Sunday 8 May 2016

The meaning of renunciation and detachment

Hari Aum.

Renunciation and detachment are said to be the essence of spirituality. I would like to share my understanding on these subjects as I see them. This is partly because I feel these are much misunderstood concepts, and that the misunderstanding of these can cause serious harm to oneself and others. I have had direct experience of this harm in my own life and would like to enable others to avoid this if possible.

Renunciation and detachments are qualities of the mind. Contrary to popular belief, renunciation is not about leaving one's relatives, one's job and donning the orange robe. And equally, detachment is not about becoming cold and unloving, about shutting off one's emotions, or about becoming robot-like.

Renunciation is letting go of the idea of me and mine. Detachment means letting go of desire for worldly things. Both primarily involve an inner change in angle of vision. Instead of saying 'my husband', 'my wife', 'my child', 'my parents'- there is a subtle change, and one instead begins to think 'God as my husband', 'God as my wife', 'God as my parents', 'God as my child' and so on. The husband, wife, child and parents are not to be necessarily discarded. The feeling of 'my' is to be discarded. The understanding needs to be developed that all is God- and that God is manifesting as one's home, one's family, one's workmates and so on.

Equally detachment means getting detached from the idea of me and mine, and letting go of desire for worldly things. It involves developing a desire for, an attachment to God. Swami Sivananda used to say "Detach and attach". Detach your mind's desires from the world, and attach your mind's desires to God. As explained above, this does not mean you leave the world (you cannot anyway) - it means you leave the idea of the world, and develop the idea of God. You begin to feel that the world itself is God in manifestation.

The development of this angle of vision of seeing only God everywhere and wanting God alone, is called true renunciation and true detachment. This involves loving the whole world as one's family (not ceasing to love everybody including one's family). This involves loving the world as a manifestation of God.

In the twelve years since I discovered  my Guru and yoga, I have met quite a few Swamis who seem to have an incorrect notion of detachment. As a result, many of them have become rather cold and lack compassion for fellow human beings and also sometimes towards themselves. This is not detachment. This is himsa or violence- towards oneself and others. This cannot lead anywhere good on the spiritual path.

Equally renunciation is not about replacement. It is not about replacing one's home with a large Ashram, or about replacing one's job with the role of the head of an Ashram or acquiring some important job in an Ashram. It is not about giving up one's name and fame in the regular world, and trying to obtain name and fame as a Swami. It is not about replacing one's small-time home/job/family with an even grander home/job/family in the name of Sannyas. This is what quite a few Sannyasis seem to do today.
They leave their relatives and acquire many new relatives in the form of disciples/students/fellow seekers, they leave their small or big job and obtain an even bigger job with greater name/fame as a Spiritual Director, Ashram founder, Trustee or something similar. After acquiring more name, fame, wealth and relatives that the average house-holder they then look down upon the poor house-holder and suggest he/she is not 'renounced' enough,  when they have supposedly 'renounced' everything. What sort of renunciation is this? It is a mockery of Sannyas.

I am not saying that Sannyasis should not live in big Ashrams and fly around the world to teach people. This is vitally important. But why call allow yourself to be called Guru Maharaj, praised and flattered by all? Why all this before attaining God which is the reason one took sannayas? Many God-realised teachers have come; today their teachings are available to all in the form of many centres, books and, best of all, via online access. We do not need more and more teachers with no direct experience of God.

After attaining God, one can teach and hold great titles if God desires this. All great spiritual teachers of humanity who were really able to uplift and truly serve humanity first discovered the pearl of spirituality within the ocean of their mind. They had direct experience of God.
They did not become Guru Maharaj, MahaMandaleshwar, Ashram Director, Founder of XYZ spiritual organisation etc etc first. This may have occurred later and was as worthless as straw to them- what value can such titles have, that represent praise from mere human beings, when one has obtained the Grace of God Himself? Does one need a certificate of approval from human beings when one has got this from God Himself?

Equally obtaining such praise from human beings, without first attaining God, can become a serious obstacle in the life of the unwary seeker after God. Power and fame has lead to the downfall of many a yogi.

Anyway my point is, claiming to be a renunciate after acquiring a large ashram, a number of disciples, fame, wealth and power is nonsense (if one has not yet attained God). Far better for spiritual life to be a simple unassuming house-holder with less trappings of name/fame/power etc.

Another thing about being a house-holder is that your family will freely criticise you if they don't like something- you will get ample opportunity to test yourself in the face of abuse and injury! On the other hand, if you become a great sannyasi, people will simply touch your feet all day, nobody will dare criticise you (because if they do, you will be displeased and kick them out of your ashram)- and in the absence of criticism, your ego will get fatter and fatter. And that is the end of your spiritual life.

