Mistakes, sins and forgiveness

 Hari Aum.

Mistakes and sins are an inevitable part of human life according to the yogis. After all, they say this world is a school--a place for the soul to have various experiences and grow.

Every action produces a result according to the law of karma. Actions are motivated by our thoughts, so the yogis advise us to keep an eye on our thoughts, on the direction that our minds take in general. As spiritual seekers, we know that controlling the mind is one of the toughest challenges if not the main challenge of spiritual life. 

Actions that go against the law of dharma (righteousness) are unhelpful in both material and spiritual life; these are said to produce suffering both here and hereafter. Sometimes, we can find ourselves in tricky situations, a dilemma where it is not clear what dharma is.

There is said to be a rule which helps us work out what dharma is-- "Do as you would be done by" is the rule. Sometimes there can still be confusion despite our best efforts to apply this rule. There can be complex situations with conflicting interests when it is not clear what dharma is.

At times like that, we are liable to make mistakes and sins. (The word sin has a very negative connotation and I really don't like using it as it sounds so judgemental-- but I do need to use it here unfortunately as it is an important topic in spiritual life; it is not intended to sound judgemental though, rather just as a fact of human life).

A mistake is something that we do unintentionally; when we break the law of dharma or ethics without really meaning to. Maybe due to a lack of understanding, some miscommunication or something like that.

A sin is something we do deliberately. It is not a mistake. It is intentional, for example, a deliberate attempt to harm some living being (animals and insects are included), an intentional lie to mislead somebody and similar lowly acts. 

We cannot pretend that we are completely pure and holy and above all mistakes and sin. If we were that way, we would be enlightened beings already. The whole purpose of spiritual life is to gradually gravitate towards the divine element in us and thus automatically move away from all that is undivine within, away from the spiritual ignorance that leads to mistakes and sins.

So as we walk the spiritual path, we can expect to stumble and fall many times. We have to pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off and carry on walking. It would be foolish to beat ourselves us up and refuse to keep walking. Equally, it would be wrong to dismiss our mistakes and sins and not take them seriously. 

What then is the right approach towards the mistakes and sins that we inevitably make during our journey here on Earth? 

Shall we be guilty about them forever? Shall we deny or dismiss them? Pretend they never happened? Can we escape the consequences of our actions with that approach? Will we learn anything and progress spiritually that way? The answer to all these questions is obviously no. None of these attitudes is helpful.

There is a saying that it takes courage to walk the spiritual path. Great courage in fact. Why? Because it involves looking at ourselves honestly, even the parts of ourselves we may not like, or feel embarrassed by, or feel are imperfect. This hurts the 'ego' but is absolutely necessary for spiritual development. If we do not recognise and admit that we have made a mistake or sin, then how can we improve?

So once we've acknowledged that there is a problem, an issue within ourselves, we can do something about it. Feeling regret at what we've done is a positive step. It indicates that we want to improve, we are sincere. 

Based on this regret, we can resolve to do things differently in the future. The key is sincerity. Even if we end up making the same mistake or sin more than once, the very fact that we are trying our best is important, is helpful for our spiritual progress.

And then, if we have wronged somebody, there is a need to make amends. This obviously depends upon the specifics of the situation-- it may involve an apology, some action or something else. Again it takes courage to do this. It can be bruising to the ego but it necessary. And actually, often a sincere apology solves many issues between people, especially minor ones.

For more serious sins and mistakes where we have betrayed somebody's trust or done something really wrong, an apology is appropriate but may not be adequate. We may  have to allow time, perhaps a great deal of time, to see whether the situation can improve.

This brings me to the topic of forgiveness. Much is said about how forgiveness is a virtue, a noble spiriutal quality--and indeed it is. However, forgiveness requires certain criteria to be met. To undertstand this better, let's take the example of a thief and a courtroom.

Imagine a thief is caught and brought before a judge and jury. Let's say this person:

1. Does not feel they have done anything wrong

2. Does not therefore feel they need to change 

3. Is not sorry at all for the wrongs they have done, has no regret or repentence (is only sorry that he/she got caught!)

