Swami Sivananda says "Bear insult, bear injury. This is the highest sadhana." Sounds good, but very difficult to practice.
Today I had a chance to see how well I can practice this maxim of my Guru. It was a mixture of success and failure, mostly failure. I experienced a particularly unpleasant tug of war between my higher mind and lower mind.
The episode involved a group of rude strangers. I am presently at an ayurvedic resort receiving some rejuvenation treatment (feeling utterly exhausted after five years of working as a trainee doctor). After the treatment involving a brisk massage with warm medicated oils, the patients are expected to rest in an open area for an hour and only then bathe. I was resting in a chair and reading a book (had just started the introduction chapter to the Lalita Sahasranama). The patients here are a mixture of Indians and visitors from abroad. While I was reading quietly, a group of three non-Indians came and sat close to me and started making fun of the way local Indians speak English. What was slightly comical is English was not their native tongue either and they spoke with pretty strong accents themselves! I thought it was reasonable to find an accent funny, but to loudly and crudely make fun of an accent in the presence of a native of that country (myself) was uncalled for. They glanced sidelong at me a few times, clearly well aware that I could hear them, and either not caring what I thought, or deliberately trying to be insulting. I remained like a statue externally, entirely absorbed in my book, and seemed oblivious to their comments. I did not speak a word to them or look at them....after a while, they walked away.
Although externally calm, inwardly I was witnessing a fine battle between my higher mind and lower mind.
The higher mind said many things such as "let it go...what's the big deal.....don't react....don't get annoyed....it's a spiritual test.....remember they have God inside them too....how can you get angry with a manifestation of God......remember to see God in all.....a true saint, a real bhakta, would feel goodwill to such people not anger....remember anger is an asuric property, a flaw in the mind...they are doing this out of foolishness only....their conduct harms only them, why should it affect you...be calm...compose yourself.....dear, dear, you have a long way to go on the spiritual path!"
The lower mind on the other hand was practically somersaulting in indignation....it said things like...."how rude!!.......why are they saying these things in my presence deliberately to irritate me, or not caring about the impact of their words.....I don't even know them!.....how would they feel if I visited their country and made fun of the local acccent in front of them......vulgar, crude, mannerless people....their karma will get them!....belonging to a wealthy country in this life is not a permanent position of strength....it is not a guarantee of a place in heaven and certainly not of self-realisation......they will have to bow down in humility to all before they can realise God....such impertinence.....Grrrr!"
In the middle of all this, I was also talking to God, saying look what a position You have placed me in. Clearly this is a spiritual test. You have manifested Yourself as these people and are being rude to me (who am also a manifestation of You). On top of this, I am experiencing all these un-spiritual negative emotions in response which painfully remind me what a beginner I am on the spiritual path. Why can't You make these ignoble feelings in me go away? I feel very frustrated at my reaction to these people- it makes me feel like I have made no spiritual progress at all!
What type of Lila is this? Your Lilas are always highly confusing. I cannot believe how far away I am from becoming a saint. My mind is utterly wretched. On the bright side, it is said that all will realise God so I just have to plod on and keep saying Your name. What a mess this world is. All sorts of mad people, including me, thinking negative thoughts indiscriminately about each other. It is no wonder that the world is filled with fighting of every type and every kind of misery. Oh God, have pity on us, poor humanity, the majority of whom have no idea of the mind, how to control it, have no purpose in life aside from living a very basic existence with petty thoughts.
This episode was yet another reminder of how far I have to go before I entertain loving thoughts spontaneously to those who try to harm me. Bear insult, bear injury- it's no joke. Becoming a Krishna, Buddha or Jesus is clearly not at all easy. But plod on we must, with the Name of God as our trusty companion. As Gurudev says, for beginners on the path, the world in our best Teacher. Dreaming one is a great yogi while meditating in a cave is one thing, but the ability to handle the world and all the people in it with equanimity and goodwill is the real test of our yogic abilities, and of our spiritual strength.
