The Swami and the Householder

Some reflections on the Swami and the Householder

The true Swami (evolved)

Truly fearless
Does not run away from anything
Kind
Compassionate
Intent on the welfare of all
Humble
Sees God in all, loves God in all
Does not need anything from anyone
Feels God alone is sufficient
Rare as Radium
Serves all beings with delight without tiring



The Householder (evolving)

Kind
Generous
Thinks of the welfare of all, beyond his or her own home
Does voluntary work
Gives in charity
Delights in the company of the evolved Swami who is his or her own goal
Sees life as a process of evolving into such a Swami
Wants to fully express the divinity in himself or herself
Takes every opportunity to spend time with the evolved Swamis and learn from them
Consciously cultivates the good in himself or herself
Consciously attempts to transmute the less divine into the more divine in him or herself
Feels part of a world family
Has a broad and compassionate vision and outlook
Feels the need to wipe the tears of the suffering around him or her
Successfully transmutes lust, anger and greed into genuine love, forgiveness and generosity/giving
Gladly takes on some personal discomforts for the welfare of others and the larger community as a whole
Has a regular spiritual practice
Spends time in solitude from time to time- weekly, monthly, yearly in varying amounts to commune with his or her inner self via increased spiritual practice
Relatively fewer in number compared to the sensuous worldly householder


The pseudo- Swami

Superior attitude
Dry punditry
Afraid of the opposite sex
Lacks compassion
All head and little heart, dry intellectual lectures, no practical service to society
Dry pronoucements without any empathy, affection or feeling
Thinks he or she is on the royal road to Self-realisation. Feels that non-Swamis/householder are doomed, drowned in Maya
Wears multiple tilaks, malas and tries to look impressive
Conducts lectures, likes to give others advice
Wants to be a Guru
Has food and shelter, and a relatively comfortable life,  though no formal income- yet feels far more 'renounced' than the householder. Proud of his or her 'renunciation'
Has Swami friends and brahmachari 'servants' who are ordered about
Pontificates and preaches, but not much by way of practice
Has a low opinion of marriage
Shows no evidence of being evolved in any way
Has run away from biological family (whom he or she did not get on with anyway), only to develop strong attachment to the Ashram and people living in the Ashram (the new family).


The sensuous householder

Wants money first and foremost
Wants a wife or husband who looks "hot"
Not interested in the great questions of life
Preens, and takes great effort to decorate the hair and body, follows the latest fashion
Eats and drinks without restraint
Goal of life is comfort and fun
Is frightened of sacrifice, pain and giving
Does as little charity as possible
Spends the day thinking of him or herself and in fulfilment of personal desires
Despises philosophy and renunciation
Is floored by any illness or suffering
Never wonders "who am I", "where did I come from", "what is the purpose of life"
Has children because "everyone does", "it's nature, natural", "passing on the genes". Possibly partly motivated by fear "someone to look after me when I'm old", "to do the last rites".
Wants a fat pension
Money is more valuable than time. So spends his or her time slaving away at work mindlessly, not caring too much about the nature of the work
Never reflects on the uncertainty of life, his or her own mortality, the mortality of those around him or her. Has a foolish "cricket with the banjo" approach (naively optimistic) or "ostrich with head in the sand" approach (avoidance of facing the difficult issues of life)
Has no desire to do any voluntary or charitable work. Only desires to do good to himself or herself and the immediate relatives. Grudges spending any time off from paid work in doing voluntary service- it's meant to be fun time after slaving away at the office.
Spends holidays on leisure and pleasure. Never on acquiring wisdom or any spiritual practice. That would be quite boring, and not fun at all.
Likes watching movies and television as a means to switch off and escape from reality for a while
Disbelief is the watchword- i.e. doubt and disbelief in the saints and their words
Eager to believe any atheistic theory. Likes to believe there is no divine Intelligence, all is brainless mindless evolution, whirring atoms and spinning galaxies
Quick to anger, lust and greed. Thinks these are virtues rather than vices. Actively encourages lust and passion, likes sensual movies and feels deprived if cannot watch these
Spends the day in a rush of thoughts, never pausing to examine them
Never studies his or her own mind. Never wishes to cultivate or eradicate specific thoughts to improve the quality of mind
Terrified of "suppression" of any negative thought or tendency e.g. lust or any craving

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I wrote the above list about a month ago while reflecting on the different types of Swami and householder. I have seen a few of all the above four types (and respect them all as different manifestations of the one Divine).

I have been torn between wanting to be a celibate Swami and a married householder for some time. However life has taught me that I am not yet ready to take formal renunciation, though this is a goal I would like to attain one day. I have decided to stick with householder life, and try to transform from the more sensuous householder to the evolving type!

As Swami Sivananda says, "Married life, if lived in a perfect ideal manner, is no bar to the attainment of Mukti" in his article "Advice to householders".

http://www.dlshq.org/messages/householder.htm

Not easy to live married life in the perfect ideal manner but one can certainly try! Malati Tapovan was a disciple of Swami Sivananda who successfully attained Mukti while caring for a family- quite inspiring.

http://www.ommalatitapovan.org/Aboutus.htm