Importance of the smallest act

Hari Aum.

One of the challenges of spiritual life is that the seeker has to learn to perfect even the smallest act. This is very hard work. One has to train the eye to see God even in the most ungodly people and things. No matter how severe the provocation, one has to train the mind not to react. This is a terrible task, a tremendous challenge. Every experience of anger, jealousy, greed, craving, pride in the mind is a failing. To fail is ok, it is a step towards success. To make a mistake is ok, but one should acknowledge it and take responsibility (and not blame others).

I want to be perfectly frank here and state that my mind, like that of most others, has two sides. There is the noble, the spiritual, the aspiring side. And there is the other side- that gets grumpy, irritable, negative. There is a Mahabharata (great war) going on in my mind, like in the mind of all spiritual seekers. There is a war between the positive, divine, sattvic forces and the negative, undivine, tamasic energies. The daily recitation of mantra helps to empower the divine energies in the mind and weaken and remove the negative, undivine energies. Reciting a mantra or meditating daily is like having a mental bath. It is necessary for mental hygiene.

The smallest act matters in spiritual life. No progress can be made if one does not pay attention to these. I would like to share an example here of a recent mistake that I made- when I failed to pay attention in a small act and what I learnt from this. It is a rather sad story in some ways.

In the winter here, it gets quite cold and my husband and I had put some seeds out in the garden in a feeder for the birds. We enjoyed watching various birds come and feed - it was a mutually beneficial experience, the birds got food and we enjoyed watching them (some are very cute).

One day, sometime in January this year, a small mouse appeared in the garden and began to eat a lot of the bird food with great energy. We were both rather concerned and wondered what to do. We did not want to stop feeding the birds but did not wish to encourage the mouse due to the risk of causing an infestation that could have affected both our house and the neighbourhood.

On one occasion, I became annoyed and alarmed watching the mouse eat continuously from the feeder - my mind imagined large numbers of mice in the garden and the house. This would not have been good from a health perspective, as mice, although cute, do carry some serious diseases.

I therefore went out into the garden and loudly clapped my hands to scare off the mouse. It looked at me in some surprise (as if wondering why I would try to scare it) and then continued eating. Again, I went closer and clapped more energetically- this made it run away.

After scaring it off, I went indoors. For a few moments I felt satisfied that I had accomplished my task. Soon after though, I began to experience a very uncomfortable feeling. I realised that I had caused fear in another creature- that too, an innocent animal which was only eating because it was hungry like any other (it was simply trying to survive on a cold winter's day).

I had a strange conviction that this act of mine was ignoble, cruel and would not be pleasing to God and Guru- after all, God and Guru are present everywhere including inside the mouse. In the Gita, Krishna says He resides in the heart of all beings. He does not say, only human beings. He says all beings- that includes animals and birds.

In other words, I felt that I had been cruel to a living form of Narayana in the form of the mouse. This act I felt was not befitting one who was trying to develop devotion to Narayana. I felt remorse and regret for my unkind behaviour.

After a while, I noticed the mouse returned to the garden and was cheerfully eating plenty of seeds from the feeder. This time, I did not go and frighten it away. I decided to let it eat as much as it liked. However, from a health perspective, the next day, I decided to close off the entrance to the feeder that the mouse was using and let it eat only the limited seeds on the ground (to reduce the risk of mice infestation). I decided that, while I would not actively hurt the mouse in any way in future (including causing it any fear), I would take sensible steps from a health perspective.

However, the nagging feeling that I had done something wrong and that I had not properly atoned for this did not leave me. I then decided that, to become free of the feeling of guilt from having carelessly hurt a harmless creature, I would dedicate a portion of my mantra chanting tapas to the mouse's spiritual welfare.

I told Narayana, that whatever tapas I had done during the week of the eclipse in February this year (which was the previous week from when I made this prayer), including several rounds of japa during the actual eclipse, should be dedicated towards the spiritual welfare of the soul which currently inhabited the body of the mouse. Mantra done during an eclipse is said to be several hundred thousand times more effective than at other times, so I hoped that this would be a decent attempt at atoning for my negative act.