Hari Om Tat Sat.
Today I had a chance to see how well I can practice this maxim of my Guru. It was a mixture of success and failure, mostly failure. I experienced a particularly unpleasant tug of war between my higher mind and lower mind.
The episode involved a group of rude strangers. I am presently at an ayurvedic resort receiving some rejuvenation treatment (feeling utterly exhausted after five years of working as a trainee doctor). After the treatment involving a brisk massage with warm medicated oils, the patients are expected to rest in an open area for an hour and only then bathe. I was resting in a chair and reading a book (had just started the introduction chapter to the Lalita Sahasranama). The patients here are a mixture of Indians and visitors from abroad. While I was reading quietly, a group of three non-Indians came and sat close to me and started making fun of the way local Indians speak English. What was slightly comical is English was not their native tongue either and they spoke with pretty strong accents themselves! I thought it was reasonable to find an accent funny, but to loudly and crudely make fun of an accent in the presence of a native of that country (myself) was uncalled for. They glanced sidelong at me a few times, clearly well aware that I could hear them, and either not caring what I thought, or deliberately trying to be insulting. I remained like a statue externally, entirely absorbed in my book, and seemed oblivious to their comments. I did not speak a word to them or look at them....after a while, they walked away.
Although externally calm, inwardly I was witnessing a fine battle between my higher mind and lower mind.
The higher mind said many things such as "let it go...what's the big deal.....don't react....don't get annoyed....it's a spiritual test.....remember they have God inside them too....how can you get angry with a manifestation of God......remember to see God in all.....a true saint, a real bhakta, would feel goodwill to such people not anger....remember anger is an asuric property, a flaw in the mind...they are doing this out of foolishness only....their conduct harms only them, why should it affect you...be calm...compose yourself.....dear, dear, you have a long way to go on the spiritual path!"
The lower mind on the other hand was practically somersaulting in indignation....it said things like...."how rude!!.......why are they saying these things in my presence deliberately to irritate me, or not caring about the impact of their words.....I don't even know them!.....how would they feel if I visited their country and made fun of the local acccent in front of them......vulgar, crude, mannerless people....their karma will get them!....belonging to a wealthy country in this life is not a permanent position of strength....it is not a guarantee of a place in heaven and certainly not of self-realisation......they will have to bow down in humility to all before they can realise God....such impertinence.....Grrrr!"
In the middle of all this, I was also talking to God, saying look what a position You have placed me in. Clearly this is a spiritual test. You have manifested Yourself as these people and are being rude to me (who am also a manifestation of You). On top of this, I am experiencing all these un-spiritual negative emotions in response which painfully remind me what a beginner I am on the spiritual path. Why can't You make these ignoble feelings in me go away? I feel very frustrated at my reaction to these people- it makes me feel like I have made no spiritual progress at all!
What type of Lila is this? Your Lilas are always highly confusing. I cannot believe how far away I am from becoming a saint. My mind is utterly wretched. On the bright side, it is said that all will realise God so I just have to plod on and keep saying Your name. What a mess this world is. All sorts of mad people, including me, thinking negative thoughts indiscriminately about each other. It is no wonder that the world is filled with fighting of every type and every kind of misery. Oh God, have pity on us, poor humanity, the majority of whom have no idea of the mind, how to control it, have no purpose in life aside from living a very basic existence with petty thoughts.
This episode was yet another reminder of how far I have to go before I entertain loving thoughts spontaneously to those who try to harm me. Bear insult, bear injury- it's no joke. Becoming a Krishna, Buddha or Jesus is clearly not at all easy. But plod on we must, with the Name of God as our trusty companion. As Gurudev says, for beginners on the path, the world in our best Teacher. Dreaming one is a great yogi while meditating in a cave is one thing, but the ability to handle the world and all the people in it with equanimity and goodwill is the real test of our yogic abilities, and of our spiritual strength.
Hari Om Tat Sat.
