The not-so-dark night of the soul

 Hari Aum.

I am writing this for all spiritual seekers, especially twin souls, who will one day go through this experience. I wrote my first detailed post on this subject in January 2019 when I was going through it myself. I have been through it again since —and I admit it is never easy.

I do want to say that, although the dark night of the soul can indeed be very dark, it is not quite so dark as it initially seems.

There is a light within us, a flame that never goes out. It is the light of the Divine. 

We are mostly unaware of this when we are spiritually asleep. In the dark night of the soul, we begin to wake up spiritually. It is terrible but also a beautiful time. Because, in this darkness, our own light is revealed. 

Our connection with the Divine is strengthened during this time. We emerge much stronger spiritually when the process is completed.

To those who are going through this, I just want to say —hang in there. It is going to get better. And you are not alone. The Divine is with you always. This is the greatest truth. 

We cannot see the face of God every moment. But if we have a regular spiritual practice, no matter how small we may think it is, we will feel His/Her presence and protection. There will be ups and downs but, at every step, we will feel He is there for us.

This is not imagination. When you call out for help, you will receive it. This has happened with me so many times that I have lost count; whether it is a small or major issue, I feel the response of the Divine. It happens this way for many spiritual seekers. And it is not because we are advanced spiritually. Not at all. 

It is because we are dear to the Divine. Despite our many flaws, and the resulting suffering we experience on this planet, we are loved by Him/Her. This applies to every one of us (no matter our opinion of ourselves or those of others). It is simply the reality. 

Whatever happens in life, therefore, we must stay in touch with our favourite form (or formless aspect) of the Divine. We can achieve this by doing a daily spiritual practice such as mantra japa (which our Gurus advise as a particularly potent method). 

Do not stop your spiritual practice in the middle of the dark night. There are forces in the universe that would like you to stop, but do not give in to them. You need the light of your spiritual practice to keep you going so you can make it through safely. 

The Divine will help you to keep going; but we must also do our part. God helps those who help themselves, as the well-known saying goes.

Thus, even if spiritual practice feels very difficult in the middle of the dark night, keep it up. Reduce it if necessary. Make adjustments, relax non-essential rules. But never stop. Never, ever stop repeating the mantra every day (even if just for five minutes). 

Whatever happens, keep this up. This is my advice to myself and to you, my dear fellow spiritual seekers. This is the advice of our Gurus and we must follow it. It is the spiritual key to the golden dawn that appears after the dark night ends.

The more we progress spiritually, the more severe will be our spiritual tests. And we must pass these tests. It is our destiny. 

We are meant to experience the dazzling sun of the Divine once the dark night ends. We need to be patient and go through this process of spiritual awakening—as our Gurus did before us. 

It is Guru Purnima today. Following the teachings of our Gurus is the best way of expressing our reverence for them, and ensures that we receive their grace and blessings on the spiritual journey.

Om Sri Gurave Namah

Om Namo Narayanaya 

Hari Aum Tat Sat.

Message to the twin soul collective

 Hari Aum.

For some reason, this evening I felt like sharing my thoughts with the group of twin souls on the planet (never felt drawn to this before but I feel guided to do so and therefore here I am).

(I will write in the form of a stream of consciousness, rather than a very structured message. So, here goes. I will say at the outset that I have more questions than answers, by the way)

As a group of spiritual seekers we know what we have been through. We know what others on this journey have been through. And, we know it has not been easy.

I am not going to outline our typical common experiences here. We all know what they are, and there are far better websites out there that explain these. I want to focus more on the present and the future, rather than what we have already been through.

We've all been walking this journey for some time now (from some years, to some decades; and in most cases, many lifetimes).

What are we going to do with this connection? Many of us are in broadly similar situations.

We feel a bond, an energetic bond with our twin. We are all in various different far-flung places on the planet, far away from each other and generally, at some physical distance from our twin.

Karmics abound in the picture-- spouses, children and other relatives of all shapes and sizes. They're everywhere, and they are just fantastic and wonderful, all of them. Only issue is they are mostly not twin souls and have no idea what we are going through. Not so easy handling them therefore.