I also apologised for harming any souls in the form of animals, birds or other species, knowingly or unknowingly, in this and all previous lifetimes and dedicated that week of mantra chanting to all of them. After this, I gave the mouse a name, and enjoyed watching it come and eat seeds in the garden from time to time. There was no mouse infestation - only one mouse (I assume it was the same one) would appear daily to eat a few seeds and then go away.

Spring began a few weeks ago and one day, my husband and I happened to be sitting on the sofa and looking out into the garden. Suddenly, we saw the mouse. By this time, we had come to recognise it rather well and were pleased to see it (my husband had even taken some close-up photographs as it was rather cute and quite fearless).

It was an idyllic sight. The sun glinted on the leaves, flowers bloomed in the bushes and the mouse played on the grass. Suddenly, to our horror, a large magpie swooped down and grasped the mouse by the neck and began to viciously peck at it. The mouse went limp and did not appear to fight back. I looked away in shock, and the bird flew off with the mouse. We have not seen the mouse since and can only assume that it has died. We chanted the Maha-mrityunjaya mantra for the peace of the soul of the mouse (as it was a rather unpleasant way to die) and to make ourselves feel better (we were rather traumatised at the horrible sight).

Nature has an incredibly beautiful and an incredibly terrible side. The episode reminded me again that things can change so quickly. One moment, the mouse was playing cheerfully in the garden. The next minute it was in the vicious grip of a bird, breathing its last. Life changes in seconds.

Cruel though this world is, I suppose it goads us to seek a realm where such cruelty does not exist. One feel shocked at the murderous brutality that abounds everywhere on Earth, and most of all, among human beings (who can behave with a cruelty that animals lack). Seeing the viciousness and cruelty all around- under the beauty of Nature lies such terrible cruelty - one cannot help but agree with Lord Krishna as He says in the Gita- this world is an impermanent world of suffering ('dukhalaya'), seek a way out O Arjuna.

And that is what I guess we are all trying to do as spiritual seekers. Seek a way out. Seeking freedom from the cruelty within and without. I hope the tapas dedicated to the mouse will help it have a better rebirth and that it may quickly attain eternal peace at the feet of Narayana. I am glad I made my apologies to it before it died (would have felt worse otherwise). This episode also reminded me to take care in terms of how I behave towards other species on Earth as these are also manifestations of God.

May God and Guru bless us all to continue on the spiritual path to find a way out of this dukhalaya (abode of sorrow).

Hari Aum Tat Sat

Reflections on sadhana to get a Darshan of God

Hari Aum

I was mulling over the subject of karma yoga again today. Karma yoga means the service of other living beings with the feeling that one is serving God. This is done without a feeling of pride, and with the feeling that one is able to serve due to the grace of God (all our faculties have their origin in God anyway).

Recently I re-read the book about a sadhu who left his million-dollar business to do arduous sadhana in the Himalayas (Om Swami- not the television showman). He was a serious sadhaka for many years even as a businessman. After making a lot of money at a young age (by about age 30), he became a monk to do sadhana to get a darshan (vision) of the Divine Mother, his ishta devata. 

He performed intense sadhana for about two years in the mountains, bearing severely cold weather and braving the elements while living in a forest. He did hours of meditation and worshipped the Goddess with mantra, yantra and tantra. After all this, he finally got what he was yearning for- darshan of the Divine Mother. He obtained the object of his desire- God.

I was reflecting upon the nature of my own sadhana today (as I do from time to time). I often ask myself "Am I doing my best?" "Am I doing enough?" "Is God satisfied with the sadhana I do?" Will He give me darshan one day?". 

I feel my life will have been in vain unless I attain whatever spiritual goal it is that God has put me here to attain. One has to become worthy to attain God's darshan. I ask God often to make me worthy. 