4. Will continue to commit theft in the future due to the above.

Does such a person merit forgiveness from society? 

Well, clearly the answer is no. Why? Because they:

1. Are ignorant and/or uncaring regarding their wrong behaviour and the impact of this on others

2. Have no wish at all to improve or change 

3. Will continue to harm society by their actions in the future.

In order to obtain forgiveness from people, we need to act. Certain things need to happen within our minds and our conduct for us to deserve forgiveness.

What needs to happen? The following seems to be the logical approach:

1. Self-awareness: firstly, an awareness that a mistake or sin was committed 

2. Accepting responsibility: we are ultimately responsible for our own actions and need to accept this

3. Sincere regret: this is a positive quality, feeling sorry for the negative impact of our actions on others

4. Change: a wish to do things better in the future and backing this up with appropriate change in how we act

5. Making amends: this is for the mistakes and sins already made. While it is good to say that we will not repeat the errors of the past in the future, we are still accountable for what we have already done. This usually involve doing something positive to atone for previous misdeeds (e.g. a judge may ask a thief to pay a fine or do some community service to make amends for the crimes commited).

Forgiveness is not something we can just expect or demand from those we have wronged without going through the above process, without showing some remorse, without making some effort.

This process is also something we need to go through when we seek forgiveness from God for our errors. We cannot ask for forgiveness for something and then immediately commit the same mistake and sin. That would be hypocrisy and certainly not merit any forgiveness at all.

My Guru Sivananda, says the following about forgiveness for sins:

"Contrition, change of heart, is the only condition for God’s forgiveness of human sin. Confess your sin. Repent for your sin. Turn away from sin. Do not repeat it again. Pray. Do Japa. Meditate. Practice Pranayama. Do expiatory acts. All your sins will be washed away. You will shine with lustre and brilliance."

"Hear the words of assurance of Lord Krishna in the Gita: “Even if the most sinful worshipeth Me with undivided heart, he too must be accounted righteous, for he hath rightly resolved”. There is great hope even for a cut-throat, if he makes a strong determination and takes up the spiritual path."

"Sin is a mistake committed by the ignorant Jiva during his journey towards the Satchidananda abode. Every mistake is your best teacher. One has to evolve through sins or mistakes. Mistakes are inevitable. Some people become a prey to thoughts of sin. They ever brood: “We are great sinners. We have committed great sins”. This is a great blunder. Do not brood too much on the past events. Learn the lesson and forget the past. Once you make up your mind to tread the path of Truth, all sins will be destroyed."

One further important point. While japa, recitation of the name of God, is a great destroyer of the negative karma linked with past sins, we cannot use it as a cover for sins-- that is regarded as a grave misuse of the holy name or mantra of God. While practicing japa, we must commit to live a life based on ethics as far as possible.

The human mind is a battlefield between good and evil, noble and ignoble, right and wrong, faith and doubt, clarity and confusion and many other dualities.

The path of dharma or duty/righteousness may sometimes not be as clear as we would like it to be. For example, the dilemma of Arjuna at the start of the war in the Mahabharata. He is filled with doubt and confusion, and in despair, turns to Krishna for guidance as to what to do. Krishna does not fail him-- He provides the answers that Arjuna needed.

Similarly, if we find ourselves in a state of confusion, a dilemma, a sticky spot-- the best approach is to turn to God for guidance. Human minds and hearts are often filled with varying conflicting thoughts and feelings-- it is unwise to rely solely on our own judgement. 

It is far better and safer to say "Thy will be done". No matter what the future brings, Thy will be done. God is the best friend and wellwisher of each one of us. He never lets down those who seek His help. If we seek His will, then we will be safe, we can rest assured that no matter what difficulties and challenges we face, no matter how complicated things appear, ultimately, all will be well. We must do our part, do our best to adhere to dharma, and then we can leave the rest to Him.

Om Namo Narayanaya.

Hari Aum Tat Sat