Spiritual guides also abound on this journey. Some are real and some are not. Various words and phrases are bandied about, including but not limited to: spiritual growth, going inwards, unconditional love, healing, purging, karmas, chakras, kundalini, meditation, spiritual purpose, cleansing, ancestral bonds, mission, higher self, lower self, union, separation, ego, death, rebirth, starseeds, angels and more.

What next, my dear friends, my fellow twin souls?

What are we going to do now, after everything we have been through?

We have meditated till we are blue in the face, we've healed and purged, and purged and healed. We are relatively adept at handling karmas (by holding the hand of the Divine). We are in touch with our spiritual guides (who seem to expect us to take some responsibility for this journey ourselves instead of asking for help constantly).

So, what, my dear twin soul friends, are we meant to do next? 

Years ago, when I started on the path of mantra purascharana, I asked in my very first post, if anyone had any experiences to share for mutual learning.

I feel a similar way now about this journey. It is very mysterious. I have more questions than answers currently with regard to this.

Much has happened over the years, particularly in the past four. 

The main questions I currently have are:

1. What does the universe specifically want from us twin souls? (I don't mean vague airy-fairy stuff like 'spiritual growth' etc as described above. I am talking about very specifically from each one of us, what is expected from us by the Divine? Why are we in the specific situation that we are in?)

2. Are we collectively bonkers? Is this a group hallucination? How can these experiences really have happened? 

I am especially saying this on behalf of those of us of a more scientific temperament. We may be spiritual seekers, but we are also doctors, engineers and people from other scientific backgrounds. We have undergone rigorous scientific training in our respective subjects and often at relatively prestigious educational institutions in various parts of the world (and these do not encourage much spiritual thinking, yet here we are!). 

Do you therefore sometimes pinch yourself and wonder if you are dreaming? How can this stuff be happening for real? Even as spiritual seekers, knowing that spiritual laws transcend scientific ones, we still feel the need to sometimes shake our heads in disbelief at the things the universe has done in our lives. 

We are often completely grounded in reality in all aspects of our lives, except the twin soul aspect which does not follow any ordinary rules. 

Dreams, numbers, signs, synchronicities and other utterly baffling events take place regularly in our lives. The universe merrily continues to play this game with us while we look around bewildered and wondering what it wants from us.

Do you know what the universe wants from us? I do not want the usual clichéd nonsense (such as unconditional love, spiritual growth-- we all know that stuff and are working on it anyway). I want very specific answers. 

What does God want with us, that He/She is playing this strange game? What is going on?

If you have any meaningful and helpful ideas and thoughts regarding this subject, please feel free to share your views here. Until then, I am going to say goodbye for now. I wish you spiritual progress (and maintenance of your sanity on this strange soul journey) in the meantime. :) 

Om Namo Narayanaya.

Hari Aum Tat Sat.

Giridhara: bhava and karma

 Hari Aum.

As our Gurus say, all karmic debts must be paid before we can experience our true divine nature as being one with God.

Sivananda gives the example of the famous Swami Vidyaranya (author of the panchadasi). He performed several purascharanas of the sacred Gayatri mantra of the Vedas and became frustrated that he had not yet obtained the darshan of Divine Mother Gayatri. Later, on completion of no less than 24 purascharanas of the 24 lettered Gayatri mantra, he attained Her darshan. 

He then discovered that this much mantra japa had been required to clear his karmic debt from previous lifetimes (including to erase the effects of past negative karma). He became frustrated at various stages during the long course of sadhana but continued his practice until all karmas was dissolved and he attained Self realisation.

So, the burning of karma requires much patience and many purascharanas based on the lives of our Gurus. 

On this arduous spiritual journey, many difficult karmas have to be experienced. Many challenges will manifest from both within and without. But the one who would attain the Divine must keep going.

The path of bhakti involves cultivation of a relationship with the Divine. This provides grace and protection when handling various challenging karmas.

This relationship with the Divine is based on a bhava or feeling that we experience when we think of Him/Her. There are five bhavas or spiritual emotions/feelings/relationships in spiritual life (I have outlined these in a previous post in October 2016; one can see God as a Master, a child, a friend, one's beloved or simply a peaceful presence).

For those of us who walk the path of bhakti, one of these bhavas will come to us most naturally. And when we cultivate this bhava with the help of spiritual practices, we will find we gradually progress spiritually.

