Draupadi and Krishna: Sakha bhava part 2

 Hari Aum.

This post continues the story of the events in the court of the Kurus after the fateful game of dice.

After attempting in vain to disrobe Queen Draupadi, Dushasana, completely exhausted, collapsed to the floor in a heap. Duryodhana, and the other  Kauravas, watching these events, felt highly discomfited. This was not at all what they had expected! 

To make matters worse, the second eldest Pandava, Bhima (whom Duryodhana particularly disliked), now made an extremely alarming threat.

Bhima had so far been controlling his intense rage at the events that had occurred in the courtroom. From the moment his brother had begun the ill-fated game of dice, and committed folly after folly, Bhima's fury had been growing. 

This had increased exponentially when his brother staked Draupadi. He had vehemently opposed this but was silenced by his brother, Arjuna, who reminded him of his obligation to adhere to the kshatriya code of dharma (which was to accept his older brother and King's decisions).

However, it was now simply unbearable. Filled with wrath, and appearing like the demi-god of death Yama himself, Bhima made a vow. He declared that he would avenge the diabolical treatment of his wife at the hands of Dushasana by killing him in battle with his own bare hands.

This statement further intensified the highly charged atmosphere in the courtroom. Everybody was terrified witnessing the intense hatred between the royal cousins that threatened a civil war in the country.

Hearing his cousin's words of rage, Duryodhana desired to insult him and humiliate Draupadi further (as the disrobing had not worked out as he had hoped). He then performed an act which is regarded as another defining moment in the legend.

Glancing mockingly at Draupadi, in full view of the royal elders and public, he exposed his left thigh and invited her to come and sit there. Her five husbands were slaves and of no use to her, he said. She was better off without them! 

She now had the option of choosing another husband for herself, preferably one who would not be foolish enough to stake her in a gambling match! 

These provocative words of Duryodhana led to Bhima making another fateful pledge. He declared that, one day in battle, he would surely break the very thigh that Duryodhana had exposed (these words came true years later during the great Kurukshetra war) and avenge the humiliation of his wife and the Pandavas.

As he made this pledge, the silence in the courtroom was broken by the harsh cries of birds of prey and the howling of jackals outside; these were regarded as being a cosmic warning of great misfortune in the future.

These alarming pledges and disturbing cosmic signs finally jolted the royal elders into taking some meaningful action.

Duryodhana's doting father, King Dhritarashtra, had quietly tolerated his proud and obstinate son's conduct so far. Now, however, he felt as though a great calamity would take place unless he intervened on his foolish son's behalf.

Realising that great injustice had been done to Draupadi and the Pandavas at the hands of his sons, he told the Queen that he would grant her any wish that she desired. By doing so, he hoped to pacify her and the Pandavas and to save his sons from death at their hands in battle.

Draupadi accepted King Dhritarashtra's offer. For her wish, she said that she desired that Yudhishthira be freed from slavery. The elderly King immediately granted this wish. 

Then he said that he desired to grant her a second wish. She accepted this offer and said that she wished for the other four Pandava brothers to be granted their freedom. This wish too was granted.

Then Dhritarashtra said he wanted to grant her a third wish. However, Draupadi declined, saying that she was content with what had already been given. She said that the Pandavas would achieve prosperity and wealth again through their own efforts in accordance with dharma (thus she did not ask for the kingdom or wealth to be restored to them).

Yudhishthira now approached Dhritarashtra and asked him what should take place next, saying they would ever be obedient to his wishes. He was advised by his uncle to return home to his kingdom and rule in peace.

Dhitrarashtra expressed his wish for there to be peace between the cousins. 

The elderly King's wish was accepted by Yudhishthira, and the Pandavas, accompanied by Draupadi, then departed for their kingdom. 

(Duryodhana of course could not bear the idea at giving up the kingdom that he had stolen from them and contrived to deprive them of this again-- and the consequences of this led to the Mahabharata war in which he and his brothers were defeated by the Pandavas who were supported by Krishna). 

I will now pause the story of this section of the Mahabharata. This episode of the game of dice, and the Lila (divine play) of Draupadi and Krishna beautifully highlights the sakha bhava (or relationship of friendship with the Divine). It also has many other key messages relevant to our lives today.

Here we see how one person, Yudhishthira, cousin and dear friend of Krishna, forgot to invoke Him at a vital moment in life. He had hoped to succeed based on his own skill but came under the influence of Maya/delusive power of the universe. Thus, he committed great mistakes and experienced much misery as a result.

In contrast, we see how Draupadi, also a beloved friend of Krishna, had the wisdom to remember Him in her time of great need. She, therefore, received His grace and protection in full. Not only was her own dignity preserved due to her wisdom, but she also managed to win back the lost dignity of the Pandava princes. 

Her in-laws attempted to humiliate her, and her husbands placed her in grave danger and did nothing to protect her. However, she successfully overcame all this suffering by relying upon her own wisdom, by leaning upon the relationship that she had cultivated with the Divine (in the form of Krishna). 

She utilised her great devotion and wisdom to overcome the suffering that would have been inflicted upon her family and kingdom by the Kauravas due to the poor judgement of her husband. 

This story is not merely fiction. It highlights a very important truth of our lives. Those that come into our lives (whether relatives, friends, strangers or unfriendly people) have a limited ability to grant us anything (be it joy or sorrow). Their abilities are far superseded by the power of the Divine. 

It is this relationship with the Divine which should therefore be the central one in the life of every wise person.

And, as women in particular, we know that we live in a world not at all dissimilar to that in which Draupadi lived. Every day, we hear and read in the news of the atrocities to which women are exposed (both at the hands of their relatives and strangers). We may even see this in our own social circles and experience this in our own lives. 

Women remain vulnerable to harm by men in particular today in exactly the same way as Draupadi experienced. 

Let every woman, therefore, be wise and strive to cultivate a strong and unbreakable bond with the Divine to ensure that she has as much protection as possible (for herself, her family and the good people in the world as a whole).

How, one might ask, can one develop this sakha bhava or friendship with the Divine today? There is no avatar of His on Earth at present as far as we are aware.

As in the case of Draupadi, it was the recitation of His divine names that granted her protection. Although present in physical form on Earth, Krishna was not visible at the courtroom when she called Him (though it is said that He ran there on foot upon hearing her prayer, and was invisibly present; this is said to demonstrate His love and care of His devotees). However, He responded to her prayer in full.

As women especially, we would be wise to follow in her footsteps. Even today, in this Kali yuga, the holy names that Draupadi uttered have power. They can grant us the same protection that she experienced. Many devotees of the Divine (as Krishna/ Shiva/ Divine Mother) have experienced this reality. 

We should daily recite any name or mantra of any form the Divine that appeals to us for our own spiritual and material growth and protection (We should take all practical steps to protect ourselves and also remember God.)

Equally, the wise learn from the mistakes of others. Let us remember the mistake of Yudhishthira in forgetting to invoke Krishna at a crucial time and the negative consequences that followed. 

As our Gurus advise, we should invoke the Divine before every act as far as possible (or at least remember Him/Her periodically during the day as much as we are able). 

May Krishna grant us true devotion and constant remembrance of Him. 

Om Sri Krishnaya Namah. Om Bhaktavatsalaya Namah. Om Pushkarakshaya Namah.

Om Namo Narayanaya.

Hari Aum Tat Sat. 

Draupadi and Krishna: Sakha bhava part 1

 Hari Aum.

In previous posts, I have mentioned that there are five main bhavas or emotions that one can direct towards the personal aspect of God to cultivate a relationship with Him/Her. This is a vital aspect of the path of bhakti yoga, the spiritual path of devotion to the Divine. We may have more than one bhava towards God but one may be the primary feeling.

The five bhavas towards God are:

i) Dasya - feeling one is a servant of the Divine. This is an important bhava for all seekers to cultivate as it helps to subjugate one's will before the Will of God. This is crucial in helping us come out of the clutches of the lower mind/ego. 

Regardless of cultivation of the other bhavas, this one is essential in my view, particularly at the start of spiritual life, and it remains important until the end, until one attains God). (Note: A devotee cultivating dasya bhava towards the Divine, and seeing Him/Her in all beings and things, cannot feel superior towards other creatures in any way for any reason, whether spiritual or material).

An example is Lord Hanuman (avatar of Lord Shiva) who served Lord Rama. 

ii) Vatsalya- feeling that the Divine is one's beloved child. The feeling of parents towards children is often one of intense love and sacrifice. This bhava is therefore a powerful one to cultivate. It comes naturally to those who love to nurture and care for others, especially children. 

