Hari Aum.
On the spiritual path, one has to be ready to fall and get up many times. Like an ice-skater athlete, who learns to dance beautifully on ice only after many an undignified fall, a spiritual practitioner also learns to manage the mind and progress on the path of sadhana only through many an uncomfortable fall.
I had a spiritual dip recently as mentioned in the 'dark night' post in December two months ago. The joy of sadhana left me and only the sense of duty in doing it remained. This sense of duty is also important as it helps sustain the practice during tough times. But it's much better to do spiritual practices with joy.
Health has a major impact on ability to sadhana (this is probably the reason why the yogis say one should never leave sadhana for old age when the body is more likely to have health issues, and the reason they emphasise asana and pranayama for good health). When the body experiences suffering, it is difficult for spiritual seekers to concentrate the mind. The health issues that I faced in the past two months did not help my sadhana at all. Thankfully these are now passing and I feel my spiritual enthusiasm returning once more. The nausea/vomiting of pregnancy has thankfully finally left me. Just being able to eat a meal normally has given me energy. I also feel mentally happier and more positive now that I feel physically better.
My interest in sadhana is again rising. I am doing the daily japa with more enthusiasm and feel a sense of peace and relaxation during this. I am committed to completing this fourth purascharana in whatever way possible and hope that God and Guru support me in this.
In terms of visualisation during japa, I initially do a brief manasik puja of the form of Narayana but then seek His blessings and visualise His form as pure light (a disc of light in the space between the eyebrows). I find this peaceful and pleasant to visualise during japa these days.
I'm more than halfway through the current fourth purascharana. The original plan (before pregnancy) was to complete this in early October this year (at the rate of 11 malas per day). Now that the pregnancy has happened, I'm just going with the flow and taking it one step at a time. I'm doing as much japa per day as health allows (something between 10-15 malas per day currently).
I have been quite busy with work-related stuff in recent weeks but am also planning to start and finish book 4 of the Krishna series before July if possible. Man proposes and God disposes. No idea if this will happen but I will try anyway, that's all I can say really.
I pray for the blessings of God and Guru to help me complete purascharana 4 and book 4 in a timely manner.
Om Namo Narayanaya.
Hari Aum Tat Sat
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