The true relative

 Hari Aum.

As part of my Sanskrit classes, we sometimes study 'Shubhashithas' (wise sayings in Sanskrit). Many of these are very interesting. One that I would like to discuss today is as follows (I have presented it without 'sandhis' or word combinations to make it easier to read):

Paro api hitavan bandhu,
Bandhu api ahita parah,
Ahita dehaja vyadhi,
Hitam arunyam aushadham.

Meaning:
A stranger (non-family person) who wishes us well is a (true) relative,
A relative who wishes us ill is a stranger.
A disease in the body, though close to us, is harmful,
A medicinal herb in the forest, though it grows far from us, is beneficial.

The meaning of the above verse is clear. Those who wish us well, who bring positivity and joy into our lives, who inspire us to be good and do good-- these are our true relatives. The verse above compares them to a healing medicine.

In contrast, those who harm us (mentally/physically/spiritually), those who bring discord and suffering into our lives, they should be treated as strangers (i.e. one should keep distance from them), even if they are members of our own family. The verse above likens such persons to diseases within the body.

Many of us may have experienced the truth of the above verses. It is likely that some, if not all of us, have some relatives who are virulently opposed to our spiritual lives. Equally, we may have a few good friends who wish us well in our spiritual lives, and who even walk the spiritual path with us (at least in some way).

The true relative and friend is God. In our past life, we had a family-- there was a mother, father, maybe siblings and children, perhaps aunts, uncles and cousins. In this life too, we have parents and various other relations. In our next life too (if we do not attain God in this lifetime, then there will be another birth at some stage), we will again have a host of relatives.

In each lifetime, there would be some relatives who are helpful and some who are harmful. Some who like to bicker and fight all the time, and others who are peaceful. Considering that we are currently in Kali Yuga, the 'age of quarrels', it is statistically likely that most relatives will be of a worldly and spiritually unhelpful nature. That is the sad fact.

Therefore, in the midst of all family activity, it would be wise to remember that these relatives are for this lifetime only. In the next life, there will be another set to deal with. So why not focus on the one relative who is always with us, life after life, and who always wishes us well? That relative is God. (This obviously does not mean that we should shun our family duties. It means that we should perform all duties, to family and society, as worship of God, our true relative).

Unlike our worldly relatives who often drag us down spiritually, God and our Guru always lift us up. They encourage us to come out of suffering and to find the way to lasting peace, wisdom and bliss.

The true relative who wishes us well is God (and Guru-- they are one). Hence the famous Sanskrit prayer that goes as follows:

Om.

Tvameva mata, cha pita tvameva,

Tvameva bandhush-cha sakha tvameva,

Tvameva vidya, dravinam tvameva,

Tvameva sarvam, mama deva deva.

Meaning:

Om.

You alone are mother, and You alone are father,

You alone are relative, and You alone are friend,

You alone are wisdom (knowledge), You alone are wealth,

You alone are everything, O God of gods.

During this pandemic, many of us are spending more time at home than ever before. Our ability to go out and physically meet other like-minded people who share our interests is more limited. Instead, we may find ourselves spending more time than we would like with relatives and get caught up in bickering with them. At challenging times like this, it is useful to remember the above subhashitham and prayer and try to connect with our true relative, God.

Om Namo Narayanaya.

Hari Aum Tat Sat.