An example is Yasodha, the mother of Lord Krishna. She developed strong and unwavering devotion to God through her intense love for Krishna (avatar of Lord Narayana), whom she raised as her own child.

iii) Shanta: a feeling of peaceful love and contemplation of the Divine. An example is King Janaka, the father of Mother Sita. He was a king and Self-realised soul who ruled his kingdom as an instrument of the Divine. 

iv) Sakha: a feeling of friendship towards the Divine. Here one feels that one's ishta devata is a dear friend. Just as with human friends, one feels able to talk freely with Him/Her. One experiences the usual ups and downs of friendship with the Divine (just as one would with a human friend).

Prince Arjuna, and His wife Draupadi, has this bhava towards Lord Krishna. I will come back to Draupadi and sakha bhava further in this post (this is the main topic of this post).

v) Madhurya: a feeling that the Divine is one's beloved. The gopis (cowherd women) of Vraja had this feeling towards Lord Krishna. They developed intense love and remembrance of Him as a result and attained Him.

Let us now return to Queen Draupadi and sakha bhava and study this a bit further.

Before we delve further into this bhava, let us briefly discuss the background of Queen Draupadi. We will then look at a key episode in her life where her sakha bhava towards Lord Krishna was particularly important. Her life contains useful teachings for spiritual seekers, particularly those of us who cultivate the sakha bhava or feeling of friendship towards the Divine.

The life of Queen Draupadi is described in the great epic known as the Mahabharata (modern historians say this was written around 2000 years ago but the yogis describe it as a historical spiritual text that describes events that took place during the avatar of Lord Krishna around 5000 years ago. It is said to have been composed by sage Vyasa around that time and was originally written down by Lord Ganesha). 

King Drupada, the father of Draupadi, and ruler of the land of Panchala (modern-day Uttar Pradesh in North India) conducted a sacred fire ritual (homam) to pray to the Divine for children. As a result, he was blessed with a pair of divine twins who emerged fully grown from the flames. Both of them played an important role in assisting Lord Krishna in establishing dharma (or righteousness) upon Earth. 

The first of these was a handsome young man, a warrior prince, who emerged wielding a sword and shield. He would be known as Drishtadyumna (his name means one who is courageous /' drishta', and glorious /'dyumna'). 

His sister, who came to be known as Draupadi (daughter of Drupada), was similar to her brother in many ways. She too had a celestial beauty and great courage. She is described as appearing like a blue lotus, dark in hue, with dark eyes and long beautiful hair. 

They had a fiery temperament and were fierce when it came to fighting for justice. 

Drishtadyumna excelled as a warrior and played a vital role in the great battle of Kurukshetra (that led to the destruction of the wicked Kauravas). He fought on the side of the Pandavas and Lord Krishna and was instrumental in the victory of good over evil.

His sister, Draupadi, was fated to play a crucial role in causing the great war to take place. Her relationship as a close friend of Lord Krishna was the core feature of her life.

She was married to Prince Arjuna, the Pandava prince and dear cousin of Krishna. (Krishna played a key role in enabling them to marry by helping Arjuna to attend her svayamvara, or groom selection ceremony). Arjuna passed an extraordinarily difficult test at archery to win her hand. The other princes who were present were furious at this and attacked him but Krishna helped to calm them down. This was her first encounter with Krishna and the beginning of a close friendship.

Although Draupadi loved Arjuna and wanted to marry him alone, by a strange twist of fate, she was compelled to marry him along with his four brothers (polyandry was strictly forbidden at the time but, in this case, an exception had to be made! However, not everyone approved of Draupadi's marriage to the five Pandava princes as we will see).

The evil-minded Kaurava prince, Duryodhana, had also desired to marry Draupadi due to her beauty and position as daughter of the powerful King of Panchala. He was unsuccessful at passing the archery test set by King Drupada and could not win her hand. Filled with rage and jealousy, he plotted and schemed to humiliate the Pandavas along with their wife, Draupadi. This brings us to the game of dice, a key turning point in the Mahabharata.

King Yudhishthira, the eldest amongst the five Pandava brothers was a noble and just ruler. He was a member of the great royal dynasty known as the Kurus.

He ruled over a portion of the Kuru kingdom whose capital was a magnificent city known as Indraprastha (which had been created with the help of the devas; this region encompassed modern-day Delhi). 

Yudhishthira had performed a grand worship of the Divine, called the Rajasuya yajna, and had thereby achieved the status of a mighty emperor, a King among kings. He was widely regarded as a repository of virtue and wisdom.

However, he had one weakness-- a love for gambling. This weakness was fully exploited by his paternal cousins and arch enemies, the Kauravas, and led to his downfall. They were intensely jealous of everything that he and his brothers had worked so hard to accomplish.

The maternal uncle of Duryodhana, the wily Shakuni, possessed an unusual set of dice. The dice were infused with the spirit of his own deceased father and obeyed his every command.

Shakuni and Duryodhana plotted to deprive Yudhishthira of everything he had in life by inviting him to a gambling game using this unique set of dice. Upon receiving the apparently friendly invitation, Yudhishthira arrived at the palace of Duryodhana at Hastinapura, accompanied by his brothers, his wife and entourage.

The game of dice began with staking relatively small things-- horses, elephants and gold. The dice always favoured Shakuni, and Yudhishthira lost every round they played. Then, the stakes grew higher-- the entire army and large portions of land. Eventually, the Pandava King realised that he had staked and lost all his land and property. 

By now, his mind was gripped with an obsessive desire to gamble; this was in great part due to the influence of the spirit of the dice. He was intoxicated by the game and could not find it in himself to stop. He was convinced that it was only a matter of time before luck would turn in his favour. However, with the false dice, this was impossible.

When Shakuni saw Yudhishthira gripped with despair when he realised how much he had lost, he smiled slyly. He then helpfully told the King that he still had his brothers. He could stake them one by one! If he won a single throw, he would win back everything that he had lost until then. Shakuni urged him to continue saying that he may still be able to win.

Yudhishthira was unable to resist. He staked and lost each of his four brothers one by one (they were completely aghast at their brother's conduct; a brother who was famous for adherence to dharma at all costs. However, they were not permitted to interfere in the game in accordance with the kshatriya/warrior code of conduct).

Finally, seeing Yudhishthira sunk in utter despair, Shakuni suggested that he may as well stake himself-- he had lost everything by now anyway! The Pandava King, feeling numb, nodded and agreed. He promptly lost of course.

At this, Duryodhana's heart leapt with joy. He could not believe it! His cousins, the Pandavas, who had always been praised by one and all for their virtue, their courage, their skill at war-- who had been regarded as better at everything compared with himself and his Kaurava brothers-- humiliated! Defeated! 

And so easily-- just with a simple game of dice! Not a drop of blood had been shed; no war had been required to deprive them of everything! It was unbelievable! Extraordinary! Ecstatic with joy, he and his brothers laughed and congratulated each other.

Meanwhile, the Pandava brothers remained silent and in a state of complete shock, as they digested the events that had occurred. As they did so, they received a further suggestion from the Kaurava side.

Why not stake Queen Draupadi? As their wife, she was their possession, and they had every right to gamble her! Perhaps she would be their lucky charm, the one who would turn their entire fortune around! 

She was their last hope, said Shakuni smiling. If they staked her and won, they would get back their entire lost wealth, kingdom and their own freedom, he said. 

At this suggestion, there was a stunned silence in the courtroom. All those with a conscience could not believe their ears. Stake the Queen! It was unthinkable madness. It was completely unrighteous. Under no circumstances, should such an act be done, they thought.

But, by now, King Yudhishthira, had lost all reason. Consumed by intense agony and despair at his actions--which had involved handing over the care of his beloved kingdom to the evil-minded Kauravas, and the enslavement of his brothers and himself-- he clung desperately to the faint hope that just one more throw of the dice might save him.

He therefore agreed to stake his wife, Queen Draupadi. At this there was an outcry in the palace but Shakuni and Duryodhana silenced everyone. It was time for the final stake!

The result of the final stake was, of course, predictable. The dice were thrown in turn, and Shakuni spoke the familiar words—“I have won!”.

After losing everything, including Draupadi, Yudhishthira seemed to be a daze. He could barely register the mocking laugher of the Kauravas. He could hardly hear the lamenting of the courtiers and citizens as they grieved over the folly of these events. He seemed lost in his own world.

Duryodhana, on other hand, was over the moon. He felt as though he was the lord of the entire earth. The supreme ruler, the greatest king! He had attained all there was to attain! 

He looked scornfully at the Pandavas-- his servants, his slaves! He could treat them with the contempt that they so richly deserved!

He decided to humiliate them in public-- that would be entertaining! With this in mind, he ordered them, as his servants, to remove their upper garments and was delighted when they silently obeyed. 

