Twin soul information-- stages, spiritual practice and life situations

 Hari Aum.

I'm afraid I am going to write another post on this tricky topic. (I sense some readers are a bit riled by this subject but please do not be offended-- kindly ignore this post if this is not to your taste.) This post is for the benefit of those on a twin flame journey; it is very unique and I would say impossible to understand unless one is going through this. 

I will henceforth only comment/reply to individuals regarding this topic whom I feel need some help or reassurance because they are on the same journey. It is not possible for me to defend/justify my experiences or actions to those who are having a completely different life experience from mine; we must be in another person's shoes to truly grasp the meaning of their experiences. 

There is no higher or lower life experience by the way; as we would all hopefully be aware, all experiences given to us by the universe are unique and tailor-made for our spiritual evolution. There is no competition or comparison with anyone else on the spiritual journey. We are all equal souls and are moving towards the same goal-- realisation of our true spiritual nature.

I just want to say that I will sometimes write posts on this topic as and when I see fit and leave them on here for periods of time that I feel are appropriate. If this subject does not apply to you, I would suggest that you please feel free to ignore and move on. On the other hand, if this does apply to your situation, then I hope that what I share is of some benefit to you. 

This twin flame journey is not at all an easy one, and I feel duty bound to share some of what I have learned about this subject in recent years (both from others who have gone through this and some of my own experiences) in case there are readers who are experiencing this.

So, let me begin.

A quick recap, twin souls or flames are individuals who are closely connected on a soul level (which manifests as a close connection on a mental/astral level which leads to specific experiences in both the waking and dream states that would not occur otherwise). 

In general, both souls find that, for the greater part of their journey, they have suffered at the hands of the other (this may be due to a variety of life situations). 

There are three main stages of the twin flame journey:

1. Meeting (initial attraction and then rejection for many reasons, specific to the individuals)

2. Separation (often very long; may be for years or a lifetime)

3. Re-connection (recognition of the connection and acceptance that it exists (how this manifests in external life depends upon the individual circumstances).

If you feel you are going through this journey, please do read about this topic in much more detail online. I am aiming to provide a brief summary here and some advice from a spiritual perspective.

It can feel very confusing and lonely on this journey. And, it helps to know someone personally who has been through a similar experience. It is also important to be aware that there are various people who offer to give twin souls 'readings' regarding their situation. I would advise being very wary and cautious about approaching such individuals; a very small proportion may be genuine, the majority are likely to be exploiting gullible individuals (I said the same thing in another post about Vedic astrologers). 

A great deal of common sense is needed in life, especially in spiritual life. As Sivananda says, 'Use your common sense always'. And, in his opinion (which I entirely agree with), the most commonsensical thing any soul can do, whether twin soul or not, is to approach God.

So my advice would be to approach God on this journey if you have not already done so. After all, that is what it is for. Take up a spiritual practice. Recognise that God is the goal, and all souls are on the same journey, including yourself and your twin soul and everybody else.

Personally, I would advise generally avoiding any psychics, tarot readers, self-proclaimed realised beings etc for readings to find answers on this journey (in exceptional cases, if there is a burning question and one is intuitively drawn to these, it may be appropriate. Using yogic divination methods such as the 'Ramagya prashna' may be considered).  

Mantra sadhana is a very great blessing on this path. It connects one to the Divine, shines a light upon one's path, shows one what to do and what not to, keeps one on the path of dharma, helps one navigate the most complicated situations in life, gives one strength when one needs it, guards one from lower energies both from within and without, protects and blesses one at every step. 

It helps one to understand what one's duties are and gives one the strength to perform them, and helps one to gradually tune oneself to the will of God, and makes one a true devotee of God. This is the only thing one can rely upon in life with absolute certainty. 

So, in summary, I would like to state that if a person feels that they are on a twin flame journey, then it is absolutely vital that they have a daily spiritual practice to help cope with its challenges. There is no other solution (no psychic/ tarot reading or anyone else will give one any guarantee of peace or sanity; only one's spiritual practice connecting one to God can do this). 

One must meditate daily (even if for only 10-15 minutes) and attempt to follow the yogic ethics to the best of one's ability. If one is sincere and does this, then one will experience the grace of God and Guru at every step.

The good news about this journey is that there is a lot of support available from God and Guru who remain with one throughout. One is compelled to seek their help on this journey.

My advice would be: trust yourself, trust your Guru (if you have one) and trust God (and, difficult though this may feel at times, trust your twin soul. More likely than not, they are in the same boat as you.) 

I would also like to share a valuable resource I have come across-- this is a lady known as Pradnya Pandit. She has written upon this subject extensively online (I have not yet met her but hope to connect with her at some stage to gain some more understanding). 

In her case, she and her twin soul were married to other people with whom they had children. It took them many years to understand their connection, and due to their circumstances, they chose to maintain a platonic friendship. 

Her twin soul sadly died a couple of years ago but she continues to be a great help to many others stumbling in the dark on this journey of spiritual evolution. She writes on Quora and other online platforms and provides some counselling support and advice for those who feel they need this (she does not claim to be a psychic but provides advice based upon her own direct experiences related to this subject).