The word 'liberation' is confusing. It cannot be grasped by the mind as it is beyond the mind. Only God genuinely knows what liberation is. We use all sorts of words to describe it but don't really get it, words like Salokya mukti, Sarupya mukti, Savikalpa samadhi, Nirvikalpa samadhi, the list goes on. 

I tell God I have no idea what liberation is, but You know what liberation is, so please help me attain this (in accordance with Your own command in the form of various Gurus).

I hear the stories of yogis wearing the ochre robe, wandering in the mountains in solitude, braving the elements. Some do practices that are highly secret and appear exotic to the ordinary city yogi. They sit on special asanas, roll beads of special materials, utter secret mantras and perform hidden rituals. All this I hear of with wonder. 

And I ask God sometimes (mostly when I feel ignored by Him)- "Do you want me to don the ochre robe and wander in the Himalayas like these yogis?" If this is what You want, then feel free to motivate me to do it. But if You feel that simple sadhanas like karma yoga and japa yoga are equally pleasing to You, then don't ignore us karma-japa yogis! Please also give us your darshan, not just to the exotic yogis in the mountains.

I have not done any exotic, secret sadhana today like some Himalayan yogis do. But I have spent several hours in a clinic treating sick people whom I am convinced are a manifestation of God. I also spent a significant amount of time visiting a sick elderly patient at home today (as he was too unwell to come to the clinic) and provided treatment for him to make him better. This is part of my daily work. I feel fortunate that my patients seem to be satisfied with the care I provide - when they say “God bless you”, I feel that God is blessing me through them and feel strangely happy.

There are no exotic mantras in my sadhana, no yantras, no tantras. It is all very prosaic and ordinary. Very simple in fact. Just daily mantra japa and daily service of humanity. 

Sometimes, I ask myself, should I be doing more exotic sadhanas? Can God ever be satisfied with such ordinary, simple, normal sadhana done in a busy city environment, far away from the pristine Himalayas. 

I sometimes ask God- do You value this? Do You feel this is good enough? Is worshipping You in human form acceptable as a serious sadhana? Or do You want me to abandon medical work and become a yogi in solitude in the hills? Are You more satisfied with the impressive yogis in the Himalayas who brave the elements rather than with people like me who am doing such ordinary day-to-day work? Is twirling a japa mala made of special beads of greater importance than twirling the stethoscope and treating sick people? What sadhana do You want me to do?

But I also say to God-  mountain yogis may remember You by staying awake all night doing meditation, but I have also remembered You frequently during busy night shifts in hospital. Does my sadhana not count? Is my staying awake to serve You less pleasing than the yogis in the caves?

Also, mountain yogis may not eat for hours while in meditation. But I have also not eaten for several hours at a time while serving You during my busy 12 hour on-call shifts in hospital. Does this not count? Is it not pleasing to You when I put service before self?

I tell God- like the mountain yogis, I too have sacrificed sleep and food on many occasions in worship of You but in my own way. Does my sadhana not count?

The mountain yogi says he sees You everywhere in the mountains. I too try to see You everywhere in the city. Are You less present in the city compared with the mountains? How can this be when the yogis say that You are everywhere.

I tell God- do not spurn and ignore us karma yogis. We too should be regarded as Your worshippers. In the mundane city environment, our worship can be as intense and sincere as that of any yogi in the mountains.

And are You not the One about whom the yogis say:

“Mookam karoti vachalam, pangum langhayate girim. Yat kripa tam aham vande, Paramanandam Madhavam”.

I salute that blissful Madhava (Krishna), whose grace enables the lame to cross mountains and the mute to become eloquent.
This prayer invokes the great grace of God that makes unfavourable situations favourable and grants success. His grace can make the environment in a city as favourable as in the mountains. It comes down to what sadhana He wants from us individually.

And so I tell myself, I must follow my own path. I put faith in the words of my Guru who advises the combination of karma yoga and japa yoga for quick spiritual evolution.