It was simply wonderful, beyond his wildest dreams! His thoughts now turned to their wife, Queen Draupadi. The fiery Queen, who had spurned his advances in the past, was not a favourite. It was time to show her her new place-- at his feet, or indeed, on his thigh, he thought.

Filled with vile thoughts, he turned to Dushasana and ordered that the Queen be brought before him. His brother was told to go to the women's chambers and summon Draupadi. If she resisted, said Duryodhana, his brother should not hesitate to use force. She was no more than a servant now, and they were free to do as they pleased with her.

Dushasana now hastened to the women's chambers to fulfill his brother's command. Draupadi was filled with shock and disbelief upon hearing of the outcome of the game of dice. When Dushasana told her, that her husband had played and lost, not only his entire kingdom, his brothers and himself, but also her, she was unable to believe her ears.

Her presence was required in the courtroom at once, by order of her new master, said Dushasana gleefully. She had no choice but to obey, he said.

Filled with intense grief and fury, Draupadi rejected this order. She did not accept any of this nonsense, she said. She was not a possession to be played and won or lost in a game of dice! Who, in their right mind, would stake their wife in a game!

Upon hearing this, Dushasana, who had been enjoying Draupadi's grief, was filled with rage. Advancing threateningly upon her, he reached out and grasped her long hair with his hands. As she protested, he tugged at her hair and forcibly dragged her into the courtroom-- in front of everyone.

As these events took place, time itself seemed to stand still. All dharma appeared to have fled in shame. 

The Queen was cast upon the ground, while her five husbands, sons of the demi-gods, filled with celestial power, remained silent. The royal elders, the courtiers and the citizens were also stunned into silence.

There was then a great uproar at the palace. Everyone began to argue and debate upon the rights and wrongs of the events that had occurred. 

Some was in favour of the Kauravas, saying they had played and won fairly. 

Others were in favour of the Pandavas, declaring that they had been treated unfairly by their evil-minded cousins.

In the midst of all this chaos stood Draupadi. She then raised her voice to ask a question and courtroom fell silent to hear her words.

Facing Yudhishthira, her voice shaking with pain and rage, she asked her husband: "Whom did you lose first-- yourself or me?"

"If you lost yourself first, as a slave, you no longer had any rights, including over me! You had no right to stake me! I am a free woman!"

There was then an intense debate upon the laws of the land and their interpretation in the circumstances. 

Queen Draupadi made the argument that, as Yudhishthira had already lost himself when he had staked her, he no longer had any rights left over her or anyone else. His stake was therefore invalid and she remained free.

However, others stated that this was not true. A man always had a right over his wife, they argued, regardless of whether or not he was a slave. His rights as a man superseded his status as a slave, they said.

After some minutes of feverish arguments on both sides, Duryodhana became infuriated. It was time to demonstrate his authority as supreme ruler, and show the Pandavas and Draupadi their station! He had no time to waste on useless legal arguments!

He therefore loudly addressed his brother Dushasana: "Draupadi is our servant now!", he said. "Like the Pandavas, let her too be disrobed. Divest her of her garment!" 

Dharma had long fled the courtroom, and now only adharma after adharma unfolded.

This was a moment so extraordinary, so appalling, so utterly vile, that time itself seemed to stop. The planets seemed to pause in their orbits. Destiny hung in the balance.

The Kauravas had made their choice-- and it was adharma. The consequences would surely follow in good time-- but for now, Draupadi was seemingly all alone, without anyone to come to her aid.

She looked at her husbands--  first at Yudhishthira, the embodiment of virtue, but he was silent. She looked at the mighty Bhima (who was trembling with rage on her behalf) but he was silent. 

She gazed pleadingly at Arjuna, who wielded the divine bow, the Gandiva-- but he too was silent. In desperation, she looked at the twins, Nakula and Sahadeva, but they too were silent. Her five valorous husbands, sons of the devas, were sunk in misery and utterly silent. They could not even look her in the eye.

The royal elders were silent. The courtiers were silent. The public was silent. Not a word was now spoken in her favour. Not a finger was lifted to help her.

Seeing her utter helplessness, despair and misery, Duryodhana's joy increased a thousandfold. Dushasana then began his task to remove the clothes of the Queen in public, an event that had never before taken place in the land.

As he grasped the long cloth that was draped over the person of Draupadi and began to try to remove it, she resisted with all her might. 

Draupadi was now faced with a deeply unpleasant realisation. She was truly all alone. The court was full of watching people and not one of them was willing or able to help her. 

Born from a divine fire, blessed with celestial beauty, a sharp intellect and great virtue, belonging to a wealthy and noble family-- all of this had come to naught. None of these was of any use in her time of greatest need.

At this moment, she remembered a dear friend-- Krishna. She had much greater wit and wisdom than her husband (it is said that Yudhishthira had lost the game of dice because he forgot to invoke Krishna before playing. Had he done so, the delusive spell cast by the dice of Shakuni, would have been broken). 

"O Krishna! O Yadava! O Govinda!", she cried. "Can You not see what is happening?! I am being assaulted by the Kauravas! Please come to my aid! Save me from this predicament! Protect my dignity!"

Draupadi made this request with all her heart and soul, and with the firm conviction that it was Krishna alone who could help her.

And those of us who know the story, know full well that she was quite right. It was Him alone who helped her.

At the time of this event, Krishna was at Dwaraka, preoccupied with defending His people and kingdom from an attack by an evil-minded king. He would later meet and console Draupadi in person.

But, for now, He provided her a miracle. 

As the court watched, great quantities of cloth of various shades were removed from Draupadi's person. However, there was no sign of her being even slightly disrobed. Dushasana, perspiring heavily, continued to pull and tug, and tug and pull, but to no avail. 

Surrounded by numerous streams of silken cloth, protected by Krishna's grace, Draupadi remained fully clothed in the courtroom. 

The court realised that they were witnessing nothing short of a miracle, that the Divine had responded to Queen Draupadi's plea for help.

Continued in the next post.......

Om Namo Narayanaya.

Hari Aum Tat Sat

The not-so-dark night of the soul

 Hari Aum.

I am writing this for all spiritual seekers, especially twin souls, who will one day go through this experience. I wrote my first detailed post on this subject in January 2019 when I was going through it myself. I have been through it again since —and I admit it is never easy.

I do want to say that, although the dark night of the soul can indeed be very dark, it is not quite so dark as it initially seems.

There is a light within us, a flame that never goes out. It is the light of the Divine. 

We are mostly unaware of this when we are spiritually asleep. In the dark night of the soul, we begin to wake up spiritually. It is terrible but also a beautiful time. Because, in this darkness, our own light is revealed. 

Our connection with the Divine is strengthened during this time. We emerge much stronger spiritually when the process is completed.

To those who are going through this, I just want to say —hang in there. It is going to get better. And you are not alone. The Divine is with you always. This is the greatest truth. 

We cannot see the face of God every moment. But if we have a regular spiritual practice, no matter how small we may think it is, we will feel His/Her presence and protection. There will be ups and downs but, at every step, we will feel He is there for us.

This is not imagination. When you call out for help, you will receive it. This has happened with me so many times that I have lost count; whether it is a small or major issue, I feel the response of the Divine. It happens this way for many spiritual seekers. And it is not because we are advanced spiritually. Not at all. 

It is because we are dear to the Divine. Despite our many flaws, and the resulting suffering we experience on this planet, we are loved by Him/Her. This applies to every one of us (no matter our opinion of ourselves or those of others). It is simply the reality. 

Whatever happens in life, therefore, we must stay in touch with our favourite form (or formless aspect) of the Divine. We can achieve this by doing a daily spiritual practice such as mantra japa (which our Gurus advise as a particularly potent method). 

Do not stop your spiritual practice in the middle of the dark night. There are forces in the universe that would like you to stop, but do not give in to them. You need the light of your spiritual practice to keep you going so you can make it through safely. 

The Divine will help you to keep going; but we must also do our part. God helps those who help themselves, as the well-known saying goes.

Thus, even if spiritual practice feels very difficult in the middle of the dark night, keep it up. Reduce it if necessary. Make adjustments, relax non-essential rules. But never stop. Never, ever stop repeating the mantra every day (even if just for five minutes). 

Whatever happens, keep this up. This is my advice to myself and to you, my dear fellow spiritual seekers. This is the advice of our Gurus and we must follow it. It is the spiritual key to the golden dawn that appears after the dark night ends.

The more we progress spiritually, the more severe will be our spiritual tests. And we must pass these tests. It is our destiny. 

We are meant to experience the dazzling sun of the Divine once the dark night ends. We need to be patient and go through this process of spiritual awakening—as our Gurus did before us. 

It is Guru Purnima today. Following the teachings of our Gurus is the best way of expressing our reverence for them, and ensures that we receive their grace and blessings on the spiritual journey.