She has spoken about her experiences here and I would recommend listening to her story as it is very insightful: ('Portrait of a twin flame'): https://open.spotify.com/episode/7uy7aOvL3vIlH7AORmdm9U

She mentions that fear and guilt are major reasons that cause twin flames to run from the connection. Fear of rejection (or hurting their family/being condemned by society), and guilt regarding their present life situations (feeling unfaithful/disloyal to their existing partners and families). However, the reality is that this connection transcends any ordinary relationship paradigm. And it can take a long time to realise this. 

As Pradnya and others who have experienced this path say, "This is a 'connection' not a relationship". Some of these twin soul connections do indeed lead to relationships, and some do not; it all depends upon the unique circumstances of the individuals involved, their karma with other souls and ultimately, the will of God. The only determining factor with regard to the outcome is spiritual evolution (what will truly benefit the twins and everyone else involved in their lives).

There are thought to be three broad types of twin soul situations in the world:

1. Twin souls who are both single 

2. Twin souls who are both married to others (a soul mate or a 'karmic') or one is unmarried and the other is married/in a committed relationship. A number of these choose to maintain platonic friendships with each other, while some choose to leave their marriages and enter into a relationship with each other.

However, under no circumstances, do true twin flames ever engage in an extramarital physical relationship with the other (though there often is a strong and mutual physical attraction); a mutual emotional/mental bond is part of the twin flame connection and there is nothing they can do to break it (the existence of this can produce guilt and fear until they learn to accept it-- this is very difficult and occurs over a long time).

3. One twin soul is alive and the other has sadly died (this is not an easy situation but the soul bond continues after the twin leaves the body)

Finally, there are three typical states of consciousness for the twins with regard to each other during the course of their journey (and they may both be in the same or different state, or alternate between these):

1. Chasing: one soul chases after the other; they can later switch to running.

2. Running: one soul runs away from the other; they can switch to chasing; sometimes both may run.

Often when one soul chases, the other runs (for a variety of reasons ranging from fear to feeling overwhelmed. It can take a truly heroic effort not to run from this connection!).

3. Acceptance of the connection with no unhealthy desire to either run from or chase after it (one is fully established in this state after much inner churning, spiritual practice and growth all of which takes a very long time, sometimes a whole lifetime or more). 

There is always a very strong desire to be connected with one's twin soul counterpart; no external circumstance/other relationships can ever take this desire away. There are strong, completely unexplained feelings of love between them that do not depend upon any external connection and persist despite their external circumstances and prolonged absences from each other's lives. 

So, I hope this provides a useful overview for those on the twin flame journey. What I would like to say as I conclude is that:

1. A twin soul cannot ever truly reject its counterpart; this is especially true once they recognise this connection for what it is. Regardless of any external running, the reality is that they always want to connect with their twin soul counterpart.

2. Fear and guilt are common on this twin soul journey (unfortunately these are often constant, unwanted companions on this challenging path). The only way to overcome these is sincere spiritual practice and the grace of God/Guru.

3. Spiritual evolution is the key purpose of this path. 

Om Namo Narayanaya.

May God and Guru bless all twin flames in existence and give them the strength required to walk the spiritual path.

Hari Aum Tat Sat.

The fight or flight response in spiritual life

 Hari Aum.

In the world of medicine, we talk about something known as the 'fight or flight response'. Many of you may be familiar with this term which describes a physical response to stress.

When we are anxious or stressed by something, our bodies react by rapidly producing a cocktail of stress hormones (especially adrenaline). The role of these is to protect ourselves. These hormones cause our hearts to beat very quickly thus sending plenty of oxygen to our muscles. We can then choose to stay and fight, or turn and flee, whichever we feel is the best option depending upon the threat that we perceive. 

If it is a tiger, we may turn and run away as quickly as possible. If it is an aggressive person we are compelled to face, we may have no choice but to stay as calm as possible (externally!) and try and defuse the situation as best as we can. Either way our fight-or-flight response is our mind and body's instinctive response to protect us in stressful situations. 

I have also observed that this happens in spiritual life. When something unexpected happens here, we can feel stressed. When we are stressed, our response towards God may also be to either fight or flee. In both the waking and dream states, there are certain things that we are accustomed to, things that are familiar and that we would class as quite normal.

However, when things begin to happen, either in the waking state or in dreams or both, that do not fit with our experiences till date, or our expectations of how things should be, we can feel quite distraught and stressed. There usually is nobody to immediately run to for a definitive solution. We find that we are expected to figure this out ourselves with the help of God and Guru.

It is inevitable that during the course of spiritual life, provided one has a consistent spiritual practice (no matter how simple) and one at least attempts to follow the yogic ethics, that some experiences will begin to happen. The purpose of these is likely to encourage us to continue, a sort of reassurance that we have the grace and protection of our Guru and God, and sometimes they can also be a few spiritual tests.

As I mentioned, the typical inbuilt response of the human mind, when dealing with such unexpected situations is to feel stressed by it all, and alternate between fighting or fleeing these experiences. 

Whether fighting or fleeing, we are in a state of resistance towards God. "I don't like this", we say, "Stop it now! I refuse to accept what You are doing (fighting)", or "I'm going to stop/change my spiritual practice, as I don't like the results! (fleeing)". "This is not what I wanted as the result of my spiritual practices."