Every one of us has a unique path to God. My path is that of karma yoga and japa yoga. I have somehow ended up acquiring knowledge of medicine. I feel I must put this knowledge to use, that it was given for a reason. I feel I cannot turn away, it is my duty to make my medical work into a spiritual practice as long as this feels right to me.

There are times when I watch documentaries about wandering sadhus and read books about yogis doing solitary meditation when I feel a yearning to be like them. At the same time, I strongly believe that I am serving God by serving my family and humanity as a whole though my home and work life. Deep inside I somehow believe that I am on the right path for me.

I firmly believe that sincerity is the key to success in pleasing God and attaining spiritual progress. I feel cleansed by serving humanity as a doctor and though my mantra purascharana practice. There is much more mental cleaning to do and so I must continue my sadhana.

We may not all be able to become wandering yogis. But it is possible to become sincere yogis even when living in cities. Every act that we do, can be done as a worship of God. My Guru advised this.

Each one of us is bound to come across others in need on a daily basis – everywhere there are people who are anxious, worried, depressed, need someone to talk to, physically sick, poor, lacking in food, lacking in medicine. We could serve these people in some way if we wanted to.

We look for powerful sadhanas. But I feel there is no more powerful sadhana than serving humanity as a manifestation of God.  There is a sea of humanity all around us, waiting to be served. It is not easy. But it is essential. So says my Guru.

Karma yoga is essential for the purification of the mind and heart. Spiritual truths can only be seen by a pure mind and clean heart- so say the yogis. I will conclude with a quotation from my Guru on this subject: 

Swami Sivananda says (see below for link to full article): 

“To stop the breath by means of Kumbhaka for two hours, to twirl the beads for twenty-four hours, to sit in Samadhi for forty days in an underground cellar without food by cutting the frenulum linguae of the tongue and practising Khechari Mudra, to stand up on one leg in the scorching heat of the summer sun, to do Trataka on the sun at midday, to chant Om, Om, Om in silent and sequestered jungles, to shed an ocean of tears while doing Sankirtan-all these are of no avail unless one combines burning love for Him in all beings and a fiery spirit of service in serving Him in all beings."

"Aspirants of the present-day are sadly lacking in these two indispensable qualifications. And that is the root cause why they do not make any headway at all in their meditation in solitude. They have not prepared the ground, I mean the Antahkarana, by protracted practice of love and service in the beginning."

"I have seen several Bhaktas in all my experiences of life in this line- Bhaktas who wear half a dozen rosaries around their necks and wrists, and mutter Hare Rama Hare Krishna day in and day out with a long Japa Mala in their hands. These Bhaktas will never approach a sick man even when he is in a dying condition and give him a drop of water or milk, and ask: "What do you want, brother? How can I serve you?" Out of curiosity they will be just looking at him from a distance. Can you call these people true Vaishnavites or Bhaktas?"

"Can there be an iota of real benefit in their meditation or Bhajan? A Jinda Narayana (living Narayana) in the form of a sick patient is in a dying state. They have not got the heart to go and serve him or even to speak a few kind and encouraging words at a critical juncture, when his life is trembling in the balance! How can they expect to have Darshan of that all-merciful Hari when they have hearts made of flint? How can they hope for God-realisation when they have not the eyes to see God in all beings and the spirit of service to serve Him in all these forms?”

http://sivanandaonline.org/public_html/?cmd=displaysection&section_id=636

Many of us complain that we have no time for sadhana. But this is not true. We just need to change our angle of vision as Sivananda says. Then the home becomes a place of tapas, of intense sadhana, not less than the cave of any mountain yogi. 

So let us have faith in the Gurus that 'Nara seva is Narayana seva' (service of humanity is service of God), and strive to do our daily work with this attitude. May we all become worthy of the darshan of God. 

Hari Aum Tat Sat

The divine law of karma

Hari Aum.