Om Sri Gurave Namah

Om Namo Narayanaya 

Hari Aum Tat Sat.

Message to the twin soul collective

 Hari Aum.

For some reason, this evening I felt like sharing my thoughts with the group of twin souls on the planet (never felt drawn to this before but I feel guided to do so and therefore here I am).

(I will write in the form of a stream of consciousness, rather than a very structured message. So, here goes. I will say at the outset that I have more questions than answers, by the way)

As a group of spiritual seekers we know what we have been through. We know what others on this journey have been through. And, we know it has not been easy.

I am not going to outline our typical common experiences here. We all know what they are, and there are far better websites out there that explain these. I want to focus more on the present and the future, rather than what we have already been through.

We've all been walking this journey for some time now (from some years, to some decades; and in most cases, many lifetimes).

What are we going to do with this connection? Many of us are in broadly similar situations.

We feel a bond, an energetic bond with our twin. We are all in various different far-flung places on the planet, far away from each other and generally, at some physical distance from our twin.

Karmics abound in the picture-- spouses, children and other relatives of all shapes and sizes. They're everywhere, and they are just fantastic and wonderful, all of them. Only issue is they are mostly not twin souls and have no idea what we are going through. Not so easy handling them therefore.

Spiritual guides also abound on this journey. Some are real and some are not. Various words and phrases are bandied about, including but not limited to: spiritual growth, going inwards, unconditional love, healing, purging, karmas, chakras, kundalini, meditation, spiritual purpose, cleansing, ancestral bonds, mission, higher self, lower self, union, separation, ego, death, rebirth, starseeds, angels and more.

What next, my dear friends, my fellow twin souls?

What are we going to do now, after everything we have been through?

We have meditated till we are blue in the face, we've healed and purged, and purged and healed. We are relatively adept at handling karmas (by holding the hand of the Divine). We are in touch with our spiritual guides (who seem to expect us to take some responsibility for this journey ourselves instead of asking for help constantly).

So, what, my dear twin soul friends, are we meant to do next? 

Years ago, when I started on the path of mantra purascharana, I asked in my very first post, if anyone had any experiences to share for mutual learning.

I feel a similar way now about this journey. It is very mysterious. I have more questions than answers currently with regard to this.

Much has happened over the years, particularly in the past four. 

The main questions I currently have are:

1. What does the universe specifically want from us twin souls? (I don't mean vague airy-fairy stuff like 'spiritual growth' etc as described above. I am talking about very specifically from each one of us, what is expected from us by the Divine? Why are we in the specific situation that we are in?)

2. Are we collectively bonkers? Is this a group hallucination? How can these experiences really have happened? 

I am especially saying this on behalf of those of us of a more scientific temperament. We may be spiritual seekers, but we are also doctors, engineers and people from other scientific backgrounds. We have undergone rigorous scientific training in our respective subjects and often at relatively prestigious educational institutions in various parts of the world (and these do not encourage much spiritual thinking, yet here we are!). 

Do you therefore sometimes pinch yourself and wonder if you are dreaming? How can this stuff be happening for real? Even as spiritual seekers, knowing that spiritual laws transcend scientific ones, we still feel the need to sometimes shake our heads in disbelief at the things the universe has done in our lives. 

We are often completely grounded in reality in all aspects of our lives, except the twin soul aspect which does not follow any ordinary rules. 

Dreams, numbers, signs, synchronicities and other utterly baffling events take place regularly in our lives. The universe merrily continues to play this game with us while we look around bewildered and wondering what it wants from us.

Do you know what the universe wants from us? I do not want the usual clichéd nonsense (such as unconditional love, spiritual growth-- we all know that stuff and are working on it anyway). I want very specific answers. 

What does God want with us, that He/She is playing this strange game? What is going on?

If you have any meaningful and helpful ideas and thoughts regarding this subject, please feel free to share your views here. Until then, I am going to say goodbye for now. I wish you spiritual progress (and maintenance of your sanity on this strange soul journey) in the meantime. :) 

Om Namo Narayanaya.

Hari Aum Tat Sat.

Giridhara: bhava and karma

 Hari Aum.

As our Gurus say, all karmic debts must be paid before we can experience our true divine nature as being one with God.

Sivananda gives the example of the famous Swami Vidyaranya (author of the panchadasi). He performed several purascharanas of the sacred Gayatri mantra of the Vedas and became frustrated that he had not yet obtained the darshan of Divine Mother Gayatri. Later, on completion of no less than 24 purascharanas of the 24 lettered Gayatri mantra, he attained Her darshan. 

He then discovered that this much mantra japa had been required to clear his karmic debt from previous lifetimes (including to erase the effects of past negative karma). He became frustrated at various stages during the long course of sadhana but continued his practice until all karmas was dissolved and he attained Self realisation.

So, the burning of karma requires much patience and many purascharanas based on the lives of our Gurus. 

On this arduous spiritual journey, many difficult karmas have to be experienced. Many challenges will manifest from both within and without. But the one who would attain the Divine must keep going.

The path of bhakti involves cultivation of a relationship with the Divine. This provides grace and protection when handling various challenging karmas.

This relationship with the Divine is based on a bhava or feeling that we experience when we think of Him/Her. There are five bhavas or spiritual emotions/feelings/relationships in spiritual life (I have outlined these in a previous post in October 2016; one can see God as a Master, a child, a friend, one's beloved or simply a peaceful presence).

For those of us who walk the path of bhakti, one of these bhavas will come to us most naturally. And when we cultivate this bhava with the help of spiritual practices, we will find we gradually progress spiritually.

In my case, I feel the sakha bhava, feeling of friendship, comes most naturally when it comes to Krishna. And, as I said in a recent post, He has proven time and again to be a most reliable friend. By His grace alone, my sadhana continues daily. And by His grace alone, it is slowly bearing fruit.

Let me give a recent example. Less than four weeks ago, I was going through a very hectic time (was in the process of finalising new job, organising various family-related celebrations and preparing for upcoming intense dance examination). In the midst of all this (perhaps as a result of overdoing things), I suddenly (literally overnight) developed extremely unpleasant knee pain (that was severe enough to trigger a blackout; and I have a decent pain threshold especially with all the migraines ). 

Anyway, it was terrible timing, not least from the perspective of the dance examination (this is a serious hobby and I had been working towards this patiently for months). I was deeply disappointed at the prospect of not being able to take the exam but felt I had little choice but to accept this. I arranged for some physiotherapy and it seemed likely that I would not be able to dance for weeks (a previous injury many years ago, had taken months to recover from).

However, on this occasion, my recovery was swift. After about ten days of avoiding any strenuous activity and doing physio, I cautiously experimented with some dance practice and found this to be quite ok. I had lost time but not so much that I had to give up all prospects of doing the exam. I put in additional effort and was grateful to be able to do the exam a few days ago {results awaited in a few weeks-- that is another matter altogether (though it seemed to have gone ok)!}.

I had a certain conviction after the sudden appearance of this health issue, and the rapid improvement, that this was an example of the Divine helping me handle my karma.

Health issues, like other challenges in life, are ultimately the result of past karma according to our Gurus. However, they say that worship of the Divine can help to reduce the intensity of suffering and in specific situations, nullify the effects of karma.

I feel that Krishna helped me to recover quickly on this occasion and to take the exam (that some of my fellow students decided to defer to next year due to the intense pressure of preparing three years worth of theory and practical study—all of which was on the syllabus) despite the health and other challenges I experienced.

He is known as 'Giridhara', the mountain-holder. As a child, growing up in Vraja, He is said to have famously lifted the sacred mountain (known as Govardhana) to protect the gopis and gopas from the severe rains inflicted upon them by the proud demi-god, Indra (who later contritely apologised to the Divine for his actions).

It is not only the Govardhana mountain that He lifts. He lifts the mountain of our past karmas, especially the negative ones. Like He protected the people of Vraja a few thousands of years ago, He protects His devotees of the present time too.

To access His grace and protection, the golden key is the recitation of His names and mantras. Despite many flaws in my devotion, I feel I receive His protection for the sole reason that I repeat a few malas of one of His mantras (the ashtakshara of Narayana) daily. I am certain that, on this occasion, the mantra helped me to recover rapidly after my knee injury. 

So, I feel the best 'sakha' (meaning 'friend' in Sanskrit) is Krishna alone. In the sacred scripture known as the Bhagavatam, His wife (and avatar of Lakshmi), Rukmini, famously declared that any woman with even a bit of sense would choose Him over all others. And, many of His devotees will certainly agree.

After nearly fifteen years on the path of being a householder devotee, I can say that, while there may be many excellent 'purushas' (literally 'men' in Sanskrit, but can also mean ‘people’ generally) on this planet, there is only one Purushottama (Supreme Being). 

