 'Gurus' in the world today who are ever ready to exploit gullible spiritual seekers; we hear of this regularly in all spiritual circles).
It is true that sexual energy is a pure energy. And sex therefore can indeed be a sacred, pure act. But the spirituality of sex cannot be taught to anyone. Anymore than spirituality in general can be taught to anyone.
Spirituality has to arise from within (you cannot learn to be spiritually hungry anymore than you can learn to be hungry for material food). Spiritual desire comes as a result of the grace of God. And when it manifests, it begins to encompass everything on its own, be it eating, sleeping, working, sex and pretty much all actions in daily life.
To allow spirituality to arise naturally from within, the Gurus say that one of the best paths is the combination of mantra recitation and karma yoga (service of humanity). Prolonged regular practice of these two techniques enables us to become firmly established upon the spiritual path.
Some say that sexual thoughts gradually reduce as spirituality increases. Others say that the awakening and activity of the Kundalini energy within them, creates intense sexual thoughts (this is more so when the Kundalini is active in the lower chakras). So, the expression of sexual energy may increase or decrease at different times in spiritual life depending upon the will of God and our karma (for example, whether or not we are destined to have children etc).
As the Kundalini can only be controlled safely by the grace of God, the Gurus tell us that it is essential for us to adhere to regular spiritual practice, to recite our chosen mantra or name of God every day. Our ishta devata, or favourite form of the Divine, helps to direct our Kundalini energy gradually from the lower chakras/energy centres towards the higher ones (such as the heart and the forehead chakras).
Before I conclude, it would be remiss of me not to mention twin soul sexuality. What a tricky topic this can be. What is the technique to practice ahimsa, satya and brahmacharya when one has such a complex soul connection?
Twin souls, as I've mentioned previously, have a strong energetic/astral connection. Their energy centres or chakras are interconnected, and as a result of this, they also have a strong sexual connection. This is felt when they are in each other's presence, but also when they are miles apart. In many cases, this energy is never acted upon in a physical sense.
In fact, the main purpose of this connection is said to be to trigger an awakening of the Kundalini in each other; in other words to cause a spiritual awakening.
My current understanding is that the practice of ahimsa and satya for twin soul sexuality is for them to privately acknowledge to themselves that this connection exists (without any violence towards themselves or any unhealthy guilt or shame regarding this). And, the practice of brahmacharya for twin souls involves being sexually faithful to their chosen life partners as long as they remain in those relationships.
Ultimately it is up to each spiritual seeker, including twin souls, to learn to manage their own Kundalini or sexual energy. It is up to each one of us to find a way to direct this sacred energy, given to us by the universe, upwards towards the higher energy centres or chakras for the sake of spiritual progress.
And, as we do so, it helps to remember that this is a gradual process that can take much time and patience. And also, that sexual energy is a manifestation of the divine Kundalini-- in other words, it is a pure energy, the source of all creation and should be treated with the respect that is due to any other divine energy.
Om Sri Shaktyai Namah.
Om Sri Durgayai Namah.
Om Namo Narayanaya.
Hari Aum Tat Sat.
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