The detestable bond

 Hari Aum.

This is another post related to twin souls (intended for any other souls unlucky enough to have one). I was speaking with a close friend recently whose situation also suggests that she too is on a twin flame journey. I would like to make some observations based upon our experiences (this post is meant to provide some insights to others on this journey, and also provide some information for those who may be curious about this path).

The first thing to say is that the twin soul bond can feel utterly detestable (most of the time). Anyone who experiences it would not wish this even upon their worst enemy as the saying goes (of course, we try not to have any actual enemies when walking the spiritual path). It truly is the most detestable bond (for a variety of reasons, some of which I will explain here)!

You may have noticed that if there is one thing I try to practice in life, it is to be truthful. I try to be as nice as reasonably possible, and the ideal situation would be where one can be both nice and truthful. Sadly, however, there are some situations, like this one, where one just has to admit the not-so-nice aspect of the journey.

On the spiritual path, we need to deal with our own egos-- our fragile little egos, filled with all sorts of negative emotions. On the twin soul journey, one of the unpleasant perks is that one gets to experience the negative emotions of the twin-- and this is all apparently due to a connection between the astral aspects of their nature (the chakras/subtle bodies etc). Every intense unpleasant emotion experienced by one twin is therefore helpfully shared by them with their counterpart. Lovely.

Even when one twin soul does everything in its power to lift up their own mind, if their counterpart is not actively attempting to do the same, the former is compelled to deal with the unpleasant negativity unleashed upon them by their twin. This can also manifest as physical health issues (some may be of course due to one's own karma, but this can absolutely include the twin soul offloading their rubbish onto one).

It is difficult to imagine anything worse than that on the spiritual path. It is bad enough to have to deal with one's own lower self, but imagine having to deal with another expression of it (in a sense, the twin souls are the 'same soul frequency' and are sort of 'one soul' but they are free to cultivate positive or negative mental qualities as they each have their own free will).  

Various negative qualities such as fear, anger, doubt, grief etc are offloaded by one twin soul onto the other via this connection, this truly detestable bond. 

It is said by Lord Krishna that this world is a 'dukhalaya', a world where sorrow abounds in order to teach us useful spiritual lessons. Well, most twin souls would say that their connection is an excellent example of this dukhalaya. It is difficult to contemplate more sorrow than that generated by this most vile, wretched and unwanted of spiritual connections.

There are a number of people online who keep on advising twin souls to 'send positive energy' to each other. Now, I would say, that is all very well, but one needs to keep things authentic and truthful. I do not believe in sending pretend positive energy to some twin soul, particularly when their presence in one's life was never particularly wanted, but feels like it was forced upon one. 

At times like this, one can only shake one's fist at the Universe and say that this is one of the most vile and appalling creations in existence. Why on Earth would God in His/Her infinite wisdom create such a thing is beyond one's understanding (no doubt this will be revealed in good time if He/She wishes, but the meantime, it is most annoying and unpleasant).

Nobody on a twin soul journey enjoys the experience. It is fundamentally designed to be vile. When I told my husband about it some time ago, he sarcastically said that he would like to find his twin soul too. I told him that he had no idea what he was talking about as it is one of the most awful experiences ever. He looked thoughtful afterwards but, fortunate soul that he is, does not really get it. And, as I wish him well, I hope and pray that he does not need to end up on this horrid journey.

I spoke with Ms Pandit (a twin soul who guides others) recently and in her words, my journey is "Five hundred per cent a twin soul connection". I was hoping that I had misheard her, that she was wrong. But no, she insisted that my connection had all the features of one. 

When I told her that I felt that my so-called twin soul, felt like a vile obstacle in my spiritual journey and my life in general, she shook her head sagely at me and said that this was not so. In fact, she declared, my twin soul was my "North star", a key guiding force who had apparently pushed me on to the right spiritual path in life (for example, being a householder yogi instead of a sannaysi). I was incredulous at her words but unfortunately have to accept that she may be right on some level. 

However, North star or not, most twin souls periodically feel an urge to shake their fist at the Universe and demand to be freed from this detestable bond, being saddled with the energy of the twin flame. The twin flame experts cheerfully say that there is no escaping it, however. "Be friendly with the Higher Self of your twin soul" they say, "Make friends with it. Say nice things to it". 

"You've got to be kidding!" one responds. "Say nice things?!". "I'd sooner kick them permanently out of every aspect of my consciousness, both my head and my heart" one would like to say. This may not sound pretty but it is at least authentic. 

And, as Sivananda says one must be authentic, I will not hesitate to be practice this quality in all aspects of my life including here. One would like to deliver an excellent kick at one's twin soul and evict them permanently from one's consciousness, but sadly, the universe has not yet provided this option (one lives in hope that it may happen one day though). It appears that one is destined to be saddled with them and their energy for the duration of one's life (and even beyond, as Ms Pandit says-- just unbelievable). 

One hopes that, if nothing else, one's twin soul develops their spiritual nature and does something spiritually useful for themselves and others. This vile experience should produce at least that result if nothing else.

If one cannot kick them out, one has no choice but to accept them. And when one is attempting to walk the spiritual path, it would help if one's twin soul could kindly do the same (or at least get started, if they are not already doing so).

So, dear friends, I would like to say, please do count yourselves as extremely fortunate if the universe has not saddled you with the baggage of a twin soul. In my view, a 'solo soul' is a lucky being indeed, you have simply no idea how fortunate. 

And I am personally hopeful that, at some point it will be revealed that this business of my being a twin soul was a dreadful mistake (and that dear Ms Pandit and others are wrong); that, in fact, I am no such thing, and that I am also a happy, 'solo soul' (stuck only with my own lower self, not that of a twin soul too!).

I remain optimistic therefore. I feel Sivananda has my back, whether twin soul or no twin soul. I'm hoping he will chase away this horrid twin flame experience which the yogis would call a sort of 'Maya' or delusive experience (the whole of samsara is filled with illusion so this is too; only, it is supposed to eventually help one to find a way out). Or at least, that he will help me to benefit spiritually from it.

Honestly, if someone had said to me five years ago, that we would see a pandemic, a war in Europe and that there were such things as twin souls and that I had one (and that the person in question was my 'North star' as Ms Pandit said), I would have fallen over laughing and asked them what on Earth they had been smoking! What a load of nonsense I would have said!

The universe has proven me wrong though. All this nonsense has happened, and is still happening. Speaking of Covid, it seems to be rearing its ugly head again on some level (as you may be aware, there are some variants of concern that have mutated significantly). I advise everyone who is being given medical/public health advice in their local area to obtain a Covid jab, to get one. There are rising numbers of patients presenting with this again and some are feeling quite unwell and ending up being admitted to hospital (though fortunately, as many have been vaccinated, the impact is not as bad as pre-vaccination).

On that note, I will conclude for now. With regard to spiritual life, I am glad to say that I am plodding on with my purascharana at the rate of 9 malas a day. And doing the MahaLakshmi mantra daily and doing a bit of the Sarasvati mantra too. I am readying myself for some Navaratri sadhana this month. There are also some eclipses coming up this month which are an excellent time to do extra mantra japa.

I hope Swami Sivananda will save me from the many absurdities and challenges in life. The grace of the Guru is really the only source of all blessings in life. I recently bought a book called the 'Guru Gita' and plan to read this in the coming weeks (I might write something about it afterwards). I will also pick up where I left off with regard to the Kapila avatara's teachings and write about this in the coming weeks.

So stay well, keep up sadhana, get jabbed and remember you are a blessed being indeed if you are a solo soul!

Om Namo Narayanaya.

Hari Aum Tat Sat.