It is natural for our relationships with family and friends to fluctuate with time; people in our lives may come and go as they please. But, the Purushottama never leaves us. Indeed, our bond with Him only deepens with time. And, difficult life events (such as health issues and so on), provide opportunities to experience His grace and protection and further strengthen this bond.

And no, those of us, who cultivate the 'sakha bhava' with Krishna are not 'just friends' with Him. Of course not! He is Mother, Father, friend, relative, beloved and child, all rolled into One. How could it be otherwise when He is the origin of everyone and everything?

Let us, therefore, cultivate our chosen bhava steadily, day by day, and attain the grace and protection of Giridhara (or our own favourite form of the Divine). 

Om Namo Narayanaya. Sri Krishna sharanam mama.

Hari Aum Tat Sat.

P.S. I started my seventh purascharana at the beginning of the month and am carrying on steadily as best as I can based upon my circumstances.

A bolt from the blue: planning purascharana 7

 Hari Aum.

On completion of my sixth purascharana in April, I had decided not to start the seventh for several months-- the plan was to wait until the end of Navaratri in autumn at the very least.

However, as the saying goes, 'man proposes and God disposes'. And there is now a change of plan.

I had a 'tower moment' a few days ago. Every now and then, when I start to relax spiritually, I get a kick from the universe to get me going again. 

This time, it was one of my 'unglamourous spiritual experiences' (similar to that described in this post https://mantrayoga.blogspot.com/2014/09/unglamorous-spiritual-experiences.html?m=0 I will not therefore describe the experience again here).

This unglamorous experience occurred after a break of many years (again provoked by severe physical pain that appeared out-of-the-blue). The main effect of this, as before, was to remind me that when the proverbial sh*t hits the fan (apologies for the language!), there is only one person I can rely on-- and that one person is Krishna. Not my family, not my friends, no other person and no other deity-- but Krishna, and Krishna alone.

I had the impression that He had put up with my sulking very patiently in recent years. I have been rude to Him of late-- doing 1 mala of the ashtakashara daily since April with little enthusiasm. And talking only of the greatness of the Divine Mother and mainly worshipping Her (while ignoring Him due to feeling upset). I feel He tolerated all this with great patience but then wanted to remind me that time is passing and it is the right time to get serious about sadhana again.

In the past week, I completed 8 weeks approximately since the completion of the last purascharana. This would have been the time for me to plan the next one based on the past. But I was in no mood to think of another purascharana. The fifth and sixth purascharanas had been so horrible in terms of karmic purging, health issues and other problems that I felt betrayed by God Himself. I was not keen to think of the next one.

Anyway, the events of the past week have changed this (there have been various challenges including health issues which are now improving). I have been reminded again that it is Krishna who is my rock. Whatever emotion I may feel towards Him, this is simply an undeniable fact as far as I am concerned.

I therefore sat down to plan my seventh purascharana yesterday. I was looking for a good muhurtha. In the meantime, the heat here was terrible and even higher temperatures were predicted this week. There was no rain forecast at all and, as I get horrible migraines in intense heat, I silently asked Krishna to consider sending a little rain. If possible, I said, please provide a little relief from this terrible weather.

I was using the AI tool Gemini to plan my seventh purascharana last evening. I gave it some instructions and told it to work out how long it would take to complete with scheduled reductions in japa after completion of every quarter (I don't usually outsource my work to AI but was feeling tired so though I would get some help from it). As I worked this out, it began to rain (obviously a coincidence and not necessarily due to my prayer, but I was very happy!). 

Overnight, it poured with rain and there was a large storm with much thunder and lightning (this was not predicted in the forecast yesterday; some areas were flooded including parts of the city where I live. I was awakened last night by my daughter running into my room to say she wanted me to close the windows in her room as the sound of thunder was disturbing her. I shut the windows while watching the spectacular flashes of lightning in the sky.)

In the morning, I felt grateful for the rain--though a little less would have been helpful-- no need for flooding! (The Divine will obviously say there is no pleasing us humans-- everything is either too much or too little!).

The bottom line is I have now selected a muhurtha for my seventh purascharana of the ashtakshara mantra of Narayana-- and the intention is to start this next week. (Sometimes I wonder if I should have selected a Krishna mantra in the past for mantra deeksha, but He is an avatar of Narayana, and the ashtakshara mantra just feels so right to me which helps lay this doubt to rest). 

This is going to be a very chilled out purascharana. It will be done at the rate of 8-9 malas per day, with a view to complete it in around 2.5 years.

Every 200,000 recitations (i.e. after every quarter of the purascharana), there will be a relaxation of the japa, down to 1-4 malas. At any time, if the karmas feel too intense and unbearable, there will be a temporary suspension for as long as is needed to recover prior to resuming it. 

Like a mobile phone contract can 'roll' from one month to the next and be suspended at any time, this purascharana also will 'roll' monthly and can be paused at any time! The first four purascharanas were quite pleasant overall. There were no very heavy karmas and no need to worry about pausing. 

In contrast, the fifth and sixth were very tough and full of all sorts of unprecedented challenges. Therefore, it makes complete sense to prepare for anything in the seventh (I will of course try to keep this up as continuously as possible but will need to be prepared to make adjustments based on karmas that may need to be faced).

However, I do hope and pray that the seventh will be better than the previous two. Based on my Vedic astrology chart, a horrible phase (Rahu- Jupiter) is ending, and a more auspicious period is beginning (Rahu-Saturn; this is based on Lahiri ayanamsa, towards which I am leaning again as this seems more accurate than other ayanamsas with regard to my dashas).

Saturn demands discipline, regular spiritual practice and adherence to dharma. As a Taurus ascendant, it rules my 9th house of dharma and 10th house of career (it is exalted in Libra, my sixth house of health issues/enemies/legal matters--yikes! This placement usually means a person will have a battle on their hands with regard to these but will prevail!). I am going to start a new post workwise when this period begins after a couple of months. We shall see what the future brings.

So this post is basically to say that purascharana seven is very much on the cards and is due to begin much sooner than I had planned. The events of the past week have been like a bolt from the blue (quite literally!) and have compelled me to take this step.

There is a nice placement of Jupiter, Venus and Mercury all together in the sign of Cancer currently. I plan to utilise this auspicious conjunction to get my seventh purascharana off to a positive start-- I feel  I will need all the help I can get from the stars to complete this!

For those readers who have not yet considered this practice, I would say that it is both very rewarding and challenging (ultimately, in a good way)-- overall, it is very much worth it.

Om Namo Narayanaya.

Hari Aum Tat Sat.

Courage

 Hari Aum.

Courage is one of the most essential qualities in a sadhaka or spiritual seeker. 

Without this quality, there can be no success in spiritual or material life. 

Let us examine this quality further. What is courage? How do we develop it? What help does the universe/Divine provide us in developing this quality? What is the foundation of courage? Let us explore.

Courage is defined in the Merriam-Webster dictionary as “mental or moral strength to venture, persevere, and withstand danger, fear, or difficulty”.

Courage does not necessarily mean the absence of fear. It involves the ability to conquer it, the ability to be a master of it and not its slave.

Courage is intimately related to dharma or goodness. When one aligns oneself with dharma, with the Divine, the feeling of courage arises naturally.

The knowledge that we are acting in accordance with the still, small voice of our conscience, our conscience which is rooted in the divine, gives us courage. 

Our conscience, our inner moral compass, indeed our inner divine compass, speaks to us of truth, non-violence and other divine qualities. It is the voice of our higher self, which is an aspect of God. 

Every time we consciously act in accordance with the divine qualities of ahimsa (non-violence), satya (truthfulness) and brahmacharya (control of our senses), we are expressing the divine aspect of our nature. And, courage is the nature of the Divine.

Courage is required at every step in life as a spiritual seeker. For example, it takes courage to:

-seek the Divine

-commit to spiritual life (while overcoming one’s inner doubts and fears, and the criticism of those opposed to spiritual life)

-face one’s own lower mind (deal with one’s own inner demons or undivine qualities—we all have these)

-perform a daily spiritual practice despite the various challenges that occur in life (related to health, family, work and so on). Mantra japa helps to develop courage.

-accept spiritual experiences (we all say we want these, but when they occur, they may feel challenging especially for the lower mind)

-speak the truth

-be non-violent 

-control the senses 

-develop divine qualities within oneself and rise above one’s lower nature 

-admit one’s mistakes and weaknesses (we all have these) and take steps to rectify them.

- give up the ego, the lower self, the sense of separation from God.