And if we feel particularly cross with God, we might even dare to say, "I think You are being really mean to me! I don't know why anyone would ever call You an 'ocean of compassion' as You don't seem to be showing me any! First You design this world full of people with never-ending problems, and then You have the audacity to get annoyed with Your own creation! If You don't like my behaviour, why did You create me in the first place? Why did You create this world? What is the matter with You?!"

"Why this, and why that? What, when, why, where, how, who!".  Lots of questions pour into our minds as our human intellects struggle to make sense of what is happening. 

After a while, one calms down a bit. And possibly goes to a temple, a place of calm and quiet. :) A place where the turbulent mind finds some peace. And here, when we pray, we receive some answers. Some clarity appears regarding our many questions and (often self-created) problems.

One such situation happened with me today. I've made no secret of the fact that the past couple of years has been filled both with blessings and with challenges-- there have been both positive, encouraging experiences and negative, difficult ones (this of course fits with the experience of our world of duality described by the yogis).

When I went to my local temple earlier today to join in some spiritual singing, I merely looked at the deity (Krishna in this case) and mentally said "I am not going to repeat all my issues, as You know them anyway. Please just resolve everything on all fronts, both spiritual and material". I then enjoyed myself singing along with a large group of people and it was very pleasant.

Some hours after I got home, it dawned upon me that my approach towards these experiences given by God is the cause of my problems (rather than the experiences themselves). All religions emphasise the spirit of service to God. They all teach that the most effective approach that brings peace to the mind is to actively seek the service of God.

Many of us do this as part of our spiritual practice (in the world of yoga, we call the path of service of God 'karma yoga'). However, we are usually less happy to take this approach when stuff happens that we do not like. Then our prayer to God is usually to fix it, make it go away or something along those lines. "No", we say, "I can't be having with this!".

Whereas what we should probably say is "Ok, so You've created this situation/given me these experiences that I do not understand and I accept this". "Now tell me, how can I serve You with this? What do You want me to do?".

There is a shift in focus when asking this question about service. Instead of asking God "What can You do for me, Why are You doing this to me?" (there's a lot of me, me in this approach), one shifts the focus to God and says "Ok, what can I do for You? How can I serve You?".

And, the yogis say, God is generally pleased with this approach, and we are very likely to find that He/She will answer this question if we ask sincerely.

In a previous post, I mentioned that we spiritual seekers may go from "No way" to "Ok" in these cases. But this "Ok" is still lacking enthusiasm, it is a bit nervous and cautious, and not entirely sure. A more enthusiastic spiritual approach would be "How can I serve You with this xyz situation/event/etc that You have created in my life?".

A bit of spiritual enthusiasm is probably what is needed. For example, when I had the dream of Mother Kali last September, my response was to go into major flight mode (instead of being grateful and happy). I did not dare to meditate for a few days, I was positively petrified of looking inwards at the heart chakra, I was fearful that I might be becoming the victim of some Kundalini malfunction. (Nothing untoward happened though, it was all self-generated fear).

I was ready to give up all my spiritual practice, and did the bare minimum number of malas of mantra japa until I calmed down and mustered up the courage to restart my practice a few days later. Similarly, when other odd events have occurred in recent years, I find that my first response is to shut down and go into the usual spiritual fight or flight mode. Really not helpful at all, I now realise.

Anyway, as in all spheres of life, the first step to resolving a problem is to recognise there is a problem, and that one needs to do something about it.

I feel the reply from Krishna today to my request to resolve all my problems was very simple-- I feel He told me to stop seeing them as problems. And instead, I feel His suggestion was for me to shift my approach to a more service-oriented one. And so, I am now changing my tune a little-- from "Why on Earth is all this happening?" and "I think You are really mean and lacking any compassion!" to "Ahem, thank You very much for these experiences. I haven't got a clue as what You are doing here, but please show me how I can serve You through these?".

As you can imagine and may also have experienced yourselves, it can take a while to change ingrained habits. So, it would be unrealistic to expect this spiritual shift to happen overnight. It will probably take several months (may be much longer) to really express this approach fully. But I am making a start at least. And every journey begins with the first step.

So, now I say to Krishna "Thank You, I can see that You are actually quite compassionate. I know You have a plan for everyone including me. Show me what You want me to do with what You have created in my life, what do You want from me?". The answer will always be spiritual progress no doubt, but this can be achieved via a variety of practices and actions-- and it is there that we will all need His guidance.

This actually reminds me-- at my school in Delhi, India many years ago, I recall the motto on the emblem was "Service before self". Like most other students, I never really thought deeply about it at the time. I was there from nursery to age 16 so it was something I just got used to seeing every day emblazoned on my uniform and at various places all over the school. 

But I see now that there is good sense in this approach from a spiritual perspective. Service before self, at every step in spiritual life-- whether life is looking good, bad or downright ugly. One just can't go wrong with that motto. 

This is not to say that one should not be sensible and take care of one's basic needs (as I have mentioned in other posts such as 'Being spiritual does not mean being a doormat' and 'selfishness, martyrdom and spiritual balance')-- but yes, I can see the wisdom of this approach more clearly now.

So, I'd like to suggest this approach may be worth trying for anyone else who is experiencing any oddities or challenges in spiritual life or life generally. Instead of the usual fight or flight response towards God, the 'service before self' approach may be more useful (I will keep you posted on how this goes in my case! :)

On that note, I will conclude with:

Om Namo Narayanaya dasoham tava Keshava.