So my message for young 20-somethings who have recently discovered spirituality and are consumed with the fire of renunciation is be very cautious. Think deeply about your life. Do not be too hasty in dumping your family, your job and everything else. Ask yourself- can you see God in your family? Can you see God in your workplace?  Or do you feel you can only see God in an Ashram? Are you seeking after name and fame in joining an Ashram, or are you happy to be an unheard-of  nobody there? If you truly examine your conscience and find it clear, and feel the best way you can serve humanity and God is by joining an Ashram, then by all means do so. On the other hand, if your conscience pricks you regarding your parents and dependents, do not abandon them- listen to your conscience, feel the presence of God in your parents/family and serve them well. This will also lead you to God.

And do not make the mistake that I made if possible. The wise learn from the mistakes of others (though sometimes you just have to make your own mistakes, suffer and learn the hard way). At the age of 22 when I discovered my Guru, while in my second year at medical school, I announced to my family that I was going to leave my studies and join the Sivananda organisation as a volunteer/karma yogi (with the view to taking vows of brahmacharya and later sannyas). I thought this was the only way to God. My mother shed tears and threatened to throw me out of the house and not speak to me at all. The rest of my family were annoyed and confused. My fiance who I broke up was extremely upset by my behaviour. I remained unmoved by all their tears and threats, thinking this was all a test of my courage and determination. I felt that although difficult I must walk this path. I caused a lot of pain to others and felt pain myself. I approached the most senior Swami in the organisation and asked her for permission to join them- she advised me to finish my studies and only then make my decision- she said you must finish what you have started.

Reluctantly then, I decided to continue my studies but made an arrangement with my mother that I would do this only if I was allowed to move out of home and live in the local Sivananda Centre. I said that before joining them for good, I wanted to observe them closely. I wanted to see if the private life of the Swamis and Ashram residents matched their public face in the satsangs. It was a wise decision that I made. The scales fell from my eyes. I found that the Swamis and brahmacharis were genuinely good people for the most part, but they were not more saintly than anyone outside the Ashram. They also had petty jealousies, power struggles, anger issues etc like anyone else. Some of them seemed cold and cut off from emotions in the name of renunciation and detachment. I decided that I did not want to join an organisation and get caught in internal struggles for name, fame and power.

In the meantime I found joy and inspiration in my medical work. I felt that it was my vocation to make my medical work into a sadhana. Hence my decision to continue as a doctor in the world (for now anyway- man proposes and God disposes so one never knows what the future holds).

My point is that any job can be yoga (not just the Swami job), you can teach yourself to see God in anyone (even your family, not just Ashram dwellers). By all means join an Ashram if that's what you want to do, but understand your intention well, and examine your conscience thoroughly to ensure you are really acting unselfishly in doing this.

And one final message for those spiritual house-holders who are made to feel inferior for being house-holders by Swamis (who are Directors/Mandaleshwars etc). Remember far better being a lowly house-holder than a powerful Swami.

Power and God do not mix well. Stay humble, do sadhana, and fear not. If you have a mantra, you have the treasure of the world with you. The orange robe and kamandalu (water pot) are not the essence of sannyas. The mantra is the essence of sannyas. The essence of renunciation and detachment is the mantra. Get mantra diksha if possible, and water the seed of mantra sown in you with regular daily practice. Serve all well seeing God in them. This is very difficult but has to be done to make spiritual progress.

Keep quiet and tolerate insults/abuse from your wife/husband seeing God only in them- that is much more difficult to do than renouncing them and will lead you to God quicker. ;) (I am not saying one should tolerate domestic abuse here obviously- that is unacceptable. My point is, one should learn not to react to every petty criticism that people make including one's own so-called near and dear ones).

But seriously, my Guru also said that one should change one's mindset to that of a renunciate to make spiritual progress, not merely change one's external circumstances. Changing one outer circumstances is relatively easy, changing one's mindset is much more difficult but essential.

Also I like to remind myself that Malati Tapovan Mataji, a simple unassuming housewife disciple of Sivananda attained God as a result of tapas done while living in her ordinary home in Delhi looking after her husband and three children, while many Sanyasis who had 'renounced' their homes and were living near Sivananda did not attain God at all.

The sannyas path is the right path to God for some, the house-holder path is the right path to God for others. Let nobody tell the spiritual house-holder than he/she cannot be a renunciate, and that he/she cannot attain God. Renunciation and detachment are of the mind.  Let us request God Himself to decide what path we should walk at any point in time - householder renunciate, or ashram-dweller renunciate, or wandering renunciate. That is the only way we can ensure we're walking on the right path.

Hari Aum Tat Sat

1 comment:

  1. Having said all that I have above about Swamis, ;) I want to say that some of them are truly noble and great people and all seekers must be grateful to them for upholding the noble order of Sannyas and everything it stands for.

    I do not know this Swami (Suryadevananda) at all but discovered his website today while searching online for fellow disciples of Swami Sivananda.

    He sings kirtan without any fancy instruments but very movingly. While listening I felt the Goddess of Devotion Radha must have blessed this noble soul with devotion to enable him to enable to sing in such a way....I pray he may attain the Goal soon if he has not already...wish the same for all sincere Swamis and seekers everywhere. Want to share a video of his kirtan....listen in at around 30 minutes to the "Hari Narayana song" - is very good.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mMhLG6UB8DQ

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