-accept uncertainty in life

-live in the spirit of ‘Thy will be done’, a sense of acceptance of the will of the Divine (not as a slave to the lower self which says ‘my will be done’)

-face the awakening of the Kundalini

-face one’s karmas 

-face all challenges in spiritual life emanating from one’s own mind and body, other living beings and the world as a whole 

Courage is the hallmark of a spiritual seeker. It is the beginning, middle and destination of spiritual life.

For spiritual seekers who are twin souls, courage additionally involves:

-accepting one’s experiences

-expressing one’s truth to one’s soul counterpart 

God helps those who help themselves, as the saying goes. She/He gives courage to us when we ourselves take steps in this direction, when we attempt to live a life in accordance with dharma.

Sivananda says: 

“Trials, difficulties, troubles and suffering are necessary for your purification and to strengthen your will and power of endurance. Face them bravely and come out triumphantly. Press on. Strive on with all your will; only then is the grace of God bestowed. God helps those who help themselves.”

https://www.sivanandaonline.org/?cmd=displaysection&section_id=423

Om Namo Narayanaya 

Hari Aum Tat Sat.

Lakshmi sadhana

 Hari Aum.

It is very hot in many places on the planet currently. In these circumstances, it feels natural in my view to turn to worshipping a cooling form of the Divine, namely Mother Lakshmi.

Since November 2011, I have been an enthusiastic worshipper of Narayana/ Krishna by doing daily japa. After doing sadhana for some time, one's deep-seated karmas begin to emerge and this can feel quite taxing. I have had my share of dealing with various karmas, particularly in recent years. I am very much in the mood to seek refuge with Mother Lakshmi as a result.

My plan, therefore, is to spend this time between purascharanas on Lakshmi worship. In the past week, I have taken up regular recitation of one of Her mantras and am also doing some regular puja. I am listening much more to the Sri Suktam again, one of my favourite Vedic prayers. 

I recently bought a copy of the Lakshmi Tantra, a very interesting book about Her worship using various mantras and meditative techniques (I plan to study this in the coming months). This book describes Brahman as equivalent to Lakshmi and Narayana. It describes the spiritual benefits of worshipping them together. 

It also emphasises (as in the Puranas) that the higher Self of all beings is Lakshmi-Narayana (and, with regard to our physical manifestation on this planet, the Puranas say that every woman is a manifestation of Lakshmi, while every man is a manifestation of Narayana).

We are presently in the auspicious month of Purushottama or Adhik masa (that occurs once in three years as per the lunar calendar). This is a very good time to perform spiritual practices as the gates are wide open to receive divine blessings. 

I am using this time to immerse myself in Lakshmi worship. From now until the end of Navaratri this year, I will focus on mantra, yantra and tantra related to Mother Lakshmi. (I continue to worship Narayana by repeating the ashtakshara daily-- however, as I am not currently doing any purascharana, I repeat one mala a day slowly without any pressure. This is proving to be a beneficial experience.)

I have not yet decided when to start the next purascharana. But I know only one thing-- it will happen after I have sufficiently soaked my mind in the worship of Lakshmi (potentially after Navaratri this year). 

I feel happy and peaceful when I recite Her mantra, when I listen to the Sri Suktam and when I engage in Her worship. I want to give sufficient time to these practices for now. I feel that worshipping Lakshmi heals me, recharges my spiritual batteries and gives me the strength to continue sadhana of the ashtakshara. 

 My worship of Lakshmi is not rigid; there is no fixed sankalpa. It is spontaneous and free of any pressure-- after years of the discipline of purascharana, this flexible, spontaneous sadhana of the Divine Mother feels good to me.

I will conclude this post by sharing one of my current favourite online recitations of the Shri Suktam. This is slow and meditative with excellent pronunciation of the Vedic mantras (one can learn to chant along if desired):

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XG_gQfP-R-4

Om Sri Lakshmi-Narayanabhyam Namah.

Om Namo Bhagavate Sivanandaya.

Hari Aum Tat Sat.

P.S. I recently met my spiritual mentor in person; this is the lady Swami whom I have known for over 20 years. I discussed with her the ups and downs of my sadhana, including the apparent presence of a twin soul in my life based upon certain events that have occurred in recent years (since late 2020). I explained to her the experiences that some others and I have had on this specific type of spiritual journey. 

She is a traditional Swami who lives a life of detachment. Upon hearing about this unfamiliar subject, she was surprised and concerned (at one point, she urged me to cut the cord with my twin; however, I explained that this would not be at all helpful, and was also not possible).

I said that my intuition currently is to directly include the Divine in handling this energetic cord. My current feeling is that Lakshmi can be the energetic/soul partner of my twin (rather than me) and Krishna can be my partner (rather than my twin). 

In other words, I hand over my end of this energetic cord to Lakshmi for safe-keeping, and request Krishna to take over my twin's end of the cord with me. Instead of being connected with each other's lower selves, we will thus find ourselves more connected to the higher aspect of each other.

This energetic cord is not easy for most twin souls to handle alone; actively requesting the Divine to intervene and take over would be the right way forward I feel. She agreed that this could be one way of managing this connection.

We will see where this leads us. I have no doubt that there will be ups and downs in this approach too-- however, I remain hopeful that, over time, this will bring a greater sense of wellbeing to myself and my twin. Any other twin souls reading this post, may also wish to explore this option. I feel intuitively that this could be very helpful on this type of spiritual journey.

Hari Aum Tat Sat.

A play: Conversation between the higher and lower mind part 3

 Hari Aum.

Om Namo Narayanaya.

As spiritual seekers, we know there are two main opposing forces within us which can be called the higher and lower mind. 

Let us continue the conversation between them (from a twin soul perspective).

Lower mind: eating chocolate and watching a movie (enjoying 'spiritual downtime')

Higher mind: 'Hey. We need to talk"

Lower mind: "Not now, I'm busy! It's my spiritual downtime. I don't want to hear anything about spirituality!"

Higher mind: "This is important. Why were you so rude to the twin? You've offended them and they've disappeared off radar!"

Lower mind: "I don't know what you mean! I haven't done anything. I've just been minding my own business!"

Higher mind: "I don't think they appreciated you crying and lamenting over this journey. You've put them off and they're doing another runner. What is the matter with you two lower minds honestly!"

Lower mind: "It's not our fault, honest. Look at all the challenges on this journey! You're asking me why I upset the twin, but I want to ask you something too— why did you upset the spouse? 

Your obsession with being truthful all the time is an issue! I had told you previously that it is good to lie occasionally but you simply do not listen! You had to try and explain this connection to them again recently (and after they had said not to bring it up!)-- and got properly flayed as a result. What did you expect?!"

Higher mind: "Look, honesty really is the best policy in my opinion (at least, for me). In the short term, I accept it can create some challenges. In the long term, however, it is the only way. I am not comfortable with telling lies; this is not in accordance with dharma. 

However, I can accept that sharing every detail of everything all the time may not be necessary or helpful. I do respect the spouse's wishes and do not bring up this topic often. But this connection is real and important to me and there are certain occasions when I feel I must bring it up."

Lower mind: "As far as I can see, this twin soul journey involves both the twin and the spouse getting offended and angry at one! Please explain the point of this? It's utterly ridiculous! The most absurd thing is that this seems to be a common issue for many twins. How do you plan to resolve this? There does not seem to be any solution for us or any other twin souls in a similar situation!"

Higher mind: "You can mock me all you like but being truthful has a certain power of its own. There is an ancient saying 'Satyam eva jayate'  or 'truth alone triumphs'.  This is the teaching of our Gurus and I have some experience of this reality. You will not understand. This current phase is a challenging part of this journey and I will find refuge in spiritual practice. 

I am of the view that this is the answer to achieving peace and harmony in life and is an effective solution to this situation".

Lower mind: "Yes, well, that's up to you— good luck! My philosophy of life is to 'eat, drink and be merry!'. I'm on a non-spiritual holiday now, remember! This is chocolate time, not sadhana time! I'm only prepared to do the bare minimum sadhana at present!"

Higher mind: "Fine, enjoy the chocolate. But remember, in a few weeks, it will be serious sadhana time again!"

Lower mind: "All right! I'm going to enjoy myself thoroughly until then. See you later!"

Note: Regardless of what our lower minds tell us, truth is indeed the very foundation of life. It is the essence of spiritual life. On that note, I would like to share my Guru's teachings on the subject:

https://www.sivanandaonline.org/?cmd=displaysection&section_id=1521

Om Namo Bhagavate Sivanandaya.

Om Namo Narayanaya.

Hari Aum Tat Sat.

The play of gunas in the mind: part 2

 Hari Aum.

As many of us spiritual seekers know, the gunas (qualities) of Prakriti (Nature) are sattva (goodness/ light/ positive qualities), rajas (activity/ passion/anger etc), and tamas (ignorance/ inertia/darkness). According to our scriptures, these three principles are present everywhere in the material realms.