Hari Aum Tat Sat.

God and the graveyard

 Hari Aum.

Life and death are regarded as inseparable according to the yogis. What is born must die one day, and what dies must be reborn one day. This is the eternal cycle of birth and death that constitutes samsara. And, the only way out of this is to attain the spiritual state of liberation while alive on this planet.

To create a sense of detachment, a small minority of yogis (belonging mainly to the 'left hand path' of spirituality) sometimes worship God in the cremation ground. The sight of death certainly gives one a new perspective on life.

I have never gone to cremation grounds or graveyards seeking to worship God there as I have never particularly felt the need. Fortunately, by the grace of God, I have not really needed to attend these places very much during my lifetime. 

I am currently spending some time abroad visiting my husband's side of the family. And, in recent days, we have visited a local graveyard on a few occasions to pay respects to a close relative on his side who passed away a couple of years ago during the Covid pandemic. It was a very odd feeling to be at the grave of someone whom I came to know quite well over a decade. 

I have walked on streets that pass through graveyards in the past and, on some level, it is always a bit of a sombre experience, but it really is quite different to be at the grave of someone one has personally known for a long while. 

All around us were graves of various people who seemed to have been mostly born in the past fifty to seventy years; quite a few of these were marked with the years 2020 and 2021 and I could not help but wonder whether this was in part related to the pandemic.

As a family, we spent some time placing flowers on the grave and reflecting upon the life of the relative who was buried there. There is a hole in our lives in the space that he once occupied. 

While we were there, my four-year old daughter spotted a pretty toy windmill placed on a small grave. She dragged me over to show it to me and I remarked that it looked very nice. I noted the grave sadly belonged to a child who had passed away a few years ago at the age of three. 

My daughter has been asking me questions about death and dying in the past couple of weeks, and pretending that some of her toys die and then getting upset. I did not really plan to have a conversation about death with her at this age, but since she seems to have discovered this subject, I have spoken to her about it a couple of times recently and tried to reassure her (though it is not an easy subject by any means).

She asked me what happens to us when we die, saying that she was really upset that we wouldn't be able to ever see or speak to people who have died ever again. I thought this was the million dollar question that we all seek the answers to as yogis but said to her that people generally go to a nice place when they die, and then they come back again. Since then, some of her toys that had died have been reborn again and she seems a bit calmer! It still is quite a sensitive topic that I try and avoid as much as possible for now as it is understandably quite upsetting for her.

As I wandered through the graveyard with my daughter, it felt appropriate to silently recite the Mahamrityunjaya mantra for the peace of the souls who had passed and their families, particularly the young child. I cannot imagine anything more heartbreaking and painful than losing a child; what must the parents have gone through, it is really too difficult to even contemplate.

As I looked at the grave of our relative, I did feel a strange sense of detachment-- in the end, this is where it all ends. All the drama of our lives, all the wealth, all the relationships, everything, one day ends either here in the grave or on a cremation pyre.

As I left with my family, I privately said to God, this world is of Your making, and this separation from people is also of Your making, so bless us all that we may all do whatever it is that You want. One really cannot say anything else.

Life is very, very short in the grand scheme of things. It is so unpredictable and ever-changing. One minute we are above-ground, and perhaps the next minute (metaphorically speaking), we may find ourselves six feet underground or perhaps burnt to cinders on a cremation pyre (this may sound a tad dramatic, but it isn't really; it is simply a fact). It really is quite a sobering thought.

We are best-off, really, while yet alive, living life in accordance with dharma, doing our duties and focusing on collecting spiritual wealth that is not left behind when we die. 

Recently, when I was at a temple, a gentleman giving a talk said that the wealth that we amass while alive will all be left behind when we die, but the spiritual wealth accumulated in what he (half-jokingly, half-seriously) called the 'Lakshmi Narayana' bank will be retained and go with us. Wise words indeed. 

Mother Kali is said to have many forms, and one is Smashana Kali, the Goddess of the graveyard ('smashana' means cremation ground in Sanskrit). She reminds us that we are eternal, unlike the perishable body that we must all leave one day. 

I therefore thought it would be appropriate to conclude this post with a link to a prayer in praise of Her (please see below). This is the 'Kali ashtakam', or eight verses in praise of Mother Kali, composed by the great Advaita yogi, Adi Shankaracharya.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vr4Oa2L7d8Y

Meaning of the Kali ashtakam:

https://greenmesg.org/stotras/kali/kalika_ashtakam.php

Om Sri MahaKalikayai Namah.

Om Namo Narayanaya.

Hari Aum Tat Sat.

 

How to do an (informal) puja

 Hari Aum.

We are currently still in the auspicious month of adhika masa. Any spiritual practice done during this time is said to be particularly beneficial. 

I therefore thought that I would share my views on how to do a puja-- this is mainly for those who may have so far practiced various types of meditation but who may not yet have explored the world of devotional/ritualistic worship of God.

As we all know, the yogis say that God is everywhere. From time to time, when we feel particularly connected with the divine within ourselves, we may even feel this. Self-realised yogis are aware of this fact all the time.