In my case, I feel the sakha bhava, feeling of friendship, comes most naturally when it comes to Krishna. And, as I said in a recent post, He has proven time and again to be a most reliable friend. By His grace alone, my sadhana continues daily. And by His grace alone, it is slowly bearing fruit.

Let me give a recent example. Less than four weeks ago, I was going through a very hectic time (was in the process of finalising new job, organising various family-related celebrations and preparing for upcoming intense dance examination). In the midst of all this (perhaps as a result of overdoing things), I suddenly (literally overnight) developed extremely unpleasant knee pain (that was severe enough to trigger a blackout; and I have a decent pain threshold especially with all the migraines ). 

Anyway, it was terrible timing, not least from the perspective of the dance examination (this is a serious hobby and I had been working towards this patiently for months). I was deeply disappointed at the prospect of not being able to take the exam but felt I had little choice but to accept this. I arranged for some physiotherapy and it seemed likely that I would not be able to dance for weeks (a previous injury many years ago, had taken months to recover from).

However, on this occasion, my recovery was swift. After about ten days of avoiding any strenuous activity and doing physio, I cautiously experimented with some dance practice and found this to be quite ok. I had lost time but not so much that I had to give up all prospects of doing the exam. I put in additional effort and was grateful to be able to do the exam a few days ago {results awaited in a few weeks-- that is another matter altogether (though it seemed to have gone ok)!}.

I had a certain conviction after the sudden appearance of this health issue, and the rapid improvement, that this was an example of the Divine helping me handle my karma.

Health issues, like other challenges in life, are ultimately the result of past karma according to our Gurus. However, they say that worship of the Divine can help to reduce the intensity of suffering and in specific situations, nullify the effects of karma.

I feel that Krishna helped me to recover quickly on this occasion and to take the exam (that some of my fellow students decided to defer to next year due to the intense pressure of preparing three years worth of theory and practical study—all of which was on the syllabus) despite the health and other challenges I experienced.

He is known as 'Giridhara', the mountain-holder. As a child, growing up in Vraja, He is said to have famously lifted the sacred mountain (known as Govardhana) to protect the gopis and gopas from the severe rains inflicted upon them by the proud demi-god, Indra (who later contritely apologised to the Divine for his actions).

It is not only the Govardhana mountain that He lifts. He lifts the mountain of our past karmas, especially the negative ones. Like He protected the people of Vraja a few thousands of years ago, He protects His devotees of the present time too.

To access His grace and protection, the golden key is the recitation of His names and mantras. Despite many flaws in my devotion, I feel I receive His protection for the sole reason that I repeat a few malas of one of His mantras (the ashtakshara of Narayana) daily. I am certain that, on this occasion, the mantra helped me to recover rapidly after my knee injury. 

So, I feel the best 'sakha' (meaning 'friend' in Sanskrit) is Krishna alone. In the sacred scripture known as the Bhagavatam, His wife (and avatar of Lakshmi), Rukmini, famously declared that any woman with even a bit of sense would choose Him over all others. And, many of His devotees will certainly agree.

After nearly fifteen years on the path of being a householder devotee, I can say that, while there may be many excellent 'purushas' (literally 'men' in Sanskrit, but can also mean ‘people’ generally) on this planet, there is only one Purushottama (Supreme Being). 

It is natural for our relationships with family and friends to fluctuate with time; people in our lives may come and go as they please. But, the Purushottama never leaves us. Indeed, our bond with Him only deepens with time. And, difficult life events (such as health issues and so on), provide opportunities to experience His grace and protection and further strengthen this bond.

And no, those of us, who cultivate the 'sakha bhava' with Krishna are not 'just friends' with Him. Of course not! He is Mother, Father, friend, relative, beloved and child, all rolled into One. How could it be otherwise when He is the origin of everyone and everything?

Let us, therefore, cultivate our chosen bhava steadily, day by day, and attain the grace and protection of Giridhara (or our own favourite form of the Divine). 

Om Namo Narayanaya. Sri Krishna sharanam mama.

Hari Aum Tat Sat.

P.S. I started my seventh purascharana at the beginning of the month and am carrying on steadily as best as I can based upon my circumstances.