Eleven years ago, I wrote a post on the manner in which these three gunas can influence the mind of the spiritual seeker. 

https://mantrayoga.blogspot.com/2015/12/the-play-of-gunas-in-our-minds.html

Today, I want to write a post on the expression of these gunas in the mind of a specific type of spiritual seeker-- known as the twin soul. There are a quite a few of us twin souls on this planet and, as this is not an easy soul journey, I feel like sharing my thoughts on this topic.

The tamasic mind has this approach to the twin flame journey:

-Run...run....keep running away from them and do not stop! 

-Denial. This cannot be happening to me! How can this happen to me?! What is the Divine doing!

-I am ruined

-This is a disaster! Poor me.

-Help! Somebody please help me-- all these dreams of the twin soul, of my Guru and the Divine make me very uneasy! 

-I just want to live a 'normal life' (mostly eating popcorn, watching movies, eating chocolate and sleeping!). I only want to do what everyone else does-- you know, 'normal' things (eating, sleeping, earning money, hanging out with family and friends). 

-I do not want to do any spiritual practices or walk the spiritual path. Material life all the way, I say!

The rajasic mind has this approach to the twin flame journey:

-Chase, chase...keep chasing them!

-The twin is really hot!

-Forget raising the kundalini to any higher chakras— my favourites are the lower two—that is the be-all and end-all of my existence!

-I want to live a happy, highly sensual and entirely mundane life! 

-All twin souls should basically marry and have kids—that is literally the only purpose of this experience, and nothing else! (Those who do not follow this formula are very foolish!)

-Spiritual life is total nonsense and this bond is not meant to be wasted on spirituality! 

The sattvic mind has this approach to the twin flame journey:

-It is becoming very clear that this is a significant milestone in the spiritual journey

-No running or chasing is needed please (as we cannot really be separated, and this would therefore make no sense)!

-The dreams of the Divine, of the twin soul, and the repeating angel numbers (will write another post on this sometime) definitely mean something-- they are not random. I must pay attention and learn what it is that the Divine wants from me here.

-I have faith in myself, in my ability to adhere to dharma and perform my duties, both material and spiritual. This faith is due to the grace of my Guru, of the Divine. 

-Equally, I have faith in my twin-- I have seen that they too, know the importance of dharma and karma. I intuitively feel that they are doing what they need to on this planet.

-Things are going to turn out ok. This path has involved a lot of karmic purging. I will not let this go to waste-- not for me, and not for my twin (for whom I do have a deep spiritual love that nobody except another twin soul, God and Guru can ever understand).

-The pain that my twin and I have gone through will pave the way for our spiritual progress. I will do my part in full to ensure this. And I have faith that they will do their part too.

-This entire experience has only increased my commitment to spiritual life further. I am stronger today than I was before I had this experience. 

-I am going to get through this, and I know my twin will too. We have our spiritual guides, our Gurus and the Divine. They are with us all the way. And we are going to walk our spiritual paths with full commitment.

-Every tear, every hurt, every moment of suffering that we have experienced on this journey will have been worth it when we achieve the spiritual goal—and we will certainly achieve this through our own efforts that will draw the grace of Guru and God. 

-The karmic purging that we have been through has lessened our karmic burden from past lifetimes-- this has been painful but is deeply valuable from a spiritual perspective. I know that the Divine cannot be attained unless karmic debts are cleared in full, and we have cleared many karmas and will continue to clear our spiritual debts.

-I am going to remain positive and keep walking the spiritual path. I am absolutely going to continue my spiritual practice and keep striving to attune myself to the will of the Divine. And, when my will is attuned in full to that of the Divine (and not my lower ego), success in life will be assured in all aspects -- in the way defined by the Divine. I know this because I have already felt a little of this in my life, and I will keep going, God-willing.

-I feel confident, happy and secure knowing that the Divine has my back. 

-I cannot wait to get started on the next mantra purascharana in the coming weeks! Bring it on I say!

Spiritual life all the way! :)

To summarise,

Tamas and rajas do not allow the twin soul seeker to benefit spiritually from this journey. They keep the spiritual energy/ the kundalini in the lower chakras.

Sattva allows the spiritual seeker to attune themselves to Divine will and progress rapidly on the spiritual path (the twin soul journey can significantly accelerate spiritual progress if approached the right way. It rapidly awakens the kundalini which can then be guided through sadhana to rise to the higher chakras). 

-Dharma and karma yoga are the foundation of this path along with bhakti.

-Faith in oneself, one's twin, Guru and God leads one forward on this spiritual journey.

I will conclude this post by expressing my gratitude to Guru, God, and all those twin souls (including my own) who have directly and indirectly provided me with significant help in my spiritual life. 

Om Namo Narayanaya. Om Sri Durgayai Namah. Om Namo Bhagavate Sivanandaya.

Hari Aum Tat Sat.

P.S. A note to my twin:

Even in separation, I feel in union with you. Is this not strange? Or maybe not so strange!

Om Namo Narayanaya.

Nritya: the benefits of dance

 Hari Aum.

We are approaching the halfway mark of this year (unbelievable how quickly it's flying by!) and I hope all of you are well and enjoying your sadhana.

In my case, as I mentioned in a recent post, I am on a spiritual 'holiday'-- I am presently between purascharanas and am making the most of my spiritual downtime! :) 

I am doing a mere 1 mala a day of the ashtakshara mantra of Narayana (down from the average of 7 during the last purascharana). Having taken mantra initiation, the yogic rule is that the mantra must be repeated daily (at least 1 mala/ 108 recitations which takes only 5 minutes). I am therefore dutifully sticking to this rule.

Aside from this, I am repeating some mini-malas (27 recitations) of a Durga mantra, and occasionally some mantras of Lakshmi and Sarasvati almost daily. I remember the Divine Mother a lot these days-- I actually feel closer to Her than Krishna/Narayana (my ishta devata) at present.

As mentioned in previous posts, I have not been too pleased with Krishna in recent years. I have been trying to escape Him but it is of no use. 

My Bharatanatyam dance exams are looming in a couple of months. (I have a number of dance pieces to learn for this examination, including the material from previous years, so it feels a lot more challenging than preparing for our performance in January which went off fairly well!). The syllabus this year includes various aspects of Bharatanatyam such as 'nritta'/pure dance, and 'nritya'/ narrating a story-- and no less than two out of six or seven dance pieces this year are dedicated solely to Krishna!

As part of learning these dances (a 'shabdam' and a 'kirtanam'), my dance teacher has asked our class to explore the lilas of Lord Krishna from the perspective of the gopis (the cowherd women of Vrindavana and perhaps His greatest devotees). We, therefore, have to contemplate, and give expression to, His various childhood lilas such the stealing of butter and hearts, lifting the Govardhana mountain, and playing the flute and mesmerising everyone. 

As we dance, we need to contemplate Krishna's divine form as we gaze soulfully into the distance! It appears that meditation upon Krishna is vital to be able to survive my upcoming dance examination. (As I said in a previous post, once there is a bond with the Divine, He/She does not abandon us, even if we want to abandon Him/Her!)

Speaking of dance, I would like to say that modern medicine says that this is excellent for both physical and mental health. Dance gets the blood circulating, strengthens muscles (a student who recently started told me today that she has discovered muscles she never knew she had!) and improves coordination. 

And, unlike many other forms of exercise (such as swimming, walking or running), dance develops memory as one needs to learn various types of choreography. The article below describes the many health benefits of dancing: 

https://hms.harvard.edu/news-events/publications-archive/brain/dancing-brain

From a spiritual perspective, dance can be a dynamic form of meditation upon the Divine (as explained above). It can also help stimulate the flow of prana (or chi in Chinese medicine) and thus benefit the astral body (sukshma sharira) not only the physical one. This is perhaps why many people who feel a bit jaded before a dance class feel much more energised and refreshed mentally afterwards. 

Dance also helps creativity. Some say it helps people get in touch with their feminine side (a male student in my class informed me last year that his wife, who is also a student, had encouraged him to join for this reason; he had been learning martial arts for some years but still found dance to be physically challenging!). And of course, it is also a great way of spending time with family and friends. 

There are so many different dance styles to choose from (virtually every country in the world has developed some form of dance so there are options to suit a variety of tastes). If you haven't yet explored dance as a hobby, I would recommend trying a few styles and picking one that suits you.

As mentioned last month, I am busy placating my lower mind with chocolate and other sweet treats as I prepare myself mentally to take on another purascharana (probably after the dance examination). All this dancing has given me a good excuse to enjoy more of these (yet another benefit of dancing)! :)

I will conclude by sharing a link to a beautiful piece of Odissi celebrating the arrival of the monsoon rains (including the dancing of peacocks) after the scorching heat of summer; this is one of the most ancient classical dance forms of India:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-tAmSrLGAYM

Om Sri Krishnaya Namah. Om Sri Durgayai Namah. Om Namo Bhagavate Sivanandaya.