A puja is a method used to honour the omnipresent, omnipotent, all-pervading almighty Supreme Being in a specific object, such as a diagram (a yantra), an idol (representing the form of the personal aspect of God) or other sacred object.

A puja can be as elaborate or as simple as one would like (it all depends upon the time available and one's knowledge and training in the art of puja).

The most important ingredient in conducting a successful puja is devotion to God. The most wonderfully elaborate puja, conducted by a priest with great knowledge of Vedic rites and scriptures, is futile if done in a rushed, business-like manner (as is sometimes sadly the case in temples) with little evidence of devotional feeling.

The reality of life for most of us spiritual seekers, is that we have very little time for anything elaborate. Most of us have to juggle all sorts of commitments in daily life, related to home, family and work. Fitting even a little mantra recitation or meditation into our hectic schedules may itself be challenging, let alone attempting to perform any more elaborate worship.

In the past, I have purchased books describing in detail the Sanskrit mantras and techniques of performing pujas in the traditional way. If I have a fair amount of time sometimes, I do try and perform the puja the traditional way. However, due to the pressures of time, I do admit that I mostly perform what I call an 'informal puja'. 

And so, for those people who may also be short of time, but who would still like to be able to perform a puja every now and again, I thought I would share a simple method in case this may be useful. 

This method draws upon the basic framework of a traditional puja, but the emphasis is on two things, namely mantra recitation and devotional feeling.

This evening, for instance, I performed an informal puja for Mother Kali. There was no particular reason and I had not planned it at all. I happened to be performing a rather mundane task (of dealing with some laundry) when I randomly began to think of Mother Kali and how beautiful She is. I then thought it would be quite nice to perform a small puja for Her and did so. It was a very good experience and I felt quite happy afterwards.

I therefore thought I would share my technique with those of you who may like to experiment with this spiritual practice.

So, here are the steps:

1. Prepare yourself-- physically and mentally:

i) Physical cleanliness:

 It is a basic requirement to be physically clean when performing a puja. Traditionally, one would be expected to bathe and wear clean clothes. However, if one is short of time, I feel it is quite reasonable to simply wash one's hands (and if needed, the face and feet). The clothes that one is wearing should also be relatively clean. 

ii) Mental cleanliness: 

One should also feel mentally clean prior to performing a puja. By this, I mean, one should not be in a state of agitation or in the grip of emotions (especially negative ones). If one is feeling grumpy, tired, lazy or there is some other issue, the best thing is to sit down and do a little mantra recitation-- that will be calming and cleansing. After this, if one feels better, one can consider doing the puja.

iii) Devotional feeling:

One should not do a puja in a forced sort of way, out of a sense of obligation. You know, that feeling, when one doesn't really want to do something from the heart, but one feels obliged to, as a sort of duty. That is really not a good time to do a puja. Again, the best thing to do here, is to sit and do some mantra recitation. If that generates some feelings of devotion, one can then do the puja. If not, then I would say it is best to wait until the devotional feeling appears.

The best time to do a puja is when one spontaneously finds oneself in a devotional mood, when one really feels in the mood to do one.

2. Prepare the materials:

Even a simple puja requires some basic materials, such as:

i) A sacred object in which one plans to worship the Divine, eg. an idol, a yantra or something similar (there are additional, traditionally used objects associated with each deity, e.g. the Shaligram for Vishnu/Narayana).

ii) Something to offer the Divine.

Now, traditionally the things that are offered include:

-light (representing the fire element)

-incense (representing the air element)

-milk, honey, water (representing the water element)

-flowers (representing the space element)

-fruits (representing the earth element)

There are said to be five 'great elements' in Nature which comprise everything that exists in the material world. When we offer things that represent these to the Divine, we are effectively saying that we offer all these to God, all aspects of our own nature to God, who is the origin of us and all things. This helps create a feeling of unity with God, a closeness to Him/Her, and draws His/Her grace and blessings upon us.

There is also a tradition of treating the Divine as a dear friend or relative. This involves inviting Him/Her to one's home (invoking the Divine within the idol for example), and then offering God a bath, clothes, jewellery, food, drink, lights, incense etc.

For a simple puja, one does not need to physically offer all of the above. It is ok to offer only whatever is comfortably available; if one is short of time/energy, and feels stressed at the prospect of having to get together a whole lot of materials, that is not helpful for creating devotional feeling.

Far better to maximise the time spent reciting mantras and prayers after invoking the deity, rather than running about spending the limited time available in collecting together lots of materials.

So, basically, put together any or all of the above. In the Gita, Krishna says that He is happy to accept very simple offerings such as a fruit, flower, leaf or just water if offered with devotion. The devotion is the key. A single item or two offered with devotion is perfectly fine for a puja.

3. Prepare a space:

The space should be clean. It does not always have to be a specially set aside puja room or space (though this is nice to have if possible). If time is very pressing, frankly, one can do this anywhere in the house where one can sit comfortably and spend some time in solitude (e.g. at least 15-30 minutes). One generally should not be around other people unless they are participating (as this creates a mental distraction) though there can be exceptions to this too if needed.

4. Get started

There are Sanskrit mantras for literally every aspect of a puja, from invoking the Divine, to making offerings, to making requests for blessings (whether spiritual or material) and even saying thank you and goodbye until the puja is done again.

For those unfamiliar with Sanskrit, it is perfectly fine to speak in one's native tongue, whatever that may be.