The law of karma is the law of action and reaction. A good deed produces happiness, a bad deed produces sorrow. The law of karma ensures dharma, justice, fairness and righteousness. Those who walk the path of dharma create good karma and get favourable, positive results. Those who break the rules of dharma, who act unethically, get unfavourable, negative results.

The law of karma therefore ensures justice in the world. We sometimes look around and feel the world is unjust. We see cruel deeds being performed all around us. In despair some of us declare that the world is unfair and cruel.

We would be reassured if we could have confidence in the law of karma, that supports dharma. It is true that the results of karma can take time to be seen. Those doing unjust actions may seem to enjoy and prosper for a while, while good people seem to suffer. But, in the long run, those who do evil actions reap an appropriate negative reward while those who adhere to ethics and dharma benefit.

We see this in the ancient Puranas. In the 'Mahabharata', Duryodhana and Dusshasana enjoy themselves by insulting and manhandling Draupadi, by pulling her hair and trying to disrobe her. In the end, their karma catches up with them, and they have a miserable death in the war.

Repentence may reduce the burden of one's negative karma, as may tapas (penance). We all make mistakes. The problem is when we refuse to acknowledge we have made them and even worse, when we try to blame others for them.

The saints say one should be forgiving. But to forgive, there needs to be repentance in the one who commits the crime. A murderer, thief or similar criminal who shows no remorse for the evil acts done, deserves no forgiveness. The law of karma ensures that such persons receive appropriate suffering for their wicked deeds. However, those who realise their mistake and repent, those who are sorry for their past mistakes and resolve to change and not repeat these mistakes, such persons may be forgiven by God. We see this in the case of the sage Valmiki (who told the story of Rama in the form of the great epic, the 'Ramayana'). He was a nasty criminal who robbed and killed people. One day he realised his mistake after meeting the sage Narada, and repented his foolish acts. He gave up his wicked ways and took to intense japa of the name of Rama (in reverse order 'Mara' as he could not pronounce 'Rama' being so impure!). After years of penance, his sins were all washed away, and he shone as the sage Valmiki.

We live on the Earth with several billion people. We may sometimes feel that we are victims of other people's unethical behaviour. We may feel wronged. As a result, we may brood over what has occurred- it is the nature of the mind to brood over negative events. At times like this, it is useful to remind ourselves that whatever has happened to us is the result of our own karma. And that others will also face their own karma as decreed by God. Knowing this, we can rest assured that justice will be done.

Many people strut about the surface of the Earth acting in any way they like as if they own the planet. They harm others in thought, word and deed, without any fear of the consequences. They feel that they can get away with anything, that they will never be brought to justice.

Human justice may indeed fail on many occasions, but divine justice never does. In this lifetime or another, those who commit crimes against others, those who lie, steal from and cheat others, will certainly reap the unpleasant painful rewards of their own unrighteous, adharmic actions.

We should also think about the solution and not the problem, beyond a point. There is no point in repeatedly brooding over the negative words and deeds of others as this is ultimately a waste of our mental space, and will get us nowhere. We are effectively meditating on these negative people. What a waste of our mental energy and resources!

Instead of this, it would be far more useful and beneficial for us to turn our minds towards God, towards the mantra which is none other than God. The mantra is the solution to all problems, both material and spiritual. Repeating the mantra will bring relief to these problems- so say the sages since time immemorial.

So when troubled by the unpleasant acts of others, let us seek refuge in the mantra which alone has the capacity to protect and uplift us. The trishul of Shiva undoubtedly protects His devotee who chants Om Namah Shivaya. The chakra of Narayana undoubtedly protects His devotee who takes His names, and the sword of the Divine Mother, Jagadamba, protects those who take refuge in Her.

As one Swami of Sivananda Ashram in Rishikesh is fond of saying, "Remember Hari (God), don't worry and be merry". He is quite right. This is not always easy to practice but is a very sensible approach. Let us try our best then to remember Hari, not worry and be merry!

Om Namo Narayanaya
May Hari bless us all.