Hari Aum Tat Sat.

The caterpillar

Hari Aum.

I happened to come across this interesting article online (see link below) which describes the transformation of a caterpillar into a butterfly. 

https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/caterpillar-butterfly-metamorphosis-explainer/

It is such an extraordinary journey, so challenging and yet so beautiful. And of course, a perfect metaphor for spiritual life, hence the reason I am writing about it here.

I thought I would write a small story describing the very real challenges that we spiritual seekers face on our journey.

Imagine a scene in a lush rainforest in the tropics, perhaps in Kerala. A number of worms wiggle about on various plants and leaves and on the earth. Some are caterpillars, others are earthworms, centipedes and millipedes. They eat leaves with great enjoyment and grow bigger and bigger.

One day, some of them dimly perceive (their eyesight is not very good!) a dash of moving colour amongst the flowering plants. They wonder what this might be. Some of the worms declare that they spotted a winged insect, the mythical creature called the butterfly. Others declare that butterflies do not exist at all-- the only type of creature that exists is the worm!

Some of the caterpillars earnestly explain to the other worms that butterflies are real. These beautiful creatures truly exist! 

However, the earthworms dismiss this as a fairytale! There is no such thing as a butterfly, they declare with absolute certainty! Those that talk of butterflies are simply delusional-- one should stay away from them (in case the madness is catching!).

Saying this, the earthworms bury themselves in the dark, moist earth. (Earthworms are wonderful and useful worms-- in this story, however, the earthworm represents tamas, a love for darkness and spiritual ignorance).

Centipedes are creatures that can bite quite viciously. Upon hearing the caterpillars talk about butterflies, they get very angry! What nonsense! It is a complete pack of lies to believe in butterflies, let alone imagine that a worm can become one! 

A worm is a worm and should know its place in the world—which is to crawl upon the ground. It is perfectly absurd for a worm to imagine itself flying about in the sky!

The centipedes tell the caterpillars that they are either lying or mad or both! They then march off in a temper to find some insects to inject their venom into and eat. (In this story, the centipede represents the rajasic mind, that thinks it knows everything, that is close-minded, haughty and aggressive).

Hearing these arguments, the millipedes become very nervous. They think there may be some truth in what the caterpillars say but are afraid of saying so openly. They are scared of being ridiculed by the other worms. 

So, they defensively curl up into little balls and disappear from sight. They effectively deny what they know to be true. (In this story, the millipede represents those who know there is a spiritual reality, but who are very fearful, who lack the courage and conviction to acknowledge this truth and seek it in their lives.)

The caterpillars, on the other hand, represent spiritual seekers. They represent the sattvic mind, the higher mind filled with positive qualities. 

After eating a lot of leaves (representing spiritual practice!), they have grown quite a bit. They have shed their outer layers a few times and the next stage has come-- the time for major transformation, the stage of the chrysalis.

This is a very challenging stage. They will need to retreat from the world completely and conceal themselves within a special case called the chrysalis. Within the chrysalis, they will have to give up their very existence as caterpillars. 

They will need to do what the yogis tell us spiritual seekers to do— 'die to live'. 

The caterpillar will need to melt its very being into a 'soup', losing the body that has so far been familiar, losing its very identity as a caterpillar. It digests its own body which is then re-organised into that of the butterfly. This is an extraordinary and magical process.

Therefore, the caterpillars make their way to a secluded spot where they will commence the process of becoming butterflies. They secrete a silken thread and, mixing this with earth and leaves (to better hide themselves), begin to wrap this all over themselves. Soon, they are hidden from view and the silken structure becomes more firm and forms the protective chrysalis. 

Inside the chrysalis, each caterpillar must face the great transformation alone (only God is present to support it). The caterpillar alone knows what it goes through during this time of intense change. As its body begins to melt away, it must have faith that it will succeed in forming a new one, the one that is its destiny.

The caterpillar must also have great courage. To melt oneself into nothing is no easy task. To give up that which is comfortable and familiar is not easy. However, it trusts in the process and surrenders to it. It allows Mother Nature to do Her work.

The caterpillar also requires great patience. It must be prepared to spend a certain period of time within the chrysalis. The time required to transform is predetermined; this cannot be hurried in any way.

So, with great courage, faith, patience and surrender, the caterpillar allows Mother Nature to do Her work. It cooperates with Her, it does not resist when Nature commands it to begin the process of transformation. It does not protest, it does not say it is too painful and difficult. 

No, the caterpillar allows Nature to take its course. It allows Nature to mould it, to transform it.

And, after a period of time, when many wonderful changes have taken place, the new butterfly forms. It must now carefully squeeze itself out of the chrysalis, a process which again takes some time.

Finally, after completing the incredible transformation and emerging from its chrysalis, the butterfly must wait patiently for its wings to dry before it can take flight. 

And when that moment finally arrives, what a moment it is! As it flutters high up into the air, the butterfly marvels at the world that appears so different from its previous experience as a caterpillar—it can see so much more clearly and can do so much more. It has a far more fulfilling existence than previously.

Only the butterfly knows the bliss of the wonderful nectar it drinks from various colourful flowers. It alone knows the sublime joy it feels as it flutters high above the earth, and as it plays with other butterflies in the air (those who have also completed the same arduous journey; it takes a butterfly to truly know another!). 

These are the sweet rewards it receives from Mother Nature for having gone through such an immensely challenging journey.  

(And perhaps without realising, it has become a vital part of Nature needed to support life on our planet—by helping the growth of plants through the process of pollination. Not to mention the joy it unknowingly gives other beings by displaying the stunning artwork on its wings.)

As the butterflies of various colours fly swiftly past the next generation of little caterpillars chewing upon their leaves, some of them might whisper in the breeze: ‘Truly, you are baby butterflies! You are one of us and you too can make it as we did. Do not give up; keep going! We’re cheering you on! It is very much worth it!’

The naysayer worms, who continue to wiggle about on the earth, may or may not believe they exist. They may argue and endlessly debate this amongst themselves—but the butterflies simply do not care! They are too busy enjoying their new and beautiful existence!

The little caterpillar is a true inspiration for us spiritual seekers. It represents immense faith, courage, surrender and patience.

In a sense, we are all spiritual caterpillars. Despite the doubt, disbelief, anger, fear and other negative qualities that abound on our planet (both within and without us), we must work for our spiritual growth. We must break free of the misery of the cycle of birth and death for that is our spiritual birthright as human beings; it is our destiny.

And, as those who have attained spiritual knowledge (our teachers/Gurus, represented here by the butterflies) tell us, there are no shortcuts on the spiritual path. 

Each caterpillar has the potential to attain its destiny of becoming a butterfly. However, it has to be willing to go through the process in full. It must develop the necessary qualities and make a serious effort. 

The existence of butterflies gives hope and encouragement to caterpillars that they can do it too. What one has done, another with the same potential (and we all have spiritual potential) can also do.

As spiritual seekers who perform sadhana, we are currently within the sacred space of our own chrysalis. It will take time for us to transform but we have to trust the process. 

As the caterpillar melts its body, we melt our ego, our individual sense of self. And this is a great task. It is immensely challenging.

And there may be times when we understandably simply want the process to be over. We may want to escape the chrysalis before we are ready. But we must not because that would be most unwise.

We have to allow Mother Nature/ the Divine Mother to perform Her work upon us. And we do this, by performing a simple daily spiritual practice of our liking-- be it mantra japa, bhajan, puja, homam, karma yoga or anything else.

And we must encourage each other to keep going. Hearing another caterpillar in distress within their chrysalis, we must be able to say 'Hang in there, it is going to be ok!'. And there will be times when others will say the same to us when we are facing our own challenges in life. There will always be ups and downs within the chrysalis of sadhana. 

However, just as God who exists everywhere, is present with every caterpillar within its chrysalis, so also He/She is with each one of us (whether we feel it or not) every step of the way as we go through our own spiritual transformation.

I will conclude with a couple of sayings of my Guru, Sivananda. 

He said to humanity:

 “Eating, drinking, sleeping! A little laughter! Much weeping! Is that all? Do not die here like a worm. Wake up! Attain Immortal Bliss.” 

“The goal of life is God realisation. Never forget this. It is your birthright.” 

This is an excellent article explaining the essence of the spiritual path as taught by Gurudev Sivananda:

https://www.sivanandaonline.org//cmd=displaysection&section_id=1682

Om Namo Narayanaya. Om Sri Durgayai Namah.

Om Namo Bhagavate Sivanandaya.

Hari Aum Tat Sat.