A simple puja format:

i) Invocations:

Invoke Ganesha, the remover of obstacles and protector. He is traditionally worshipped first in any ritual. If you do not know a mantra for Him, just say, "Ganesha, please bless me and remove all obstacles from the performance of this puja, and let it be completed successfully".

Then, if you wish, invoke other favourite deities and your Guru before starting the main worship. Just speak to them, in your own language, and ask for their blessings, guidance and protection.

ii) Invoke the deity you wish to worship in the sacred object. For example, just say, "Mother/Father, please be present in this idol /yantra  and accept my worship".

As Sivananda says, speak freely like a child to God, there is no need to be formal, it is much better not to be overly formal. Speak to Him/Her with the same familiarity as you would speak with your own parents or other close beloved relatives. Be frank and at ease, that is the approach advised by the yogis.

iii) Repeat some prayers and mantras of your liking:

Now, you should feel that you are facing the Divine who is truly present in the idol/yantra (regardless of whether or not you know it/feel it, this is a reality). The yogis say that the fact is that the Divine responds to our prayers, as we are His/Her children. 

If we say, "Please be present here", then He/She will absolutely be present. This is simply a fact. (By the way, there are different types of Divine presence; there is the abstract all-pervading presence/omnipresence, and then there is the personal presence of God with form. It is the God with form, not the abstract Divine, that we are invoking in a puja).

So, now that you have God in front of you, in full manifestation, you can offer some prayers or mantras of your liking. This may be something you have prepared in advance, or something that spontaneously comes up, or a mixture. 

Also, even if you do recite mantras or a formal prayer or sloka, do some spontaneous worship, do speak to God. The yogis say that it is a very good thing to talk to God, to share what you are going through, how you feel, what help you need, what you are thankful for, just anything you want to tell Him/Her. Again, think of Him/Her exactly as you would a relative or friend and do not be shy or reserved. It is good for the heart to open up to the Divine. He/She knows everything about us anyway, there is nothing hidden from the Divine.

iv) Offer some materials that you like/have available:

It is not mandatory to repeat complex mantras while doing this. It is okay to simply repeat the mantra of the deity. E.g. Om Namah Shivaya while offering Him fruit, flowers etc. In fact, this is the most spiritually important bit of the puja. 

To recite the mantra of God, in His/Her direct presence, while making offerings with devotion is the most vital part. This bit should constitute the majority of the puja. (If one has limited time, this is the part to focus on; a few less materials is ok, but the more mantra recitation, the better).

Say to God something along the lines of,  "Please accept these offerings as a mark of my devotion to You". "Please grant me devotion, please let me walk the path of dharma always, please let me be Your instrument, please keep me close to You, let me achieve the spiritual goal of life" or whatever it is that appeals to you, that you want. 

Note- It is unwise to ask God for anything remotely ignoble; if there are any ignoble thoughts, which frankly, are bound to occur sometimes, it is sensible to say, please accept all that is noble and all that is ignoble in me, as both have their origin in You who are the origin of all things. 

The great Guru, Ramakrishna Paramhamsa used to advise this, i.e. offering all the positive and negative in ourselves to God, as this would lead to strengthening of the positive, and transformation of the negative into positive over time. 

The yogis say, the best thing one can ultimately offer God, is oneself. More than all the materials we may offer, the single most valuable thing we possess is ourselves-- our very self (body, mind and soul, all aspects of our being). 

And this, the yogis and Gurus say, is what God wants the most, as we are made of Himself. We are not separate from Him; He wants us to recognise this. He does not need our material offerings, but we benefit when we offer these. 

Finally, one should not offer meat, eggs, alcohol or any intoxicants to the Divine (and one should ideally abstain from these in the hours or days before performing a puja. These are regarded as spiritually unhelpful and most seekers gradually give these up entirely over time). Generally, plant-based fresh foods  or dairy products should be offered, preferably things that are sweet in flavour (not bitter/sour/pungent). 

v) Conclude with final prayers and thanks (and maybe an apology):

Just as we may thank our relatives and friends for accepting our invitation and coming to our homes when we say goodbye and say it was nice to see them, the yogis advise doing the same at the end of a puja.

Again there are specific mantras for this, but it is perfectly fine to say thank you in one's own language. One can simply say, "Thank you for being present here and for accepting this worship. Please bless me, please bless all beings, etc."

Also, there is a tradition of offering an apology for any mistakes made or lack of devotional feeling. We are, after all, facing the Supreme Being when we perform a puja and it feels appropriate to apologise for any mistakes we may have inadvertently made.

For example, if we have friends over, and our child happens to have just scattered their toys about the area, we might sometimes say "Sorry about the mess!" or something polite to express an apology for the inconvenience to our guests. 

Similarly, with a guest such as God, it is regarded as quite appropriate to offer an apology. No matter how sincere we are, we are not perfect and are bound to make some mistakes in our worship. 

The traditional prayer of apology can be translated into English or something similar can be said, e.g. "Please forgive any mistakes in performing this puja, and please pardon me for the lapses in /lack of proper devotion, please correct any mistakes that have been made".

vi) Sit quietly for a while afterwards and reflect upon the experience, even if just for a few minutes (do not immediately rush into company or plunge into any material activity); Sivananda says this helps to keep the spiritual vibrations intact.

So, there you have it. A simple puja that can be done relatively easily on any day at any time. One can also do puja mentally (I've written about this elsewhere on this blog); however, the yogis say, it is good to combine this with the occasional physical puja/worship as this engages the physical aspect of our being (and it is good to engage all aspects of our existence in worship, both physical and mental).

One final note:

One should not be afraid of God when doing pujas. It is a common habit in India in particular to be worried that God may be offended if we get something wrong in our worship. That is simply not true. 

The only offensive thing in the spiritual world, according to the yogis, is the deliberate cultivation of bad character or being indifferent to one's own flaws (e.g. being chronically untruthful/hurtful towards others), and not doing anything remotely useful for anyone else during one's lifetime on Earth. 

That approach creates an unfortunate block in receiving the blessings from our worship, whether puja or anything else (we will still be transformed by mantra/puja etc, but only very slowly, because we are simultaneously creating blocks in our own progress).

However, accidental slip-ups in pronunciation of Sanskrit mantras/slokas, imperfect materials for worship, and even lapses in concentration and devotion, are very common and very forgivable by God, so say the yogis. We do not have to worry about performing perfect, flawless worship all the time; we just need to do the best we can (even if we feel it isn't all that great) when we worship, and that is all really. 

I would therefore recommend doing the occasional physical puja in addition to mantra recitation/meditation etc as it certainly creates a unique feeling. There is a special effect created by spending some time in the company of one's favourite deity in this way and in sharing one's thoughts and feelings with them. 

May God bless us all with true devotion and the ability to perform regular worship.

I just want to say that I discovered the Kali sahasranama stothra this evening and found it very beautiful. Am sharing a link to this below:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z08118mW1qc

Om Sri Mahakalikayai Namah.

Om Namo Narayanaya.

Hari Aum Tat Sat.

Resolving conflicts with the Divine-- from 'no way' to 'okay'

 Hari Aum.

 

I am currently just over six months into this purascharana (which is proceeding at a modest pace of seven malas per day along with one mala of the Lakshmi mantra), and was reflecting a little bit on my current spiritual approach-- not so much the actual rituals and sadhanas, but more about the attitude based upon what I have learned in recent months.

The Gurus tell us that spiritual life is about a gradual transformation from 'my will be done' to 'Thy will be done'. This is, of course, much easier said that done. 

It is not easy to discover that, from time to time, the Divine itself shows us that we are in conflict with it. It is quite shocking as a devotee or spiritual practitioner to discover that one is finding it difficult to 'go with the flow' all the time.

In the little things of life, one may be willing to give up certain things for the sake of God, e.g. conduct an occasional fast, abstain from favourite foods or activities for a while, or even give up sleep and remain awake to conduct spiritual practices. This sort of thing is the norm in spiritual life for many of us-- it can be tricky at times, but usually not too difficult. Most of us are willing and able to undergo some physical and mental discomfort to control our senses and thus please the Divine. To an extent, we are all able to sacrifice the flesh for the sake of the Spirit.

As we get comfortable with passing the little tests and challenges that God presents us with on the spiritual path, He seems to up the ante-- in order to help us grow further, the difficulties increase in frequency and intensity. We are pushed to the limits of our comfort.

It is said a good teacher pushes the limits of the student (in a supportive way) to help them grow. God is the ultimate Teacher and definitely pushes us to our limits.

We will all find at some stage in our spiritual life, usually when we've been feeling relatively comfortable, that things begin to change. We find events becoming unfavourable, even odd, unclear and uncertain. All sorts of stuff happens both in inner and outer life, things that are not to our liking, that were not part of our plan. 

We all have a plan, a template for our life. Consciously or subconsciously, we think, 'In a year's time, or five or ten years time, this is what I expect to be doing. Of course I know 'man proposes and God disposes' so things can change, but broadly, this is what I currently expect for my future'.

So, when the Universe throws a spanner in the works of our grand plan of life, it can be very difficult. We may find that we want to our life to be a certain way (it may be related to literally any aspect), but try as we might, the Divine seems to be doing something different.

The whole point of being pushed to the limit is to feel uncomfortable in spiritual life, to recognise our own shortfalls, the areas of excessive attachment to the world. All religions have some examples of this sort of situation.

I have not read the Bible from cover to cover, but like many people, I am familiar with the broad principles and some famous stories within it. One story that illustrates the point I am making here is the rather dramatic one of God asking Abraham to sacrifice his own beloved son, Isaac. You can read this section here: https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Genesis%2022&version=NIV

Now, of course God does not actually let Abraham sacrifice his son, but the point is, He checks to see if Abraham trusts Him, loves Him, enough to be willing to do this-- and Abraham passes His test. 

And, it is useful to remember, that it is only by the grace of God that one can reach this level of acceptance of the will of God. Many of us, if asked by God to do such a thing, may quail, or feel quite appalled at the request-- the only way a human being can reach an inner spiritual state where such things can even be contemplated is through the grace of God.

Another story like this come to mind. There is a famous story of Prince Arjuna from the Mahabharata being reborn as a hunter (called Kannappa) and devotee of Lord Shiva. In the story, he sacrifices his own eyes in an attempt to heal the apparently bleeding eyes of Lord Shiva. Of course, he is then blessed by Shiva and his vision is restored. This story is narrated by Sivananda and you can read it here: 

https://www.themotherdivine.com/35/kannappa.shtml

The interesting thing about these stories is that the devotee is tested to the very limit of their endurance; they are eventually asked to sacrifice something of great importance for the sake of the divine, such as life or limb or something else that they greatly value in life. 

Now, the actual sacrifice may not always need to be carried out, but at some stage, it appears that God will be interested in knowing whether or not we have spiritually grown enough to be prepared to do anything for His sake. And He/She is not cruel or sadistic in wanting to know this. He/She is the embodiment of goodness and contains every virtue in the maximum, but this whole process seems to be an exercise in helping us to give up our ideas and attachments and trusting the Divine. This then enables us to obtain the greatest blessings from God which is our birthright as children of the Divine.

The Gurus also tell us that these sorts of experiences are not reserved only for spiritual greats such as Abraham and Arjuna, but will come to each one of us in one way or another, and perhaps on a few occasions in our lives. Because, as the yogis say, each one of us is a child of the Divine, each one of us is here to realise and experience our full spiritual potential. As Sivananda often said to humanity: "You are divine. Live up to it!".

Now, Abraham and Arjuna may have been willing to immediately sacrifice life and limb for the sake of the divine, but for the rest of us, it may be a much more long and arduous journey to reach that stage. We may find ourselves saying "No way!" most of the time to the Divine when presented with our challenges. And only after much inner churning and life experiences, a little good sense may come to us, and we may nervously say "Well, okay!".

I mentioned in a previous post ('The eight purascharana sankalpa') of a health situation that led me to promise to continue a daily mantra japa practice for years (which I am still doing). I had a similar situation develop some weeks ago and again found myself in hospital awaiting the result of a scan. 

As I awaited the result, I remonstrated with God saying 'Have mercy, I have a child, I want to be around to see her grow up. I feel I have much more to do on Earth, not least with regard to my spiritual life. I feel I have much more sadhana to do. Have pity!". 

I then found myself thinking about Sivananda and pleading with him to be with me (as I prepared to meet the doctor and hear the results of the scan which could be good or difficult). "Whatever happens", I said, "Guru, you have to be there for me. Ultimately, you are the only one for me!". I did feel a sense of peace under all the anxiety that he would be there no matter what.

When I saw the doctor, and heard the words "Your scan is normal", a huge wave of relief washed over me. Externally, I said "Thank you, I'm so glad to hear that" while internally, I was thinking "Thank You, God, thank You for my health and for everything!".

As I left the clinic, I made two pledges to God:

1. To continue my spiritual life, to do at least four further purascharanas after completing the current set of eight. This would keep me busy for an additional decade or so, and I thought that was a reasonable commitment for the present.

2. To live an authentic life, to be true to myself, to adhere to dharma no matter what, of which the principle of truthfulness is the centre.

This experience also showed me that, when all is said and done, when facing a possibly very difficult situation in life, the Guru is the one and only solace and refuge. More than all the beloved family and friends, more than God as God, it is God as Guru that gives the greatest relief, the greatest respite to the mind and soul. I truly am eternally grateful to Swami Sivananda for being in my life. I very much hope and pray that I may repeat my Guru mantra daily by his grace and attain the spiritual goal of life.

I want to conclude this somewhat serious post on a slightly humorous note. In the past few years, I had virtually no time or energy to watch any movies (being busy with a young child, work and the extra pressures of life related to the pandemic). So I have been catching up a little bit on this lately. 

A few days ago, I found a Bollywood comedy movie called 'Chennai Express' on Netflix and started to watch it again (saw it many years ago). It is a lighthearted, slightly slapstick comedy about a man who innocently boards a train (the Chennai Express) on a personal errand. He helps a pretty lady onto the train (in true Bollywood style, she was running on the platform to catch it as it departed) only to discover, to his horror, that she was escaping her family, a group of criminals and thugs (who follow her onto the train). 

There is a comical scene where he pleads with the woman to come up with a plan to enable them both to escape her thug relatives and go their own sweet, separate ways (they are not too keen on each other at this point). She grudgingly agrees and her (slightly mad) plan is for him to nod his head to whatever she says when they meet her father (the ace thug) as they inevitably must. In desperation, having no other recourse, he agrees.

The dialogue is quite funny not least because of the language barrier and resulting mix-ups (her character is Tamil-speaking, while he speaks Hindi). I thought I would share a clip to this comedy scene here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nsxmrMliHGU

Some of us spiritual seekers may be forgiven for feeling that our lives too, at some point, feel like a bit of a comedy sketch! As the saying goes, 'If you don't laugh, you may have to cry!". And life, for many of us, is a mixture of some laughter and some tears.

After watching the scene above, I had a funny feeling that, just as the lady says to the man in the movie: "Whatever I say, just nod your head and agree!", God too says this to each one of us-- "Just nod your head and agree with Me!". And, like the man in the clip, we too may eventually realise that accepting the situation with good grace is the only way!

May God bless us all with the capacity to say "Okay" instead of "No way" to His plans for us, and also to nod our heads and agree when needed (as, often, there seems to be no other way)! 

Om Namo Narayanaya.

Hari Aum Tat Sat.